Switchstreetz
VIP Member
I know what you mean.
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Jelly Bean
VIP Member
I still can't get my head around why buying a t-shirt from Alfred Deyes is more helpful to Australia than just donating money directly. Seems quite wierd and unsavoury really.
"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!Why would anyone want to be this when the Tory prick dEsIgNeR can't even take the tacky, overpriced jumper off?
You ain't fucking SAVAGE Aldo
SHICKKK
All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.
Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!
Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.
"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.
"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
YTZeleb23
Chatty Member
"Fans" like this are just fucking weird. It's creepy. Parents are the ones who'll "document" their child growing up, if they want to, privately or publicly, not some random on the internet. What do fans even gain from doing this, or following this?
hashtag_gifted
Active member
Alfie is effing disgusting. Using the POSTAL service for ANOTHER instrument that he won't play. What a vile child. A spoilt, gummy child. I absolutely loathe him. He is pathetic, not good at anything he does. What about that beautiful piano he has in the house? He wants to be able to do everything but hasn't got the talent or patience to learn. He is losing relevance (his videos without Zoe don't even hit over 200k views, and soon he is going to fade. Disgusting.