childfree by choice : Most liked Posts

Aliali23 said:

If one doesn’t like to be judged for not having kids, why so many judgey comments about people that do have kids We should just let everyone make their own choices without the judging. I used to wonder how people could even think about not having children (until I had my own And realised what a sacrifice it was) and I never saw it as rude to ask, but I’ve educated myself and would now never ask someone those questions anymore

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I don’t make any comments towards people with kids. On the other hand I’ve been told that my life isn’t complete, that I’m not part of a family, I’ll regret it, I won’t have anyone to look after me when I’m old, I’m not a real woman. Need I go on?

I was chatting to our head of dept last week and saying about my husbands Star Wars collectibles room (not toy room like I called it once ) and how it is rapidly needing a bigger space and she suggested I had a child so that we could focus on something more sensible and worthwhile! Um no thanks love, I was so pissed off with her I booked a 2 week holiday to South America because I can

I was reading a thread here the other day about how much people are spending on their kids for Christmas and Betty Crockerr was telling someone they were spending too much it’s true though someone was saying £800 EACH on a 2 year old and 6 year old. More money than sense! If I had kids I would not be spending a grand on presents they’ll be bored of by next year, no child needs that much stuff.

Anyway I actually came to post this as I thought everyone would appreciate it…

Small rant but I know childfree people will understand. Been working at my current job for the last couple of years. My boss became pregnant so off she went on mat leave for a year, came back late last year, working 3 days a week which will go up to 4 days when the kid is in nursery.

It's a shambles. Taking Mondays off is strongly discouraged because "Jane doesn't work Mondays and we can't have too many people off" but she chose not to work Mondays (or Thursdays), which happens to be our busiest day of the week. Say it's Wednesday and you need her to sign something off but can't get hold of her because she's stuck in meetings. Then she's off on Thursday! Back on Friday, again stuck in meetings with emails piling up and then... she's off until Tuesday!

Everyone else in the team works 5 days a week, her job is ultimately a 5 day a week role too as she's senior but it just does not work as 3 days per week. Except you can't ever say that. It causes so many bottlenecks with things dragging on or not being signed off because she's simply not around enough. And of course the endless family emergencies, leaving early or starting late due to her kid, and so on... and it's the people without kids who end up picking up the slack.

Blond3g1rl said:

BIB - that’s life though, it is uncomfortable, we can’t have everything our own way. Unfortunately some people, due to being told yes throughout their childhood, then face massive issues when they enter the workplace and are told no for the first time.

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Yup totally agree. Had this fairly recently at work. Young lad, first "real job", was at the company for 12 ish weeks, spent over 10 weeks on the sick. Came back for a few days, then on the Friday just decided he was going home as he was "Ill". When he was let go due to never being at work, he started yelling and shouting about "corporate greed", how was he going to pay his rent, he didn't want to look for another job, we didn't care about him and his welfare etc. then refused to leave the building...

can guarantee that someone has been wiping his arse, never been told no and no boundaries in place. And this is the result. Brilliant!

Calabria said:

Plus I like my lie ins too much! And being able to do things on a whim! And being able to go out for dinner reservations that aren’t at half past five so they can get home for bedtime! And peace and quiet! Grown up time! Disposable income! No nappies!

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I explain to people that I finish work at 5pm, I go home, I cook (or I don't if I don't fancy it), I sit on my fat arse on the sofa and I don't move again till bedtime. No one demands anything of me. No one asks me to do anything, occasionally I will get a spurt of energy and do something, but mostly I just relax till I am tired enough to go to bed, where I sleep soundly till my alarm goes off at 7am and I get ready for work and leave the house.

Typical parent - home from work, cooks, makes lunches, irons uniforms, cleans up, does homework, plays with the kids, usually deals with a fight / tantrum / issue, battles through bathtime, bedtime stories etc. and then collapses in a heap on the sofa at about 10pm. Gets up at 6am and starts all over again!

Anyone choosing the second scenario needs to question their own sanity imho!

Millais said:

Does anyone else feel exhausted that every ‘extravagance’ no matter how minor gets commented on by parents? “Did you say you set up your Nectar points to convert to Avios? That’s a bit FANCY. I SHOP at LIDL. And I FLY on RYANAIR. I have CHILDREN so I CANNOT go to SAINSBURY’S. And you have COUPONS on the APP for COUSCOUS? If I had the app I would get coupons for chicken DINOSAURS instead” Like ok? I’ve only bought enough couscous to get me to Brussels, I’m not going all Supermarket Sweep here. Just sit down and eat your dinosaurs.

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GOD FORBID you do something terribly normal like get your hair done. I have a day off work next week and I’m using it to get some fresh highlights and I was treated like Marie Antoinette telling them to eat cake in the office because all of their days off are taken up by childcare. Ok babe sorry you haven’t had a bleach and tone since 2004 but some of us have disposable income

I’m already so bored of my colleagues moaning about how expensive Christmas is with kids. I could not care less tbh. You chose to have more people in your life to buy stuff for, and you also don’t actually have to spend several hundred quid on a 1 year old who isn’t going to remember it. Give a shit?

underwhelmed1985 said:

So it’s fine to have adult only places? But not child only places? Seems a bit double standards?

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Yes, yes it is. As mentioned previously I would pay extra pretty much everywhere I go to avoid having to deal with children. The best example being hotels/holidays... I'm just waiting for the opportunity to book adults-only flights after my supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience was ruined by two feral brats.

Imaging being on Tattle, seeing a board called 'Childfree by Choice' and taking the time to comment when you have kids already. Haven't you got some snotty noses you should be wiping instead or are your kids just shoved in front of a noisy iPad this afternoon?

I actually can’t think of anything worse than having a child.

Blond3g1rl said:

Don’t know if you’re on mumsnet but they have recently opened a new child free board.

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Thank you, I am but I have no interested in it due to it being on mumsnet.
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daydreamer95 said:

If parents come here and become combative or nasty towards views or ppl here can totally understand it’s not welcome

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This is the last I am going to say on this, purely as we have been here before. But I do not believe, as a parent you can actively contribute to a childfree conversation. We do not share the same mindset, nor life experiences.

pinkmug said:

I will never understand being childfree meaning being selfish. You want a mini-me that you can dress in puffy dresses and bows for your own entertainment and nobody calls you selfish, Susan?? I don't want kids because I don't like them and I know I'll be a shit parent. Nobody asks the kids if they want to be in this world, they are created exclusively according to the decisions of adults. If anything, being CF should win me a medal. Honestly, some people...

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It's also only childfree women that get called selfish. Society rarely calls childfree men selfish.

Nothing has solidified my childfree stance more than a parent who parked themselves on this thread a few weeks back and when she was quite rightly told where to go, she said she would leave as she “didn’t want to cramp our style” like it’s 1996 if that’s what parenthood does to you I want no part in it

Ugh yes, their comments were making my skin crawl like how they said they couldn’t wait to have a ‘mini me’ they could dress up

In other childfree discussions, I’ve seen people mention that a lot of men just want the ‘Kodak moments’. In other words all the ‘special’ moments you’d see in a Kodak ad, like blowing out the candles on their first birthday cake, teaching them to ride a bike, sending them off to their first day of school etc. But they don’t actually want to deal with any of the real shit that comes with having a child. And I really agree. It’s easy for these men to say they want 5 kids as if it’s nothing…but the reality

soph30 said:

I’m going to write a list like this about my cat and see if anyone gives a fuck

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I really don’t think people should be giving out all this info about their children. Partially because children deserve privacy the same as adults do and partially because I think it’s dangerous.

I shouldn’t be able to go on someone’s social media and see what their kid looks like, their name, their grans name, their favourite food and colour, their hobby, their favourite sweets, where in the house their bedroom is, that they love peppa pig, what they eat at McDonald’s etc. I could go to them and say hi Theo, mummy and grandma Sheila asked me to pick you up and take you for a cheeseburger at McDonald’s and a kitkat because they’ve had to take your dog Henry to the vet but we’ll have you home in your bluey pajamas watching peppa pig as soon as possible ok? And the kid will just come with me because how would I know everything about them and their house and family and favourite food and everything if I didn’t know mummy? ‍

Just been watching David Attenborough’s documentary “A life on our planet”. He basically says that the world is going majorly downhill from 2030 and that the world will be grim by 2080! I was born in the 90’s so that’s cheery! More reasons to not have kids!

he also says that if we stop the population growth, basically by having less kids, we can reverse it. So us childfree folk are doing everyone a favour!

I'm currently on holiday, the hotel itself isn't adults only but we are in an adults only block and 6/8 pools are adults only.

The amount of parents taking their kids to the adults only pools is a joke. Thankfully the lifeguard tells them to move on, but they all huff and puff about it. The entitlement drips off them.

There is a waterpark and 2 pools specifically for kids as well as a huge beach. But nooooo they want the adult only spaces

Saw this and thought immediately of this thread

Small moan from me today…I hate it when parents assume we’re all fine to travel somewhere early for work or start earlier for work because they’re a parent so they’re used to getting up at what I would call an obscene time. Had colleagues who are all parents saying today ‘there’s a train at 6:30 so we can all get to X place for Y time’ when getting the 6:30 train for me means getting up at 5am…I said wow that’s too early for me, I’d go and stay the night before, and then they’re all jabbering on about how when you have kids you don’t ‘sleep in’ anyway (is not wanting to get up at 5am ‘sleeping in’??) and they have no sleep so they’re always tired as it is ha ha okay good for you, I don’t have kids and I don’t want to be up at 5am for any reason!

Had a bit of a heart to heart with my dad today and it’s the first time I mentioned not wanting to have kids and he was so supportive makes a change from everyone else saying I’ll regret it
He just demanded grandcats instead which I’ll be happy to oblige