Ashley James #18 A really brilliant mum (under investigation from Social Services)

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A post full of unsolicited advice, lovely day x

Also wooden buttons on sleepsuits wtf did she dress poor Alf in

 
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She will have such a shock and I can’t wait for it. A friend recently went from 1-2 and is thee most calm, hands on, chilled out parent yet the lack of sleep along with having to run around after a busy chatty 2yr old is annihilating them.
Alf doesn’t have any development delays (or we would’ve heard as she rinses absolutely everything for ) and if I saw him at a softplay I’d think awww he’s just learnt how to walk.
We rarely hear him talk as well? And Ash is a show off so if he said proper sentences and did funny, not forced, things she would show every bit of it.
Every child I know, including SEN children I’ve worked with, have had such gorgeous funny little personalities by this age where they really express themselves physically, emotionally & have such creative sides whether it be they love dancing to music, always giggling at their favourite toys and LOVED to sit and read stories, or the more wild ones would run around like crazy wanting to be chased.
I find it so sad seeing how he is, mainly because he always looks unwell / like he’s been given something - which by the ‘flight tips’ reel I wouldn’t put it past her to give him medicine regularly to mellow him out.
 
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I wonder if the Health Visitors still do the (I think?) two year checks? I remember with my youngest (he’s now 5) he had a developmental check at about 2. Literally went through a checklist with two HV’s and they observed him for a bit. I should imagine Alf falling very short on that. We can all see it just from the clips she chooses to share with everyone. I think it would really benefit him to have one as they can then flag it all up and do something about it.
 
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Is she serious with her reel Ms ‘I hate unsolicited advice’.

I have 4 kids and currently juggling a 2yo and a newborn. It’s an absolute shit show. Doesn’t matter how many nappy caddy’s or zipped sleepsuits we have!! As for wooden buttons… is she Armish???
 
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They do. It’s a 2 year check but often done around 27 months. They send you 2 different ASQ’s to fill in which includes communication, gross and fine motor skills, problem solving, social skills etc.

My little one is 2 and a half and from memory, they ask questions such as “is the child able to walk up/down the stairs whilst holding onto the wall or rail. Something of which we know Alf isn’t able to do (thanks to his really brilliant mum and dad)
 
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Kids are able to continue slipping through the net even with the 2y check. With covid they used to do home visits for these checks but in my area it’s now an appt at the children’s centre which you don’t have to attend. I can imagine Ash binning this apt off because she considers Alf to be Mensa-level and she blames the patriarchy for the lack of HV’s she had.

That said, she will have a HV visit her at home after baby is born but Alf will be in childcare!
 
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That reel my issue, frequently, is when she declared her posts to be full of “useful tips”. Is that her call to make? Surely that’s up to the readers who then share with others and say “hey other people, I found the tips on this post useful!” Instead she’s decided they already are…..so how come HER advice is useful but from everyone else it’s trolling and unsolicited and unwanted?
 
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Similar to her travel with toddler reel I can't say that there was anything particularly groundbreaking in terms of advice. Though I did chuckle that she thinks she's going to have the experience of being 'glued to the same place' while feeding.... I'm shortly having my second baby and I fully expect that (given I will have a toddler to look after) my feeding experience is probably going to be a lot less 'sitting on the sofa' this time around.
 
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She will be glued to the same place though!
Ashley will make it clear to Tommy that her ONLY job is to sit and feed thumbelina and she can’t possibly do any of the cleaning, cooking, bedtimes or playing with Alf.
 
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I did laugh at this
I’m sure Tommy is capable of doing his own research on recipes you know!



 
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Exactly this. I was sent a form for the last check which I didn't send back and they didn't follow up. It also the parent answering so you could out and out lie or over exaggerate (as parents subconsciously can naturally do) - no one is checking the validity of the claims. You'd hope the childcare would identify any issues but again unless serious neglect/abuse this would be to the parents and it's up to them to accept it and then act.

I'm pretty sure Ash has expressed no confidence/disdain in the HV or authority in any form so I doubt she'd take anything they said to heart even if she did fill the form honestly.
 
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If the child is attending a childcare setting at the time of the 2 year check it should be them who fill in the form etc - so in theory the childminder should be doing Alf’s. Hopefully she is honest and professional enough to fill it in truthfully and concerns will be raised to get him the support he needs.
 
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Is this the case? It wasn’t anything to do with my daughter’s nursery when it was the 1 year check.
I chased the HV multiple times and was never sent the questionnaire or booked an appointment so the check never happen and no one has bothered to get in touch
 
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Her unsolicited advice stinks of privilege. Recommends booking an osteopath? It isn't even a proven science. It costs bloody money. I have only met one person who actually booked an osteopath out of sheer desperation, didn't do anything.
And pelvic health physio...so so expensive!! I would love to be able to do that, but an initial assessment for my local one is £90...then further follow ups cost a minimum of £40.
I also got a bouncer for my son, hated it!
With my second, I didn't have the luxury of sitting in one space to feed.
"Actual" useful advice or trashleys privileged life shining through once again.
 
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I did laugh at this
I’m sure Tommy is capable of doing his own research on recipes you know!



View attachment 1909032
This guy gifted her his cookbook didn’t he, and she ignored all his messages

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Her unsolicited advice stinks of privilege. Recommends booking an osteopath? It isn't even a proven science. It costs bloody money. I have only met one person who actually booked an osteopath out of sheer desperation, didn't do anything.
To be fair, we took our soon to an osteo and it changed our lives. He was so unhappy and uncomfortable because of an horrible birth where he got trapped coming out and after one session he was like another child.
We’re not well off at all, but I’d spend any amount of money to help my baby.
Everyone I know who has seen them have said the same too.
 
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I think Osteo’s are a bit hit & miss with babies. I spent a small fortune on mine as she was a miserable baby waking 5/6 times a night after a speedy birth. They said we were out of options and free to try other osteopaths after loads of sessions with no improvement I don’t disagree they’re helpful at all. I just don’t like Ash’s flippant advice assuming everyone can access them.
 
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This was for the 2 year check, they definitely do it at nursery/childminder for 2 year olds but maybe not for 1 year olds. It does seem to differ across the country how things are done though sadly.
 
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This was for the 2 year check, they definitely do it at nursery/childminder for 2 year olds but maybe not for 1 year olds. It does seem to differ across the country how things are done though sadly.
I had to fill out the questionnaire myself for our 2 year check, they said I could keep it and pass it on to nursery if I wanted to but a lot of the questions in it were family situation based which a nursery wouldn’t be able to answer? I didn’t realise that they asked childcare to fill them in in other districts, how odd!

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ETA : She absolutely won’t attend it anyway and if she has an HV out for baby Thumb he’ll be off with childcare anyway so it’ll probably never get flagged which is really sad for him! Much better to swallow your pride and deal with any potential issues now then ignore them and send him into a school setting and let him struggle
 
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totally agree with you but definitely push to see one on the nhs because you are entitled to. A lot of health boards you can self refer but otherwise just keep at your GP. I know it will vary by health board but I waited a few weeks to see an nhs pelvic physio. I’ve since been waiting a year for a gyne appointment to get myself fixed but hey ho, Swings and roundabouts. She is right in what she says about private healthcare tho. They don’t touch anything relating to pregnancy complications. It’s infuriating.
 
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Just seen her latest tweet....
not having a smear because she had a "forced" painful examination during labour....is she having a laugh?....you need to be examined to see how labour is progressing you melt!....and yes it can be painful but you can use gas and air, or wait for the contraction to subside...thought she'd run marathons!
has she ever actually had a smear?
it's 1 practice nurse who does your smear, not the whole fucking medical faculty!

 
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