Alfie Deyes #12 aka Alfie Davies Trying to get fit but he's still a Tory tit

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Callum12827

I love how Zoe promotes acceptance and body positive vibes all over her socials but then Alfie every day is shaming dad bods/people with a non flat stomach
 
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Chinese_whispers

Chinese_whispers

You know what I’m all for Zoe playing him like a twit. I was really sick when I was pregnant and my ex was absolutely useless. It’s nice to see someone get doted on, even if it’s unnecessary.

plus for all the years he’s treated her like a mug publicly, payback is well overdue.
 
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M

myra1409

jvalentine2189 said:
Totally, and the quote or saying isn't even a good one, either. People should take criticism from random people, because usually the people in your life who you would take advice from won't always be completely honest with you so that they won't hurt your feelings or hurt the friendship or relationship. At least a stranger will usually tell it like it is.
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This is exactly what is wrong with influencers, particularly British ones. They cannot take any form of criticism and pass it off as hate. They consequently end up in a bubble of self-righteousness, believing they're the pinnacle of morality... and becoming generally crappy people. We need outside opinions to help make us better people. No one is 100% right and we need the knowledge of others who have made the same mistakes in order to learn.
 
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StephenTJackson

StephenTJackson

Lilykins said:
Aldo just makes his passive aggressive posts instead 😂
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I feel like I'm definitely one of the people he is aiming his passive aggressive posts at, but I know we are all right about him body shaming. And I'm right to call him out on that.
 
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M

myra1409

CarlyBear94 said:
Why would anyone want to be this when the Tory prick dEsIgNeR can't even take the tacky, overpriced jumper off?
You ain't bleeping SAVAGE Aldo

SHICKKK 🔥🔥
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"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
 
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Lilykins

Lilykins

myra1409 said:
"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
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This is amazing!
 
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Behtannkneeky

Behtannkneeky

myra1409 said:
"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
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Omg, this is great!!!! 😂😂
 
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CarlyBear94

CarlyBear94

myra1409 said:
"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
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I bleeping love this, read it in his voice and everything.

coconochanel said:
Can you remember when he used to say 'I may or may not have' :ROFLMAO:
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Yes, just extra words from his vocabulary.

SHICKKK 🔥🔥
 
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W

Wowwwwwwwww

I really despise the merch pushing. There’s only 6 bleeping GarMeNts that all look the same and a tit bag DwoPpiNg.
Why is goofie banging on like it’s a full bleeping truck worth of variety being released? Get over yourFuTuReself.
 
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F

Fineapple

myra1409 said:
"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
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Academy award winning 🏆
 
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leigh213

leigh213

myra1409 said:
"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
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I’ve just nearly peed myself!!! I heard this in both the voice of Alfie and JackMate simultaneously 🤣🤣🤣 you are so talented 👌👏🏼
 
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