Zoe Sugg #19 Boring as feck

[Blankypwerson2018]

In her new vlog (titled ‘they’re planning my hen do’ btw i wont get into that) she shows off her new Gucci trainers as her ‘symbol of lockdown’.
Her memories of lockdown is a splurge on designer trainers and playing animal crossing, meanwhile the majority of the country have lost their jobs and are seriously struggling to bet by!!!! HOW OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY CAN YOU BE?!!!

This vlog is too much - Little dainty pea head zoe strikes again ‘I was telling Alf i found this mask that is for kids and it fits PERFECTLY’

All this talk of her being desperate for kids i actually dont think is true, she wants to be ickle wickle zoe peahead and be coddled for the rest of her life

I was starting to like Zoe again but this Vlog just includes everything that puts me off:
1. Flaunting her unearned wealth during a global pandemic
2. Hinting about getting married to make her boyfriend uncomfortable and under pressure
3. The whole “I’m so small thing” - you’re 30 it makes no sense, she must think it makes her cute to Alfie I dunno, it’s unhealthy obsession for young impressionable girls to be watching

 

[elelliott]

Just me or did anyone else notice that when she shared on insta the songs Alfie had been listening to on repeat one of them was titled ‘commitment issues’ ..... if that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is hun

 

[lemonlime]

Oh look at me I’m so small and tiny

Wanting to prove how small she is has always been her weirdest "flex". She's a 30 year old woman, not a tween in search of a quirk. So strange. Remember her constantly pulling people near her so she could see how much taller they all were?

 

[cvntlord0606]

Zoe’s “spontaneous lockdown purchase”

money doesnt buy style or the right sized bra

 

[navybluewolf]

Odds on Zoe being the one that made Alfie write this caption on his newest picture? What is their obsession with their head sizes, it baffles me

Never known someone to be so weirdly proud of a weak jaw and no forehead. There's a particular breed of English guys that are obsessed with having petite girlfriends as it makes their weedy bodies and tiny willies look bigger. I wonder if that's why Zoe plays up how 'smol' she is.

 

[invisibleotter]

Do you think Jim getting engaged so quickly after leaving Tanya will make Zoe worry that Alfie would do the same?

I think what would really send her over the edge & into a full on breakdown us if Joe gets engaged before her. Considering he's her younger brother, whos relationship history is one night stands, a few flings & friends with benefits. Add to that him & Dianne aren't even going out 2 years, I think that would hit far harder then Jim Chapman's engagement.

 

[lemondaze]

They mainly only "laugh" about one of them saying something wrong. They will say "pass me the petchup" instead of ketchup and spend the next hour fake silent laughing about it.This is their humour. It really isn't funny. At all. I think Zoe wanted a gay, funny friend but he isn't funny/witty at all and neither is she.

this. why do I get the feeling she’s that classic girl that “wants a gay best friend” she did the exact same thing with Tyler Oakley years ago until that friendship frazzled away, just like all of her other ones.

 

[openbook1]

Sorry, why is she suddenly concerned about Nala using her brain after years of not bothering to bloody walk her properly?
Do we reckon someones mentioned how fucking stupid Nala is or she's being destructive and the vets pointed out she actually needs brain stimulation

I think Nala is bored as fuck and perhaps peeing in the house out of protest and frustration. Poor dog. Don't forget she has shit on the carpet too. They're terrible owners. Nala is looking really fat, like a sausage.

 

[Yoghurtpots]

Why are 90% of her conversations about her being a kid. Does she need therapy or something?! Its so bizarre.

 

[Horatio]

That’s nothing for someone as rich as her. And when you’ve got other YouTubers like KSI who got a bespoke chain made with a cartoon character for 500k, Jake Paul and his cars and Rolexes, Zoe is pretty unflashy in comparison...

 

[StephenTJackson]

I always think Alfie looks like he can’t stand Mark personally! He always give him that look of “how dare you treat my girlfriend better than I do, she never has this much fun with me!”

No, Alfie is jealous of Zoe, getting all the attention from Mark that he wants.

maybe he's homophobic and a little closeted

He's so deep in the closet he is off to meet Aslan and Mr Tumnus.

 

[honey_bee_123]

Autumn Deyes

And their second child can be Wynter Deyes (spelt with a Y for uniqueness obvs)

 

[clueless]

So if she owns that current house... how amazing would it be if, say, Baboon Alfie went away on a trip and came back a few days later to find the house up for sale, and she and all her stuff gone...!

I think she should get out of Brighton, move back to Lacock, be near her family and old friends again, back to her roots (and they're nice roots, Lacock looks so quaint). There are some lovely houses there for sale, including a charming looking place in need of a renovation... she could buy it and turn it into a project in interior design, maybe document it all, for newer, more grown up content... or else take leave of her online life. Plenty of money left over to save/invest/sustain her, get a fuss-free part-time job. Meet an actual man, who also wants a marriage and children. Do it, Zoe!

... can you tell I'm procrastinating today?!

 

[epictoaster]

If Aldie would get paid an ad or something for having a baby do you think Zoella would finally get her bump??

 

[Louise123]

I've always thought this too. He has dead eyes like there's just nothing there.

If you look really closely you will £ signs. His one true love

 

[Victoria sponge cake]

Zoe’s “spontaneous lockdown purchase”

 

[cvntlord0606]

More time u look like that and have to point out other people "flaws"

zoe while you are here leave alfie and get a real job

 

[Gossiper35]

Personally I don't get the obsession with having a big load of fake hair hanging from her head! It would gross me out. I have really fine hair and would love extra thickness but I still wouldn't want those things.

 

[Corrine23]

Hi guys I’ve never posted anything before but saw this pic somebody posted on FB and our good friend Zoe immediately sprung to mind though that’s her life not just in quarantine

 

[Ester123]

I would love a body language expert to watch these two and give their full report. We all know there’s no real love or future there but I’d love to hear what an expert says and picks up on.