Zoe Sugg #49 Five go absolutely nowhere, unless it's gifted

[fluffycow172]

This has to be a joke… View attachment 1300637

Out of all the people being gym shark ambassadors, they decide to use Zoe for their Ads on Instagram …

“Styled” as if she did anything special other than put it on

 

[Chinese_whispers]

Do we think if some fit bird showed an interest in Alfie he would dump slobella?

No but he would emotionally cheat and then tell Zoe she’s being paranoid.

 

[coconochanel]

She is so awkward towards anything sexual its embarrassing to watch! why did she need all the staff to open the collab box? they didn't sit with her when she collaborated with etsy! then they sit there giggling like idiots ffs if you cant have a adult conversation about sex/pleasure then please don't patronize your fans and do a collab with a women's sexual brand!

 

[Tigertheboxerdog]

this comment has got me sat howling at my desk

 

[judgeydrudgey]

While I do think most people (myself included) spend too much time on social media, girl….this is your job! Most people cannot just “come and go all the time” to their job

 

[StephenTJackson]

Idk where people got this misconception of Alfie wanting to get out there and travel the world. He had years to do that before having a baby. Obviously Zoe wasn’t stopping him cause he’s been places without her. He doesn’t want to. He likes the idea of things instead of putting them into practice.

This.

He couldn't even handle living in London with Caspar Lee (way before Joe and Caspar were a thing) before he had to run back to Brighton to be with Mummy and Daddy.

 

[fidgetjo]

Has Zoe actually said she wants to be married? I wonder if they just don’t want to get married

Yes multiple times. She always said she wanted the ring and the bump before 30. That didn’t happen because Alfie said he wanted to get married later in life when his kids can be there the way that his parents did. So now Zoe’s started in the last two years saying she wants to be married when her kids can be there. But this only happened after she’d already turned 30 and didn’t get the ring before that.

 

[ProphecyGirl]

A mashed potato maker

I have one of them but he’s got two arms and legs and answers back more time than he should

 

[electricmallows]

That's her mom Tracey no ?

I think that’s the joke

 

[coconochanel]

Bloody hell give it a rest

Also I thought she said she didn't feel confident? funny that she's posing in her undies then!

Also we all know whys she's harping on about when she was pregnant....because Tanya Burr is getting all the attention since she announced her pregnancy and is glowing in her IG pics.

 

[electricmallows]

The way Alfie stomped up those stairs with that pervy smile on his face calling ZoZo a Sexy Mama After that she kept begging for more compliments, even showed us her butt in those work-out pants, it was so cringy! I feel like she left the part of him touching her in purposefully - it is probably the most he's touched her in a while!

Jesus, that smile who needs pennywise the clown when you have that coming up the stairs

 

[Fillyjonk]

What operation do you think she's having in Thurgoland?

I think you meant to post this in the Gabby thread - if Zoe was having an operation, she'd probably make the surgeon come to her

 

[Lemonz]

speaking of big events

nothing. really NOTHING. tops this vlog with the big event being the fireworks

her face was so lit up and excited. and the whole build up also looked like he is gonna propose-

The bit where he announces a surprise and all her female friends turn to look at her/gather round her and then once its revealed that its just the fireworks the looks on their faces... says it all.
I also refuse to believe this wasnt deliberate on Alfies part, he's not THAT stupid. And i think everyone there knew that.

 

[London_girl123]

Found the American

My dad always called American teeth 'toilet teeth' because of the obsession with having them porcelain white

 

[gee13]

I find it SO weird that she says she’s shown so many people her birth video .. I mean I get having close friends but really I wouldn’t want to see anyone else’s bits N pieces no matter who they are!! It’s like she thinks she some birthing goddess

 

[Juststopit]

My dad always called American teeth 'toilet teeth' because of the obsession with having them porcelain white

I always call them horse teeth, especially veneers, as they always look too big for their mouths.

 

[milkyways]

We've been saying he'll propose for every big event or milestone for YEARS, and he never does.

Why doesn't Zoe just bloody ask him if she wants to get married

speaking of big events

nothing. really NOTHING. tops this vlog with the big event being the fireworks

her face was so lit up and excited. and the whole build up also looked like he is gonna propose-

 

[judgeydrudgey]

I have to admit, those photo booth pics with Mark are cute and she looks very happy.

Is it just me or does she do more couple-y things with Mark than she does with Alfie?

I think she genuinely enjoys hanging out with Mark, whereas I don’t think she really enjoys hanging out with Alfie anymore. They’re in such a rut, never do anything, never go anywhere, can’t even go out to dinner without bringing cards to fill the silence.

 

[Chloesm]

This has to be a joke…

Out of all the people being gym shark ambassadors, they decide to use Zoe for their Ads on Instagram …

 

[rosieposie87]

Zoe and Alfie never pose together in pictures like they are actually having a good time or love each other - Alfie never smiles and Zoe fake smiles. I used to think that they still do that "we don't show affection in pics/videos" but I don't believe they are affectionate offline either.

100% this. Compare literally any photo of Zoe and Alfie with Joe’s recent photo dump of his and Dianne’s Sicily trip. I was just scrolling through them earlier today and they look so comfortable and loved up. The body language just screams ‘we actually like each other and prefer being together than with anyone else.’ Zoe only ever looks like that in pictures with Mark low-key.

Plus I find it super telling that she hasn’t posted a picture with Alfie since March. So many photo dumps and random snapshots and none include your partner and the supposed love of your life? Very strange imo. And in the picture Alfie just posted, as others have said, the body language is horrendous. He’s basically stood in front of her, rather than having his body turned to her or touching her in any way. It’s so cold and unaffectionate. Not even to mention his flat expression and her plastered on smile.

They do say having a baby can be a massive clarifier in a relationship. Maybe Zoe has finally clocked onto the fact that Alfie is not that into her and hasn’t been for years (if ever). It’s mad to think she’s wasted a decade of her life on such a lacklustre relationship. The world was truly her oyster she could’ve been out there and organically met a guy that’s genuinely crazy about her. Someone who couldn’t wait to propose to her and actively build a life together - instead of dragging along a barely present man child who goes through the motions with you because it’s comfortable and sustains his online career.