Gawd they are on totally different pages aren’t they?! Can totally see Zoe paddle boarding in a heatwave and back packing haha imagine!!
Alfie Deyes #9 The lights are always on, but nobodys home
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So Zoe has chosen the one which has things she's already done.....holiday in Mykonos, BBQ with friends and Harry Style concert.
Alfie wouldn’t pick 3 really, he just thinks that one sounds best for his image.
What in the last decade has actually stopped him from doing any those things? duck all that’s what. Those things don’t need to be a dream for him, they’re things he could do easily. His dream summer would be lounging in front of his camera lisping about GoAlZ and biznish meeteeengz.
I’ll be generous and give him summer 2. The “girls” can be Zoe, mum and Poppy.
What in the last decade has actually stopped him from doing any those things? duck all that’s what. Those things don’t need to be a dream for him, they’re things he could do easily. His dream summer would be lounging in front of his camera lisping about GoAlZ and biznish meeteeengz.
I’ll be generous and give him summer 2. The “girls” can be Zoe, mum and Poppy.
I think he would do the paddle boarding and Glastonbury deffo not backpacking
Yep Zoe bought it him for xmasSpeaking of tit he buys and never does anything with .. who remembers the giant expensive piano that Zoe bought him or did he buy it?
I forget! Pretty sure only the people who come to their house have actually used it!
He’s probably ordering a full set of top of the range paddle boarding gear as we speak
Has he actually planted all those veg they bought weeks ago?
Err NO!
He's just so...physically repulsive. Which, okay, looks aren't everything, but he's got as much charisma as a dirty sock and no personality to make up for it, either.
He’d do Glastonbury if he could duck off to a five star hotel every night to sleepI think he would do the paddle boarding and Glastonbury deffo not backpacking
Yep Zoe bought it him for xmas
Has he ever been to any sort of festival before? I mean it’s not like they’re few and far between and he would struggle to get the cash or time off work or something.
I suppose at least Zoe is truthful, those are things we know she’d enjoy. Alfie just wants all his underage fans to think of him as a cool teen on his gap yah
I suppose at least Zoe is truthful, those are things we know she’d enjoy. Alfie just wants all his underage fans to think of him as a cool teen on his gap yah
More like he wants in on Joe & Dianne's camping trip they are planning to do in their camper van. He probably wants in for the vlog content, as they bring in views & so he can spend days drooling all over Dianne.He is
also probably hoping that if he's interested in yoga & music festivals he will impress Dianne.
Every event is a free event for alfie isn’t it ha
That’s true. He could go to Glastonbury for free and stay in the fancy glamping area like joe did if he wanted. An event like that would blow his tiny mind, and probably terrify him too. He’d be home by Sunday afternoon at the latest. But I can also just imagine him ‘Alfie-stotle-splaining’ this amazing discovery of his - a music festival - to his audience afterwards. Please never go to Glastonbury Alfie.
He wouldn't stop talking about if for the next 3 years
Alfie at any music festival would mean we'd get videos of him miming to songs - NO!
Which office? The one he rented in town, the one him and Zoe got for the team, or the one in his back garden?
Those keyrings hes dropping arnt exactly for his female minions he could have made them black. I mean who wants a naff dad brown leather keyring?
I’m sorry but whoever buys one of them crappy keyrings needs some serious help ASAP and shouldn’t be allowed to handle their own money!
I’d love to know who on gods earth would buy one of those? Who’s his target audience ? How much is he flogging them for? Just why? And he’s preaching about the sustainability and wastage. Just don’t, you can’t you buffoon 
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