What is your biggest regret?

[Meh]

I try not to have regrets in fairness.

Went to Uni and studied a subject I don’t use in working life. However, having a degree has helped me progress in my current company and succeed with further study. I’m considering studying for a masters in my field or an undergrad (p/t) in engineering. So kind of wish I did engineering at uni BUT I 100% would have packed that in at 18/19.

My only real regret is being so shy and self conscious in my teens/early 20s. I genuinely thought I was ugly, unworthy, a freak etc. But I was not. At all. Have worked very hard on confidence, self love and assertiveness and I’m a very different person in my 30s. Which is great.

Just really wish I didn’t spend my teens and early 20s feeling so fucking badly about myself. That’s the biggest thing I think youngsters (esp girls) need to be educated and coached on: loving themselves for who they are. I truly believe this would reduce the number of girls being taken advantage of and ending up with toxic or abusive partners.

Every woman is a Queen. And needs to own that power and not let (usually men) get the hooks in young and make us question our worth.

 

[ChubClubThug]

Not having driving lessons when I was younger. I was so much more confident then. I'm almost 47 and in i couldn't even think about having lessons now. No confidence at all

My MIL is a very nervous driver (she had lessons in an automatic and a female instructor..) she passed her test in her late 50s after quite a few attempts
- it's never too late!

 

[hrh89]

My degree. I which I’d chosen something with more practical skill tbh. I wish I’d taken a year out between college and uni to really think about what I was doing. Absolutely adored my uni experience do not regret that, just wish I’d put a bit more thought into it rather than just picking a subject I loved.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Sometimes I think about the houses I looked at years ago and didn't buy because there was something so minor wrong with them. My ex and I once looked at a beautiful original terrace in Spitalfields - it was about £25k. We didn't like the area . Wtf were we thinking?
Then moved to Ireland and dismissed a beautiful old house in Dublin that was 3 storeys and lovely. The price was equivalent to £50k. Worth millions now.
We are now separated and I'm still renting
I can't even look at property programmes set in London as I feel such an idiot.

 

[Brunette3232]

I regret everything about my life which is horrible.
I hate my life...I am not happy with any of it!
I hate my house. My mum and dad dragged me up they are completely selfish.
My two sisters are stupid and I cant have a decent conversation with them about anything.
My children just drain me...emotionally...financially. I constantly feel guilty because I feel like a bad mother.
My husband panders to me and enables me to wallow in my self pity. He is useless and would happily live in this shit house and watch TV all day every day if he could.
If I didnt have my kids I would probably just kill myself tbh.
I dont have any close friends either.

 

[LM1]

Another one... Over the years I've drifted apart from friends, I know this happens but when I look at all these friends they are all still so close to others who we were friends with too. It's the case with most of the different groups, I've obviously come to realise it must be me I don't know what I do wrong, I wish I knew what it was

 

[Likkleone]

Having an abortion just over a year ago.
I was living my best life living in Spain independently and had a best friend there who was 20 years older than me (it was a small community and you make friends with people from all different walks of life). We had been friends and one day we confessed our love for one another - quite fairytale like. Despite our differences, we started a passionate and very loved up relationship together and months later I fell pregnant.

We had always spoken about babies. I have been broody since as long as I can remember. But when reality hit, he became so doubtful and scared. I was away from my family and friends. I had no one to turn to but him who was freaking out. I finally told my parents and older brother and my brother mentioned an abortion. From there my partner just went into a spiral and booked an abortion in a Spanish hospital. I had no idea what to do and felt I had no other option but to go. I remember crying my eyes out to the doctor and often wonder why the fuck he didn’t question whether this is really what I wanted. But it’s not his fault.

i have never ever forgiven myself for doing that. I regret it every single day. I’m scared I’ll have issues down the line because of it too.

i have never told anyone the way I feel about this.

 

[F the dust.]

Being too kind, being too soft..letting so many people walk all over me. Not sticking up for myself and learning how to say NO! Sticking in a job way longer than I should have which almost destroyed me.

 

[working9-5]

Since I was 5 I have always wanted to be a Police Officer, but never ever applied as I was too scared of not getting in and my dream being over. I’m now well into my thirties and got to face the fact that I will never be one. Wish I’d have took the plunge

It’s not too late through, you’re still young. Even if you weren’t to get in, at least you tried and you won’t torment yourself for the rest of your life x

 

[Boredofthegram]

Getting married at 23 knowing I didn’t want to but not wanting to embarrass my ex by not going through with it. Not dumping my other ex sooner and putting up with his toxic behaviour for too long. Wasting a lot of money in my youth which meant it took me until the age of 36 to get on the property ladder.

 

[Gossipingoodforthesoul]

My biggest regret is walking out of the pub and never telling him how I truly feel
12 years of what ifs

 

[Fairypop]

Ah, thank you. It wasn't a pity post, I just genuinely don't think I am cut out for motherhood.

I feel the same sometimes, I think most mums do - if they’re actually honest. Children are bloody hard work. They’re incredible & so loved but god they are so TIRING.

 

[Allthevest20]

I regret my degree. I decided it on a whim one July as realised I should get a career and 2 months later I started. Yes it's a degree that guarantees employment but the employment options are limited as I can't really use it for much else, and now I'm trapped as I lost my Mum a few months after passing and then had to get a house etc of my own which I have to pay for obviously....and I'm very unhappy in the career but I can't leave as I cannot lose my home again Scouring indeed is hugely debilitating aswell!

I'm glad I never moved out before I was forced to as meant that I got to spend my whole life living with my Mum

 

[petra23]

Dropping out of university. I hated my course and uni but wish I had transferred to a different uni and changed my course. Instead I ended up just dropping out and being stuck with a £4k maintenance loan to pay back... ended up in a full time job which I absolutely hate, I'm rubbish at it because it does not interest me in any way. I have to remind myself it's money just to get up in the morning.

 

[LittleMy]

I’ve got 3, and every day I feel like I’m failing at motherhood. I wish I had more patience. I have one with ASD and she drains the life out of me. I love them all fiercely. But I am exhausted by them. I wish I was better.

I know that feeling. I used to think I was a patient person until my child presented with ASD. Now my second baby is on the pathway to assessment. On the outside I’ve just been getting on with it but inside I feel heartbroken to be going through it all again with another child.

 

[Wishwash]

I don’t think anyone would bash you for this.

I’m sorry this happened to you and him. That’s really unfair.

it’s great that you have got that toxic group away from you: they weren’t friends and you definitely don’t need them.

Can completely understand you beating yourself up over the years but please don’t. By your post you clearly don’t hold those views and sought to remedy the situation by getting rid of that friend group. Now you know that if you ever met a black/POC man and were interested in a relationship that nothing would hold you back.

Thank you! I look back and think to myself why why why did I ever seek to be friends with them. They were racist to me FFS. I look back sometimes and just get this hot feeling around my neck it makes me so angry.

I look at his insta profile sometimes..I think he's the one who got away....so handsome, so nice, so interesting

The only good thing I have got out of it is that I am now a huge advocate of "if you like her/him/it then you do you". I have a child of my own and think I will strive in my parenting for him to pursue interests and date people and have life experiences that HE wants and tell him in child friendly language to fuck what anyone thinks. If people ask me advice I always put massive emphasis on "but does it make YOU happy?"..but still argh my biggest regret that I didn't stand up for myself, for him, and for being a good person

 

[TinyDancer2602]

Nor do i. I thought id be a natural, but im not. I cant really explore those feelings or ill crumble.

I’ve got 3, and every day I feel like I’m failing at motherhood. I wish I had more patience. I have one with ASD and she drains the life out of me. I love them all fiercely. But I am exhausted by them. I wish I was better.

 

[sarahboo]

Another one... Over the years I've drifted apart from friends, I know this happens but when I look at all these friends they are all still so close to others who we were friends with too. It's the case with most of the different groups, I've obviously come to realise it must be me I don't know what I do wrong, I wish I knew what it was

Omg I could have written this! I see so many people still in the same friendship groups (even some are still friends from my old friendship group), I know why we aren't friends but it does make me sad that I don't really have those long term friendships everyone else seems to have!


My regrets in life are - wasting so many weekends hungover when I was younger, I wish I'd still gone out & done stuff after a night out instead of laying in my own pity scrolling through Facebook to just find God awful pictures of me with the ugliest men or me doing something ridiculous. I mean, I have some funny memories n stories to tell so it wasn't always a waste but sometimes I look back & think all that free time & disposable income was pissed away on booze & bad decisions.

I'm 28 and I regret that I've spent most of my life hating my body, wishing I was thinner, doing stupid diets & binging. I regret that I have no confidence & very low self esteem. I feel I've wasted my life to look back on pictures of myself & kick myself for having nothing to worry about looks wise but then I'm still in the same cycle hating myself, it really holds me back in life. Sometimes I think if I was just confident & could tell the self doubt to sod off (& not worry about my body so incessantly) that I'd be much further ahead in life than I am now. I don't know. What's frustrating is, I hate this & keep telling myself I need to break the cycle but it's so hard.

 

[onmylunchbreak]

I wish I had made more effort with friendships while I was at school. I had a boyfriend, who was a really positive influence on me, but I neglected friendships as a result. Now, I don’t really have a solid group of girlfriends, my friends are scattered around the country from uni, living in different places. None of my close friends really know eachother.
I didn’t enjoy secondary school at all, but I think had I made more effort with my peers I would have had a more enjoyable time of it.

Also regret not trying harder with languages at school. I wish I had studied a language while at university alongside my subject.

otherwise I don’t have many other regrets. I am quite a natural risk taker. I’ve made decisions in my life that at the time friends and family thought I was crazy at the time, but I felt they were right so went ahead anyway. One of those is having my first child at a young age. I knew I would massively regret not having my baby so I found enough bravery somehow and now have an amazing 10 year old, and am married to her dad and had more children together. I’m so glad I made that choice. Just wanted to end on a positive

 

[yankydoo]

Not taking a gap year either before or after Uni. I wanted to take a year out before Uni and re-do one of my A-Levels. I think if I had done that I would have ended up at a better Uni and course. Although I am doing absolutely fine now career wise, so perhaps it worked out.

Breaking up with my amazing ex due to family pressure. I've been single since (1.5 years) and not met anyone who compares one little bit to him. Getting sick of dating and flaky men. Still hopeful it will all work out eventually, but who knows.