I tried to think of more that my husband has had to put up with over the years.
When we were dating and he had stayed over a few times, he’d irked me ever so slightly because he’d thrown his coat on the armchair instead of hanging it up. I’d asked him on previous occasions to pop it in the cupboard under the stairs, hence being mildly irked at the tossing of it onto the chair again. Anyway, he asked if it was ok to have the WiFi password. I began reading it out quickly from the back of the router. Watching him frantically typing trying to keep up amused me so much that I decided to keep going and started adding random characters onto the end. I must’ve gotten to about 20-25 characters before he said “God, this is a bit long!”
I decided to end it there, but I still let him try to connect to the WiFi with the enormous made up password which I knew would fail. I said that I must’ve missed a character out. Funnily enough he said he’d leave it for now.
Only last year he’d done something small to piss me off whilst out shopping so whilst in a branch of The Works I decided to amuse myself. The Works have those island stands, with jigsaws or whatever on them, that you can walk around fully. He’ll pretty much just follow my lead in a shop like that so I walked around one of the stands - he followed. Took my time pretending to look at what was on the stand and slowly made it around the
same stand again - he followed. Tried for a third time around the same stand when he finally piped up “I’m not going round again!”
We have a chalkboard in the hall. We don’t check it daily and previous notes are always left so we don’t notice if there is writing on it. Anyway, as he irks me regularly I always seize an opportunity when one presents itself. I knew that his very conservative mum was popping over at some point that day, so I wrote “*His name* loves big, natural, wobbly tits” on the chalkboard and went to work.
When I got back he said he had only seen what I’d written after his mum had already come into the house. He claims that he offered to make a cuppa as an opportunity to go and rub it off. As he started to wipe it off she turned and abruptly said “I’ve already seen it!”
Lastly, if I’m in the bath and he comes up to tell me to hurry up and get out because he needs the loo, I will deliberately take slightly longer getting out than I would normally do.
Despite all of this, I do love him dearly.
