I recently started on ADHD medication. It's been life changing, but not in a hyper /buzzy way. Its calmed me down and focused me.
I'm 35 and feel I can finally start my life
I'm 35 and feel I can finally start my life
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My partner is extremely extremely supportive of me and all choices I make. But I feel so guilty for the days I can’t function. We have 3 kids with ADHD thanks to my genes! And some days I’m brilliant I am smashing out job after Job around the house, getting the kids into school etc and sorting all that out (I’m my daughters carer as she has very extensive needs) and now my partners carer as he has cancer. BUT the days I can’t function and need to just lay in bed I feel really tit about and useless. He would let me lay in bed all day if I chose and wouldn’t ever moan but I can hear him with the kids and I can hear they aren’t behaving and yet some days I just can’t be sort of bothered to help, but it’s not that I can’t be bothered it’s just too much. It’s very very overwhelming sometimes having ADHD I guess I’m just ranting as I can’t talk to no one else about it. Bevause all I get back is oh I wish I could lay in bed all day!, sorry but I don’t want to be?
I feel this! Sometimes I am so on top of my house and washing and then I’ll have a dip where i have 0 drive to get anything done. It used to really bother me and send me into a bit of a depression but I totally understand myself now. I think I felt that way because I worried that my house was forever going to be a tit hope. But now I know that the energy will come, it’s just waiting it out. I feel incredibly guilty when my husband comes home from work and tidies all the toys away, does the dishes and cleans downstairs. I know he understands and doesn’t mind but I can’t help but think at some point it’s going to wear thin on him and he’ll have had enough
I totally relate to having zero drive. I'm doing a PhD and somedays I just can't even open my laptop, which then causes more stress because I have deadlines 
This is exactly it. I’ve never realised that before though what you’ve just said that the energy will come to sort it out again. In my head if I haven’t done it that exact minute then it’s a bad life and a tit hole house. I really need to give my self a break but god knows how. And I feel the same that one day he’ll say that’s enough but again I think that’s just what we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel worse
And then on top of it I now have the stress of filling out my daughters ECHP forms and starting this process again as the school keep mucking it up. I’m sure at this point now they are doing it on purpose!
I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, but couldn't afford to continue with private treatment so am currently unmedicated. I've been taking antidepressants which have been making the adhd worse and causing me to feel depressed so I'm off them now. It's a struggle, but I have a lot more energy. I have a big problem with emotional dysregulation and had a meltdown on the phone to 02 yesterday trying to deal with a cancelled contract. I just can't concentrate, focus and my brain feels scrambled trying to deal with bureaucratic stuff. My husband helps loads, but I still need to speak if I'm the account holder. On the upside, the house and garden are getting done because I'm primarily hyperactive so have tons of energy. I scrubbed and painted the front porch on a whim last night 
I really feel that lack of drive, then hating yourself for being 'lazy' - but if you're lazy, isn't it because you WANT to be lazy? I don't want to be lazy! I want to be a kick ass go getter who put the bleeping washing away (and finishes her work)
How do you all deal with the obsessive traits also? If I see something I like I’ll have to get it in diff colours, if I eat something I like I’ll eat it daily for 2 weeks until I’m sick of it and then I’ll never buy it again. Also got addicted to house plants once cause they made the room feel fresher and made me feel grown up had them every where hanging up, on shelves. Had to give some to me nan and dad as too many was around and I kept forgetting to water them.
Ahhh. Really struggling at the minute. Haven’t read this thread in forever but it’s so nice to check in and feel less alone in the chaos.
I’m still waiting for assessment on NHS but starting to seriously consider going private. My daughter is now showing traits of adhd and autism and so we are starting that process too. And I’m realising how much I also identify with autism as well as adhd myself! So that’s all a lot and I can’t sort my head out enough to even understand what I need to do about any of it.
But I’ll get there. Right?!?!
I’m still waiting for assessment on NHS but starting to seriously consider going private. My daughter is now showing traits of adhd and autism and so we are starting that process too. And I’m realising how much I also identify with autism as well as adhd myself! So that’s all a lot and I can’t sort my head out enough to even understand what I need to do about any of it.
But I’ll get there. Right?!?!
I had an appointment with my GP yesterday after dropping in the self referral form. She says I’m scoring very highly and definitely does sound like I have ADHD. Waiting for referral to specialist now but who knows how long that will be
RE: obsessive. I get fixated on items for weeks whether it be food or a certain product then I completely hate it. Music is a big one for me also, I can easily listen to a song on repeat for hours then end up hating it.
Does anyone else take up hobbies then never finish it? I started diamond painting in the new year, bought about 5 kits and haven’t touched them
RE: obsessive. I get fixated on items for weeks whether it be food or a certain product then I completely hate it. Music is a big one for me also, I can easily listen to a song on repeat for hours then end up hating it.
Does anyone else take up hobbies then never finish it? I started diamond painting in the new year, bought about 5 kits and haven’t touched them
I am exactly like this. So many hobbys abandoned. Must have now watched Never Have I Ever on netflix about 17 times.I had an appointment with my GP yesterday after dropping in the self referral form. She says I’m scoring very highly and definitely does sound like I have ADHD. Waiting for referral to specialist now but who knows how long that will be
RE: obsessive. I get fixated on items for weeks whether it be food or a certain product then I completely hate it. Music is a big one for me also, I can easily listen to a song on repeat for hours then end up hating it.
Does anyone else take up hobbies then never finish it? I started diamond painting in the new year, bought about 5 kits and haven’t touched them
I am half way through assessment, paying for it with smart start minds ltd and the psychiatrist that GP recommended. I did the self assessment and a senses test, both showed very likely adult adhd. Just need to see the psychiatrist and I was panicking about childhood evidence but then I found some old school books and good grief. Presentation, forgetting to give books in, scribbling. All there...!
My life is full of Unfinished projects.Does anyone else take up hobbies then never finish it? I started diamond painting in the new year, bought about 5 kits and haven’t touched them
I can recognise now though when I'm getting hyperfocused and try hold off on any big purchases. In the past, I'd start a hobby, buy EVERYTHING that I needed for it, then my executive functioning issues would mean that I couldn't even begin to know where to start with it all. And I'd move on to the next thing
Hi,
So I'm literally in the middle of the house plant thing. I know I'm doing it. I know why (change in circumstances so I'm feathering - I also totally get the fresh thing). However I also know (and fear) they will all be dead in 3 months.
I'm not officially diagnosed but I have 3 autistic children, two of them with ADHD as well (they are watching the third for that). The other two children don't have diagnoses but skirt the boundaries in my opinion.
It's hard to explain unless you've lived it but I don't need a diagnosis to know that I've found the thing that explains me. I always knew I was slightly different, I just didn't know why.
My obsessive traits flare when I'm stressed and I get a bit giddy about things. Fortunately over the years I've bought a lot from ebay. Converse are a big thing of mine. Mostly all bought from ebay.
My SIL has been told by a consultant that she probably has ADHD. She was quite surprised but I wasn't. Firstly she's married to my very clearly ADHD brother and secondly she has some mad obsessive thing with food going on. She'll suddenly get really into a particular food and eat nothing but that for weeks and then suddenly the love is over.
It's hard to explain to people who don't get it.
For me, understanding meltdowns has been the biggest help. I'm not sure it takes away the embarrassment I feel about some stuff in my past but it does give me a chance to forgive myself.
I identify with all these posts. Yesterday I bought a light sleep set from Primark. It was hard to decide on which pattern. I like it. Now my brain is saying, go back, go back and buy up every single pattern!
The same with some underwear off Amazon that comes in packs of five each pack with a different pattern. I now have fifteen pairs and constantly look at the one I don't have. Before this I had lots of perfectly fine underwear so now have masses.
I describe my brain as a swirling mass of cotton wool. Like trying to listen to five radio stations all at once.
Anything to do with forms, sorting bills, admin, making calls causes a type of fear. I'm so lucky I have someone extremely kind & understanding who helps me with this.
The same with some underwear off Amazon that comes in packs of five each pack with a different pattern. I now have fifteen pairs and constantly look at the one I don't have. Before this I had lots of perfectly fine underwear so now have masses.
I describe my brain as a swirling mass of cotton wool. Like trying to listen to five radio stations all at once.
Anything to do with forms, sorting bills, admin, making calls causes a type of fear. I'm so lucky I have someone extremely kind & understanding who helps me with this.
I’ve never spoke to another person who has 3 kids the same! It’s so hard isn’t it? I’ve got 3 with adhd and 2 of them have Autism. The youngest one is showing a lot of signs of autism but we are still waiting to have it confirmed. How do you cope?.
I find the noise the worst part as all my kids scream and shriek and it really really overwhelms me a lot and I always feel bad and think so they see me as a snappy mum? I don’t know
It's really hard if I'm honest. We have good and bad days. My eldest moved into assisted living last year which helped a lot because it gave us more space which helps the kids not be so on top of each other.
I struggle with the noise too, especially the shrieking. One of mine makes really silly, random squawking noises, often in response to being asked a question and I find the pitch almost painful.
I don't think they'll see you as a snappy mum. That's only a small part of your parenting. It probably feels bigger to you because you feel bad about it (which again shows you are a good parent!).
Have you been reading my diary? That’s my life with my two. The noise. God the noise. It’s so shrill and loud. I started smoking again after 11 years just to calm myself down.
I’m definitely a snappy/shouty mum and I hate it.
Yep yep yep the noises. And the mum guilt ffs.
I’m realising lately how much of my life I have spent dissociating to cope with sensory overwhelm. Trying to be more present with the kids and also learn to drive- making me see how zoned out I usually am and how much I lose my tit otherwise.
It’s a slow and unsettling process uncovering all of this but it is so useful and validating to finally have a framework to start understanding yourself.
I’m realising lately how much of my life I have spent dissociating to cope with sensory overwhelm. Trying to be more present with the kids and also learn to drive- making me see how zoned out I usually am and how much I lose my tit otherwise.
It’s a slow and unsettling process uncovering all of this but it is so useful and validating to finally have a framework to start understanding yourself.
Any tips for dealing with obsessive traits would be really helpful for me too!
My current example is that I’ve recently watched the new sex pistols programme and enjoyed it, knew very little about them before but now I’ve spent all my free time googling them, listening to their music, re-watching the show. I know that at any point this new obsession will be replaced by another random thing, but I’m still having to battle the urge to Amazon their autobiographies (which I know I’ll never read)!
I also do it with clothes shopping for myself; if I find an item of clothing that I like I have to buy it in every colour / pattern I can. I must have 20 pairs of converse in a rainbow of colours, a lot of which have never been worn! I definitely can’t afford to be a shopaholic but spending money makes me happy
My current example is that I’ve recently watched the new sex pistols programme and enjoyed it, knew very little about them before but now I’ve spent all my free time googling them, listening to their music, re-watching the show. I know that at any point this new obsession will be replaced by another random thing, but I’m still having to battle the urge to Amazon their autobiographies (which I know I’ll never read)!
I also do it with clothes shopping for myself; if I find an item of clothing that I like I have to buy it in every colour / pattern I can. I must have 20 pairs of converse in a rainbow of colours, a lot of which have never been worn! I definitely can’t afford to be a shopaholic but spending money makes me happy
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