Gahh this reminded me of when I ran into a creep I used to work with at a bar. I was so drunk I spent the whole evening flirting with him. Luckily he wasn't interested but I cringe at that memory.Omg this thread gave me the laugh I needed today!
ok, my go.
so many, many moons ago I went to my first office Christmas party. I drank my weight in spirits and proceeded to confess to EVERYONE, including my senior management and directors, my undying love for the oddball, creepy guy working in another department. you know the one that makes chest contact rather than eye contact
I could not have been more repulsed by this man but in my drunken state I told everyone how I fancied the pants off him, he overheard my professions and made excuses that he had a girlfriend (he didn’t) coz I scared him that much. I literally want to die when I think of it, I didn’t last too long in that job afterwards
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I may have left it in the taxiThe last story is bleeping hilarious I laughed out loud lol !! How was your fruit?
not before peeling a banana and attempting to force feed it to the taxi driver 
This was such a great thread 
Attended a job interview at 9 am having been on the white wine with no food from 6pm - 4am
Spewed over my suit on the way in
Spewed in the street on my way out
---
I no longer drink
Spewed over my suit on the way in
Spewed in the street on my way out
---
I no longer drink
I peed my pants (unconsciously) on a sofa when drunk. I only found out about it the next day. Word got out and I was humiliated. I don't think I've ever got over it.
Got kicked out of Subway for dancing on the table... no, there was no music playing
I have no memory of it I only found out about it from my friends the next day so I got over it pretty quick
I have no memory of it I only found out about it from my friends the next day so I got over it pretty quick
When I first started seeing my OH, wasn’t fully together but kind of there type of thing.
Well back then he was proper into his cars!! All his money went on his cars and he’d spend all weekend cleaning them etc.
I’d been for a meal with the girls and accidentally got red wine drunk, he offered to pick me up and take me home.
I gets in his car and out of nowhere I projectile vom red wine vom all over his car, went all on the dash, in the heating vents, all over the windscreen and all in the radio/heating controls.
He dropped me off without saying a word and I rang my friend absolutely hysterical because I really like him and thought I’d messed it all up.
anyways 17 years later we are married and have kids but we still do not talk about the red wine vom, it’s a touchy subject.
Not the most embarrassing thing I’ve done but the one that’s burnt into my brain the most.
Well back then he was proper into his cars!! All his money went on his cars and he’d spend all weekend cleaning them etc.
I’d been for a meal with the girls and accidentally got red wine drunk, he offered to pick me up and take me home.
I gets in his car and out of nowhere I projectile vom red wine vom all over his car, went all on the dash, in the heating vents, all over the windscreen and all in the radio/heating controls.
He dropped me off without saying a word and I rang my friend absolutely hysterical because I really like him and thought I’d messed it all up.
anyways 17 years later we are married and have kids but we still do not talk about the red wine vom, it’s a touchy subject.
Not the most embarrassing thing I’ve done but the one that’s burnt into my brain the most.
Met my ex husband 
Divorced him
Apparently once I had a wee in broad daylight in the street
after an afternoon of drinking with a friend , I have no recommendations of it . Got in a taxi , kicked out the taxi for being sick , went and sat on a wall/fence thing outside Mcdonalds anf fell off it
Divorced him
Apparently once I had a wee in broad daylight in the street
after an afternoon of drinking with a friend , I have no recommendations of it . Got in a taxi , kicked out the taxi for being sick , went and sat on a wall/fence thing outside Mcdonalds anf fell off it 
I don’t drink alcohol anymore, but I’ve done some corkers while drunk.
Best three- visiting London with my best mate, got horrendously drunk in what used to be Yates’ in Leicester Square. Headed back to the night bus stop, and I slipped on a discarded kebab. Fell flat on my bum. Brand new trousers and shoes ended up covered in kebab, and I hurt my foot so next day had to go to hospital and get it x-rayed. The staff got a good giggle when they found out what I had done
Second- this is a good one but I’m going to have to be a bit vague. Went to a sports club function also with said best friend (she’s not the bad influence- I was!) I drank way too much and ended up getting off with someone that I shouldn’t have. I really liked this guy, and my mate liked his mate too. Difference was my mate knew how to just have a laugh with them. I didn’this mate ended up filming it and was going to put it on YouTube until my mate persuaded him not to- but the whole club saw it until the guy who took it eventually left. Something weird later happened though and I ended up getting drunk in the clubhouse and telling everyone this guy who I had kissed was a tit kisser the whole situation was weird. We were way closer than we should have been; and in fact he ended up breaking my heart which I supposed was probably inevitable.
Third- first date with my now husband. I was so nervous that I ended up getting horribly drunk, and when we went to the cinema I fell asleep on him and actually dribbled a bit on his shirtFortunately he saw the funny side- as we’re still together 17 years later and have been married just under 4 years.
Best three- visiting London with my best mate, got horrendously drunk in what used to be Yates’ in Leicester Square. Headed back to the night bus stop, and I slipped on a discarded kebab. Fell flat on my bum. Brand new trousers and shoes ended up covered in kebab, and I hurt my foot so next day had to go to hospital and get it x-rayed. The staff got a good giggle when they found out what I had done
Second- this is a good one but I’m going to have to be a bit vague. Went to a sports club function also with said best friend (she’s not the bad influence- I was!) I drank way too much and ended up getting off with someone that I shouldn’t have. I really liked this guy, and my mate liked his mate too. Difference was my mate knew how to just have a laugh with them. I didn’t
his mate ended up filming it and was going to put it on YouTube until my mate persuaded him not to- but the whole club saw it until the guy who took it eventually left. Something weird later happened though and I ended up getting drunk in the clubhouse and telling everyone this guy who I had kissed was a tit kisser the whole situation was weird. We were way closer than we should have been; and in fact he ended up breaking my heart which I supposed was probably inevitable.Third- first date with my now husband. I was so nervous that I ended up getting horribly drunk, and when we went to the cinema I fell asleep on him and actually dribbled a bit on his shirt
Fortunately he saw the funny side- as we’re still together 17 years later and have been married just under 4 years.
I remember when I was much younger a manager was having a house party and I said I would go.
It was one of my first jobs and I was quite new and a bit socially awkward. I was about 20.
Before I left to go to the house party I had already consumed about two bottles of wine. I arrived and had about four beers and shots.
I have no idea of the full extent of what happened but I remember sitting in a bush outside their house for a little while and also falling in the road. They had to get my phone and call my dad to come and pick me up.
Apparently I was outside for a little while being noisy and when a neighbour told me to be quiet or they will call the police I told them to "f off". I apparently tried to kiss the manager who hosted the party and went around telling everyone how great I thought they were.
I had to work the next day too
It was one of my first jobs and I was quite new and a bit socially awkward. I was about 20.
Before I left to go to the house party I had already consumed about two bottles of wine. I arrived and had about four beers and shots.
I have no idea of the full extent of what happened but I remember sitting in a bush outside their house for a little while and also falling in the road. They had to get my phone and call my dad to come and pick me up.
Apparently I was outside for a little while being noisy and when a neighbour told me to be quiet or they will call the police I told them to "f off". I apparently tried to kiss the manager who hosted the party and went around telling everyone how great I thought they were.
I had to work the next day too
Years ago me and my hubby went out for a meal, as we were about to leave we both popped to the toilets. When I came out I see hubby at the cashpoint machine so I walked over to him, leaned on the cashpoint, staring at the screen I said “ so how much ya got in there then?”
When I looked up it wasn’t my bleeping hubby looking back at me but some random bloke I mistook for him Hubby was waiting at the door for me!
When I looked up it wasn’t my bleeping hubby looking back at me but some random bloke I mistook for him
Hubby was waiting at the door for me!
Deleted my last post as I went back to read the thread and ive posted it before.
So here's another one, it started with me somehow standing on my own foot while on a pole in flares and putting a hole through the top on my foot with my heels and the night ended with my throwing up in the taxi, the taxi man kicking me out and taking my friend to the cash machine where she had to draw 50 quid out to clean the car up, I had no clue what was going on so I was sat crying and panicking on the side of the road, they did bring her back once the money had been paid.. we then had to walk home as I stank and no other taxis would take me 🫣
So here's another one, it started with me somehow standing on my own foot while on a pole in flares and putting a hole through the top on my foot with my heels and the night ended with my throwing up in the taxi, the taxi man kicking me out and taking my friend to the cash machine where she had to draw 50 quid out to clean the car up, I had no clue what was going on so I was sat crying and panicking on the side of the road, they did bring her back once the money had been paid.. we then had to walk home as I stank and no other taxis would take me 🫣
Oh dear … trying to dredge through the memories of my booze and drug addled past here.
A group of us went on a night out for my birthday when I first moved to Belfast. We got talking to a blind guy and his carer. Both of them were pretty drunk as were we, and after a few more shots I suggested we head to my apartment for an after party. The party is in full swing and I’m stood on the balcony chatting to the blind guy, I suggest going in to do a line and he agrees. I grab his hand to head in through the patio doors. The doors however have those vertical slatted blinds on them … I head through the blinds dragging him behind me but he obviously can’t see the blinds and somehow they end up around his neck as I’m pulling him. Everyone is shouting at me about the blinds and I’m just yelling back “ I know he’s blind” . The poor guy was choking and I’m just pulling him harder and harder while a couple of others are trying to untangle him
A group of us went on a night out for my birthday when I first moved to Belfast. We got talking to a blind guy and his carer. Both of them were pretty drunk as were we, and after a few more shots I suggested we head to my apartment for an after party. The party is in full swing and I’m stood on the balcony chatting to the blind guy, I suggest going in to do a line and he agrees. I grab his hand to head in through the patio doors. The doors however have those vertical slatted blinds on them … I head through the blinds dragging him behind me but he obviously can’t see the blinds and somehow they end up around his neck as I’m pulling him. Everyone is shouting at me about the blinds and I’m just yelling back “ I know he’s blind” . The poor guy was choking and I’m just pulling him harder and harder while a couple of others are trying to untangle him
This is more funny than embarrassing... but I got drunk and started dancing to the macarena, but it was saturday night (the song) that was playing. I got confused and was too drunk to notice everyone around me was dancing a completely different dance til halfway through
Last edited:
HowlingYears ago me and my hubby went out for a meal, as we were about to leave we both popped to the toilets. When I came out I see hubby at the cashpoint machine so I walked over to him, leaned on the cashpoint, staring at the screen I said “ so how much ya got in there then?”
When I looked up it wasn’t my bleeping hubby looking back at me but some random bloke I mistook for him
I went to a gay club with my bestie when we were about 20 and he wanted to introduce me to this lad that he'd been seeing for a month. I got bad vibes from this guy the second I met him. He was very good looking but extremely arrogant and something just seemed.. off? He stayed with me and my friend for 20 mins and then he disappeared. I went out for a smoke whilst my friend went looking for him, but he came back without him. At this point, we were both already quite tipsy and thought duck it, let's just go in and have fun. We did more shots, started dancing, having a good time etc. At some point later, I wanted to go for another smoke so as we both stumbled out towards the smoking area.. I saw my friend's boyfriend getting stuck into someone else! Like so blatantly too, he and this guy were sitting on one of couches playing tongue hockey for Ireland. And this is when I saw red, and decided I was going to kick the tit out of this guy (what can say, I'm a loyal friend lol). I think I literally jumped on him. For context though, I'm a 4'11 woman and this guy was a 6ft gym bro Just as I was about to hit him with my shoe, two drag queens dragged me off him saying "Honey, he's not worth it!!" lmaoooo. I was RAGING. I ended up in the dressing room where the drag queens get ready and they were genuinely so nice to me lol. My friend and I still laugh about that night, 8 years later.
Just as I was about to hit him with my shoe, two drag queens dragged me off him saying "Honey, he's not worth it!!" lmaoooo. I was RAGING. I ended up in the dressing room where the drag queens get ready and they were genuinely so nice to me lol. My friend and I still laugh about that night, 8 years later.
I’m actually crying reading thisOh dear … trying to dredge through the memories of my booze and drug addled past here.
A group of us went on a night out for my birthday when I first moved to Belfast. We got talking to a blind guy and his carer. Both of them were pretty drunk as were we, and after a few more shots I suggested we head to my apartment for an after party. The party is in full swing and I’m stood on the balcony chatting to the blind guy, I suggest going in to do a line and he agrees. I grab his hand to head in through the patio doors. The doors however have those vertical slatted blinds on them … I head through the blinds dragging him behind me but he obviously can’t see the blinds and somehow they end up around his neck as I’m pulling him. Everyone is shouting at me about the blinds and I’m just yelling back “ I know he’s blind” . The poor guy was choking and I’m just pulling him harder and harder while a couple of others are trying to untangle him
Not me on this occasion but my Gran
When my mum re-married she had her reception in the function room of a gay pub. My Gran who’d been on her favourite tipple of vodka and pineapple, went off to the toilets following a ‘woman’ in a sparkly dress into the gents
. We laughed it off and thought nothing more of it until she’d not been seen for nearly an hour. I drew the short straw and had to go off to the gents to find her. I go in and nearly get taken out by a flying toilet seat … my Gran had thrown it over he top of the cubicle in temper after spending nearly an hour trying to use it to pry open the door. She was trapped in a cubicle in the gents and in her drunken state thought ripping off the toilet seat to use as a crowbar would be a good plan
Oh and it runs in the family …
My mum got so drunk in a nightclub that we had to be escorted out after she unplugged the DJ equipment because she wanted to sleep. We had to set off walking home because no taxi would take her in that state, and heading through a city park she decided she still wanted to sleep there and then and made a homeless man get off a bench so she could lie down instead. When we got back she raided my housemates freezer stash of steak and cooked and ate the lot despite being a vegetarian for over 20 years at the time.
When my mum re-married she had her reception in the function room of a gay pub. My Gran who’d been on her favourite tipple of vodka and pineapple, went off to the toilets following a ‘woman’ in a sparkly dress into the gents
. We laughed it off and thought nothing more of it until she’d not been seen for nearly an hour. I drew the short straw and had to go off to the gents to find her. I go in and nearly get taken out by a flying toilet seat … my Gran had thrown it over he top of the cubicle in temper after spending nearly an hour trying to use it to pry open the door. She was trapped in a cubicle in the gents and in her drunken state thought ripping off the toilet seat to use as a crowbar would be a good plan Oh and it runs in the family …
My mum got so drunk in a nightclub that we had to be escorted out after she unplugged the DJ equipment because she wanted to sleep. We had to set off walking home because no taxi would take her in that state, and heading through a city park she decided she still wanted to sleep there and then and made a homeless man get off a bench so she could lie down instead. When we got back she raided my housemates freezer stash of steak and cooked and ate the lot despite being a vegetarian for over 20 years at the time.
On a first date, went out for an Indian meal with all his friends. Got so horrendously drunk that I threw up outside against the restaurant window.
We did stay together for 20 years and ended up having 2 children...I've never told them...oh the shame!
We did stay together for 20 years and ended up having 2 children...I've never told them...oh the shame!
i LOVE this thread, i've had tears from laughter