Alfie Deyes #12 aka Alfie Davies Trying to get fit but he's still a Tory tit

[Louise123]

Hello everyone, not commented for a while hope you’re all well.
I’m just so happy Alfie’s finally being recognised as the stud he is....for me it will always be his smile that his most attractive quality. With that in mind I’d like to share a few of my favourite saved photos of Alfie....enjoy

 

[bruised]

how do i delete someone else's post?

 

[Chilli pepper 19]

When are the schools starting back????

Personally I think Zoe and Aldo are couples goals and the most gorgeous and SHICKKK couple ever

 

[StephenTJackson]

i totally agree that he is so annoying and is an absolute knob - what annoys me the most is he refers to the baby as his “daughterrr” and refers to zoe as his girlfriend i’m pretty sure we know who she is. but i find him so sexy and you all can’t deny that he has definitely got hotter with age !

 

[myra1409]

Why would anyone want to be this when the Tory prick dEsIgNeR can't even take the tacky, overpriced jumper off?
You ain't fucking SAVAGE Aldo

SHICKKK

"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.

 

[at-the-disco]

Alfie’s funniest and dumbest moments?? Allow me. Welcome to my ted talk

saying he didnt want to talk about Zoe in his pointless book because “we might break up”
Acting uncomfortable whenever Zoe shows him affection
His parents babying him, For example his dad making him kiss him on the cheek, and his mother referring to themselves as mummy and daddy still
filling random objects with chocolate and buying about 15 bars of dairy milk for it, not wasteful at all alf
Also buying random gadgets which his fans would have to spend money to “diy”, but still labelling the videos DIY even though it lacked any form of creativity
Vlogging at stupid times, like when they were being shown around a museum (?)room and horse decided it was a good time to vlog, even Marcus called him out on it
Telling his fans to STOP TAKING PICTURES of him in restaurants, but it’s also ok cus I love you guys soww muchhhhh
Shouting and screaming in the street when vlogging
Saying cringey things to people like “thankyousamach” instead of just standard thank you.
talking to random people in the street to look quirky
Running around supermarkets and just acting like a twat in public in general “for the vlog”
Encouraging his sister to be a moody brat
Encouraging Zoe’s passive aggressive ways
Obviously the £1 a day video, the whole thing is cringe, I physically folded into myself when he started showing the shit he bought like a BEARD COMB???
Constantly picking up new hobbies and nothing ever amounting from them all the gear no idea springs to mind
Humble bragging ALL THE TIME. “Just texting my mate Jamie Oliver about his recipe”
Starting the most unoriginal, and quite frankly boring podcast just to say he has a podcast. And the guests only being his friends and family
His merch is general is cringe.
Always adding a q&a into his videos but answering the same questions every time


his whole existence is just cringe in general, he is nothing but a consumerist product of society and he adds nothing of value to the world
I’m sure there are more which I will add

 

[addelight]

his body is perfect bite me

he makes me so wet in this top

personal favourite

Omfg what the F is happening in this forum

 

[Chilli pepper 19]

i totally agree that he is so annoying and is an absolute knob - what annoys me the most is he refers to the baby as his “daughterrr” and refers to zoe as his girlfriend i’m pretty sure we know who she is. but i find him so sexy and you all can’t deny that he has definitely got hotter with age !

Is this the first positive post we've ever had here. I'm not sure what to do with this but I think you might need to take the blindfold off

 

[sweatybetty5678]

I couldn’t help myself…

 

[StephenTJackson]

Jesus wept, Aldo at it again. He's really triggering to people with a eating disorder.

#idontwantadadbod

SHICKKK

He is actually body shaming men and it's pretty damn disgusting.

I never realised it until you referred to EDs, but he is definitely body shaming.

 

[Lilykins]

I just love Aldie’s thread - 100% pure dislike.

 

[lemondaze]

Ooooh are we talking about our fave alfdie moments.
mine was when he thought he saw the northern lights in his garden (it was obviously the Brighton light show) and documented it on his story aahahHAHHA

 

[sitesorestrictive]

A little late here but I just skimmed his first trimester video and oh boy is there a lot to unpack:

• "I've never seen a video like this from the partner's perspective" Yeah that's because litcherally no one cares. You aren't doing anything...how narcissistic can you be? This is about on the same level as the 1 pound video in terms of having -1000 awareness.
• He sounds like he's talking to 12 year olds when mentioning sex..."it's not like in the moviezzz guyzzzz!!!!"
• So....did he finish in Zoe 3 times? Is that what the terrible baseball analogy was supposed to be? This analogy just confirmed they never had sex until they wanted to get pregnant
• "wHaT dO yOu Do WhEn YoU'rE PrEgNaNt??! Do I CaLl mY mUm???"
• He talks like Scamella is the first woman to ever be pregnant
• Oh thank GOD I don't have to throw an extravagant pregnancy announcement. I thought that was a requirement or the baby wouldn't pop out. Thanks for clearing that up Alfistotle! SO wise and smart!
• "I'm so famous...I've done chats in front of 17,000 people"
• Couldn't take it anymore and clicked off the video

I cannot wait to see this train wreck commence. Feel terrible for the baby but at least it'll be able to call the inevitable nanny, mum!

 

[ligmabumholebabes]

i totally agree that he is so annoying and is an absolute knob - what annoys me the most is he refers to the baby as his “daughterrr” and refers to zoe as his girlfriend i’m pretty sure we know who she is. but i find him so sexy and you all can’t deny that he has definitely got hotter with age !

 

[GossWhore]

Wtf is he on about.. he's never working so forever flexing

 

[Snackella]

The baby isn't due for another month, but Alfie is already on paternity leave?

Also celebrates paternity leave by .. spending time with his "boys" instead of Zoe?

 

[Snackella]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOOOOOOSE

 

[Teanbishcuits]

“For her ZERO birthday”, bro whut?

 

[paigelemonade]

why did it make me laugh so much that caspar lee put ‘Alfie Deyes’ woodland’ as an option as to where he was going as if it’s some sort of iconic place

 

[Callum12827]

I’m a graphic designer for many years and I find it hilarious he couldn’t even hire a designer to create this basic Microsoft font design.

The letter spacing is appalling, see how some letters touch, some are close, some not. This is a huge no no in the design world, every graphic designer knows this. Such a simple design and he can’t even get that right.