Yeah at some point they have to help themselves. You're not a professional service there to help them with their mental health problems.I have an employee who won't deal with their mental health issues so we have to tread on eggshells all the time. Does the bare minimum as they can't cope with anything more that that. I've offered so much advice and bent over backwards for them. I'm drained.
I totally get it too. I'm really supportive to this person, more so than any other member of staff. I've spoke to them about getting counselling, medication, help etc....but they just say they don't want to go down that route. I personally don't think they should be in work. They are highly sensitive to things that are normal for everyone else. It's really affecting me.Yeah at some point they have to help themselves. You're not a professional service there to help them with their mental health problems.
I went through a tough time recently with various life events but am getting help for it. I told my manager and they were really supportive but I still feel bad that I am temporarily perhaps not as productive as I have been. I still try to pull my weight though and have covered at times parts of the team when they were going through hard times.
I get it, life sometimes throws a curveball and that's fine but when it seems unending and like the person doesn't want to help themselves it is tough on other team members.
I'm glad you are getting helpYeah at some point they have to help themselves. You're not a professional service there to help them with their mental health problems.
I went through a tough time recently with various life events but am getting help for it. I told my manager and they were really supportive but I still feel bad that I am temporarily perhaps not as productive as I have been. I still try to pull my weight though and have covered at times parts of the team when they were going through hard times.
I get it, life sometimes throws a curveball and that's fine but when it seems unending and like the person doesn't want to help themselves it is tough on other team members.
Thank youI totally get it too. I'm really supportive to this person, more so than any other member of staff. I've spoke to them about getting counselling, medication, help etc....but they just say they don't want to go down that route. I personally don't think they should be in work. They are highly sensitive to things that are normal for everyone else. It's really affecting me.
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I'm glad you are getting help
I used to work with someone who always did the absolute bare minimum and never helped the team out in terms of taking his turn to attend meetings or rotas. A colleague told me he’d had a tough time as his Dad had died so I accepted it. It turned out that was 20 years ago and he had never addressed his mental health, it had sort of become his personality.
Not to belittle someone's issues but that is absolutely mindblowing. I have a whole host of deceased relatives, can I use that as an excuse to do fuck all at work now?I used to work with someone who always did the absolute bare minimum and never helped the team out in terms of taking his turn to attend meetings or rotas. A colleague told me he’d had a tough time as his Dad had died so I accepted it. It turned out that was 20 years ago and he had never addressed his mental health, it had sort of become his personality.
Thank you, this is really helpful adviceAs others have said, you're not being too harsh. Everyone can forgive a temporary drop in someone's productivity when they're going through a tough time at home, but they're usually good at their job in normal circumstances and then improve once they've addressed the issue.
I've worked with similar people in the past and they never seem to improve. Like you've said, management can rarely be bothered to tackle the issue head on because they're worried about appearing uncaring but also because it's a lot of effort.
Generally you need to be clear several times about their incompetence, then if there's no improvement, you have to draw them up a training plan while offering support for each item. So you can't just say "you're crap at this, sort it out", you have to be nice about it and say things like "we recognise you're struggling but we really want to help you out here". Sometimes people do respond well to it, because they realise they're under the microscope and know the pisstaking days are over. However, others will still fail to improve even after the training and support and it's at that point HR can be brought in. Obviously everything needs to be documented every step of the way, too.
We had a very meek employee like this but the second they were put on a development plan they lashed out and tried to throw everyone else under the bus. A real Jekyll and Hyde character.
I hope your situation gets sorted soon, as I know how demoralising and annoying it can be.
Edited to add that it annoys me more than normal because my sister went through a tough divorce (husband walking out on her and their children for another woman) and still performed well in her full time job, despite it nearly sending her into a breakdown. I'm not saying everyone should be as resilient as her, but some are too much the other way.
If I were you, I’d decline both apps as clashing with a private app. Unless you are firm, they would assume you are always able to flex. The fact that work is flexible with you should not be too relevant as on the whole flexi goes both ways- I WFH and although my work are flexible, I’ve taken 0 special leave to take care of my child when she’s been poorly off school or sick leave when in the olden times I’d have called in sick so not to spread germs in the office.Getting a bit irritated with work at the moment.
Manager is very hot on the "check everyone's calendar to find a space and don't double book or overlap meetings, respect private appointments as these are probably medical/important". Fine, I am extra careful with it. I've got a meeting clearly labeled "private appointment" in my diary tomorrow and two separate team members including manager have booked a meeting that overlaps 15 mins at the start, then the other one the 15 mins at the end. It's also been assumed i'm on-site for one of these meetings (it's been specifically called out in an email "Oh, Kinder will be on site") when I clearly stated I am WFH fully this week.
I don't mind coming in but I am sick of the ad-hoc nature of it and being assumed last minute i'll be there. It's definitely not required that I work ad-hoc for business purposes, and they could just set me my two days to come in as the only real reason is to show our faces, but it seems they would rather blind-sight me at the last minute and now the train will cost a fortune (if I had known even as late as last week it's almost half the price). I can't even complain because they are so flexible with school runs and letting me out for an hour for stuff without putting it down as holidays (kids shows, parents evening etc) so I feel like a dick saying no, but at least give me some structure and warning?
That reminds me of a guy who works with a friend of mine. Apparently he's worked for the company for over 30 years. He was never much good, but he's gradually been "redeployed" (aka demoted) several times and is currently the lowest grade. I think they feel a bit sorry for him but he's also made a few comments about racism as a bit of a warning, so I think they're a bit scared of that.Have a colleague who was demoted due to major issues. They cant fire him due to being terrified he will use him non national status and get them on that.
He is now supposed to be support but is so all over the place he flits from one thing to another and never finishes anything.
He ignores calls and emails.
I ended up getting backlash this morning as he hadnt come back to a client in days.
Now he is asking me why I do my job the way I do, because thats how its done was my answer. He has decided to go to his boss and see if we can change that.
Nothing to do with him but sticking his nose in.
If I were him I would focus more on actually doing his real job not a fictional one where he overseas everything. He has really annoyed me today.
Absolutely this. Just say you can't make it as you have a previously scheduled appointment and (if you are joining partially) that you'll need to join online as you are WFH that week.If I were you, I’d decline both apps as clashing with a private app. Unless you are firm, they would assume you are always able to flex. The fact that work is flexible with you should not be too relevant as on the whole flexi goes both ways- I WFH and although my work are flexible, I’ve taken 0 special leave to take care of my child when she’s been poorly off school or sick leave when in the olden times I’d have called in sick so not to spread germs in the office.
@Jellycat369 are the other queries that come in at 11.47pm last night something like this?OMG! Do you work in my office? This is literally every other query that comes into the team!
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