What is your biggest regret?

LM1 said:

Another one... Over the years I've drifted apart from friends, I know this happens but when I look at all these friends they are all still so close to others who we were friends with too. It's the case with most of the different groups, I've obviously come to realise it must be me I don't know what I do wrong, I wish I knew what it was

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Omg I could have written this! I see so many people still in the same friendship groups (even some are still friends from my old friendship group), I know why we aren't friends but it does make me sad that I don't really have those long term friendships everyone else seems to have!


My regrets in life are - wasting so many weekends hungover when I was younger, I wish I'd still gone out & done stuff after a night out instead of laying in my own pity scrolling through Facebook to just find God awful pictures of me with the ugliest men or me doing something ridiculous. I mean, I have some funny memories n stories to tell so it wasn't always a waste but sometimes I look back & think all that free time & disposable income was pissed away on booze & bad decisions.

I'm 28 and I regret that I've spent most of my life hating my body, wishing I was thinner, doing stupid diets & binging. I regret that I have no confidence & very low self esteem. I feel I've wasted my life to look back on pictures of myself & kick myself for having nothing to worry about looks wise but then I'm still in the same cycle hating myself, it really holds me back in life. Sometimes I think if I was just confident & could tell the self doubt to sod off (& not worry about my body so incessantly) that I'd be much further ahead in life than I am now. I don't know. What's frustrating is, I hate this & keep telling myself I need to break the cycle but it's so hard.

sarahboo said:

I'm 28 and I regret that I've spent most of my life hating my body, wishing I was thinner, doing stupid diets & binging. I regret that I have no confidence & very low self esteem. I feel I've wasted my life to look back on pictures of myself & kick myself for having nothing to worry about looks wise but then I'm still in the same cycle hating myself, it really holds me back in life. Sometimes I think if I was just confident & could tell the self doubt to sod off (& not worry about my body so incessantly) that I'd be much further ahead in life than I am now. I don't know. What's frustrating is, I hate this & keep telling myself I need to break the cycle but it's so hard.

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This is me. I’ve missed out on a lot of stuff because of body confidence and low self esteem. I said no to things I wanted to do purely because I hated myself. I still hate myself now so nothing’s changed. This has affected me since I was 12 and started going through puberty. I see people of all sizes living their life and wearing what they want and I wonder why I can’t feel the same

hrh89 said:

This is me. I’ve missed out on a lot of stuff because of body confidence and low self esteem. I said no to things I wanted to do purely because I hated myself. I still hate myself now so nothing’s changed. This has affected me since I was 12 and started going through puberty. I see people of all sizes living their life and wearing what they want and I wonder why I can’t feel the same

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I am honestly so sorry to hear that, it really is such an awful feeling. Sending you lots of love

Buzzbee said:

I think the mum guilt is very real. You have the basics covered and she’s happy and not being harmed, that’s all you can do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The fact that you worry about these things at all means you’re a good mother. I doubt a bad mother would even bother, they’re usually selfish/narcissistic anyway.

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I just want to say for all the "bad mothers" of the thread. As the child of an abusive, narcissist... bad mothers don't worry about being bad mothers!

Meh said:

I try not to have regrets in fairness.

Went to Uni and studied a subject I don’t use in working life. However, having a degree has helped me progress in my current company and succeed with further study. I’m considering studying for a masters in my field or an undergrad (p/t) in engineering. So kind of wish I did engineering at uni BUT I 100% would have packed that in at 18/19.

My only real regret is being so shy and self conscious in my teens/early 20s. I genuinely thought I was ugly, unworthy, a freak etc. But I was not. At all. Have worked very hard on confidence, self love and assertiveness and I’m a very different person in my 30s. Which is great.

Just really wish I didn’t spend my teens and early 20s feeling so fucking badly about myself. That’s the biggest thing I think youngsters (esp girls) need to be educated and coached on: loving themselves for who they are. I truly believe this would reduce the number of girls being taken advantage of and ending up with toxic or abusive partners.

Every woman is a Queen. And needs to own that power and not let (usually men) get the hooks in young and make us question our worth.

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As someone who is about to turn 24 and has spent the last few years figuring things out and feeling lost, you have no idea how much I needed to read this. I've only recently started booting people out of my life who weren't treating me properly (not just men, friends as well).

Being a complete goody-two-shoes teacher's pet melt when at school. I CRINGE when I think back!

Being religious and going to church for the sake of being religious like my family during my teen years and during uni, because I felt I should, not because I actually wanted to or enjoyed it.

Wasting disposable income on tat in my 20s.

Motherofpigs said:

Staying with my ex for so long (7 years), thus wasting most of my 20’s with that loser. We never went anywhere, basically went to work and stayed in the house and that was it. It is all working out though, I have met a new partner who likes to go out and do all the same fun stuff that I like to do and have lost some of the weight I put on when I was with my ex. So i guess things work out in the end.

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Good for you sweetie, im in the process of leaving my current BF who never wants to go out and do anything, so glad you are happier and healthier

I regret quitting a job over a bully (who then left after me).
Wasting my 20s and 7 years on a relationship that just wasn't right.

My biggest regret is being sucked into the world of online gambling. The debt it left me with is like a noose around my neck, not to mention how it wrecked with my head mentally. At my weakest I gambled and lost £1700 in one night, makes me sick to type it I know people out there have far worse stories but for me that's a lot.

I've been completely free for just over 2 years (almost 4 if I don't count a small blip in 2018) thanks to a combination of willpower and signing up to Gamstop. I honestly wish I could go back in time to that first time I did it and just show myself how deep I would end up getting sucked in.

I try to regret as little as possible. Sure there are things I would have done differently with a second chance, but I try not to beat myself up too much.

My biggest regret is losing touch with my best friend. She was like a sister to me. She had it all - married young into a v weatlhy family so she didn't need to work, lovely home, children. Whereas I had no money, single parent, slogging it out. I felt too poor, too working class to compete with all her rich, public school educated pals. So I stopped contacting her. I said to myself I would, once my life was better, when I was thinner, richer, etc. It was never the right time. She didn't do social media, but she had a v unusual name and once a year or so I'd Google her, I thought she might start working again when her kids were teens, or finally join FB or something.

Except what came up the last time I googled her was that she'd died, she was only in her early 40s It's a few years on now since I found out, and that was nearly a year after she died. And I still can't quite believe it. I've lost many others close to me but hers is the one I feel the most regret about.

Prince fan 1999 said:

Not having driving lessons when I was younger. I was so much more confident then. I'm almost 47 and in i couldn't even think about having lessons now. No confidence at all

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If you can afford it please, please don't write off learning to drive. I tried in my teens, couldn't get the hang of it at all. Told myself I just couldn't do it.

Then a few years ago when I was 42 my partner said why didn't I learn, why let the past hold me back? And I did it. Took me 3 tests and a lot of lessons but it's changed my life. You don't realise how amazing it is being able to drive until you can. And honestly if I can pass I'm sure anyone else can do it too

sarahboo said:

I'm 28 and I regret that I've spent most of my life hating my body, wishing I was thinner, doing stupid diets & binging. I regret that I have no confidence & very low self esteem. I feel I've wasted my life to look back on pictures of myself & kick myself for having nothing to worry about looks wise but then I'm still in the same cycle hating myself, it really holds me back in life. Sometimes I think if I was just confident & could tell the self doubt to sod off (& not worry about my body so incessantly) that I'd be much further ahead in life than I am now. I don't know. What's frustrating is, I hate this & keep telling myself I need to break the cycle but it's so hard.

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I understand this I've done the same and done alot of damage to my teeth due to an ED and I just wish I didn't care but i did and still do.

sarahboo said:

I'm 28 and I regret that I've spent most of my life hating my body, wishing I was thinner, doing stupid diets & binging. I regret that I have no confidence & very low self esteem. I feel I've wasted my life to look back on pictures of myself & kick myself for having nothing to worry about looks wise but then I'm still in the same cycle hating myself, it really holds me back in life. Sometimes I think if I was just confident & could tell the self doubt to sod off (& not worry about my body so incessantly) that I'd be much further ahead in life than I am now. I don't know. What's frustrating is, I hate this & keep telling myself I need to break the cycle but it's so hard.

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This is me, and it’s actually really comforting reading everyone’s posts on this. I’ve spent since around 12 years old with body dysmorphia and have been in therapy for it but it wasn’t much help. It’s completely life consuming and exhausting. I look at photos when I felt my worst a few years back and I was thin af. Knowing it’s completely ridiculous and I’m not the beached whale I think I am, I still feel like I can’t fully enjoy life because of these stupid thoughts. It affects everything from your social life to even your performance at work because you’re so consumed by the perception of yourself.

Another one is losing touch with a childhood best friend who commited suicide a couple of years back.

moimoi said:

This is me, and it’s actually really comforting reading everyone’s posts on this. I’ve spent since around 12 years old with body dysmorphia and have been in therapy for it but it wasn’t much help. It’s completely life consuming and exhausting. I look at photos when I felt my worst a few years back and I was thin af. Knowing it’s completely ridiculous and I’m not the beached whale I think I am, I still feel like I can’t fully enjoy life because of these stupid thoughts. It affects everything from your social life to even your performance at work because you’re so consumed by the perception of yourself.

Another one is losing touch with a childhood best friend who commited suicide a couple of years back.

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So sorry to hear about your childhood friend!

Also thank you for sharing your story, I'm in counselling at the minute but she doesn't think I have body dysmorphia even though everything I do & think points towards it. It was other people who actually brought it to my attention that I likely suffer with body dysmorphia. It really does affect every aspect of your life. I am genuinely sorry to hear your struggles with it as it really is so rubbish.

Not the biggest regret but i was just thinking how i kinda wasted uni years being shy/getting used to people instead of making stronger friendships and having fun. But I'm always shy at first when i meet new people/go to new places.
That's why I'm hoping when i relocate (go back to my home country i left 13 years ago) i get to make friends easier and get used to it!

Dating a girl from essex

annanuttall said:

Not standing up for myself with a work bully. This person went mental at me and I just sat there and took it, I also ended up losing my job due to this person. Afterwards, I cried for 6 months every single day. It ruined my self-esteem and confidence. Looking back I should have stood up and said my piece, but I wasn't strong enough. It did teach me that I shouldn't let people walk all over me and to be more confident with myself.

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oh bless you! I went through something similar but I took them to hr and got a little payout. It was my first job after university and i was signed off for 6 months. Took me another 6 months to then find another job.

CrackRatcher said:

Staying in my job because it’s the only hours that work around kids been in school.. I’m so unhappy it’s unreal..

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I hope you find something you love soon

Not listening to my dad when he told me right before I got married, that I didn’t have to do it if I didn’t want to! I got divorced serval years later, and still feel guilty that my parents paid for a wedding that I knew shouldn’t have happened.

- Staying with my ex for too long. He was toxic and I was determined no one could possibly love me (he didn't cause that, it was my own self esteem to be fair). Now I have a gorgeous fiance who is my best friend, so I guess it all leads somewhere!
- Not getting help for my anxiety earlier. I feel like I missed out on a lot of uni life because I was terrified to leave my room most of the time.
- Not saying goodbye to my Gran properly. I really wish I'd just asked my mum for two minutes with her alone to say everything I needed to say. I feel like she knows it anyway, but I didn't want to take any time away from my Mum at the time either. That's the one that really stings, and it was over 5 years ago.

Many years ago I was raped by someone who I knew. I couldn’t tell anyone because of who the man is (powerful and well known). Would have been my word against his, and because this man is very very dangerous, I just know that he would have got off. So, that’s my regret. Sorry if anyone found it triggering.

I regret not having the self-confidence to have a circle of friends

I also know I will regret not having the courage to dump my current boyfriend even though I know we aren’t going to go anywhere.

Alexi92 said:

I regret not having the self-confidence to have a circle of friends

I also know I will regret not having the courage to dump my current boyfriend even though I know we aren’t going to go anywhere.

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Some books you could get to give you the strength and courage - what a time to be alone, what would Alice do? Bitch up expect more get more (all of them by Leslie braswell) you deserve soo much more than settling (from a person who settled) xx