Amanda Palmer

[sirbenfro]

She's turned off comments on a bunch of her posts, but one where they're still up people are obviously not happy. I overlooked so much poor narc behaviour from her because her music meant a lot to me growing up (DD were my first gig, I have loads of her artwork/books/cds). Have unsubbed from everything and don't know what I'll do with the stupid art but it's going in the back of a cupboard for now, I cannot stand it. What a load of bollocks to not make a statement, when as others have already said she overshares about EVERYTHING otherwise.

 

[WadieHaddadsChocolates]

I just read something on Threads where someone was saying apparently Amanda had indicated they closed the marriage when the child they have together was four years old. The nanny event happened when the child was six years old or so.

So. Sounds like Gaiman is an adulterous creep or nagged his way back into open marriage status at some point, likely at that point because of, like most people who demand open marriages, an opportunity veering on the horizon.

Btw, the utter cope I am seeing from a minority of leftist-veering fans is utterly insane. They're trying to paint what would be a project that has taken months and months if not years of research and locking down and checking facts legally to prevent them from being taken to court for libel, into a lashback for bloody David Tennant falling out with Kemi Whatsherface a couple of weeks ago.

Fans, eh. Sorry, a dude being a creep is not an uncommon occurrence. Especially a famous man who positions himself to attract young female fans. An no professional media will touch these kind of accusations until they are very much inspected at a granular level by lawyers and fact checkers. Because nobody wants to be fined millions by a court the very rich person they slagged off dragged them into.

And yes, libel. Gaiman hasn't remotely indicated he's going to take legal action over that podcast and if it were untrue, he almost certainly would use his huge fortune to smash down the journalists and media organ that published that piece.

I am also pretty sick of the contingent that pious promotes 'believes women' and until their pet famous feminist-posturing dude gets caught raping someone.
---

Yeah, the power dynamic involved in shagging your employee or a fan decades younger than you makes it questionable behaviour. I think a good life rule, and one that's really easy to remember, is not to have sex with anyone younger than your oldest child.

And for those who don't have kids?

I mean, the rule should be if they're in your employ, you are in loco parentis in any way, and if you don't wish to be known as a sad old shagger, don't persistently pursue people way, way younger than you, sexually. Don't make it your pattern of behaviour. Nobody really looks kindly upon it, apart from a subset of very gross men. Generally men who do this are very, very immature anyway and know women older see right through them.

 

[WadieHaddadsChocolates]

But the last few years she seems to have become more and more...how can I say...grifty? I wonder if Gaiman initially saw her as a younger, oh so arty, quirky second wife and as her career has faded the shine has worn off.

She's been a balls-out grifter since that appalling 'Art of Asking' book (or whatever it was called). Then having a Patreon and acting La Starving Artiste despite being married to a fucking millionaire. She's an example of making a very little talent go a very long way with an immense amount of self belief and confidence, tbqh. She cannot sing and in the end, became little more than a wandering noisy cult of personality with the aforementioned dodgy self-help type book. Spare me the tales of lift hitching and fan floor sleeping when your husband is minted and now so are you.

As for quirky second wife, the moment Gaiman got with her I thought, haha, you found yourself a 15 years younger Poundland Tori Amos since the original you liked so much wasn't free. He's looked like a fucking bag lady midlife crisis wanker ever since he's been with her. Clearly has a boner for eccentric artist women anyway.

Apparently they both slept around as part of their open relationship then had the combined balls to get butthurt about each other or whatever. Pretty immature for a pair of middle aged and above people. He's 60 now and has probably given up and decided to stick around for the kid. Typical older divorced dude with much younger wife and very young child. The classic 'do over family' because you fucked up with the first one. At least Scientology isn't involved this time. Maybe.

I find Gaiman's 'nice' image increasingly likely to be a typical smokescreen for not being quite as nice as you'd want. I always wondered if like Palmer, he shagged fans. Note most of Neil's uberfans are women on the younger side. With a dose of the kind of quirky he obviously finds attractive.

 

[brianbutterfield]

Does anyone know why her and Neil split, he says it was his fault?

At the time he made a blog post and said that he had hurt Amanda’s feelings badly.
I think she and him were all up for the open relationship thing (trying to be cool and subversive no doubt). I think when they had a child together, a lot of the emotional and physical labour fell on (surprise surprise) Amanda and Neil developed relationships with other women because like most men, his life remained relatively unchanged by having a baby.
I remember reading AP’s biography and there was this horrible but where she wrote about the first time she was sick when with him, he completely ignored her and wouldn’t engage. This was explained away by Amanda and she excused him for his shitty lack of compassion by using her usual psycho-babble but that made me feel cold.
Narcissistic behaviour often includes things like ignoring people when they are ill.
Another thing was when she had to make Christmas magical on her own because Neil found wrapping presents “triggering” and was going into “meltdown” about it all and I just thought what a fucking man-child. News Flash Neil. Everyone finds Christmas hard. You just do it for the kids. Really lost any respect for him at this point. He’s just like any other old man of his generation who thinks he still gets to be sexy and exciting, with a fulfilling career when being a parent because the woman is expected to do everything.
That’s my take anyway.
---
And… And (I’m on a roll now!) His insistence in having a room of one’s own to be a creative in is so at odds with family life and drenched in misogyny because women are always expected to just work around the bonkers sleep patterns of their children.

He illicits absolutely zero sympathy in me whatsoever. I’m sure he thought the cross pollination of each of their brands would be cooler and more lucrative than it was.

She is a professional over-sharer while he is the old school keep the fans guessing style of public persona. I felt that he found her breaking the forth wall of their lives very off putting and jarring. He likes to appeal to young goths! It’s not very cool to have the mundane aspects of your domestic life publicised on social media every five minutes. I felt that was a real area of tension for them.

I imagine it was all very exciting at first but Neil always held all the power because he was rich.

She never refers to him any more. I believe he’s done what all rich white powerful men do and gagged her with a NDA. Knowing she’s financially vulnerable and will need the money.

His relationship with Fiona Apple was unsettling at best and if I was AP I would have put a stop to that from day 1 because it made mockery out of AP.

At the end of the day he is just like any other middle classed, white powerful Brit. Abuses his power, gets everything he wants and pays for a good reputation.

 

[Blunch]

OooooOooft! The thread I needed!

Things that piss me off about Amanda Palmer:

- her eyebrows
- the way she sings like a cross between veruca salt and miss hannigan from 1980s Annie
- that one time she tried to "hire" backing musicians for her tour, but for free / beer money. Proper classical musicians like, not your mate with a set of bongos
- after getting over a mil to fund the album + tour on kickstarter, that is
- her eyebrows
- about 5 years ago she posted a pic of kids in punk clothes at Camden Market all sat in a circle on their phones and mocked them for not being real punks (sorry no receipts and can't find the facebook post... Will dig about a bit more). A bit fucking rich Amanda
- that whole "I'm more INTENSE than You" vibe
- her eyebrows

 

[WadieHaddadsChocolates]

Just caught up on all the Amanda Grifter Palmer and Neil Bloody Gaiman since 2021.

well.

Can't say I am surprised at the following revelations:

Amanda is still talking obnoxious me me me shite and is now defending Russell Greasy Brand. Edgy gurl does edgy gurl stuff. 'he was lovely to me' .. yes well, it's all about you, isn't it. That's the important thing, the only important thing to the terminally self-absorbed person.

They got divorced - imagine my shock. One of those marriages between two utterly self-absorbed 'artists' that is destined to end. Usually the ones that last are between an Utterly Self-Absorbed Artist and a Self-Sacrificing, Put-Upon Spouse Who Stays in the BackGround, Suffering.

Neil is, as I thought, not a 'lovely' or 'nice' as his sickeningly twee PR suggests. Very few people of course are 'nice' in the way Neil portrays himself as, and of those that are, I can guarantee none of them are the creature known as a 'writer'. They're gnarly creatures generally and the dude versions tend to come with insane amounts of ego and expectations of their partners. Often unfair ones. I could reel off a list of Great Male Writers who treated their spouses and partners utterly appallingly and but let's just add Neil to the Minor Twat List and leave it there.

It's sort of sad, realising that people you admired when you were young and read their stuff are just flawed, idiotic humans, often so flawed as to be quite appalling characters, especially domestically. But that's life innit. I say, if you want to idolise something, idolise the work, not the human.

 

[Muddlinleigh]

My mum died last Thursday: I spent her last days sitting by her bed and holding her hand; not posting thirst pics on social media. Funny that

 

[skronkywildcat]

Agree with all this except that there’s nothing wrong/shameful about being a terf!

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

There is a new episode of ' Master' an account from a women called Claire. She has already spoken to a different podcast.

The thing I don't understand about this account, is that Claire had a boyfriend and was having very intimate conversations with Gaiman, sending and getting pictures and having phone sex, yet seems to maintain that it was a friendship. My boyfriend is not controlling, but he would absolutely hit the roof if he found out I was casually doing that with another person, celebrity or not, whilst claiming it was a friendship. Her boyfriend seems to be aware of some of what was happening as well.

She also talks about being uncomfortable about him from the start, but keeps meeting him even though every time they meet up he touches her inappropriately.

I am not blaming the victim, she obviously feels very distressed about what has happened.

I just can't comprehend how you would get into that situation or how someone would have that much power over you. I think that just means I am lucky that I have not run into someone with that level of charisma.

Getting on my soapbox for a second, this is why we need to talk to young people about consent, how to ask for it, how to give it, but also trusting your instinct and how to say no if someone does not pass a vibe check.

The trouble with free love is it's not free. It's just very cheap. Couples like Gaiman and Palmer try to make a virtue of non-monogamy/polyamory as if they have a fairy wand to make all the normal human emotions disappear. And I think that lifestyle attracts idealistic and vulnerable people who are good at justifying all manner of things in the name of right-on, until they end up in a right mess. It also attracts flakes and drama queens and yes, abusers too. Talk of consent has to include things like peer pressure and desire to please and hero worship, because none of these are good reasons to consent to sexual activity.

 

[lilykestrel]

I have no proof or source but I read somewhere that they may have already been blacklisted from actual nanny agencies because of their shitty behaviour. Amanda loves to exploit fans though, so maybe they never bothered with qualified (and expensive, less vulnerable, less attractive) nannies. There seems to be a LOT more to come out

Regardless of anything else more horrific, I can't imagine Amanda Palmer is a prompt settler of invoices

 

[sweetnessfollows]

I think there's a Neil Gaiman thread but this link is for those who want to discuss the reprehensible behavior of Amanda Palmer. She brought vulnerable women to her husband who abused them.

It seems they would both fuck fans and then use them for free nanny labor. This is a very detailed and hard to read article, with explicit sexual abuse described.

The Dark Secrets Behind the Neil Gaiman Abuse Accusations

archived 13 Jan 2025 13:29:11 UTC

archive.is

 

[WadieHaddadsChocolates]

What do you think of NG and the accusations made against him?

I don't know much of him, I do not read fantasy, but always thought that he seemed genuine and very creative as well as obscenely good with words.

I mean, one doesn't preclude the other. You can be a talented fucker, and a horrific person. I think I've written here before on this precise subject. A lot of male artists are quite simply, fucking terrible people. You wouldn't want to know them. It's the arse-kissing and the ability to get away with shit and constantly be excused from shit because talent. that turns them into horrors. Doesn't take away from the artefacts they created, a good book is still a good book etc.

I think Gaiman is clearly a sex obsessed, sad old bastard of a human being with a carefully cultivated fanbase that allows him to be so, practically speaking, by producing a succession of very young, quirky women idealistic and enamoured enough to get into the situations described with him and realise too late that they're just meat puppets and he's just another old dude who wants to paw young girls as much for his ego as anything else. I find the entitled sounding behaviour quite believable because this is very often how famous men who don't have to try, treat young starstruck women because to them they are disposable and well, they're easily manipulated idiots to them. Been that way through the modern era. No different than the horrific way rock stars treated teenaged girls as interchangeable meat back in the 70s onwards. Probably way more sanitized than that now, actually. Gaiman's girls aren't 15 thankfully but he does have all the classic hallmarks of the type.

 

[theleagueofgentlemen]

I hate to say it, but this statement is SUCH bullshit.
Woman who has spent her entire career spilling her guts about absolutely everything and prides herself on being ‘open’ whilst simultaneously giving the impression that she’s all about ‘sticking it to the man’ suddenly wants privacy?
Oh fuck off Amanda.

 

[skronkywildcat]

When "offline" I often pop back online to tell people I'm offline.

 

[bottlewrapper]

Amanda Palmer is being charged with procuring women for her ex husband to rape. This is beyond disgusting that she would target homeless and mentally unstable women and then drop them off to be abused.

Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer sued over sexual abuse allegations

Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer sued over sexual abuse allegations

www.avclub.com

Unfortunately she's not being charged (from what I've read, she should be), they are just being sued. But it might lead to criminal charges if enough evidence comes to light.

The Vulture article drops enough evidence that they originally had a wild/seedy sex life based on picking up random women to bring into their bed, and as most sensible people would shy away from being a couple's sex toy, common sense says that their choice is automatically going to skew to damaged individuals.

I'm still staggered that anyone who considers themselves a good parent would think that an unqualified girl with little/no prior experience, who would also be convenient to have sex with, would be the best choice to look after their child, particularly given their wealth.

It's almost as if Palmer knows that her husband is a sexual predator and also that a properly qualified nanny wouldn't put up with their shit for a second, so has targeted those unlikely (or so she thought) to speak up.

 

[Venuslurker]

Maybe in this turmoil, there's a little good news to brighten your day.

I was worried about the Israel/Palestine conflict but then I found out Amanda palmer has a new "him person" and I just feel all fuzzy now.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

She's been a balls-out grifter since that appalling 'Art of Asking' book (or whatever it was called). Then having a Patreon and acting La Starving Artiste despite being married to a fucking millionaire. She's an example of making a very little talent go a very long way with an immense amount of self belief and confidence, tbqh. She cannot sing and in the end, became little more than a wandering noisy cult of personality with the aforementioned dodgy self-help type book. Spare me the tales of lift hitching and fan floor sleeping when your husband is minted and now so are you.

As for quirky second wife, the moment Gaiman got with her I thought, haha, you found yourself a 15 years younger Poundland Tori Amos since the original you liked so much wasn't free. He's looked like a fucking bag lady midlife crisis wanker ever since he's been with her. Clearly has a boner for eccentric artist women anyway.

Apparently they both slept around as part of their open relationship then had the combined balls to get butthurt about each other or whatever. Pretty immature for a pair of middle aged and above people. He's 60 now and has probably given up and decided to stick around for the kid. Typical older divorced dude with much younger wife and very young child. The classic 'do over family' because you fucked up with the first one. At least Scientology isn't involved this time. Maybe.

I find Gaiman's 'nice' image increasingly likely to be a typical smokescreen for not being quite as nice as you'd want. I always wondered if like Palmer, he shagged fans. Note most of Neil's uberfans are women on the younger side. With a dose of the kind of quirky he obviously finds attractive.

The last paragraph of this post aged like exquisitely crafted wine.

 

[virtualorigami]

a few years ago a girl i worked with grifted thousands of pounds from friends by asking for them to donate a few pounds instead of buying her a coffee when they saw her (as if they would?!) so that she could go to a wedding in australia. she was a massive amanda palmer fan and that was what inspired her to do it, like she genuinely thought that was an ok thing to do because of her? at the time people were donating to it without questioning and i was wondering whether i was just a total arsehole for thinking it was cheeky AF.

it’s just totally normalised now thanks to these absolute chancers

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Not sure if this belongs on the Gaiman thread or here but saw this screenshot on Twitter earlier

 

[Whatevesmate]

In typical narcissist style they will both feel victimised and completely misunderstood and believe that ordinary, basic people don't understand the artistic way. Pair of self serving cunts