Zoella #5 Biological clock is knocking on door but her boyfriend has the mental age of 4

[thenomad]

I am a naturally skinny person, like Zoe. I go to the gym and lift weights and my arms look better. I think she would benefit from doing the same.

I’m naturally skinny too but when I see Zoe’s body I don’t think body goals at all. I just think of someone who is ill. Her and Dianne are similar in terms of size and you see definition in Dianne’s arms and legs whereas Zoe is just shapeless with the exception of when she puts on her massive padded bra.

I wish she had done the 90 day challenge with Alfie (Zoe vs Alfie scenario). I guarantee her after results would have been much impressive even without the aid of a fake tan.

 

[bubbletea123]

I’m naturally skinny too but when I see Zoe’s body I don’t think body goals at all. I just think of someone who is ill. Her and Dianne are similar in terms of size and you see definition in Dianne’s arms and legs whereas Zoe is just shapeless with the exception of when she puts on her massive padded bra.

I wish she had done the 90 day challenge with Alfie (Zoe be Alfie scenario). I guarantee her after results would have been much impressive even without the aid of a fake tan.

It would be sooo great if she added weight lifting to her routine so she isn't just doing cardio all the time. She would look so great with some definition.

 

[thenomad]

It would be sooo great if she added weight lifting to her routine so she isn't just doing cardio all the time. She would look so great with some definition.

I’m just glad she’s off the couch and being active for a change! But yes, I totally agree!

Hopefully, she will keep this up and start to incorporate other things like weights or actually sticking through with bouldering. I really don’t want this to be a passing fad for her and that this will the incentive that gets her to ditch that eyesore loser bf of hers that has done nothing for her well-being or her career. Especially after how cruel he was during her birthday trip last year or when they drew their five year timeline at Alfie’s recently failed pop-up and he forgot about Zoe (and had to amend it with a second drawing). He really doesn’t appreciate or care for her at all.

 

[Horatio]

Haha I'm also really enjoying that picture of them running - nothing better than seeing someone so full of tit and in love with themselves so clearly exposed in one moment. God he's a fool.

 

[Alightened]

He was puffing and panting behind her and she wasn't even out of breath. He looked like he was about to collapse.

 

[StephenTJackson]

He was puffing and panting behind her and she wasn't even out of breath. He looked like he was about to collapse.

For someone who has supposedly just done a savage kayak down the Thames that was over 200miles, he should be fit enough to do a little run. Just goes to show how little effort he actually had to put in to kayaking downstream along the Thames.

 

[Horatio]

He was puffing and panting behind her and she wasn't even out of breath. He looked like he was about to collapse.

While she looks actually quite radiant all flushed and enjoying her serotonin rush, he is wheezing about his stich scowling in the background....

(I KNOW I'm exagerrating. LET ME )

 

[Alightened]

Just listen to him. He's dying

She's running, if you look at him he's just doing a quick walk. I'm wetting myself here. He's so savage

 

[Gigglez]

Just listen to him. He's dying

View attachment 22752

She's running, if you look at him he's just doing a quick walk. I'm wetting myself here. He's so savage

Yes, me too!!! shows what a SHAM Alfie is. He is so full of
I really hope Zoe does stick with this running, hopefully more blood and oxygen will circulate to her brain, giving her the sense to finally get rid of that lump of patheticness!!

 

[xoxo_a]

Go Zoe!

 

[Mayday]

Just listen to him. He's dying

View attachment 22752

She's running, if you look at him he's just doing a quick walk. I'm wetting myself here. He's so savage

Doesn't he claim to be super into the gym as well? (or pretended he was for a hot minute) and this is what he sounds like after what is essentially a warm up?

 

[Gigglez]

Apparently today is Tanya Burr’s 30th Birthday. Haven’t seen Zoe mention anything about it... lol and I was watching Tanya’s stories and she is hanging out with 3 friends and her sister, no Zoe (though Zoe doesn’t go out of her way for anyone anyway). If they are such “besties” you’d think Zoe would actually post something by now... fake friends

 

[Mayday]

Apparently today is Tanya Burr’s 30th Birthday. Haven’t seen Zoe mention anything about it... lol and I was watching Tanya’s stories and she is hanging out with 3 friends and her sister, no Zoe (though Zoe doesn’t go out of her way for anyone anyway). If they are such “besties” you’d think Zoe would actually post something by now... fake friends

Its kinda sad as they used to seem really close, especially when they'd hang out a lot with Niomi as well. Maybe it was partially a Gleam thing or the fact the people they were all dating were friendly, but I mean Tanya went to her birthday party so you'd think she'd post a message or come to whatever she's doing? Its not as if she has much else going on.

 

[thenomad]

I mean this is mean girl Zoe at her finest. Did we expect anything different? Maybe she’ll do a birthday post for Tanya later on (if she can be bothered to do so). But I’m not surprised Zoe didn’t do anything. Their friendship at best was always a facade.

Let’s not forget Zoe also posted a throwback IG story of her and Tanya recently when Tanya was chubbier just to make it a sticking point that Tanya was heavier back in the day.

Also if I was Mark, I would be a bit concerned that Zoe has found a new ‘bestie’ whom she can play card games with, have Colin the caterpillar birthday cakes, and watch either Elf/The Greatest Showman/Harry Potter on repeat on her couch in Brighton. Mark is really missing out!

 

[bubbletea123]

I mean this is mean girl Zoe at her finest. Did we expect anything different? Maybe she’ll do a birthday post for Tanya later on (if she can be bothered to do so). But I’m not surprised Zoe didn’t do anything. Their friendship at best was always a facade.

Let’s not forget Zoe also posted a throwback IG story of her and Tanya recently when Tanya was chubbier just to make it a sticking point that Tanya was heavier back in the day.

Also if I was Mark, I would be a bit concerned that Zoe has found a new ‘bestie’ whom she can play card games with, have Colin the caterpillar birthday cakes, and watch either Elf/The Greatest Showman/Harry Potter on repeat on her couch in Brighton. Mark is really missing out!

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She has been friends with that guy for years, since she worked at New Look as a teen. He has been in videos before.

 

[thenomad]

She has been friends with that guy for years, since she worked at New Look as a teen. He has been in videos before.

Not sure of his name but I’m aware he’s been in her videos before. The latest gathering before today was at her bday party it seems.

I meant more in jest of her throwing around the term bestie for every single friend until the next better one comes along. See Louise, Tanya, Gabbie, Poppy, and the current title holder Mark. I guess my friendships are a bit different but I don’t call all my friends ‘besties’. Maybe this guy keeps a lower profile than someone like Mark so Zoe doesn’t advertise this friendship as much but tbh I totally forgot she had other friends outside of her employees/Alfie’s friends and Mark. If she’s making more of an effort to reconnect with other friends then good for her; as she needs a life outside of Alfie’s bubble. I just thought the whole ‘bestie’ was possibly a slight jab at Mark (to get him to come out to Brighton more often) but that could be me expecting the usual worst from Zoe given the birthday snub for Tanya.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Zoe's probably threatened/unnerved by thin single Tanya. Not that Tanya would be predatory now but that she has changed things and Zoe lives in the past. Tanya was the chubby married friend that Zoe could make fun of and patronise. She maybe doesn't know what to make of her now.

 

[Iced Coffee]

I’m just glad she’s off the couch and being active for a change! But yes, I totally agree!

Hopefully, she will keep this up and start to incorporate other things like weights or actually sticking through with bouldering. I really don’t want this to be a passing fad for her and that this will the incentive that gets her to ditch that eyesore loser bf of hers that has done nothing for her well-being or her career. Especially after how cruel he was during her birthday trip last year or when they drew their five year timeline at Alfie’s recently failed pop-up and he forgot about Zoe (and had to amend it with a second drawing). He really doesn’t appreciate or care for her at all.

He forgot her in his 5 year plan? I haven't watched their vlogs recently but wow, that's gotta sting

(Also I lowkey wonder if he always "forgets" things like that cuz he's an idiot and his true colors are showing, or because he's making subconscious jabs at Zoe...)

 

[leigh213]

Ooooh if I were her and I wasn't going to leave him, I would have at least turned around to him whilst I was jogging and he was huffing and puffing and gone " come on Alfie, do yourself a favour today...". Then I'd really leg it.

He forgot her in his 5 year plan? I haven't watched their vlogs recently but wow, that's gotta sting

(Also I lowkey wonder if he always "forgets" things like that cuz he's an idiot and his true colors are showing, or because he's making subconscious jabs at Zoe...)

I honestly have a very deep feeling they're jabs. He's that mean and petty.

 

[mustbeme]

To be fair though, I never congratulate my friends through social media - I just call them or visit. I think Alfie/Zoe mentioned this before as well in a video or on twitter or something - that if they don't congratulate someone on social media it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't friends anymore.

My guess is that Zoe just didn't want to go to London or go to Tan's birthdayparty because she didn't know anyone there