Oooh it’s a tricky and difficult one isn’t it.
I am having a small wedding and every guest has a plus one, some I know well, some only a year or so, and one person I have no idea who they will bring yet. We just want the people invited to enjoy themselves as much as possible as we are asking them to make such an effort to attend our wedding.
My friend is getting married a couple of months before me and has recently scaled back their plans as they are still really terrified of Covid. It suddenly occurred to me that my fiancé isn’t invited - the invite was addressed to me only. I understand the numbers are limited but I’m kinda offended. She also hasn’t directly said this so I feel like she’s trying to skirt round the issue and imply, rather than being open and honest and tackling it head on.
I have mutual friends attending this wedding but they all have families/long term relationships as well. I’m not sure how they feel about it. Usually I’m not a stickler for wedding etiquette but something about it has rubbed me up the wrong way.. not sure why, I am surprised at my reaction tbh ha. I think it’s the contradiction of wanting us to celebrate their union but not recognising mine? Our friendship has been affected by the pandemic so maybe this is it just petering out and my other irritations just manifesting. I’m not sure. I definitely wouldn’t say anything to her or show my displeasure or anything.
Phew. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest

I did mean to post about this directly but didn’t get around to it!!
I think in your circumstances it’s fair and justified though, and if it’s your mums probably outdated view than any genuine issues raised by your guests directly then I wouldn’t worry. I bet my mum would be the same