What are the lockdown rules where you are JD?Glad you’re ok
Noticed from your first post that you were from Scotland, me too! Maybe I know the guy
Am I being ghosted? (New relationship)
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Thanks for the update @Sweetcorn!
Just to say not all guys are bad guys at all. When you meet a good one, it’ll be worth the wait, and he won’t play games or mess around. He’ll simply say he likes you and be there for you and with you, and things will evolve from there. They aren’t all messers or master manipulators. My husband wouldn’t have the energy for all the nonsense some of the men on this thread have been up to
This has brought back memories of a guy at uni I really liked, we ended up kissing one night, I went to his for a date... and then because I wouldn’t sleep with him that was the end of it
he told me (via msn messenger. I am getting old!) he was sorry I got the wrong idea about what was happening by between us... 
Just to say not all guys are bad guys at all. When you meet a good one, it’ll be worth the wait, and he won’t play games or mess around. He’ll simply say he likes you and be there for you and with you, and things will evolve from there. They aren’t all messers or master manipulators. My husband wouldn’t have the energy for all the nonsense some of the men on this thread have been up to
This has brought back memories of a guy at uni I really liked, we ended up kissing one night, I went to his for a date... and then because I wouldn’t sleep with him that was the end of it
he told me (via msn messenger. I am getting old!) he was sorry I got the wrong idea about what was happening by between us... God these stories like how can people be that cruel? I’m so sorry for each and every one of you 
it makes me hate men( I know they’re not all bad) but I’ve been screwed over many times and it really makes you lose faith, I find it so hard to trust and open up! I’ve been single so long now and just went traveling instead. It’s a great distraction and you can have some fun with men you meet along the way without getting tied down and heartbroke
it makes me hate men( I know they’re not all bad) but I’ve been screwed over many times and it really makes you lose faith, I find it so hard to trust and open up! I’ve been single so long now and just went traveling instead. It’s a great distraction and you can have some fun with men you meet along the way without getting tied down and heartbroke@Sweetcorn you did the right thing! you honestly seem so lovely, you deserve someone 1000% times better than him! I kept going back to a guy that would ghost me and block my number then randomly text me for almost a year and it was so draining! Never worth it
Yes, I’ve read it. It didn’t change anything for me because I wasn’t ready to change!Has anyone read a book called “Why men love witches” by Sherry Argov?
Apparently it’s very popular and meant to be good for setting boundaries and standing up for yourself in relationships. She claims by doing so, it increases a man’s love and respect for you.
It sounds good, and I want to buy it, but want to know if anyone had read it and thought it was worth it?
Or if it’s just bull
I’m actually subscribed to FemaleDatingStrategy on Reddit
It’s all about teaching women their worth and not putting up with any tit. I wish I found it when I was younger because I let men abuse me all my life.
But never again! I know my value now and if I never meet someone who treats me right, then I’m happy staying single because I’m creating a good life for myself.
I agree with the posts suggesting his behaviour was a perfect example of love bombing.
I'm sorry to say this, but I think there is someone else and it's best that you count your losses and move on. Even if he was to admit to this, and say that he'd chosen you, this period of silence is enough to make me think that he's not suitable boyfriend material in any case. Move on - and yes, I know this is easier said than done - and find someone far more deserving of your time and energy.
I spent far too long worrying about a similar situation many years ago. This guy lied, mucked me around constantly, moved countries without even announcing he was leaving (!), only to expect me to drop everything and join him (and chances were that if I had, he would've bailed on me, leaving me alone in a foreign country). He'd leave messages for me saying how much he missed me (this was well before social media); then I'd call him back and he'd be very cold ... it was just such a waste of energy and left me absolutely heartbroken and clinically depressed.
I'm sorry to say this, but I think there is someone else and it's best that you count your losses and move on. Even if he was to admit to this, and say that he'd chosen you, this period of silence is enough to make me think that he's not suitable boyfriend material in any case. Move on - and yes, I know this is easier said than done - and find someone far more deserving of your time and energy.
I spent far too long worrying about a similar situation many years ago. This guy lied, mucked me around constantly, moved countries without even announcing he was leaving (!), only to expect me to drop everything and join him (and chances were that if I had, he would've bailed on me, leaving me alone in a foreign country). He'd leave messages for me saying how much he missed me (this was well before social media); then I'd call him back and he'd be very cold ... it was just such a waste of energy and left me absolutely heartbroken and clinically depressed.
Good for you! You've made the right call. You've nothing to be embarrassed aboutHey tattlers, thanks again for all your well wishes!
I decided to go with number three so I haven’t contacted him and removed him. Thought the best way was to just play cool and look completely unbothered so that’s what I’ve done. I’m okay, I’m not going to cry over him, it’s so not worth it. More than anything it just makes you feel so embarrassed because like I’ve already said, now I need to explain to my family and friends, when I just told them about him
At this point I’m just frustrated in general with men and dating. I hate to generalise but from this thread it appears so many men act this way (or worse) and I’m just left wondering how many more times will I be screwed over? Part of me wants to give up with dating apps but then I’d have no way of meeting guys, even more so now with covid, but even if covid wasn’t a factor it would still be hard for me to meet guys (I also work in a very female dominated environment). I’m kinda losing hope that guys won’t always be assholes.
As well guys are just so hard to read and they change their minds in the blink of an eye. Like in this instance, I think he just got spooked by how intense things were getting and maybe thought he wanted something more casual instead, which is mega frustrating because HE was the one to make it so intense. I imagine this happens with many guys, they are all in then suddenly get cold feet but.. why? Don’t go in so intense if it’s going to freak you out! Haha it’s really not that hard.
Should we as women be more assertive about what we expect? But then I feel like most guys would think you were a bit ‘crazy’ (yep their favourite word) and back off straight away. But then you think we’ll that guy really wasn’t worth the time then but ughhh they are just impossible
But yeah maybe we should get a dating advice thread? Where we can share stories and advice (If there isn’t already one?) because it appears so many of us go through this stuff and I really enjoyed this girl chat with you all
most of us have had the wool pulled over our eyes to some degree. Speaking for myself, my advice to ignore him has come from my own mistake. Once the wools off it's easier to spot this kind of behaviour in the future & you won't tolerate it.When you meet the right one, there won't be any games or backing off. He'll have his sights set on being with you.
I'm trying not to generalise either but I know a few men who use dating apps & their egos inflated because they're in touch with so many women. Half of the women wouldn't entertain them if they met in a conventional sense. It's smoke and mirrors.
It's good to be assertive with yourself about what you want in a potential partner. I think it's better to keep your cards closer to your chest until you know you can trust someone. If someone comes on strong from the get go, take it with a pinch of salt.
Don't let it put you off. It's a twisty road of frogs until you meet your prince
with the odd goblin trying to grab your attention on the way 
If you want to feel even more depressed about these duck boy men, they don’t grow out of it. My mum is 62 and is going through this exact same thing right now. The bloke is 65 for duck sake.
Blimey. Your poor mum. What is wrong with some of these men?
It’s really crappy because my mum is usually so so chilled and laid back. She always was the one giving me the best advice like don’t reply etc. Now I’m giving here advice! She’s currently at the stage where she’s debating whether to text him something crappy. Classic love bombing and all of a sudden going super cold and distant.
He sounds like a right hole. Good job she’s got you to talk to about it.
Definitely. She is also close to my best friend who I mentioned previously is constantly treated like this. We’ve started zooming together and all giving advice as I am far too emotional and angry so I always have to have the last word.
I think what’s so sad about my mums case is these days women are so much more empowered when it comes to sex, whereas from her days it’s a bigger thing. To be fair I don’t think she is cut up on that part I just think she’s worried she’s embarrassed herself and is also really confused. Honestly I just don’t get how hard it is to be open and honest.
Level 3 - I’m in West Lothian
Wish I found this thread last week.. was literally dating a guy for 7 weeks.. he was really full on and always said the right things - deleted dating apps after the first date - told his parents about me etc - said he could see me as his girlfriend and that that was a huge thought as he wants his next gf to be his wife (we’re both 24
) - I thought nothing of it and just thought it was sweet as I’m used to guys just fizzling out or just wanting causal - anyway last week out of the blue tells me he doesn’t want this anymore and ended things....... I was in shock. He made it intense and moved things quickly yet he made me feel like I was pushing it... I blocked him on everything but ugh it honestly sets you back with trusting guys again as they can say all the right the right things then bam cold as ice 
) - I thought nothing of it and just thought it was sweet as I’m used to guys just fizzling out or just wanting causal - anyway last week out of the blue tells me he doesn’t want this anymore and ended things....... I was in shock. He made it intense and moved things quickly yet he made me feel like I was pushing it... I blocked him on everything but ugh it honestly sets you back with trusting guys again as they can say all the right the right things then bam cold as ice I don’t understand why guys do this?! Is it a manipulation for us to sleep with them?Wish I found this thread last week.. was literally dating a guy for 7 weeks.. he was really full on and always said the right things - deleted dating apps after the first date - told his parents about me etc - said he could see me as his girlfriend and that that was a huge thought as he wants his next gf to be his wife (we’re both 24
It’s just cruel.
My friend has just been ghosted by a man who begged to meet up with her. The second she said yes he vanished and as never heard from again. I swear they just want the satisfaction of a good looking women saying yes.
To add to the fire he texted the other night saying we should sleep together 1 last time for closure!????? Like no no.. just no no boy.
he texted the other night saying we should sleep together 1 last time for closure!????? Like no no.. just no no boy.
I just read the whole thread and was so invested!! Sweetcorn, I'm so glad you made the right decision, you are worth more than some twit who wants to mess you around. I thought I'd share my ghosting story because me and my friends sometimes still laugh about it:
I met a guy through a new friend I'd made through my volunteering work in 2019. We really hit it off when we met and spoke all night at this bar we were at. We exchanged numbers and texted for months talking about what kind of dates we would have, before finally going on an actual date. On the date, he showed up 45 minutes late (!!!) but because we'd met through a mutual friend and had met before and got along I thought "might as well wait because he seemed so cool when we met". He barely spoke for the first half of the date which was SO awkward, but I just thought maybe it's extreme nerves or something. Then he got drunk and started acting as chatty and cool as he had been over text and the first time we met. So basically he couldn't seem to form a sentence whilst sober lol
The date went really well in the end and we made vague plans to do it again. Then the slow freezing out started, which was bizarre because we had ideas for our next date. When I finally texted him after three days silence to set a time and place for a second date, he replied back in a really nasty and blunt way saying I didn't pay for anything the other night, so a second date wouldn't be happening. Even though 1) I had offered to pay for drinks and 2) if it was such a big deal, I would happily have sent him some money.
Needless to say, he never replied, I felt like I had dodged a massive bullet. What upset me the most was the mutual friend we had met through who I really liked hanging out with ghosted me too. Guess they were a group of dickheads, eh?
I met a guy through a new friend I'd made through my volunteering work in 2019. We really hit it off when we met and spoke all night at this bar we were at. We exchanged numbers and texted for months talking about what kind of dates we would have, before finally going on an actual date. On the date, he showed up 45 minutes late (!!!) but because we'd met through a mutual friend and had met before and got along I thought "might as well wait because he seemed so cool when we met". He barely spoke for the first half of the date which was SO awkward, but I just thought maybe it's extreme nerves or something. Then he got drunk and started acting as chatty and cool as he had been over text and the first time we met. So basically he couldn't seem to form a sentence whilst sober lol
The date went really well in the end and we made vague plans to do it again. Then the slow freezing out started, which was bizarre because we had ideas for our next date. When I finally texted him after three days silence to set a time and place for a second date, he replied back in a really nasty and blunt way saying I didn't pay for anything the other night, so a second date wouldn't be happening. Even though 1) I had offered to pay for drinks and 2) if it was such a big deal, I would happily have sent him some money.
Needless to say, he never replied, I felt like I had dodged a massive bullet. What upset me the most was the mutual friend we had met through who I really liked hanging out with ghosted me too. Guess they were a group of dickheads, eh?
Ugh. The audacity!!To add to the fire