A place for ranting/whinging

[Universal]

Help to Buy

For anyone struggling with a deposit to but a house. This is a government scheme to help with costs and get you on the housing ladder.

 

[WilmaHun]

I think I’ve already replied to you about something like this before but just wanted to say again - please please don’t worry! I know it can come across so patronising when someone older says “oh but you’re so young” and I don’t mean it like that at all, but you really have nothing to worry about! Life isn’t a race, this year has put a spanner in the works for most people! You’re 25 and in a long term relationship, in a position to buy a house - that is much further along than a lot of people your age and older. Just enjoy the moment if you can, I know it’s easier said than done. I’d love to be 25 again and I’m only 32

In regards to living at his mums, that does sound horrible not to have any privacy. I know you are hoping to buy but would you consider renting maybe for a 6 month contract? I know this will eat into your savings and deposit but I think for your sanity and peace of mind it would be worth it. Plus it’ll probably help you feel a little more “on track”.

Thank you so much for your reply. I am trying to think about it less and be grateful for what I do have but I always have this niggle in the back of my mind telling me I'm not where I should be.

I did bring up the option of renting to my partner and he completely shut me down. His argument was that it's taken us this long to get the deposit, he's not willing to waste it paying someone elses mortgage for them, I do kind of see his point but at the same time would be nice to feel like I have my own home even if it's not technically mine.

 

[Mulholland Drive]

I was reading in the Telegraph this morning, how shop workers in England are being attacked by aggressive customers when they're asked to wear masks and observe social distancing while shopping.

As if store staff don't have enough to worry about, they have to contend with this tit!

Surely this isn't in their job description, and why aren't the supermarket owners employing security staff to deal with crap instead?

 

[Days28]

I have a whinge.
Went back to work last week after a year off unpaid (having ivf then the pandemic hit), my boss has always treat my differently to the rest of the team (far more tetchy and demanding with me).
I had requested 4 days at school as a key worker for our child however when boris announced the lockdown my boss rang and said I would only be doing1 day in the office due to distancing so I cancelled 3 of the 4 days with the school.
gone into work yesterday and she was ‘on one’ - shouted over the desks at me ‘I need you in 4 days a week from now’ so I’ve rang childs school and they don’t have the capacity until after half term as everyone is bubbled up.

Boss has moved me to a different building (same site) To work - a break out area to be precise so she can have more space in the office, it doesn’t even have a computer chair - so uncomfortable & I’m 11 weeks pregnant (which she knows about).

I’m absolutely furious about it

Need to ring her today to tell her I can only do 2 days on site until after half term & that I need a computer chair provided.

a colleague pulled me yesterday and commented that she treats me differently (the way she speaks, demands etc).

We’ve been so desperate for this baby - my last one and I feel like
I’m going to spend my pregnancy totally isolated & miserable. Rant over (unless she’s a twit when I ring this morning in which case I’ll be back on)

 

[WilmaHun]

I have a whinge.
Went back to work last week after a year off unpaid (having ivf then the pandemic hit), my boss has always treat my differently to the rest of the team (far more tetchy and demanding with me).
I had requested 4 days at school as a key worker for our child however when boris announced the lockdown my boss rang and said I would only be doing1 day in the office due to distancing so I cancelled 3 of the 4 days with the school.
gone into work yesterday and she was ‘on one’ - shouted over the desks at me ‘I need you in 4 days a week from now’ so I’ve rang childs school and they don’t have the capacity until after half term as everyone is bubbled up.

Boss has moved me to a different building (same site) To work - a break out area to be precise so she can have more space in the office, it doesn’t even have a computer chair - so uncomfortable & I’m 11 weeks pregnant (which she knows about).

I’m absolutely furious about it

Need to ring her today to tell her I can only do 2 days on site until after half term & that I need a computer chair provided.

a colleague pulled me yesterday and commented that she treats me differently (the way she speaks, demands etc).

We’ve been so desperate for this baby - my last one and I feel like
I’m going to spend my pregnancy totally isolated & miserable. Rant over (unless she’s a twit when I ring this morning in which case I’ll be back on)

That's horrendous! Do you have a HR dept you could talk to? Sounds like your boss has some sort of vendetta!

 

[tskiry56]

This is a weird one as I feel like saying I told you so but my ex’s ex partner found my sister on fb and wanted to talk to me.
In the end she ended up talking to my partner as I didn’t really want to get involved or trust her.
She got involved with my ex when he was still trying to win me back after years of domestic violence and one final incident. I ended up pressing charges and he was charged with ABH and I have an indefinite restating order.
He didn’t see my son for over a year which then resulted in going to court for about 2 years. He had supervised visits now he sees him once a fortnight for 24 hours.
She often messages asking if he lied to me or if he did this or was he like that!?
I want to say more fool you he is a domestic abuser a manipulator... it’s like she don’t believe what I went through and that I made it all up!

 

[Days28]

That's horrendous! Do you have a HR dept you could talk to? Sounds like your boss has some sort of vendetta!

We just have a HR person - I work at a school (finance) and it’s really small and Clique, I’ve rang her this morning and told her I can do 2 days on site but the rest will be from home - am waiting for her to say yes or no I’ve got total heebie jeebies over it!

 

[petitspois]

We just have a HR person - I work at a school (finance) and it’s really small and Clique, I’ve rang her this morning and told her I can do 2 days on site but the rest will be from home - am waiting for her to say yes or no I’ve got total heebie jeebies over it!

So, as it's public sector, they will be very mindful of any complaints you could make on this - particularly as you are protected in employment law as you are pregnant. I would complain in writing to HR and then also raise it with your local authority HR team too. They could always move you to a new school after your maternity leave.

Make a note of all the instances of her behaviour being an issue so you have a record.

 

[Days28]

So, as it's public sector, they will be very mindful of any complaints you could make on this - particularly as you are protected in employment law as you are pregnant. I would complain in writing to HR and then also raise it with your local authority HR team too. They could always move you to a new school after your maternity leave.

Make a note of all the instances of her behaviour being an issue so you have a record.

Thankyou for replying, I’ll log all of this in my diary so I have dates etc and a proper record x

 

[ProphecyGirl]

Fed up of this lockdown like everyone else. I live on my own and it's just so draining, I am trying to put on a brave face but it's just so hard. I have tried to reach out but at the same time I don't wanna lay my problems on other people and feel needy but I am just so sad.

Everyone comes to me with their problems.. big or small and I will do everything in my power to help that person but I feel like I don't get same back from anyone, not that I expect it at all. I just give more love than I receive

I am also sick of being single and wasting time on people who hurt me, I don't know if I am too nice or too gullible but I just want to find someone and settle down and feel like it will never happen.....

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

The school rang earlier to query why my eldest child in particular hasn’t been ‘attending’ the online live lessons. After explaining my reasons (crappy laptop, clashes with other child’s lessons, doesn’t fit in with our own daily routine, I could go on) all they said was to try and get them on at least once a day. Not a huge ask I’ll admit but it still pissed me off because just last week, the HT was going on about not putting too much pressure on ourselves and not doing ‘too much’. That even doing one small activity is enough if that’s all you can manage on that day, no pressure etc. My kids have done almost every piece of work they’ve sent, why isn’t that enough???

We have just got into the swing of things and although unconventional by school standards our routine is, or was working for us. tit was getting done and I was keeping it together. I am on my own most of the day so all this home learning, as well as the cooking and cleaning falls to me, I was actually starting to think I was getting to grips with it all but after that phone call I’m having a wobble and am currently sitting in my bedroom eating chocolate and trying not to cry when I should be HS my youngest. That phone call hasn’t helped anyone at all.

 

[Belulah]

Thank you so much for your reply. I am trying to think about it less and be grateful for what I do have but I always have this niggle in the back of my mind telling me I'm not where I should be.

I did bring up the option of renting to my partner and he completely shut me down. His argument was that it's taken us this long to get the deposit, he's not willing to waste it paying someone elses mortgage for them, I do kind of see his point but at the same time would be nice to feel like I have my own home even if it's not technically mine.

I think it’s totally different living with your own mum then someone else’s. I would never feel at home in any kind of set up.
My twin sister is going to turn 30 in March in her dream home with her fiancé and little girl. They are planning on trying for baby #2- I’m turning 30 as a spinster living in my mums spare room! I know the pain of being really happy for someone but also wishing you were where they are in life!

 

[Pixipoppy]

Thank you so much for your reply. I am trying to think about it less and be grateful for what I do have but I always have this niggle in the back of my mind telling me I'm not where I should be.

I did bring up the option of renting to my partner and he completely shut me down. His argument was that it's taken us this long to get the deposit, he's not willing to waste it paying someone elses mortgage for them, I do kind of see his point but at the same time would be nice to feel like I have my own home even if it's not technically mine.

I think you’re being too hard on yourself. There isn’t anywhere you should be at any age. This is your life and not anyone else’s, and you have many many years ahead to make it what you want Like I said before it isn’t a race, enjoy the time you have before children as you’ll never be this free and well rested again!

Does your partner know how miserable you’re finding it living with his mum? It’s one thing to live with your own parents but to move in with someone else’s is damn hard! Not wanting to be pessimistic but the process of buying a house can sometimes take 6-8 months, surely he must see this can’t continue for that long? I know he feels renting is throwing money away but he needs to weigh up the benefits it will have. You can’t put a price on mental health and well-being after all!

 

[lemonlime]

ED relapse. Trying not to feel furious/sorry for myself but this was not how I wanted to end my work day lol.

 

[HideTheHunter]

Gonna have a rant about online shopping. So 4 items were unavailable from Asda, but they still charged an extra £17 for the stuff that was missing. They sent an amended receipt, but the original (full shopping price) still came off the bank! Trying to get through to claim the "refund" is a nightmare - I mean, gods sake.....how hard is it to fix the amended total instead of having to jump through hoops to get money back off them for stuff they didn't give you in the first place?? They should hold the money until the final total is sorted, THEN go to the bank. I'm going elsewhere - bad enough having to deal with online shopping as it is, without this crap. Fuming.

 

[SavvyBee]

Gonna have a rant about online shopping. So 4 items were unavailable from Asda, but they still charged an extra £17 for the stuff that was missing. They sent an amended receipt, but the original (full shopping price) still came off the bank! Trying to get through to claim the "refund" is a nightmare - I mean, gods sake.....how hard is it to fix the amended total instead of having to jump through hoops to get money back off them for stuff they didn't give you in the first place?? They should hold the money until the final total is sorted, THEN go to the bank. I'm going elsewhere - bad enough having to deal with online shopping as it is, without this crap. Fuming.

That’s exactly what Tesco does, charge you once they know what you’re getting. What a faff. I cannot bare systems and procedures that are unnecessarily complicated.

Today’s whinge is how the F am I supposed to buy a sofa when no sofa shops are open.Seen delivery times are 4 months ish for any of the ones I like the look of and we’re going to be moving in around that time so I haven’t got time to wait for the shops to open which is looking like it’ll be March earliest! Serious first world problem but I am tired and hormonal today and sofa issues are a distraction from my boring job!

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Sorry this is probably nothing to some people and I know we are lucky to be complaining about such a situation but we were meant to go to Glastonbury last year for our honeymoon. Planned on trying for a baby once we had been. Anyway, obviously it’s been cancelled again and postponed til next year. That now means if we try for a baby now then we will have to leave a very small baby when we go. I don’t want to delay having a baby but I just feel so stressed because equally (selfishly) I don’t want to miss Glastonbury cos I know it’ll be a once in a lifetime thing, especially after covid. I just know people are gonna judge me (and I’ll probably secretly judge myself )

 

[HideTheHunter]

That’s exactly what Tesco does, charge you once they know what you’re getting. What a faff. I cannot bare systems and procedures that are unnecessarily complicated.

Today’s whinge is how the F am I supposed to buy a sofa when no sofa shops are open.Seen delivery times are 4 months ish for any of the ones I like the look of and we’re going to be moving in around that time so I haven’t got time to wait for the shops to open which is looking like it’ll be March earliest! Serious first world problem but I am tired and hormonal today and sofa issues are a distraction from my boring job!

Tesco it is then! Cheers for that. Still haven't got through to Asda.....wonder how many other customers they have scammed with this.
Regarding your sofa - have you tried Ikea? They even have a van service so if you know someone who drives, you can get it and take it home with you as soon as. https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/customer-service/services/delivery/

 

[SavvyBee]

Tesco it is then! Cheers for that. Still haven't got through to Asda.....wonder how many other customers they have scammed with this.
Regarding your sofa - have you tried Ikea? They even have a van service so if you know someone who drives, you can get it and take it home with you as soon as. https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/customer-service/services/delivery/

Thanks! Have an IKEA sofa in the rental we are in now and it’s awful, has put me off! May just have to take a gamble on something that looks comfy!

 

[Kim Mild]

We've ended up in a really unproductive routine. Im so tired in the morning because I've been up with the little one for ages in the night .I find it hard to get up in the morning been setting alarm for 8:30 . Other kids aren't early risers either, older has home school and gets up at the last minute but still needs to be in the bathroom and so does the rest of us. Then little one naps and we are ready for lunch so they are eating at mid afternoon . Good job we don't need to be anywhere.

However, it's a long day if we get up too early.