Just got engaged myself and having never even been to a single wedding, this thread is a lifesaver!!!
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Fellow 2022 Italian wedding bride here
Congrats!Congrats!
Yeah it's so scary, my wedding will also be the first one I'll attend haha! Wish I'd been to a couple so I'd know what works and what doesn't, but I guess we'll see. 
Ahh amazing and congrats to you too, where are you getting married?Fellow 2022 Italian wedding bride here
I have a insanly large family so been to tons of weddings an have more to come, a few tips from experiencing so many is
Little baskets in the bathrooms, females had flip-flops, sewing kit, plasters, gel foot things, deodorant etc, males had plasters, heartburn tablets, pain relief gel etc, usually we go to places like primark or the pound store just to keep costs down, honestly the plasters an sewing kit as well as flip-flops were life savers
We were lucky to find a venue for my brother an his partner that included a candy cart an a photo booth, both of those go down a treat an the photo booth photos were printed instantly an went into a book for the bride an groom
Reserching a really good photographer, also making a list of must have photos, unfortunately you forget on the day with so much going on an although my brothers photos were great quality they didn't photograph any guests or any groom an family photos, he never got one just taken with just him an our parents, so make a list of what you want so you don't miss anything, it only happens once, it's also a good idea to find one that will do a rehearsal photo shoot
Rather than favours our family do tiny little spirit bottles for the males an a small cake in the jar for females, both go down well
Also little things that go down well that can be forgotten is a book for guests to sign, or those little hearts that can go in a glass frame
If kids are going, having a "activity wall" is a lifesaver, depending on the venue we could put up some paper an they could draw or if not a little table in the corner with legos, paper an crayons, little cars etc, it is a long day for kids an they do start to get tired an a bit cranky especially when night comes so just having a area where they could do somthing helps a lot
And definitely more than enough notice of where it will be an if any transport is going on, we typically do a bus but the more the notice the better it is, especially if its a no kids, due to the size of our family an because the venue wasn't the biggest (bridezilla wouldn't wait for a bigger one cause it would be 2 more extra months) then my brother couldn't have all the family there so it was decided that second cousins would be a evening invite but cousins as well as the rest of the family would be full day, of course it didn't go down well but it was all we could do, and it gave them more than enough notice to get babysitters worked out of which most either brought the kids at night or watched them to next day
And most importantly remember thats its YOUR day with YOUR partners day, guests are there to enjoy the day, it will be both of you that look back the photos an celebrate the anniversary so don't feel pressured into picking places that might or might not go down well with certain family or have to invite kids/not invite kids because of others
Personally I wouldn't have kids, even though I've a niece, it's a very long day an it's hard trying to keep them going through the day, the get tired an cranky an most are a nightmare when they need to stand for photos and some parents will feed them sugar to shut them up which you can imagine how well that goes down when it hits 9pm, but my family is very strongly kid oriented so all of them have had kids an making a activity area expecially for night is the best thing ever, it keeps them busy an also off the floor where people are either walking back an forth with drinks or dancing etc
Little baskets in the bathrooms, females had flip-flops, sewing kit, plasters, gel foot things, deodorant etc, males had plasters, heartburn tablets, pain relief gel etc, usually we go to places like primark or the pound store just to keep costs down, honestly the plasters an sewing kit as well as flip-flops were life savers
We were lucky to find a venue for my brother an his partner that included a candy cart an a photo booth, both of those go down a treat an the photo booth photos were printed instantly an went into a book for the bride an groom
Reserching a really good photographer, also making a list of must have photos, unfortunately you forget on the day with so much going on an although my brothers photos were great quality they didn't photograph any guests or any groom an family photos, he never got one just taken with just him an our parents, so make a list of what you want so you don't miss anything, it only happens once, it's also a good idea to find one that will do a rehearsal photo shoot
Rather than favours our family do tiny little spirit bottles for the males an a small cake in the jar for females, both go down well
Also little things that go down well that can be forgotten is a book for guests to sign, or those little hearts that can go in a glass frame
If kids are going, having a "activity wall" is a lifesaver, depending on the venue we could put up some paper an they could draw or if not a little table in the corner with legos, paper an crayons, little cars etc, it is a long day for kids an they do start to get tired an a bit cranky especially when night comes so just having a area where they could do somthing helps a lot
And definitely more than enough notice of where it will be an if any transport is going on, we typically do a bus but the more the notice the better it is, especially if its a no kids, due to the size of our family an because the venue wasn't the biggest (bridezilla wouldn't wait for a bigger one cause it would be 2 more extra months) then my brother couldn't have all the family there so it was decided that second cousins would be a evening invite but cousins as well as the rest of the family would be full day, of course it didn't go down well but it was all we could do, and it gave them more than enough notice to get babysitters worked out of which most either brought the kids at night or watched them to next day
And most importantly remember thats its YOUR day with YOUR partners day, guests are there to enjoy the day, it will be both of you that look back the photos an celebrate the anniversary so don't feel pressured into picking places that might or might not go down well with certain family or have to invite kids/not invite kids because of others
Personally I wouldn't have kids, even though I've a niece, it's a very long day an it's hard trying to keep them going through the day, the get tired an cranky an most are a nightmare when they need to stand for photos and some parents will feed them sugar to shut them up which you can imagine how well that goes down when it hits 9pm, but my family is very strongly kid oriented so all of them have had kids an making a activity area expecially for night is the best thing ever, it keeps them busy an also off the floor where people are either walking back an forth with drinks or dancing etc
I donāt know if itās just my family/extended family but never do we ever have children at a wedding. You wouldnāt even think of it really. Maybe a page boy or 2 thatās a nephew but no friends kids etc and as soon as meal is done thereās a babysitter in the hotel room upstairs for them or their taken home! I just got engaged and I DREAD having to Tell all my partners side that under no circumstances are their kids coming 
I already know itās going to be an issue and we will have a few chancers
I already know itās going to be an issue and we will have a few chancers
I donāt get why people make it a row!I donāt know if itās just my family/extended family but never do we ever have children at a wedding. You wouldnāt even think of it really. Maybe a page boy or 2 thatās a nephew but no friends kids etc and as soon as meal is done thereās a babysitter in the hotel room upstairs for them or their taken home! I just got engaged and I DREAD having to Tell all my partners side that under no circumstances are their kids coming
I have a one year old and weāre not really in a position to leave her alone with anyone of an evening, and her bedtime is 8ish so weād have to leave a wedding at 7 anyway. Either we talk to the couple and they facilitate that, or we donāt go? Thatās fine - either way both our needs as a family and theirs as a couple are met - I donāt see the need for a row at all?!
I remember a then (narc) friend getting married who wanted to interview kids before her wedding dayā¦.. the marriage lasted less than a year mb she should have spent more time interviewing the bloke
I need to hear more about this former friend, she sounds psychoticI remember a then (narc) friend getting married who wanted to interview kids before her wedding dayā¦.. the marriage lasted less than a year mb she should have spent more time interviewing the bloke
The home of Britainās favourite pasta dish.. if that gives you a clueAhh amazing and congrats to you too, where are you getting married?
. Postponed from this year so absolutely canāt wait 
It was a truly insane situation and I do feel really very sorry for her in many ways because to behave the way she did just doesnāt suggest inner peace or contentment, or any self esteem or self compassion, but it was really challenging to deal with how she presented herself to the world? I canāt explain speaking to her as any other way than inducing genuine dysmorphia in me, like Iād come off the phone and feel dizzy/out of body like nothing I knew was true cos Iād have been so gas lit over the course of an hour phone call and sheād corroborate lies by dropping other peopleās names in. There was no need to lie to me cos Iām not remotely snobby but I think she was just insecure about where she was in life. I also think she had always compared us (same age) and didnāt like that I was āaheadā in some senses which made her lying about her life much worse.
The marriage was sad really, she pushed it ahead and tbh it could have been to mr potato head for all she cared, just sadly the only men who are willing to let that happen in their early 20s are losers if not actual scum so she found herself in a situation she didnāt really like (no disposable income, small 1 bed flat they couldnāt really afford, partner who just wanted to be an early 20s bloke not a settled 50 something like her) and it broke her own heart in the end.
Although saying this I imagine if theyād used the money for the wedding to put a deposit down on a house out of London (like one of those HTB schemes) theyād probably have managed to stay together, I think sheād have forgiven his cheating if she was financially okay. For a while at least lol. There was a lot of debt at the end of it because their character defects are an inherent lack of honesty with themselves and others I donāt think they realised they couldnāt go out eating out once a week or drinking or buying make up palettes etc like their peers cos they werenāt earning the same or living at home subsidised by parents?
Tbh writing this all out I feel SO sad for her but sheās not a safe person for me to be around sadly! She did go to a handful of therapy sessions after the break up which seemed super promising but then immediately moved onto the next loser partner so āsolvedā that problem so didnāt need them anymore apparently. Imagine itās a challenging situation for all involved.
ā¢ Bride & Groom
ā¢ Good Food, everyone always remembers the food.
ā¢ Good Music.
I had a pick n mix table and a photo booth and people loved those. Also put baskets in the bathrooms, with hair ties, heart burn tablets, hair spray, deodrant, plasters, mints and anything else I could think would be handy. And flip flops went down a treat for guests.
But most of all I had what we wanted, not what everyone else wanted. We had the best day/night and that was all that mattered.
ā¢ Good Food, everyone always remembers the food.
ā¢ Good Music.
I had a pick n mix table and a photo booth and people loved those. Also put baskets in the bathrooms, with hair ties, heart burn tablets, hair spray, deodrant, plasters, mints and anything else I could think would be handy. And flip flops went down a treat for guests.
But most of all I had what we wanted, not what everyone else wanted. We had the best day/night and that was all that mattered.
Box of toiletries at my friends wedding was a life saver. Most venues are not around shops and I started my period (out of no where, was not due) so the basket of tampons was a life saver!
I'm going to put a box of toiletries together.
I doubt we'll do favours
And I'm not decorating the venue with flowers....waste of money.
Everyone has different priorities. You've got to decide on what yours are and budget for everything. Keep a colour coded spreadsheet*
*We planned our big wedding, had to cancel 3 times due to covid now getting married next December. I feel it was a blessing in disguise as there are so many things I will be doing differently this time around
I'm going to put a box of toiletries together.
I doubt we'll do favours
And I'm not decorating the venue with flowers....waste of money.
Everyone has different priorities. You've got to decide on what yours are and budget for everything. Keep a colour coded spreadsheet*
*We planned our big wedding, had to cancel 3 times due to covid now getting married next December. I feel it was a blessing in disguise as there are so many things I will be doing differently this time around
Does any one know how I would go about finding someone to 'decorate' the venue so to speak? Like what do I google. I'm very new to this
Venue dresser, event dressing - something along those lines. Lots of venues have their own packages or will allow you to DIY it. Sometimes the marquess or chair and table hire people (if you go that route) will have their own dressing options. I think generally itās more common for it to come as a package as part of something else