Am I being ghosted? (New relationship)

[Gertrude]

Oh believe me, when I have fights with my boyfriend, I write what I really think of him in my notes and then compose myself and talk calmly. Anyone who read my notes would think I’m a maniac sometimes I read them back and cringe at myself!

It really is excellent advice and I’m going to start doing this. It’s kind of like journaling in a weird way!?
Maybe good to do it for all relationships, not just romantic..there are lots of things I’d love to say to my siblings and colleagues

 

[Monkeybum]

It really is excellent advice and I’m going to start doing this. It’s kind of like journaling in a weird way!?
Maybe good to do it for all relationships, not just romantic..there are lots of things I’d love to say to my siblings and colleagues

I do it at work a lot. Click reply when an email annoys me. Always delete the recipient. Type what I want to say. Save it in drafts, read through the next day and delete

It's very cathartic thrashing out an email saying exactly what you want. Just don't send

 

[Scorpihoe]

I do it at work a lot. Click reply when an email annoys me. Always delete the recipient. Type what I want to say. Save it in drafts, read through the next day and delete

It's very cathartic thrashing out an email saying exactly what you want. Just don't send

So glad you said “delete recipient”, imagine writing out an angry email to your boss and accidentally sending it

 

[Gertrude]

I do it at work a lot. Click reply when an email annoys me. Always delete the recipient. Type what I want to say. Save it in drafts, read through the next day and delete

It's very cathartic thrashing out an email saying exactly what you want. Just don't send

Ahaha, good idea! My usual thing is to just silently seethe over things, which isn’t good for my mental well-being.

Just imagine clicking send

 

[AutumnSpring]

I do it at work a lot. Click reply when an email annoys me. Always delete the recipient. Type what I want to say. Save it in drafts, read through the next day and delete

It's very cathartic thrashing out an email saying exactly what you want. Just don't send

Not the same but my close team and I (3 females) always write peoples names down when they’ve annoyed us and then we go and shred them at the end of the day it’s strangely satisfying

 

[Ohflogoff]

He then went on to say that IF he ever HAPPENED to go on a dating app when we were together, that is wouldn’t mean anything and sometimes he just gets bored.

Late to the party here, but this bit is the crux of it all.

He has a dating app. He is using the dating app. He has met someone else. He was planting the seed for you to know he has the dating app. Maybe hoping you’d duck him off immediately. Maybe to plant the seed in order to duck you off imminently.

He is playing the anxiety card. He doesn’t want to communicate with you anymore. He pulled you in and fucked you about. His behaviour is not acceptable and you deserve better.

I would go as far as saying that this would likely be normal behaviour for him. The thrill of the chase, make the person fall for him and then duck her off when his work is done.

Delete. Block. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT

 

[Yoghurtpots]

Any update?

 

[BigQueenEnergy]

I’m way too invested in this! I hope she doesn’t take him back, she deserves so much better.

I wish I could go back in time and leave from the first red flag.

 

[JD-Morgan]

I don’t want to be that person...

but what if you did go with option 3 and he contacted you another way and said something had happened with a friend or family member kinda thing? Like I said before, not all guys are assholes.

99% of the other posts disagree with me completely however personally I’d like an explanation, even if it’s to say they don’t want to see me anymore.

 

[Ohflogoff]

I don’t want to be that person...

but what if you did go with option 3 and he contacted you another way and said something had happened with a friend or family member kinda thing? Like I said before, not all guys are assholes.

99% of the other posts disagree with me completely however personally I’d like an explanation, even if it’s to say they don’t want to see me anymore.

Trouble is, it’s highly unlikely something had happened. If something had happened, there are ways and means to contact. “Something bad has happened. I’m really sorry”. Let’s you know the deal and let’s you know you’re thinking of them. If he was that into her, he would tell her the low down.

she will never get anymore info because this Fella is a coward. If he wanted to give some info, he would have. Fact

 

[Caramel Latte]

What if they guy was already on my fb and insta before everything happened? I deleted his number/whatsapp but I felt like if i block him on the other sm I'd look like i was angry/hurt by him enough to care to block him.

Also that was 1 month ago so kinda too late now
I'm sure I'm gonna see him again sooner or later as we live close and go to same places more or less. So i planned to just plainly passively ignore him. Is that enough?

 

[Rainbow1]

Trouble is, it’s highly unlikely something had happened. If something had happened, there are ways and means to contact. “Something bad has happened. I’m really sorry”. Let’s you know the deal and let’s you know you’re thinking of them. If he was that into her, he would tell her the low down.

she will never get anymore info because this Fella is a coward. If he wanted to give some info, he would have. Fact

I agree I think what OP posted about the odd FaceTime conversation where he said he felt bad for doing things and his ‘hypothetical’ situation of being on dating apps is a massive red flag and actually not so subtle

I’ve been there trying to justify behaviour with well what if he really is ill or maybe something has happened with family

In the end it takes 5 seconds to send a text to explain above and say you’ll talk soon rather than a flat out ignore

 

[BigQueenEnergy]

I don’t want to be that person...

but what if you did go with option 3 and he contacted you another way and said something had happened with a friend or family member kinda thing? Like I said before, not all guys are assholes.

99% of the other posts disagree with me completely however personally I’d like an explanation, even if it’s to say they don’t want to see me anymore.

It’s still no excuse. Even if something happened, it means he has poor communication.

 

[Bleurghgram]

 

[Yoghurtpots]

I don’t want to be that person...

but what if you did go with option 3 and he contacted you another way and said something had happened with a friend or family member kinda thing? Like I said before, not all guys are assholes.

99% of the other posts disagree with me completely however personally I’d like an explanation, even if it’s to say they don’t want to see me anymore.

If he was falling for her, he would have chemicals in his body where he was craving her and he would want her to make him feel better if there had been a crisis or just in general. She would be the tonic to his gin. He has blatantly fucked her off because he is a horrible person! He probably did it to boost his ego. I am invested though and I do want an answer from him! I may rant in my notes only joking. Feel so sorry for OP she seems lovely!

 

[Laur91]

I think the note-ranting has been one of the best things to take home from this thread hahaha I’m so glad you all do it too.

i *hate* when I forget to delete them though and I go back in and find some spiel I’ve written ‘to’ my boyfriend and then I’m reminded of it and I feel tit again hahaha

 

[Scorpihoe]

I’m so invested in this, I must know where he’s been and why he has fucked off our friend sweetcorn

I can’t stand cliffhangers

 

[OatMatchaLatte]

Right? I keep checking back to see if there's an update.

 

[Bleurghgram]

Justice for Sweetcorn!

 

[Silly Sausage]

Maybe we’ll get ghosted seriously though give her time