Anyone else planning on asking for divorce as soon lockdown is over?

[tskiry56]

If anything a lock down situation where your with your partner 24/7 makes you question what you really want and if your happy.
I would say follow your heart and do what's best for you.
I stayed with my ex partner for far too long because I was too afraid of being a single mum I was worried what people would think of me.
But leaving him gave me freedom I wasnt scared anymore and it made me realise what situation I was in I didnt need to hide anything anymore.
I never thought I would meet anyone after everything and resigned myself to being on my own but I met someone who makes me happy and I can be myself.
You only get one life... do what makes you happy.

 

[Meringue22]

Yes same for me. Together for 17 years, 2 kids, hardest time of my life but ultimately the best decision. I'm glad you're happy

How are you all doing? Feel free to PM me if you'd like a chat. I SO feel all you peeps in unhappy relationships.

Aw thank you. Myself and my kids are doing great and they are much happier too. I feel much stronger as a person now too! Onwards and upwards right?

 

[DCICassieStuart]

I think my friend will. He and his wife separated for a few months last year but got back together. I don't think he's in a good place at the moment. I've had a few messages from him and he said he's finding it very hard with both of them being at home at the moment and that they're arguing all the time.
I've only met his wife twice (he and I used to work together) but he's told me she's very controlling and doesn't like him speaking to other women, which I can believe as the couple of times I met her she looked me up and down and was very unfriendly towards me.
He ended up messaging me afterwards to apologise for her which I think is quite sad

 

[Comfortablyconfused]

I left my husband three years ago, aged 31, after being together for ten years in total, and living unhappily with him for the last two years of the marriage. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I had stayed with him in the current situation, I really sympathise with all of you that are stuck but please don’t stay just because you think you won’t find someone else! I have now met someone who is amazing, we are locked down together and there’s no one in the world I’d rather be with.

 

[Lurker4751]

I left my husband three years ago, aged 31, after being together for ten years in total, and living unhappily with him for the last two years of the marriage. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I had stayed with him in the current situation, I really sympathise with all of you that are stuck but please don’t stay just because you think you won’t find someone else! I have now met someone who is amazing, we are locked down together and there’s no one in the world I’d rather be with.

I love this thank you. I have spoken with OH and have called it a day. We are still living in the same house (due to lockdown) but that's it now. Scary times but feel oddly free xxx

 

[Yawnyoureboring]

I love this thank you. I have spoken with OH and have called it a day. We are still living in the same house (due to lockdown) but that's it now. Scary times but feel oddly free xxx

Good luck hun! We only get one life we have to do all we can to make it the best

 

[Girlinabubble]

Could have written this post myself... I just dont know what to do. I have been with my husband for 15 years in august and I just feel like were two friends living together now. We haven't had sex in around 18 months and I know this as it was when we conceived our 2nd daughter... he makes 0 effort with me.

I dont even feel like he wants to be with me anymore and the arguing between us is just crazy...

The whole thing bloody terrifies me

If it’s any help I could have written this 30 years ago. My friends who were in similar marriages and left their husbands are all in happy relationships now . I couldn’t let go of that ideal family life in my head and now 40 years later I’ve let it go finally. I don’t regret my life as my 3 children had a wonderful childhood but now it’s my life and I’m excited at the possibilties which is a wonderful feeling at nearly 60! Who knows I may even have a kiss - that alone has been 20 years since!

 

[Dizzy]

I love this thank you. I have spoken with OH and have called it a day. We are still living in the same house (due to lockdown) but that's it now. Scary times but feel oddly free xxx

Well done. It takes guts to end a relationship that isn’t right and downright bravery to do it in lockdown. All the very best of luck to you

 

[Yawnyoureboring]

I was with my ex for ten years from ages 16 married since 19 and two young children. We was not happy for at least half of it, but we stayed together for the children. He wasn't a bad husband it's just there was nothing there between us anymore, just friends. Tragically December of last year I lost my mother to suicide, she was only 47 so as you can imagine it made life feel all the more shorter to me. Once my head had cleared a bit I knew I had to make a change so started with my unhappy marriage. We separated in February and although I have days where I feel very lonely, exasperated by this lockdown of course, all in all I feel proud of my self. It was such a scary thought at first but the freedom and prospects are endless and I can't wait for my future now xx

 

[Lurker4751]

I was with my ex for ten years from ages 16 married since 19 and two young children. We was not happy for at least half of it, but we stayed together for the children. He wasn't a bad husband it's just there was nothing there between us anymore, just friends. Tragically December of last year I lost my mother to suicide, she was only 47 so as you can imagine it made life feel all the more shorter to me. Once my head had cleared a bit I knew I had to make a change so started with my unhappy marriage. We separated in February and although I have days where I feel very lonely, exasperated by this lockdown of course, all in all I feel proud of my self. It was such a scary thought at first but the freedom and prospects are endless and I can't wait for my future now xx

Wow... I'm so so sorry for your loss but it sounds to me like your mother raised a very strong woman. Well done you for taking the plunge, you should be so proud of yourself xx

 

[Yawnyoureboring]

Wow... I'm so so sorry for your loss but it sounds to me like your mother raised a very strong woman. Well done you for taking the plunge, you should be so proud of yourself xx

Thank you so much I'm trying my hardest to do her proud and be strong xxx

 

[17betty92]

I have been with my husband for nearly 4 years, we split a while ago but got back together. We have children together and I am pretty much a single parent to them, I am left to do everything around the house while he spends hours and hours every single day gaming and this lockdown has left me feeling lonelier than ever. He verbally abuses me on a daily basis and I am so desperate to leave him.

 

[Meringue22]

I have been with my husband for nearly 4 years, we split a while ago but got back together. We have children together and I am pretty much a single parent to them, I am left to do everything around the house while he spends hours and hours every single day gaming and this lockdown has left me feeling lonelier than ever. He verbally abuses me on a daily basis and I am so desperate to leave him.

This is one reason I couldn’t stand it any longer....the gaming!!!! Absolutely obsessed I swear to god

 

[Lurker4751]

I have been with my husband for nearly 4 years, we split a while ago but got back together. We have children together and I am pretty much a single parent to them, I am left to do everything around the house while he spends hours and hours every single day gaming and this lockdown has left me feeling lonelier than ever. He verbally abuses me on a daily basis and I am so desperate to leave him.

If you feel it's the right thing, remember you left him once and so you absolutely have the strength inside of you to do it again. I know it must be so tough with children to consider too, but I think my mum is the strongest, selfless and dependable woman in the world and she left my dad when I was little. Stay strong honey xx

 

[Ladyloulou35]

Life is too short to feel like that, as hard as it is,get out as soon as you can and live your best life for you, good luck, I hope things work out for you

 

[nobrains]

I feel the same about my relationship. Been with my husband for 9 years,married for 4 and have a 19 month old. The relationship went down hill when I was pregnant and something happened when I was 3 weeks pp that I can't forgive him for. We where having problems at Christmas, I was moaning all the time and he would leave me to go on his games but I promised to try and not moan and shout, this lasted until March and I lost it as he still hadn't bothered to try. I told him I'd had enough and he then said he would try but I feel it's too late. He should have tried because he wanted to not because his hand has been forced.

I told him I don't love him and that I want to have sex with other people(might be wrong of me to say that ) I've only ever been with him. He says we cant break up because he likes our house,he wants our son to have his family in this home but should I sacrifice my own happiness for that? The idea of moving out,money etc scares me.

He is insisting that we can have seperate lives but still live together and pretend things are ok to our families.

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. If it is any consolation I could have written that post myself as I'm in the same situation. Just turned 30 and terrified to start my life again, and terrified I may never have kids. Please feel free to message if you want to talk to someone in the same situation xx

Everyone’s journey is different but I got divorced at 31. Was single for a year before meeting my boyfriend. Now 35 living with my lovey boyfriend with our 1 year old son. My life has just got better and better

 

[Lurker4751]

Everyone’s journey is different but I got divorced at 31. Was single for a year before meeting my boyfriend. Now 35 living with my lovey boyfriend with our 1 year old son. My life has just got better and better

Thank you so much for your reply it honestly gives me hope hearing things like this. We have broken up, currently living together until lockdown ends. Feeling really positive about the future xxx

I feel the same about my relationship. Been with my husband for 9 years,married for 4 and have a 19 month old. The relationship went down hill when I was pregnant and something happened when I was 3 weeks pp that I can't forgive him for. We where having problems at Christmas, I was moaning all the time and he would leave me to go on his games but I promised to try and not moan and shout, this lasted until March and I lost it as he still hadn't bothered to try. I told him I'd had enough and he then said he would try but I feel it's too late. He should have tried because he wanted to not because his hand has been forced.

I told him I don't love him and that I want to have sex with other people(might be wrong of me to say that ) I've only ever been with him. He says we cant break up because he likes our house,he wants our son to have his family in this home but should I sacrifice my own happiness for that? The idea of moving out,money etc scares me.

He is insisting that we can have seperate lives but still live together and pretend things are ok to our families.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation honey. It sounds to me like you already know what you need to do. Please don't let fear of money and moving scare you. It may be hard in the short term but long term we all know things work out in the end but we always fixate on that short term difficulty. I feel for you with your little one but your son needs a mummy who's taking care of her own mental health and happiness to strive. I posted earlier in this thread about feeling the same as original poster and I have actually taken the plunge and ended my relationship and am feeling better for it already. Stay strong xxx

 

[Twinkle2910]

I am in a similar situation so I totally feel all of you. My oh plays games ALL day. (From eyes open to eyes shut) I am wfh and he is literally playing all the time. I keep asking him to stop for a bit so we can spend time together he says “ok” then goes straight back. We have been together 5 years and the last 2 years it’s got worse. We haven’t been intimate in well over a year. He doesn’t speak to or listen to me. I’m so lonely. I keep trying to talk about it and get told I’m moaning or controlling.
I’m soo scared to leave as I cannot afford everything on my own. I am 35 and feel I’m too old to start the dating thing again and just feel generally tit. Sorry to moan on this post but it’s the only place I can as I feel so alone. Xx

 

[Milliehaha123]

I am in a similar situation so I totally feel all of you. My oh plays games ALL day. (From eyes open to eyes shut) I am wfh and he is literally playing all the time. I keep asking him to stop for a bit so we can spend time together he says “ok” then goes straight back. We have been together 5 years and the last 2 years it’s got worse. We haven’t been intimate in well over a year. He doesn’t speak to or listen to me. I’m so lonely. I keep trying to talk about it and get told I’m moaning or controlling.
I’m soo scared to leave as I cannot afford everything on my own. I am 35 and feel I’m too old to start the dating thing again and just feel generally tit. Sorry to moan on this post but it’s the only place I can as I feel so alone. Xx

this makes me feel sad because you shouldn’t be feeling like this. I know it is cliche but life is really far too short to be stuck with the wrong person or in an unhappy relationship just because of convenience or circumstance - I always wonder how I will feel when I'm much older looking back on my life and am constantly worried that I will have huge regrets and wish I had just acted on something. You really do have the opportunity to change how you are feeling
From another angle too - my sister who is 38 recently got engaged (after being with another partner for a long long time) and we have also just found out she is expecting! Totally unexpected but amazing news. She broke up with her ex when they were 35 and I can honestly say I've never seen her so happy. She didn't want to date either but actually met some amazing people following the split.
You have to do what is right for you, but I always think better to be single and happy than unhappy in a relationship.
xx