Zoella #4 Nostalgic for the nineties, looks age nighty. Forever the gf, no engagement from Alfie

[Deepsigh2018]

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Also, I notice this majority of the time she’s talking or doing the open mouth laugh and I assume it’s gum, but I never really notice her chewing gum... so it’s like always there... IDK has anyone else ever noticed that? Maybe it’s a part of her tooth, or she just always has gum in her mouth. It’s a minor thing but for some reason it irks me

Yes I too have noticed it a lot over the years but only ever see the chewing gum when shes got her mouth open.

 

[flakylibra]

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Also, I notice this majority of the time she’s talking or doing the open mouth laugh and I assume it’s gum, but I never really notice her chewing gum... so it’s like always there... IDK has anyone else ever noticed that? Maybe it’s a part of her tooth, or she just always has gum in her mouth. It’s a minor thing but for some reason it irks me [emoji38]

She’s always chewed gum a lot

 

[Tulips]

I know bushy eyebrows are fashionable at the moment but I think her face would benefit from them thinning down a tad

It feels like this thick/bushy eyebrow trend has been around for years now, I'm waiting patiently for it to die but it doesn't seem like it will.

 

[bubbletea123]

It feels like this thick/bushy eyebrow trend has been around for years now, I'm waiting patiently for it to die but it doesn't seem like it will.

Just like heavy contour.

 

[MunkyMagic]

It feels like this thick/bushy eyebrow trend has been around for years now, I'm waiting patiently for it to die but it doesn't seem like it will.

My face looks so much more feminine with thinner brows. I don’t mean late 90s/early 00s pencil lines but even then I think I prefer them to these thick mamas stuck to my face.

 

[Kimmyschmidt]

@Kimmyschmidt
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Thank you! That game Still doing my head in!!! As for the quote- don't look up to the sky while wielding the hammer or there could be a nasty accident!

 

[zatanna]

My face looks so much more feminine with thinner brows. I don’t mean late 90s/early 00s pencil lines but even then I think I prefer them to these thick mamas stuck to my face.

Also, even if thick eyebrows have been the trend, their shape is super important too if you specifically want them to be flattering. The arch, consistent thickness, the tail, all those things affect your eyes and your face.
Zoe just has big fat slugs stuck to her forehead and their tails are so thick and extend so far down it makes her eyes look even more droopy than they naturally are. It's just really unflattering and it's like she has no clue what actually suits her face. When you look at old videos she used to wear lighter eyeshadow and a cat eye and the thinner, more arched eyebrows made her eyes look so much more alive than they look now.

 

[StephenTJackson]

So she has FINALLY uploaded a vlog with her birthday party in. Not like anyone cares anymore. Lazy mare.

 

[bubbletea123]

WHY is she only posting her bday now? Not even relevant now.

 

[flakylibra]

So she has FINALLY uploaded a vlog with her birthday party in. Not like anyone cares anymore. Lazy mare.

ITS MAY

 

[StephenTJackson]

She also hasn’t even shared it on Instagram stories that she has uploaded, she really is so lazy and just half arsing her job. It’s so obvious she doesn’t care about YouTube anymore. Just the easy money maker Instagram ads.

 

[poppyflower]

If I had their money flow. I would be using that money to invest in a dream business outside of youtube. Like open a chain of boutique villas in Honduras or something life goal worthy like that and get richer. But nope...apprently spending money of half pipes , water slides and amazon gizmos is where 80% of his money goes.

 

[bubbletea123]

If I had their money flow. I would be using that money to invest in a dream business outside of youtube. Like open a chain of boutique villas in Honduras or something life goal worthy like that and get richer. But nope...apprently spending money of half pipes , water slides and amazon gizmos is where 80% of his money goes.

They're idiots with too much money. Like rig pigs. Spend it on utter shite instead of investing it. It will all come crashing down one day as soon they will no longer be relevant.

 

[StephenTJackson]

If I had their money flow. I would be using that money to invest in a dream business outside of youtube. Like open a chain of boutique villas in Honduras or something life goal worthy like that and get richer. But nope...apprently spending money of half pipes , water slides and amazon gizmos is where 80% of his money goes.

If they invest in something like that, they would then have to do some actual work.

 

[JamesKate]

I know people are calling Zalfie for Dianne’s rubbish 30th, but there was nothing stopping Joe from organising a small gathering at his flat or a restaurant in London. He had plenty of notice.

Also I know people say Zoe wont travel, when she wants to/wants Vlog content she seems perfectly fine to get in her car and drive somewhere.

Also it seems like Poppy wasn't there, do you think she doesn't like being there when Dianne is there as she not the centre of attention with Zoe?

 

[GossWhore]

SATURDAY:

• "Hi Everybody, sorry its been a while. I haven't uploaded since before birthday but I have some snippets I have filmed and I will insert" -- TRANSLATION: I cba to film, I don't care but I still want money
• "I haven't disappeared, I have been more prominent on Instagram so I haven't really picked up my vlogging camera" - EXCUSES EXCUSES
• "I also lost my memory card for Zoella Beauty Fruit Range, but now I have found it" --- HOW CONVENIENT LOL
• "I have been working on myself and doing stuff that fulfills me" --- please Zoe, tell us more because we see you and you do NOTHING
• Zoe then teaches us to BAKE MAKEUP --- a trend that has been around for over 5 years LOL
• "Let me know what you guys have been up to, leave me a comment" ---- yes do, so Zoe can continue to ignore your presence (She won't even "heart" a comment) [I actually did check and its been a 1 hr the vlog been up and she has not interacted with any of the comments, so why bother]
• "Gonna use my Zoella Brunch palette, there is still some available" --- yes plug your tit pallette one more time
• Her makeup looks are always A MESS
• Talks about her "video and editing photo app"
• "Currently there's nothing where you can add effects to a video" --- IS SHE FORREAL? -- Groovo. Glitch Video, Magisto?
• "Only will be on Ios and its MUCH more expensive to build on Android and there and MUCH MUCH more Apple users" [diddums I have an Android lol]
• The App is out May 9 2019 --- hence this "random" vlog [we all know she only vlogs for a promo]

FRUIT LAUNCH DAY:

• "I love this office occasions where we can celebrate something we have worked really hard on" ---- So basically celebrating Zoe?
• The launch involved way too many sweets and all of the office dogs (good luck if you have diabetes or allergies in that office lol)
• They also had a "smoothie station" -- Zoe pretending to be a health Queen lo (Wait, nope, shes in the sweets 2 seconds later loool)
• Zoe didn't even know how to put the Nutribullet on LOL (legit the whole office had to help her switch it on)

MY 29TH BIRTHDAY:

• Breakfast with the usual vanilla spread -- Alfie, Joe, Mark, Soppy and Alfies parents
• Though I have seen that breakfast spread before --- but its actually DISGUSTING -- how much food was wasted?
• That dumbass log tree hitting game
• Still trynna push that aerobics barbie was from the 90s and Alfie "I am Harry Potter from the first book, 1997!!!!"
• Seeing the S Club "surprise" in Zoes vlog really did show how much of a fail it was LOL

BACK TO SATURDAY:

• "As I am vlogging today I am going to try my hardest and also Instastory" -- Don't push yourself too much love
• So Zach and Sean are outside putting up the halfpipe -- Alfie is inside editing
• Love the fact the only bit of affection we saw of Zalfie was Alfie slowing moving Zoe back to get a spatula LOL
• Alfie: "We should open a bakery".....Zoe: "I don't think I have the time" LOOOOL (Girlbye -- you lazy AF)
• Ends with her bath with #Gifted Lush items

Abrupt ending as per usual

 

[Tookah]

I know people are calling Zalfie for Dianne’s rubbish 30th, but there was nothing stopping Joe from organising a small gathering at his flat or a restaurant in London. He had plenty of notice.

Maybe he did but didn't invite zoe? I wouldn't be surprised if they did something a bit private and didn't share it online. I can imagine zoe being overbearing and Joe finding easier to go to her instead of repeatedly telling her no and having to hear her whining.

 

[cherry198]

View attachment 16003​

SATURDAY:

• "Hi Everybody, sorry its been a while. I haven't uploaded since before birthday but I have some snippets I have filmed and I will insert" -- TRANSLATION: I cba to film, I don't care but I still want money
• "I haven't disappeared, I have been more prominent on Instagram so I haven't really picked up my vlogging camera" - EXCUSES EXCUSES
• "I also lost my memory card for Zoella Beauty Fruit Range, but now I have found it" --- HOW CONVENIENT LOL
• "I have been working on myself and doing stuff that fulfills me" --- please Zoe, tell us more because we see you and you do NOTHING
• Zoe then teaches us to BAKE MAKEUP --- a trend that has been around for over 5 years LOL
• "Let me know what you guys have been up to, leave me a comment" ---- yes do, so Zoe can continue to ignore your presence (She won't even "heart" a comment) [I actually did check and its been a 1 hr the vlog been up and she has not interacted with any of the comments, so why bother]
• "Gonna use my Zoella Brunch palette, there is still some available" --- yes plug your tit pallette one more time
• Her makeup looks are always A MESS
• Talks about her "video and editing photo app"
• "Currently there's nothing where you can add effects to a video" --- IS SHE FORREAL? -- Groovo. Glitch Video, Magisto?
• "Only will be on Ios and its MUCH more expensive to build on Android and there and MUCH MUCH more Apple users" [diddums I have an Android lol]
• The App is out May 9 2019 --- hence this "random" vlog [we all know she only vlogs for a promo]

FRUIT LAUNCH DAY:

• "I love this office occasions where we can celebrate something we have worked really hard on" ---- So basically celebrating Zoe?
• The launch involved way too many sweets and all of the office dogs (good luck if you have diabetes or allergies in that office lol)
• They also had a "smoothie station" -- Zoe pretending to be a health Queen lo (Wait, nope, shes in the sweets 2 seconds later loool)
• Zoe didn't even know how to put the Nutribullet on LOL (legit the whole office had to help her switch it on)

MY 29TH BIRTHDAY:

• Breakfast with the usual vanilla spread -- Alfie, Joe, Mark, Soppy and Alfies parents
• Though I have seen that breakfast spread before --- but its actually DISGUSTING -- how much food was wasted?
• That dumbass log tree hitting game
• Still trynna push that aerobics barbie was from the 90s and Alfie "I am Harry Potter from the first book, 1997!!!!"
• Seeing the S Club "surprise" in Zoes vlog really did show how much of a fail it was LOL

BACK TO SATURDAY:

• "As I am vlogging today I am going to try my hardest and also Instastory" -- Don't push yourself too much love
• So Zach and Sean are outside putting up the halfpipe -- Alfie is inside editing
• Love the fact the only bit of affection we saw of Zalfie was Alfie slowing moving Zoe back to get a spatula LOL
• Alfie: "We should open a bakery".....Zoe: "I don't think I have the time" LOOOOL (Girlbye -- you lazy AF)
• Ends with her bath with #Gifted Lush items

Abrupt ending as per usual

Thank you for your service

She doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she’s a lazy witch anymore.She constantly contradicts herself saying she doesn’t like vlogging anymore as she prefers insta but before she was saying how she hates insta as it’s all fake and contrived.And as you said she only vlogs when she has something to sell.According to social blade her views are at an all time low and hopefully they’ll continue to decline.

 

[thenomad]

View attachment 16003​

SATURDAY:

• "Hi Everybody, sorry its been a while. I haven't uploaded since before birthday but I have some snippets I have filmed and I will insert" -- TRANSLATION: I cba to film, I don't care but I still want money
• "I haven't disappeared, I have been more prominent on Instagram so I haven't really picked up my vlogging camera" - EXCUSES EXCUSES
• "I also lost my memory card for Zoella Beauty Fruit Range, but now I have found it" --- HOW CONVENIENT LOL
• "I have been working on myself and doing stuff that fulfills me" --- please Zoe, tell us more because we see you and you do NOTHING
• Zoe then teaches us to BAKE MAKEUP --- a trend that has been around for over 5 years LOL
• "Let me know what you guys have been up to, leave me a comment" ---- yes do, so Zoe can continue to ignore your presence (She won't even "heart" a comment) [I actually did check and its been a 1 hr the vlog been up and she has not interacted with any of the comments, so why bother]
• "Gonna use my Zoella Brunch palette, there is still some available" --- yes plug your tit pallette one more time
• Her makeup looks are always A MESS
• Talks about her "video and editing photo app"
• "Currently there's nothing where you can add effects to a video" --- IS SHE FORREAL? -- Groovo. Glitch Video, Magisto?
• "Only will be on Ios and its MUCH more expensive to build on Android and there and MUCH MUCH more Apple users" [diddums I have an Android lol]
• The App is out May 9 2019 --- hence this "random" vlog [we all know she only vlogs for a promo]

FRUIT LAUNCH DAY:

• "I love this office occasions where we can celebrate something we have worked really hard on" ---- So basically celebrating Zoe?
• The launch involved way too many sweets and all of the office dogs (good luck if you have diabetes or allergies in that office lol)
• They also had a "smoothie station" -- Zoe pretending to be a health Queen lo (Wait, nope, shes in the sweets 2 seconds later loool)
• Zoe didn't even know how to put the Nutribullet on LOL (legit the whole office had to help her switch it on)

MY 29TH BIRTHDAY:

• Breakfast with the usual vanilla spread -- Alfie, Joe, Mark, Soppy and Alfies parents
• Though I have seen that breakfast spread before --- but its actually DISGUSTING -- how much food was wasted?
• That dumbass log tree hitting game
• Still trynna push that aerobics barbie was from the 90s and Alfie "I am Harry Potter from the first book, 1997!!!!"
• Seeing the S Club "surprise" in Zoes vlog really did show how much of a fail it was LOL

BACK TO SATURDAY:

• "As I am vlogging today I am going to try my hardest and also Instastory" -- Don't push yourself too much love
• So Zach and Sean are outside putting up the halfpipe -- Alfie is inside editing
• Love the fact the only bit of affection we saw of Zalfie was Alfie slowing moving Zoe back to get a spatula LOL
• Alfie: "We should open a bakery".....Zoe: "I don't think I have the time" LOOOOL (Girlbye -- you lazy AF)
• Ends with her bath with #Gifted Lush items

Abrupt ending as per usual

When I saw how long the vlog was I just noped right out of there. To those who watched the entire thing without skipping or at regular speed... thank you for taking one for the team.

I cannot believe she put in her birthday footage when it's freaking MAY. I swear it's like her and Alfie have a bet going on between themselves on who can be the laziest. I wonder when the vlog of Dianne's birthday will come out. Next month? Mid-July? Closer to vlogmas?

Her excuses for why her vlogs are so late just made me roll my eyes. It's hard to do IG and vlog? Really? Like you don't think we forgot you did a HP marathon where you didn't leave the couch for 10+ hours. Or throw an all-day birthday party on a Thursday. What a joke. She isn't fooling anyone with her I'm so busy, woe is me pandering she's doing. Anyone with more than two brain cells can see she's full of .

And of course, she doesn't go see her grandparents when it's her granddad's birthday and instead makes Joe and Dianne come to her place for celebrations. She was probably pissed her grandparents couldn't trek all the way to her place in Brighton to celebrate there.

 

[Janne1991]

I used to work with Zoe before she got ‘famous’. She used to be such a sweet girl. Then she got too big for her boots, froze out all her non you tuber friends and became a right twit!