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I’m just gonna put this out there. I’ve been with my partner ten years and I always think this;
You can’t expect your partner not to have any secrets from you. Your partner will fancy other people. Your partner will flirt with other people. Your partner will even if it’s just once think about sleeping with someone else. They may also become friendly with someone from the opposite sex. Texting etc...Sometimes we expect our other halves to be our confidante, our lover, our best friend, our companion, our provider, and the strong one who is also emotional when it suits. My point is, one person will never be able to provide everything we/they need. That’s why we have various friends because each give us something another person doesn’t. Your husband may not be cheating, he might just be having conversations with her that he feels he can’t have with you ?
You can’t expect your partner not to have any secrets from you. Your partner will fancy other people. Your partner will flirt with other people. Your partner will even if it’s just once think about sleeping with someone else. They may also become friendly with someone from the opposite sex. Texting etc...Sometimes we expect our other halves to be our confidante, our lover, our best friend, our companion, our provider, and the strong one who is also emotional when it suits. My point is, one person will never be able to provide everything we/they need. That’s why we have various friends because each give us something another person doesn’t. Your husband may not be cheating, he might just be having conversations with her that he feels he can’t have with you ?
This is a whole level of self assurance I will never haveI’m just gonna put this out there. I’ve been with my partner ten years and I always think this;
You can’t expect your partner not to have any secrets from you. Your partner will fancy other people. Your partner will flirt with other people. Your partner will even if it’s just once think about sleeping with someone else. They may also become friendly with someone from the opposite sex. Texting etc...Sometimes we expect our other halves to be our confidante, our lover, our best friend, our companion, our provider, and the strong one who is also emotional when it suits. My point is, one person will never be able to provide everything we/they need. That’s why we have various friends because each give us something another person doesn’t. Your husband may not be cheating, he might just be having conversations with her that he feels he can’t have with you ?
fair to play to ya!
That’s true and if he’s not cheating fair play.I’m just gonna put this out there. I’ve been with my partner ten years and I always think this;
You can’t expect your partner not to have any secrets from you. Your partner will fancy other people. Your partner will flirt with other people. Your partner will even if it’s just once think about sleeping with someone else. They may also become friendly with someone from the opposite sex. Texting etc...Sometimes we expect our other halves to be our confidante, our lover, our best friend, our companion, our provider, and the strong one who is also emotional when it suits. My point is, one person will never be able to provide everything we/they need. That’s why we have various friends because each give us something another person doesn’t. Your husband may not be cheating, he might just be having conversations with her that he feels he can’t have with you ?
However it’s not acceptable to break a marital vow and also to betray someone’s trust and destroy their self confidence in the process. If you’re in a relationship where you choose to have your needs met but you sacrifice the other persons needs in the process you’re a shady bleep.
Really hope OP is ok!
Well, it got worse. Just when I was thinking and apologising for being an idiot over the first text message, I found an absolute bunch of screen shots from snapchat on his phone. Talking to some woman I'd never heard of about both of their intimate parts and what they'd like to do. Then him literally getting into an argument with someone this woman knows and saying how much she means to him and what he could do to her. I am beyond hurt. I want to be with him because I honestly do love him and it's 21 years and 3 kids but how can I move on from this.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this, I can imagine how painful this is for you, it’s my worst nightmare so I feel so sad knowing you’re dealing with it. Has your husband admitted to it all now? Or is he still trying to deny it? Did he give any explanation for his actions?
Am sorry to hear this. I hope you are ok. He’s a dick. I assume he has no explanation. I can’t really say how you can move on, you’ve both got to want to and there has to be a lot of talking and a lot of honesty. I really hope you can get past it
I’ve just read this thread and I feel physically sick.
I was in a similar situation with my first husband. Thankfully we did not have children.
Tell him you want a Divorce and see what he does next. If he falls at your feet in a sobbing wreck and begs you to attend Counselling there _may_ be some hope for a new start with new rules. He must understand that it will take years to rebuild trust.
If, on the other hand, you ask for a Divorce and he sneers/ laughs/ shouts/ any inappropriate response which isn’t 100% horrified and heartbroken - then you need to speak to a Lawyer and get all of your ducks in a row.
Courage! Sending love.
I was in a similar situation with my first husband. Thankfully we did not have children.
Tell him you want a Divorce and see what he does next. If he falls at your feet in a sobbing wreck and begs you to attend Counselling there _may_ be some hope for a new start with new rules. He must understand that it will take years to rebuild trust.
If, on the other hand, you ask for a Divorce and he sneers/ laughs/ shouts/ any inappropriate response which isn’t 100% horrified and heartbroken - then you need to speak to a Lawyer and get all of your ducks in a row.
Courage! Sending love.
Ok so... I got defensive and angry when my bf demanded I show him a fb conversation and there was nothing in it. It was literally just saying hi and nothing else to an acquaintance after we added each other. The way he asked however made me angry. So I think there can be a legit explanation as to why he got pissed off.
as for the conversation.... it’s really hard to say just based on that text. They could have talked about her marriage just as friends etc. Also.... I don’t know who you are banking with but every bank I have dealt with allows you to have the app on as many devices as you want. So probably time to get the app on your own phone. blowing things up over one text message would be premature but maybe be a bit more observing. Does he have new habits? Did his behaviour change in any way? Is he going out more, is he spending more....
as for the conversation.... it’s really hard to say just based on that text. They could have talked about her marriage just as friends etc. Also.... I don’t know who you are banking with but every bank I have dealt with allows you to have the app on as many devices as you want. So probably time to get the app on your own phone. blowing things up over one text message would be premature but maybe be a bit more observing. Does he have new habits? Did his behaviour change in any way? Is he going out more, is he spending more....
You and your children do NOT deserve this. Ask him to leave immediately. Do not be a door mat. What kind of example are you setting if you stay?
I always think would you allow or be happy if someone treated your daughter/son like this? NO you wouldn’t, so why would you settle for it.
I would tell him to leave. You need space, not to think about him but how you’ll move on for the best with yourself and children being the main aim. He can go shack up with his new mrs by the sound of it.. Get rid!!!
you can do this. Xxxx
I always think would you allow or be happy if someone treated your daughter/son like this? NO you wouldn’t, so why would you settle for it.
I would tell him to leave. You need space, not to think about him but how you’ll move on for the best with yourself and children being the main aim. He can go shack up with his new mrs by the sound of it.. Get rid!!!
you can do this. Xxxx
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Ok I just read the part where he was on snapchat w someone else. You need to send those to yourself bc you’ll need them.
Oh no how bloody awful. Well ignore my previous advice - that goes way beyond mild flirting. What a bleeping dick. And how dare he make you feel bad in the first place for questioning him.
Are you going to confront him or sit back and watch him pathetically trying to hide it from you? Because it is utterly pathetic. A grown man acting like that.
So sorry this is happening to you
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Are you going to confront him or sit back and watch him pathetically trying to hide it from you? Because it is utterly pathetic. A grown man acting like that.
So sorry this is happening to you
.duck I am so sorry, what a total and utter cock. Not just disrespecting you but your 3 children too. I bet whilst he was sending these pictures you were the one looking after his children?
You are the only person who knows how you can move on from this. I have been cheated on before and have tried to forget but I harboured so much resentment to my ex that it just collapsed and I ended up in a bad way, just consumed with hatred and obsessing over the most minor things. My ex was also physically abusive so I’m not sure if that’s comparable as I had so much built up hatred to begin with.
If my husband were to cheat on me - a man who treats me like a queen, perhaps I would try harder to see past it and move on. I just don’t know. All I know is one of my faults is a tendency to hold grudges. I just feel I would be consumed with resentment. Would you be able to move on and keep it in the past?
Forgiving your husband isn’t a sign of weakness but realistically you have to do it for yourself, NOT your children. If you’re not happy in the relationship I truly believe it will be more detrimental to your children than breaking up. How is your relationship in other ways?x
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Read ‘leave a cheater gain a life’ I know you won’t want to. I know you want to be the exception. But in all likelyhood you won’t be.
People who really love you don’t have affairs and cheat and do things that will hurt you.
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry to hear. I know how it feels to find stuff like this, it’s sickening. Sending you love
YES to this.
If he isn’t 100% on your side begging for forgiveness get out of there.
We can all make mistakes. But if it’s that big of a mistake he will be desperate to do everything he can to fix it. If he isn’t he either doesn’t care or he doesn’t respect you enough to believe you’re strong enough to do that. Either way he will likely do it again and again.
Sadly unless he wants to make it better there is nothing you can do. I know its not what you want to hear. If he loves you he will fix it
If he doesnt you know where u stand. Know your worth. You deserve so much better.xx
Hiya, I feel like I’ve invaded a party I wasn’t invited to writing this 
I’m an “instagrammer” who’s been slagged off a few times (mostly for eating cake ) and come and check this site every now and again to see if I’ve made it...I joke.
Anyway, I felt absolutely compelled to write here and offer for the OP to get in touch for a chat.
I’m super open on my Instagram and will always be, my ex cheated, I found out by checking his phone. We have two kids. I took him back, it is possible, but he did it again and again and again.
in the end it made me really mentally unwell and I try and help as many women as I can by being open about it. It’s not you, don’t feel shame, try to talk calmly, maybe consider therapy, find out what he wants to do.
But most of all remember, you are worth more than the way he has made you feel - and you can absolutely 100% do this on your own. Im happy to chat on the phone if you can safely xxxx
I’m an “instagrammer” who’s been slagged off a few times (mostly for eating cake ) and come and check this site every now and again to see if I’ve made it...I joke.Anyway, I felt absolutely compelled to write here and offer for the OP to get in touch for a chat.
I’m super open on my Instagram and will always be, my ex cheated, I found out by checking his phone. We have two kids. I took him back, it is possible, but he did it again and again and again.
in the end it made me really mentally unwell and I try and help as many women as I can by being open about it. It’s not you, don’t feel shame, try to talk calmly, maybe consider therapy, find out what he wants to do.
But most of all remember, you are worth more than the way he has made you feel - and you can absolutely 100% do this on your own.
Im happy to chat on the phone if you can safely xxxx- Status