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GossWhore

VIP Member
Zoe wanted a kid by 30
God gave her Alfie


Moral of the story: Be clear with your affirmation [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
 
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Qweenie

Active member
I was thinking how much of a dick I would feel if I was a millionaire accepting a free eyebrow treatment every month from a salon.
It makes me cringe thinking of it!
 
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LittleRoots

Active member
I love how zoey is so uninteresting and boring her thread has turned into a converce review page, which quite frankly is the most exciting thing in the thread for a while lol
 
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invisibleotter

Chatty Member
Well the twitter minions even found it ridiculous that Joe & Dianne where there for her birthday and then the amusing posts started happening once the stump game was introduced. When the minions aren't being sycophants they can be quite amusing.

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NitrousOxide

Well-known member
‘Anything for those clicks’
Yep; exactly what your boyfriend does ZoZo


Also outed Alfie as a liar, he kept saying last year they were refilming the sims and wanted a backlog of episodes before they started releasing them...... hmmmmmm okay then....

I’m living for this Q and A 😂😂😂
The guinea pigs were neglected. There's no reason a guinea pig should need less attention than a dog; it's just that humans have decided dogs are worthy of a certain amount of freedom (i.e. daily exercise, not being caged, etc.) and other animals aren't so you can lock them up and ignore them. ALL ANIMALS INCLUDING HUMANS NEED DAILY EXERCISE AND "FREEDOM". Who came up with the ridiculous notion that only dogs need a walk every day?
 
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cherry198

VIP Member
OMFG-this was posted over on gg.Seems pretty legit to me and possibly one of the best things I’ve ever read.
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Youtubegossip

VIP Member
Zoe's getting passive aggressive with kids again. This time it's about Dianne birthday. View attachment 16378View attachment 16379
‘Kids’
She’s such a bitch. The one that sticks in my mind is when they drove to Europe and some girls was slagging Alfie in the toilet so Zoe was like ‘oh hi’ deliberately to make them feel bad.... she’s riddled with anxiety and no self confidence though.

She’s vile

So joe and Diane just decided, on her 30th to drive all the way to Brighton to spend her one day off with Zalf .... yeah alright then. I’m totally buying that as much as I’m buying any of the shite you shill
 
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Oohthedrama

Iconic Member
Moderator
Zoe, tattle are here to help you out.
101 ways to avoid loosing face when you’re sinking like the titanic.

- Numbers don’t matter,
- it’s quality over quantity,
- my audience are older now and have grown with me.
- I’m producing content I love and can be proud of so numbers will drop because it’s not “monthly favourites” and “what’s in my bag”
- I don’t upload as much so my numbers will suffer but I’m focusing on oThEr PRoJeCtS 😂😂
- YouTube and Instagram are changing their algorithms and it’s effectin everyone.
- People don’t watch on a Tuesday or when there’s a full moon.
- I prefer a smaller audience I can connect with even though I’m better than everyone.

Choose at least 2 excuses a month and include in 68 minute vlog with your puppies mark and narrrrhla.
 
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GossWhore

VIP Member
16003

SATURDAY:
  • "Hi Everybody, sorry its been a while. I haven't uploaded since before birthday but I have some snippets I have filmed and I will insert" -- TRANSLATION: I cba to film, I don't care but I still want money
  • "I haven't disappeared, I have been more prominent on Instagram so I haven't really picked up my vlogging camera" - EXCUSES EXCUSES
  • "I also lost my memory card for Zoella Beauty Fruit Range, but now I have found it" --- HOW CONVENIENT LOL
  • "I have been working on myself and doing stuff that fulfills me" --- please Zoe, tell us more because we see you and you do NOTHING
  • Zoe then teaches us to BAKE MAKEUP --- a trend that has been around for over 5 years LOL
  • "Let me know what you guys have been up to, leave me a comment" ---- yes do, so Zoe can continue to ignore your presence (She won't even "heart" a comment) [I actually did check and its been a 1 hr the vlog been up and she has not interacted with any of the comments, so why bother]
  • "Gonna use my Zoella Brunch palette, there is still some available" --- yes plug your shit pallette one more time
  • Her makeup looks are always A MESS
  • Talks about her "video and editing photo app"
  • "Currently there's nothing where you can add effects to a video" --- IS SHE FORREAL? -- Groovo. Glitch Video, Magisto?
  • "Only will be on Ios and its MUCH more expensive to build on Android and there and MUCH MUCH more Apple users" [diddums I have an Android lol]
  • The App is out May 9 2019 --- hence this "random" vlog [we all know she only vlogs for a promo]

FRUIT LAUNCH DAY:
  • "I love this office occasions where we can celebrate something we have worked really hard on" ---- So basically celebrating Zoe?
  • The launch involved way too many sweets and all of the office dogs (good luck if you have diabetes or allergies in that office lol)
  • They also had a "smoothie station" -- Zoe pretending to be a health Queen lo (Wait, nope, shes in the sweets 2 seconds later loool)
  • Zoe didn't even know how to put the Nutribullet on LOL (legit the whole office had to help her switch it on)

MY 29TH BIRTHDAY:
  • Breakfast with the usual vanilla spread -- Alfie, Joe, Mark, Soppy and Alfies parents
  • Though I have seen that breakfast spread before --- but its actually DISGUSTING -- how much food was wasted?
  • That dumbass log tree hitting game
  • Still trynna push that aerobics barbie was from the 90s and Alfie "I am Harry Potter from the first book, 1997!!!!"
  • Seeing the S Club "surprise" in Zoes vlog really did show how much of a fail it was LOL

BACK TO SATURDAY:
  • "As I am vlogging today I am going to try my hardest and also Instastory" -- Don't push yourself too much love
  • So Zach and Sean are outside putting up the halfpipe -- Alfie is inside editing
  • Love the fact the only bit of affection we saw of Zalfie was Alfie slowing moving Zoe back to get a spatula LOL
  • Alfie: "We should open a bakery".....Zoe: "I don't think I have the time" LOOOOL (Girlbye -- you lazy AF)
  • Ends with her bath with #Gifted Lush items
Abrupt ending as per usual
 
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sburton

Active member
Well if she wasn’t scummy enough making Joe and Dianne come out to Brighton for Dianne’s birthday, it turns out it was her grandfathers birthday too! They all could have gone there for a couples trip to see him and to celebrate both birthdays, but nope, had to accommodate the princess who refuses to leave her couch.

I just don’t get how she can be so selfish. I don’t have the best relationship with some of my family, but I still make the effort to go out for the big birthdays, you never know how much time you’ll have left.
 
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thenomad

VIP Member
Tbh, and unusually for this thread, I don’t think this is reaching at all. In general, I know what female friendships are like. And with these two, Tanya is currently all about (depressingly) flaunting her new body and image while Zoe is all about sitting alone in her mansion basking in the past. Tanya as the fat friend is a physical representation of the old order on YouTube generally. That’s exactly the kind of move Zoe would make even if it was partially subconscious.
Absolutely all of this. That's why I find it so annoying when she posts quotes on her IG about positivity, female empowerment, and all the other bs she doesn't follow through on... and I won't even get started on her wannabe-philosopher bf whose words ring just as hollow.

Zoe is forever stuck in the past and we see that in the handful of vlogs that she does per year. Most recently, being her 90s theme birthday party via Alfie and co's vlogs. It's pretty telling she picks a photo of her and Tanya dated in 2014-- when she was at her peak. In her mind, she still thinks she's the top female YouTuber for the UK. Never mind that her content is stale and she has been irrelevant for quite some time (Joe Sugg's sister, anybody?). This is why Zoe's friendships always fizzle out. She has to be the queen bee in her group even if she's not deserving of that title, especially considering her body of work (or lack there of) is due to sheer ineptitude and laziness.

Anyone who has been watching Zoe or has followed her for a long time knows that this throwback photo wasn't to celebrate her friendship with Tanya or to show support since the wake of Jim and Tanya's separation. This was 100% to show that Tanya used to be chubbier and what peak Zoe looked like. Young girls should never strive to be like Zoe or consider toxic behavior like this as friendship goals. Nearly five years later and still no growth or maturity. Just an ugly personality. Well done Zoe... well done. :rolleyes:
 
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Gigglez

Well-known member
Is there like some unwritten rule for their house that everyone who uses the downstairs bathroom needs to be surprised/scared when they come out? 🙄 ffs
 
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