2021 Weddings

[Inforapenny]

I think I’ve buried my head in the sand with regards to a lot and made excuses about waiting until after Christmas, waiting until they contact us etc. People have tried to give advice but it’s not always that easy when you’re the person that’s poured hours and hours of time into planning. I think I need a spokesperson to speak on my behalf

I know my other half would take the role and I’ve always said no before because I didn’t want any bad feelings between us and the venue, but now we’re leaning more towards just cancelling and making alternative plans, I don’t mind as much!

I really do think I’d feel happier just us and the kids doing a very small thing.

@Barbie2020 we had California booked too and things over there do not look great at all do they?!

Get your partner to be the spokesman. I did this with my boyfriend. I couldn't face it.
He asked me for a list of people and things he needed to do to postpone our wedding and off he went and did it. It made everything slightly easier.
He is also very easy going whereas I would panic and get stressed.

 

[bellinibobble]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies earlier I do feel better for a vent. I definitely think family/friends are not asking in order to reduce our stress, but it does make me feel a bit lonely in the situation.

Thankfully we aren’t under any pressure re starting a family, so there’s no good reason that we can’t delay, and we are lucky to have fantastic planners who will take all the stress of the associated wedmin. I just need to get over the feeling that I’m being frivolous in wanting to wait for the wedding I’d envisioned, and realise that it’ll be worth the wait. We have been together since I was 17 - waiting a year is frustrating but it’s nothing in the grand scheme of our relationship

Thanks again for listening to me rant

Really annoys me when people are like oh you want a big wedding then! No I don’t just want the people I love and talk to there and for it to be a celebration. Not after Westminster abbey and live coverage over the bbc

THIS IS SUCH A MOOD Preach!! Made me actually smile for the first time today haha

 

[Chocolatelover123]

I want zero at it!

Just tell them it’s your wedding day! Are you getting married this year? I would honestly use covid as an excuse to keep numbers to adults as you could be restricted

 

[HoGi]

I think indoors hospitality starts in May too?

The more I read the details, I think the ruling on weddings is appalling. 10,000 in a football stadium is fine (sharing toilets, queuing for food, using all the same entrances and exits) but only 30 for weddings? At the very least it should be capacity based on the venue’s space. I feel so sorry for couples with dates before 21 June.

Totally agree. I don't see how the risk for 10,000 in Wembley travelling by public transport etc. is the same as 30 at a wedding?

It should be down to each venue and, like the restrictions on large indoor venues cinemas/theatres etc, it should be a percentage of their capacity.

 

[bellinibobble]

Hi everyone, signing in as I wondered if there was a 2021 brides thread!

We are meant to be getting married abroad in September, we were sub 30 guests from the start so I’m really hoping we manage it. I’m very head in the sand about it at the moment.. it does help to have fantastic planners though who are beating most of the stress. We have been engaged a couple of years and together forever, since I was 18 and I’m nearly 30 now so I’m desperate for us to be married

 

[Prgirl_cesca]

I was supposed to be married august 2020 , now it’s august 2021 , we have been engaged for 3 years together for 7 , all the fun has gone from the wedding I don’t even think I want to get married august 2021 , I think I would much rather just go away the two of us and do it that way , the thing that’s stopping me cancelling is deposits - we have spent ALOT of money on deposits for everything venue : florist : hair : make up : cake etc etc etc my dress is paid in full . I really don’t no what to do I feel I don’t want my wedding anymore as I can’t see it being the way I wanted it to be and all the fun had been wiped from it , but I also can’t comprehend loosing a few thousand we have paid out in deposits and then the few thousand that my dress cost , it’s a lot of money to be waisted

Definitely consider having a micro wedding. Your suppliers will cost less (obviously apart from the dress) and you won't lose the deposits. You can keep all your existing suppliers and have a very small wedding. Maybe discuss with your venue closer to the time?

I did some micro weddings last year (some were 120 people originally and went ahead with 15) and they were SOOOOOO lovely. I have been a coordinator for a very long time (over a decade) and it was some of the nicest weddings I have ever had.

Definitely look into what your venue can host size wise rather than go to the register office if you can! You still get the beautiful photography that you probably booked the venue for.

 

[Barbie2020]

Why can’t you have a party after?
Receptions have been happening since last year with the same current restrictions

you have to stay seated and not allowed to dance.

 

[Rodney2208]

I lost my shit with my future MIL last night as she was going on and on how they won’t have their vaccination before our wedding (June 5th and we are going ahead regardless) they are 64 and would be the next priority group

 

[TicketyTock]

I was supposed to be married august 2020 , now it’s august 2021 , we have been engaged for 3 years together for 7 , all the fun has gone from the wedding I don’t even think I want to get married august 2021 , I think I would much rather just go away the two of us and do it that way , the thing that’s stopping me cancelling is deposits - we have spent ALOT of money on deposits for everything venue : florist : hair : make up : cake etc etc etc my dress is paid in full . I really don’t no what to do I feel I don’t want my wedding anymore as I can’t see it being the way I wanted it to be and all the fun had been wiped from it , but I also can’t comprehend loosing a few thousand we have paid out in deposits and then the few thousand that my dress cost , it’s a lot of money to be waisted

 

[Barbie2020]

I’m so gutted for everyone! I’ve just messaged the venue and they got back to me really quick. They have the 26th June available which is only the week after. Knowing my luck they would just delay the restrictions again but I’m just seeing if the suppliers could maybe do that date.

I’m imagining it will still be the 19th though. It’s bloody horrible and stressful.

One positive is my partner is happy that he should get some sort of stag now

No just back and forth constantly, it’s exhausting! I am hopeful we will have a small wedding this year though. I don’t know where or when, but I’m determined to get married

Keep us updated on yours. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Your wedding will be lovely and you will be doing it for the right reasons, to get married! I feel a bit of a sell out trying to change dates but I’d rather try than not. If i know we can’t change then 30 people it is.

 

[Northeast1988]

You can have a reception but everybody must stay seated and have table service .. and no getting up and dancing or mixing tables ..

Yea I know as that’s what we had but you can still get creative and there’s plenty of activities and games you can do

Our venue did say dancing is banned so there won’t be a dance floor but we can’t stop you from dancing around the table where you are seated

We also had diff seating plans for the day time meal and the evening meal so people were seated with diff people during the day so at least it got to mix them up

 

[nbt]

@Barbie2020 @Prgirl_cesca @bolimepipi

Thank you for your replies.

The legal wording from the CMA says that they can claim reasonable costs as Prgirl will obviously know and advised. I expected our conversation to be “okay, we can offer you X amount of money back” and then we’d go from there with negotiations. However, we were completely shut down. We’re pretty confident that it’ll come out good for us in the end. The CMA advise that where a wedding cannot go ahead as intended, the contract becomes “frustrated” which means that it cannot go ahead or it will be drastically different.

I think what they’re doing, is clinging on to the fact that at the moment, our date is not under restrictions and so they’re clinging onto whatever they can. However, we would have to come out of lockdown and have NO tiers for the weddings to go ahead. Even T1/2 was restricted to 15 people in England.

I just want to make a point now, that I really do feel for anyone in the industry. They’re having to have horrible conversations and it can’t be easy. Whatever I say isn’t personal and I hate that we’re all in this situation. However, I don’t feel like our venue are doing themselves any favours at all.

 

[ilikelamp]

I want zero at it!

 

[TJ90]

How do you let everyone know politely it's an adult only wedding?

Adults only on the invite - that’s how we did it

 

[Barbie2020]

The guests I’ve spoken to are really excited some have been booked hair and make up appointments etc. They are probably more excited then us as we have it in the back of ours minds something will change

I know what you mean though it is a big jump, I’ve not spoken to all our guests so there may be some that don’t feel comfortable coming. I know some people who were worried last year are a lot more comfortable as they’ve already had their vaccines so feel safer mixing. But I guess that won’t be everyone

We are going to send our invites out soon and as long as people are honest and say they don’t feel comfortable coming I wouldn’t mind. I’d just be mad if they say they want to go and at the last minute decided against it

 

[Barbie2020]

I thought about you on the day, the bride at my wedding that day also looked like your avatar so I wondered if it was actually you at one point

The weather was gorgeous where I am too! Congratulations, so glad you went ahead xxx

aww thank you so much! Only just seen this. We had a lovely day it didn’t really feel like there were any restrictions tbh I don’t really look similar to my avatar anymore (different hair colour)

I hope work is starting to get back to normal for you now! Fantastic news that it should all be completely restriction free soon

I don’t know where else to post this but I got married recently and can’t help feeling disappointed with the day, is this normal? I think where I planned it all I knew where things went wrong (namely with the serving staff) so I’m angry about that. All of my guests had a great day though, I just can’t help overthinking all the negatives

omg I’m exactly the same! We had a really lovely day, everyone said they had such a good time afterwards but I’m just worrying about if it was rubbish, some things they went wrong. I’m worried I didn’t manage to speak to people enough and just loads of little niggles. Even though it was a lovely day and felt like it went perfect I can’t stop worrying and don’t have that amazing happy feeling it’s so strange. Im glad it’s not just me who feels that way

 

[Chocolatelover123]

Ah I’m so glad there are other people still going ahead with their weddings around the same time! Everyone I know IRL has postponed to next year. I’m the same with numbers - 15 is easy, 30 means leaving some partners off the guest list who we’ve known for a long time and is more stress. I think even 40 would be a perfect situation for us and anything above is a bonus.

I’ve got the table plan etc in my Etsy basket ready to check out. We have a sweet cart and we’re planning a diy photo booth. I’d still like the sweet
cart as it’s cute and the woman who owns it is lovely and has really worked hard at her business.

I understand the negativity. I’ve got a cousin who’s postponed her wedding for next year. She was trying to push me to postpone mine but we were happy to have the smaller wedding if we had to. Now she’s being bitchy and negative about my wedding cos she got engaged first and wanted to get married before me

@bellinibobble Wed2B have really lovely dresses. Depending on when you go to look could you maybe email some local alteration shops? Just so you’ve got an appointment ready for when you’ve bought the dress. There were lots of people who book last minute weddings before Covid and get last minute dresses so try not to worry! I’d try and start losing however much weight you want to lose now so you know the the dress will feel

Arh yes it is so nice we postponed from last year to this year so definitely are not posting again. The stress itself is enough

I had the same unfortunately one of my partner groomsmen wife to be is like that. They’ve postponed from this year to next and I think she makes digs to convince herself she has done the right thing. Everyone is different it’s each to their own

I also have a massive wish list on Etsy

 

[nbt]

It’s so difficult still to think about how things might be.

Our date is still booked for the first week of April. It won’t be going ahead as we’re trying to cancel but keeping hitting a brick wall with our venue, who want to retain half of our money for it NOT going ahead. I just feel like I have so much information in my head, it’s going to explode.

We’re thinking of asking them to calculate our costs based on 6 of us wedding only (which is all it could be on that date). We wouldn’t go through with it, but it’s bound to be a lower cost than what they want to currently retain. We just know it won’t be as easy as that though, they’ll find a way somehow to argue.

And then there’s the question of where we actually go from here. I think I still want a smallish wedding, but later in the year when there are no restrictions. I’m lying awake at night thinking about it... and yet I don’t know why, because we can’t do anything until we receive our money back anyway.

 

[Chocolatelover123]

Yep agree with everything you’ve just said hope that works @Rodney2208 @Barbie2020 saves me quoting you both! Ha
Everything I have left to do all depends on numbers or restrictions
Cake -don’t know how many people
Seating plan/place cards- no idea what will be allowed or how many
Sweet stand- we were going to do our own not even sure if that will be allowed or again how many for
So stuck kind of feels like it will be a mass panic my only concern is everyone will be having the same mass panic

I also muted all the Facebook bride groups found that helped a lot. If I want to search for something I can but don’t see any posts

i did try to work out a guest list for 30,15 I found easy but 30 god me and my other half started arguing about who took priority. So blissfully ignoring that until we need to cross that bridge, I feel like enough stress is on us without worrying about that.

after my meltdown last week I’ve not come to terms with what will be will be but we WILL be getting married this year. That has helped me focus a bit more (diet wise) and want to try and enjoy the run up as much as possible. The few people I’ve mentioned that to are also more positive about it asking questions etc I think people were worried before so just avoided the topic full stop

 

[Barbie2020]

We’ve postponed our wedding from October 2020, to March 2021 and now to October 2022! People who are still going ahead in June/July, are you still going to go ahead with your original number of guests? Going from having 30 or less to unlimited is a massive jump. I worry that lots of guests may not feel as though going to a huge wedding right after the restrictions have been lifted is a good idea. I know I wouldn’t...it’s so hard

We’ve changed ours from 19th June to the 26th. Hoping they won’t delay then 21st date now we’ve changed. It is strange how you can go from one day to only having 30 to then unlimited. I know most people who I’ve told are really excited for our wedding and still want to go but it might still be 30 anyway. It’s so hard knowing what to do. Damn Covid.