Women with ADHD - diagnosis in adulthood

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Hi, I was recently privately diagnosed- 850£ it’s taken 2 months for me to get the blood tests done for the medical assessment - did everyone have to get their bloods done before meds? It’s costing around £400 privately - that’s before monthly private medical assessments of about 250£ For 3-6 months… its so expensive

did everyone have to get bloods done
 
Hi, I was recently privately diagnosed- 850£ it’s taken 2 months for me to get the blood tests done for the medical assessment - did everyone have to get their bloods done before meds? It’s costing around £400 privately - that’s before monthly private medical assessments of about 250£ For 3-6 months… its so expensive

did everyone have to get bloods done
I didn’t and that’s what annoys me a lot with psychologists and psychiatrists - they never have suggested that some of my issues might be caused by other things than strictly psychological - f.ex. hormone imbalances or deficiencies. They’d rather immediately prescribe antidepressants and call it a day and if they don’t work they’re like “oh well I guess it’s your nature to be depressed - go to therapy”...

My current psychiatrist only asked me to check my heart and blood pressure to decise whether I can get medications but then gave me prescription without even checking the results. Never asked about my thyroid issues even though they may cause some of the symptoms, including depression.
 
Thank you. I know during my diagnosis I was very much speaking to someone checking boxes- when I mentioned some of my masking/coping strategies- it wasn’t see as those but oh so sometimes to drink too much … well yes, I’m running into the ground and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s been a horrid process.
 
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My assessment wasn’t anything like I expected/what my friends have experienced. I had to do a WAIS which is an IQ test. I like puzzles and have strong literacy and numeracy; I feel like it was an irrelevant test. I need help with my executive function and life skills, not my maths. I’m very stressed about the outcome now, which I’m going to get in 3 weeks. I used up all of my health insurance funding on this test and I can’t afford another opinion but I feel like she looked at all the wrong elements.
Guess who’s got ADHD and an anxiety disorder wahoo!
 
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Also the cost of getting diagnosed with adhd late … due to women not being diagnosed and nhs not having availability… more money out private diagnosis, bloods, meds, on going assessment by private companies before handing to the nhs😑😑😑😑😑 I’m currently drowning in everything and my private consultant isn’t really that worried about informing me on anything. It’s totally tit
 
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So glad to find this thread. I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD and am late 40s. Once I knew, everything made sense.
Too tired to write more now but believe both my kids are ND too. Both have lots of struggles but I'm finding it hard to get them assessed, partly due to crap service from school and surgery plus their dad doesn't feel the same way as me.
I've always found life hard more so as Ive aged and dealing with my own brain as well as supporting two kids who are very challenging (mainly with me) has left me feeling on the edge and burnt out
I feel like I'm exacerbating my kids symptoms by being such a tit parent.
I wish I'd known years ago, I might not have made so many mistakes!
Funny thing is that some people, good friends, old friends, don't even believe my diagnosis so when I talk about my kids being ND people look at me like I'm mad.
So many things have been said that I find really hurtful about my kids, me, my parenting.
It just makes me want to shut off from everyone altogether as I feel so alone dealing with this
My job is hanging by a thread, the meds have helped with focus and energy but also some quite funny head moments, and feeling aggy at times!
 
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Nice to find a thread on ADHD. A friend was recently diagnosed and we are very similar, which has led me to believe I may have it, I relate to almost every symptom.

After some research and an 18-24 month wait on the NHS I've sent initial assessment forms to a private small company, managed by people who also have it.

I'm nervous, the nature of my work means you have to declare any meds and I fear it may affect my job. Already on SSRIs but I'm not too familiar with medication for ADHD.
 
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My prior diagnosis wasn’t enough for the NHS to prescribe medication so I’m back at the start of the line! I was close to tears on the phone to my GP about it. I was assessed for therapy but the therapist said “CBT will be a waste of your time, go for the medication route” which I’m thankful for the honesty.

For those of you looking for a diagnosis with the hopes of medicine go for a psychiatrist and not a psychologist- I can’t tell you the difference or why the NHS won’t accept their opinion but that’s what they said.
 
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My prior diagnosis wasn’t enough for the NHS to prescribe medication so I’m back at the start of the line! I was close to tears on the phone to my GP about it. I was assessed for therapy but the therapist said “CBT will be a waste of your time, go for the medication route” which I’m thankful for the honesty.

For those of you looking for a diagnosis with the hopes of medicine go for a psychiatrist and not a psychologist- I can’t tell you the difference or why the NHS won’t accept their opinion but that’s what they said.
Psychiatrists in the UK are medical doctors who can prescribe medicine and make diagnoses. Whereas it's my understanding that psychologists can't prescribe or diagnose. So that will be why you need the Pyschatrist opinion to really confirm the diagnoisis for the NHS. An annoying hoop for you to jump through to receive help though, I'm sorry :(
 
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Autism & ADHD have become monetised unfortunately. A nice income I would think. Also it's a shame that because of NHS crazy waiting lists, you end up going private yet the NHS diagnosis is la creme de la creme in many people's opinion. Especially in so called support groups. Those with NHS diagnosis are the real deal, whereas if you went private you'd paid for it. That was my experience when I was finding out about my son & myself some years ago.
 
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I'm recently diagnosed via the right to choose route with the NHS. I've done my first month of titration and have basically slept the month away. Did drop a stone in 3 weeks as I wasn't hungry at all.

Tomorrow I start the next phase of my titration with a new drug.

The person who diagnosed me also thinks I may have ASD and dyslexia too but my GP doesn't think it's worth looking at those.
 
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Psychiatrists in the UK are medical doctors who can prescribe medicine and make diagnoses. Whereas it's my understanding that psychologists can't prescribe or diagnose. So that will be why you need the Pyschatrist opinion to really confirm the diagnoisis for the NHS. An annoying hoop for you to jump through to receive help though, I'm sorry :(
Silver lining for me is that I used my health insurance for the psychologist appointment, so I am in a fortunate enough position to be able to pay for the psychiatrist out of my own pocket (via credit card tbh).

Just so annoying that when I booked through the clinic my health insurance fund, the administration team said I could have a prescription based on the results, and then bam just like you said ‘a psychologist can’t prescribe’. I was so baffled because the administration team KNEW I wanted the medication route. Ugh. sorry, just venting. It feels like they stole £750 of my health insurance funding and almost a year of my time from me.
 
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Silver lining for me is that I used my health insurance for the psychologist appointment, so I am in a fortunate enough position to be able to pay for the psychiatrist out of my own pocket (via credit card tbh).

Just so annoying that when I booked through the clinic my health insurance fund, the administration team said I could have a prescription based on the results, and then bam just like you said ‘a psychologist can’t prescribe’. I was so baffled because the administration team KNEW I wanted the medication route. Ugh. sorry, just venting. It feels like they stole £750 of my health insurance funding and almost a year of my time from me.
No don't apologise for venting! It's really disappointing (and annoying) they weren't clear with you and gave you the wrong information. Fingers crossed you're able to get the meds you need soon!
 
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Posting here for a quick advice, will look properly soon but am flailing.
I wrote a long post and accidentally clicked off the page and lost it.

Long story, have touched on some of it in previous post, but just had ehcp applications refused today as no evidence from school.

School has said kids don't need ehcp as are achieving academic milestones.
they're actually not in some cases and school has been disingenuous ref this but there is big risk of the kids not achieving at all due to increased school anxiety and struggling with the environment.
School SENCo and other staff have been really horrible to me, very challenging and treating me like a Munchausens mum and due to my eldest being an expert in masking they just see a quiet and compliant child with attendance issues, so I have zero hope of school engaging with ehcp application based on everything they have already done and said

Both kids are showing traits of my two main inheritable conditions and possible autism too although I haven't been diagnosed all the signs are there

Some physical health stuff too which is impacting absence figures

Both kids are on waiting lists for various assessments and have been quoted at least another year to wait (referred a year ago all based on information solely from me).

Their dad has stated more than once it's all in my head and any of their symptoms are learned behaviour from me and has told them this with back up from his partner who is a medical professional 😭😭😭

I have kept many of my health issues under wraps from the kids (until recently when I could no longer hold it together)
much of my kids' 'stuff' is individual to them and not anything that I experience but is in my wider family who they rarely see due to geography.
The things the kids are exhibiting started from a very very young age and I'd say zero chance of it being copied or learned from me.

So my quick question became an essay.
I can't afford private assessments but might be able to get some financial support from a relativemy actual question is : does anyone know any decent reputable private assessment organisations for kids who are kosher and who's diagnosis would hold up with education and health providers?
Would be ideal to have a one stop shop for things like SPD, autism ADHD, dyslexia dyspraxia etc
Seems to be such a broad range of providers and costs.
Don't want to waste time or money on something nobody will acknowledge but equally Don't feel we can progress without a diagnosis or even just to be told they don't have any of these conditions.

I have been absolutely traumatised trying to manage my increased symptoms for years without being believed and now seeing my children going through the same thing and it really hurts me for them and makes me feel so vulnerable knowing that all involved think it's all coming from me.

They both have very different symptoms/ traits from each other so trying to juggle their needs with my own and constant refereeing where their own symptoms wind each other up.

It's bleeping mayhem in the shawads household, especially when they don't feel safe to unmask anywhere else!
If you get to the end of this post: well done 👏🤣😭
 
Posting here for a quick advice, will look properly soon but am flailing.
I wrote a long post and accidentally clicked off the page and lost it.

Long story, have touched on some of it in previous post, but just had ehcp applications refused today as no evidence from school.

School has said kids don't need ehcp as are achieving academic milestones.
they're actually not in some cases and school has been disingenuous ref this but there is big risk of the kids not achieving at all due to increased school anxiety and struggling with the environment.
School SENCo and other staff have been really horrible to me, very challenging and treating me like a Munchausens mum and due to my eldest being an expert in masking they just see a quiet and compliant child with attendance issues, so I have zero hope of school engaging with ehcp application based on everything they have already done and said

Both kids are showing traits of my two main inheritable conditions and possible autism too although I haven't been diagnosed all the signs are there

Some physical health stuff too which is impacting absence figures

Both kids are on waiting lists for various assessments and have been quoted at least another year to wait (referred a year ago all based on information solely from me).

Their dad has stated more than once it's all in my head and any of their symptoms are learned behaviour from me and has told them this with back up from his partner who is a medical professional 😭😭😭

I have kept many of my health issues under wraps from the kids (until recently when I could no longer hold it together)
much of my kids' 'stuff' is individual to them and not anything that I experience but is in my wider family who they rarely see due to geography.
The things the kids are exhibiting started from a very very young age and I'd say zero chance of it being copied or learned from me.

So my quick question became an essay.
I can't afford private assessments but might be able to get some financial support from a relativemy actual question is : does anyone know any decent reputable private assessment organisations for kids who are kosher and who's diagnosis would hold up with education and health providers?
Would be ideal to have a one stop shop for things like SPD, autism ADHD, dyslexia dyspraxia etc
Seems to be such a broad range of providers and costs.
Don't want to waste time or money on something nobody will acknowledge but equally Don't feel we can progress without a diagnosis or even just to be told they don't have any of these conditions.

I have been absolutely traumatised trying to manage my increased symptoms for years without being believed and now seeing my children going through the same thing and it really hurts me for them and makes me feel so vulnerable knowing that all involved think it's all coming from me.

They both have very different symptoms/ traits from each other so trying to juggle their needs with my own and constant refereeing where their own symptoms wind each other up.

It's bleeping mayhem in the shawads household, especially when they don't feel safe to unmask anywhere else!
If you get to the end of this post: well done 👏🤣😭
Ok for a start (and hello darling from JM threads) it’s NOT in your head. I struggled for YEARS with things thinking it was ‘just me’ and hating myself and never actually knowing anything about what ADHD is. Finding out was like a lightening bolt and I feel so much better about everything now.
My partner has been pretty supportive with me getting treated and diagnosed but he definitely falls into the “everyone has something they could go to a psych and get drugs for” camp, which is frustrating.
He’s also NOT listening to me when I keep saying I think our 11yo son needs assessment. He’s always struggled at school, with his emotions, with awful anxiety in many forms (separation, school, and currently health which is heartbreaking. He’s crying on the reg because he thinks he’s going to get cancer and its so awful)
There might be some worth in going to smaller charities that might not be adhd specific but that can help with some of the comorbid (I hate that word) aspects - so charities that help children with anxiety, as I’ll be looking into, charities that help with dyslexia and dyspraxia etc. I’d also signpost Contact - they’re a national organisation for families of children with disabilities and can help with all sorts, most importantly, support groups for YOU with parents who are in the same situation.
I’m going to be looking into this more myself (firstly the anxiety) and I’ll let you know if I hear anything. We’ll get there!! Xxx
 
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Ok for a start (and hello darling from JM threads) it’s NOT in your head. I struggled for YEARS with things thinking it was ‘just me’ and hating myself and never actually knowing anything about what ADHD is. Finding out was like a lightening bolt and I feel so much better about everything now.
My partner has been pretty supportive with me getting treated and diagnosed but he definitely falls into the “everyone has something they could go to a psych and get drugs for” camp, which is frustrating.
He’s also NOT listening to me when I keep saying I think our 11yo son needs assessment. He’s always struggled at school, with his emotions, with awful anxiety in many forms (separation, school, and currently health which is heartbreaking. He’s crying on the reg because he thinks he’s going to get cancer and its so awful)
There might be some worth in going to smaller charities that might not be adhd specific but that can help with some of the comorbid (I hate that word) aspects - so charities that help children with anxiety, as I’ll be looking into, charities that help with dyslexia and dyspraxia etc. I’d also signpost Contact - they’re a national organisation for families of children with disabilities and can help with all sorts, most importantly, support groups for YOU with parents who are in the same situation.
I’m going to be looking into this more myself (firstly the anxiety) and I’ll let you know if I hear anything. We’ll get there!! Xxx
Thank you for your lovely kind and informative reply. I really appreciate it all the best to you too with your exploration xx
 
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Ok for a start (and hello darling from JM threads) it’s NOT in your head. I struggled for YEARS with things thinking it was ‘just me’ and hating myself and never actually knowing anything about what ADHD is. Finding out was like a lightening bolt and I feel so much better about everything now.
My partner has been pretty supportive with me getting treated and diagnosed but he definitely falls into the “everyone has something they could go to a psych and get drugs for” camp, which is frustrating.
He’s also NOT listening to me when I keep saying I think our 11yo son needs assessment. He’s always struggled at school, with his emotions, with awful anxiety in many forms (separation, school, and currently health which is heartbreaking. He’s crying on the reg because he thinks he’s going to get cancer and its so awful)
There might be some worth in going to smaller charities that might not be adhd specific but that can help with some of the comorbid (I hate that word) aspects - so charities that help children with anxiety, as I’ll be looking into, charities that help with dyslexia and dyspraxia etc. I’d also signpost Contact - they’re a national organisation for families of children with disabilities and can help with all sorts, most importantly, support groups for YOU with parents who are in the same situation.
I’m going to be looking into this more myself (firstly the anxiety) and I’ll let you know if I hear anything. We’ll get there!! Xxx
I went to some training today ref SPD, PDA etc and it was hugely enlightening so I have some resources to follow up and more names and organisations to 'reach out' to, so hoping it will lead to something. Had a good talk with my kids ref what I learned today and my eldest in particular was emphatically agreeing with everything I remembered so I feel like it's a bit of a breakthrough into how I understand my kids and hopefully that will help them to understand themselves better and affectively articulate their needs as well as me being their spokesperson all the time as I just feel I'm winding everyone up with my emotional attempts at advocacy.
I hope you can help find peace for your son. Mine is very very similar and same age
it breaks my heart seeing the anxiety in one so young and the awful parental guilt as a very anxious parent here!
Has recently completed a low level CBT course so we're now at stage of trialling management/ calming strategies which I think will be good for the whole household.

I feel so bad for all the times I haven't understood and lost my rag etc and also learned a lot more about myself and many of my 'quirks' which also all come under this broad SPD umbrella!
And I just realized you said hi from JM threads, what a ride it's been, it has actually really helped me when I've needed stuff to focus on and stop me engaging in less healthy activities! X
 
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I went to some training today ref SPD, PDA etc and it was hugely enlightening so I have some resources to follow up and more names and organisations to 'reach out' to, so hoping it will lead to something. Had a good talk with my kids ref what I learned today and my eldest in particular was emphatically agreeing with everything I remembered so I feel like it's a bit of a breakthrough into how I understand my kids and hopefully that will help them to understand themselves better and affectively articulate their needs as well as me being their spokesperson all the time as I just feel I'm winding everyone up with my emotional attempts at advocacy.
I hope you can help find peace for your son. Mine is very very similar and same age
it breaks my heart seeing the anxiety in one so young and the awful parental guilt as a very anxious parent here!
Has recently completed a low level CBT course so we're now at stage of trialling management/ calming strategies which I think will be good for the whole household.

I feel so bad for all the times I haven't understood and lost my rag etc and also learned a lot more about myself and many of my 'quirks' which also all come under this broad SPD umbrella!
And I just realized you said hi from JM threads, what a ride it's been, it has actually really helped me when I've needed stuff to focus on and stop me engaging in less healthy activities! X
it is such a ride!! Glad you’ve had some positive steps today. I’m looking into an anxiety counsellor next week xx
 
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