I need to make an appointment to give notice of intent… getting hold of the registrars office at my council is another matter though 
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I’m so happy! Totally not the dress I thought it would be (I’d put it on my list to fill a gap as I couldn’t find another one I likedYes!!!! 3 out of 3hope you feel elated! I know I did xxx
) but you really do just know when you find the right one… won’t lie, I’m quite sad it has to go away until after Christmas now. It was from a sample shop, so now it’s just sat in my wardrobe waiting till I can go and see the seamstressWe had a nightmare getting in touch with them both to book the registrar and to give notice.. different local authorities, but both as bad. I ended up calling every 30 mins for most of a day to book our notice appt and spent 2 hours on hold waiting to book the registrarI need to make an appointment to give notice of intent… getting hold of the registrars office at my council is another matter though
Such a waste of time considering the whole appointment was over in 20 minsThis is what I’m finding! I rang 3 weeks ago and they told me the diary was full for November so to ring back on a certain date for December but trying to ring around work is difficult and of course their telephone line is only open certain hours! Such a pain.We had a nightmare getting in touch with them both to book the registrar and to give notice.. different local authorities, but both as bad. I ended up calling every 30 mins for most of a day to book our notice appt and spent 2 hours on hold waiting to book the registrar
I know there’s a review of marriage laws ongoing at the moment that proposes changes like removing the bureaucracy around giving notice and making it possible to do more stuff online and possibly do away with ‘licenced venues’ so you can get married in a garden or at your own house if you want. Have to say it’s well overdue although it’ll be too late for my wedding haha x x
I wish my council had online booking but they only have a telephone line to quite an unhelpful team!
I got a price list from a venue dressing company in the info pack that came with my dress, I was horrified by the prices! But that sounds on a par
Go to Disney in Orlando- it’s a million times better!!!Tbh I only wanted to go to go to disneyland
Hes saying a hard no on that one
TW: miscarriage
OK so I have no where to get this off my chest since I am refusing to talk about it to the people I know IRL because I am worried that they will assume I am a bridezilla but I am so angry and upset at my now ex maid of honour and former friend.
OK so I have no where to get this off my chest since I am refusing to talk about it to the people I know IRL because I am worried that they will assume I am a bridezilla but I am so angry and upset at my now ex maid of honour and former friend.
We have been friends since high school and she for the longest time was my most reliable friend. I knew she had been a bridesmaid before and didn't have the best time and was reluctant to do it again so when me and Mr Banana started discussing getting married, I flagged it with her saying I knew she didn't want to be a bridesmaid again but she quickly volunteered and when the time came she agreed to be my Maid of Honour.
I honestly tried my hardest to be a relaxed bride and the only things my maid of honour needed to do was organise my Hens and pick a dress I was going to pay for. Anyway here is the shortest version of events:
- She is a primary school teacher and works in a low socio-economic area with a lot of disadvantaged kids. I really admire her for it and she spends most of her time talking about her job and her students but lately started to become obsessive about her job - like to a point where some of my other teacher friends said she was far too involved in her student's lives.
- I basically bent over backwards to accommodate her and even though she volunteered to be a bridesmaid, she started fights with me every time I asked her to do something. And it was just so aggressive and manic, I would literally ask her if she had time to check something and she'd send me text after text saying how hard her students have it, how stressed she is, how I don't understand how hard her job is, etc. Like everything was an aggressive attack from her and when I'd back off she'd come around to talk about the wedding.
- My Hens got postponed as my city went into a lockdown and she just outright refused to discuss when we could do it again and started bombarding me again with how difficult her students are having it, how hard her job is and started saying I should just postpone my wedding
- I need to have a second dress for my reception to dance in since my wedding dress is quite long, and she started wanting to wear a second dress too. I changed my mind on my wedding dress style about seven months out and she got angry at me for changing my mind since she was about to buy her second dress (which I never told her to do) and was demanding to wear flip flops at the reception even though I offered to buy her comfortable shoes for the day.
- The final straw came when it was time to buy her actual dress. She was refusing to go to the store to try any on because she didn't want to have to isolate in case she came into contact with covid-19. I offered to buy it online for her to try and she made a huge fuss about it saying she can't afford to (even though I was paying for it). I stopped replying to her texts to deescalate the fight and she went and bought a cheap dress with her own money and kept trying to push me to let her wear it. When my mother told her it wasnt acceptable (to try and help me as I was so stressed), she told my mother to duck off.
- Around this time, I unfortunately had a miscarriage and was struggling with it and my wedding was what was getting me through. She knew this but whenever she refused to do anything with the dress she'd send me message after message swearing at me saying I have an easy life and an easy job (I don't) and how difficult her students have it and how my wedding isnt important to her.
- I finally had enough so I didnt reply but a minute later I got another text saying I was a bad friend because all I did was talk about my wedding (we were two months out at this point and she was my MOH - of course I needed to talk to her) and I got really upset because all I have done for the last few months was try to support her. While I was actively miscarrying I was listening to her complain about work and I tried my hardest not to burden her or ask her to do much. She refused to organise my Hens once we could have it so I had to do it all my self and she refused to come because she was too busy with work.
- I sent her a text saying in the politest way possible that I needed space and I think it's best she attends as a guest rather than be in the bridal party and that I didnt have the energy to support her in the way she needs right now because I was grieving my miscarriage and my father was having heart surgery (which she knew about).
Her response was just to text back "You better ring me to apologise" and I haven't spoken to her since. This was one of my oldest friends and I still have no clue why she was so hostile and aggressive towards me - like my other bridesmaid was horrified and kept saying that I did nothing wrong and if anything, I inconvenienced them trying to accommodate her (they didn't mind).
Anyway, as I have since learned so many people fall out with bridesmaids AND a number of my vendors told me that they have had multiple Maids of Honour from Hell so I guess I am not alone.
I honestly tried my hardest to be a relaxed bride and the only things my maid of honour needed to do was organise my Hens and pick a dress I was going to pay for. Anyway here is the shortest version of events:
- She is a primary school teacher and works in a low socio-economic area with a lot of disadvantaged kids. I really admire her for it and she spends most of her time talking about her job and her students but lately started to become obsessive about her job - like to a point where some of my other teacher friends said she was far too involved in her student's lives.
- I basically bent over backwards to accommodate her and even though she volunteered to be a bridesmaid, she started fights with me every time I asked her to do something. And it was just so aggressive and manic, I would literally ask her if she had time to check something and she'd send me text after text saying how hard her students have it, how stressed she is, how I don't understand how hard her job is, etc. Like everything was an aggressive attack from her and when I'd back off she'd come around to talk about the wedding.
- My Hens got postponed as my city went into a lockdown and she just outright refused to discuss when we could do it again and started bombarding me again with how difficult her students are having it, how hard her job is and started saying I should just postpone my wedding
- I need to have a second dress for my reception to dance in since my wedding dress is quite long, and she started wanting to wear a second dress too. I changed my mind on my wedding dress style about seven months out and she got angry at me for changing my mind since she was about to buy her second dress (which I never told her to do) and was demanding to wear flip flops at the reception even though I offered to buy her comfortable shoes for the day.
- The final straw came when it was time to buy her actual dress. She was refusing to go to the store to try any on because she didn't want to have to isolate in case she came into contact with covid-19. I offered to buy it online for her to try and she made a huge fuss about it saying she can't afford to (even though I was paying for it). I stopped replying to her texts to deescalate the fight and she went and bought a cheap dress with her own money and kept trying to push me to let her wear it. When my mother told her it wasnt acceptable (to try and help me as I was so stressed), she told my mother to duck off.
- Around this time, I unfortunately had a miscarriage and was struggling with it and my wedding was what was getting me through. She knew this but whenever she refused to do anything with the dress she'd send me message after message swearing at me saying I have an easy life and an easy job (I don't) and how difficult her students have it and how my wedding isnt important to her.
- I finally had enough so I didnt reply but a minute later I got another text saying I was a bad friend because all I did was talk about my wedding (we were two months out at this point and she was my MOH - of course I needed to talk to her) and I got really upset because all I have done for the last few months was try to support her. While I was actively miscarrying I was listening to her complain about work and I tried my hardest not to burden her or ask her to do much. She refused to organise my Hens once we could have it so I had to do it all my self and she refused to come because she was too busy with work.
- I sent her a text saying in the politest way possible that I needed space and I think it's best she attends as a guest rather than be in the bridal party and that I didnt have the energy to support her in the way she needs right now because I was grieving my miscarriage and my father was having heart surgery (which she knew about).
Her response was just to text back "You better ring me to apologise" and I haven't spoken to her since. This was one of my oldest friends and I still have no clue why she was so hostile and aggressive towards me - like my other bridesmaid was horrified and kept saying that I did nothing wrong and if anything, I inconvenienced them trying to accommodate her (they didn't mind).
Anyway, as I have since learned so many people fall out with bridesmaids AND a number of my vendors told me that they have had multiple Maids of Honour from Hell so I guess I am not alone.
After the first few bad responses from her, you should have said 'it's too much trouble, clearly, so I'll get someone else.'
All im Going to say here is this - Your wedding is not as important to anyone else as it is to you and (sorry) but I think you are partly to blame in this as well as her. Let’s cut the crap; you clearly didn’t really want her to be your MOH from the get go, did you?
your wedding is 1 day out of your entire life. One day. It’s not worth all this petty drama. Your friend sounds like she’s going through something and actually could do with some support from you, her friend, instead of you harping on about “needing” a second dress or wanting to re-arrange a hen party….. a little perspective is needed here I think.
I know! I was stuck because she was my closest friend but I’m glad I kicked out before she ruined my wedding. I still have people who know the full story telling me I should ring her and talk it out.
Did you miss any of the part where I’ve tried my hardest to support her and did my best to not pressure her until we had to organise something? I was talking to my friend every few days about her problems and listening to her. I only brought up wedding stuff when I had to and I tried so hard to accomodate her.
When I showed her like 10 different dresses, she came up with reason why she didn’t want to wear it. When I suggested hey maybe I’ll just organise the hens it’s no worry I know you are really busy , she went off at me for thinking she was a bad friend (at that point I genuinely was just worried she was stressed and wanted to help)
And of course my wedding isn’t important to anyone but me and my partner. But I don’t think it’s fair to accuse me of being petty and selfish when most of my wedding planning was centred around trying my hardest to not upset or stress out my MOH and still copping it from her.
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I have to disagree here
It sounds like her friend is the one in need of perspective
Imagine having a friend go through something as awful as a miscarriage and using that ad an opportunity to talk about your problems at work.
I actually think it sounds like from the get go that the friend was trying to do ANYTHING to be an inconvenience. I can't get over her saying to postpone your wedding and this whole thing where she wanted a second dress dumbfounded me.
Can I ask @annabananaw10 has she had a wedding fall through or has recently been dumped or something? I do wonder if part of it is jealousy, either about your marriage or the money you have available for the wedding? I can't imagine a teacher at a low economic school to be highly paid.
Yes, someone's wedding isn't the most important thing to everyone else, but if your volunteer to be MOH you should know it DOES take up your time and it does require effort on your part, your job is more than just being there on the day and wearing a dress.
They say you find out who youe true friends are when you get married and when you have kids and this is why, because many friends show some true colours and parts of themselves you didn't know existed.
Plus because a wedding is such an important day (and costs a lot of money let's just be honest) I think we tend to notice things more and worry more about what could ruin the day.
For example, we are have some very select kids at our wedding- our own son, my fiances niece and nephew and my niece - and that's it. My fiances nephew is quite a badly behaved little boy and doesn't tend to do what he's told, were hoping he may grow out of it by 2023, but I'm already over analysing everything that could go wrong, especially as hes a page boy.
I’m so sorry to hear this, after you’ve gone through such a difficult time with your loss it is the last thing you need for a so-called friend to treat you like this.
I think you’ve done the right thing by distancing yourself from her. From what you’ve said she clearly has some issues with her job and they would have eventually come to a head, wedding or not, I’m sure.
Sounds like she would have been a nightmare on the day anyway so it’s probably a better outcome to have this difficulty before your wedding rather than stresses/arguments on the day itself. Some people just can’t deal with the spotlight not on themselves for once! I am having my sisters as bridesmaids, letting them wear what they want and not giving them any other duties to hopefully avoid any drama
I hope you can start to look forward to your wedding day with your other bridesmaid and your family 
And sorry again for your loss.This is where weddings and wedding planning become an absolute circus and a farce.
weddings should cause drama like this. You shouldn’t be worrying 2 years ahead of time about how 1 child may behave on 1 day of that year. That’s madness!!!!!!
huge big circus weddings are pointless and cause far too much stress which just isn’t worth it.
Eek my wedding ring came today! Weddings not until July but it was perfect and on sale so I had to order it 
Booked our photographer today. He was doing a black Friday offer of £450 off the package we wanted so couldn't not pay the deposit today!
Venue deposit paid and save the dates ordered! Eeeek
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