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I think they are being unfair to you, to be honest, and I hope that you will delegate some of the cancelling chores, @Geranium, when the time comes. Until then, I really encourage you to take good care of yourself and treat yourself whether it’s a good book, a nice bottle of Malbec, or a moisturiser! Little treats really help, I find, and remember, as our @Miscanthus says, we are always here and very much listening.
My lovely friends….thank you xxx
If Elsie is “sooo happy” with her life, why does she constantly post photos of other people’s front doors, houses and gardens on her Instagram Stories?
The potato doth protest way too much!
The potato doth protest way too much!
Sorry, you bunch of beautiful humans, I clearly posted this on the wrong thread!If Elsie is “sooo happy” with her life, why does she constantly post photos of other people’s front doors, houses and gardens on her Instagram Stories?
The potato doth protest way too much!
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I think there’s a malfunction on the time Tardis! Hope you are having a good weekend, @Geranium - it is a glorious day here in Dublin but obviously nothing as glorious as Northamptonshire
Weeeeerrrlllll….better late than never! I have just read through all the posts I have missed. I was oblivious and it just goes to show what happens when you don’t remember to check in when you should! I have given myself a jolly good kick in the shins..by way of apology!
Dearest Geranium
Your lot are selfish! None of them are considering your feelings or your position or your well-being. If they aren’t happy they should not get married and they should acknowledge you for all the concern, effort and indeed money you have so kindly spent. Also, when you do nothing - nothing happens! So doing nothing is infuriating and not expedient. It’s cost you a fortune so far and they are seemingly impervious to that. In addition your sister will be spending a small fortune coming over to attend. If they do marry you will still be worrying they aren’t happy. This is a no win situation and the love hearts are the heartbreaking cap on the man! I really feel for you! Isn’t it odd how just a small thing like that has the power to unleash a whole torrent of feelings? They know you are sensitive! A bit of sensitivity from them would not go amiss would it? I feel a bit miffed on your behalf as you can probably see…I know what I have written isn’t useful but I think you have been put in an untenable situation. My shin kicking skills are entirely at your disposal; if you want to despatch the culprits I will be happy to oblige!
Dearest Namima
I have been thinking of you so much. Your posts have been even more spectacular lately (if that was even possible). How is your father now you have gone home? I know you will know we are all there for you. It‘s such a time of quiet reflection and introspection. I really hope you are being kind to yourself at the moment and spoiling yourself as much as possible. I am only 3 inches tall so will quite easily fit in your pocket as your pocket rocket if you need a tiny bit of extra support in this area. I can easily get someone to post me to you!
Dearest @Milking Keynes -
Just shut your teenagers in a lockable cupboard and get on the ferry with Gem NOW!
In fact can someone work out a way we can all get together please? I often think how lovely it would be for us lot (@Miscanthus has just had a tax rebate so no excuses!) to meet up for a long weekend. I get teary just thinking about it. Big sigh xx
Enter @MissMidnight and @Namima SL
Miss Midnight and Namima (in unison): Oh! Yes! Absolutely - we are just popping over to UK for a long weekend…
I was thinking it might make a lovely screenplay to actually write about how we all found each other and then met up!
Dearest Geranium
Your lot are selfish! None of them are considering your feelings or your position or your well-being. If they aren’t happy they should not get married and they should acknowledge you for all the concern, effort and indeed money you have so kindly spent. Also, when you do nothing - nothing happens! So doing nothing is infuriating and not expedient. It’s cost you a fortune so far and they are seemingly impervious to that. In addition your sister will be spending a small fortune coming over to attend. If they do marry you will still be worrying they aren’t happy. This is a no win situation and the love hearts are the heartbreaking cap on the man! I really feel for you! Isn’t it odd how just a small thing like that has the power to unleash a whole torrent of feelings? They know you are sensitive! A bit of sensitivity from them would not go amiss would it? I feel a bit miffed on your behalf as you can probably see…I know what I have written isn’t useful but I think you have been put in an untenable situation. My shin kicking skills are entirely at your disposal; if you want to despatch the culprits I will be happy to oblige!
Dearest Namima
I have been thinking of you so much. Your posts have been even more spectacular lately (if that was even possible). How is your father now you have gone home? I know you will know we are all there for you. It‘s such a time of quiet reflection and introspection. I really hope you are being kind to yourself at the moment and spoiling yourself as much as possible. I am only 3 inches tall so will quite easily fit in your pocket as your pocket rocket if you need a tiny bit of extra support in this area. I can easily get someone to post me to you!
Dearest @Milking Keynes -
Just shut your teenagers in a lockable cupboard and get on the ferry with Gem NOW!
In fact can someone work out a way we can all get together please? I often think how lovely it would be for us lot (@Miscanthus has just had a tax rebate so no excuses!) to meet up for a long weekend. I get teary just thinking about it. Big sigh xx
Enter @MissMidnight and @Namima SL
Miss Midnight and Namima (in unison): Oh! Yes! Absolutely - we are just popping over to UK for a long weekend…
I was thinking it might make a lovely screenplay to actually write about how we all found each other and then met up!
Please write the screenplay- I was actually contemplating a trip to Dublin!! XxWeeeeerrrlllll….better late than never! I have just read through all the posts I have missed. I was oblivious and it just goes to show what happens when you don’t remember to check in when you should! I have given myself a jolly good kick in the shins..by way of apology!
Dearest Geranium
Your lot are selfish! None of them are considering your feelings or your position or your well-being. If they aren’t happy they should not get married and they should acknowledge you for all the concern, effort and indeed money you have so kindly spent. Also, when you do nothing - nothing happens! So doing nothing is infuriating and not expedient. It’s cost you a fortune so far and they are seemingly impervious to that. In addition your sister will be spending a small fortune coming over to attend. If they do marry you will still be worrying they aren’t happy. This is a no win situation and the love hearts are the heartbreaking cap on the man! I really feel for you! Isn’t it odd how just a small thing like that has the power to unleash a whole torrent of feelings? They know you are sensitive! A bit of sensitivity from them would not go amiss would it? I feel a bit miffed on your behalf as you can probably see…I know what I have written isn’t useful but I think you have been put in an untenable situation. My shin kicking skills are entirely at your disposal; if you want to despatch the culprits I will be happy to oblige!
Dearest Namima
I have been thinking of you so much. Your posts have been even more spectacular lately (if that was even possible). How is your father now you have gone home? I know you will know we are all there for you. It‘s such a time of quiet reflection and introspection. I really hope you are being kind to yourself at the moment and spoiling yourself as much as possible. I am only 3 inches tall so will quite easily fit in your pocket as your pocket rocket if you need a tiny bit of extra support in this area. I can easily get someone to post me to you!
Dearest @Milking Keynes -
Just shut your teenagers in a lockable cupboard and get on the ferry with Gem NOW!
In fact can someone work out a way we can all get together please? I often think how lovely it would be for us lot (@Miscanthus has just had a tax rebate so no excuses!) to meet up for a long weekend. I get teary just thinking about it. Big sigh xx
Enter @MissMidnight and @Namima SL
Miss Midnight and Namima (in unison): Oh! Yes! Absolutely - we are just popping over to UK for a long weekend…
I was thinking it might make a lovely screenplay to actually write about how we all found each other and then met up!
I was too but Teddy Bear is now 17 and we can’t bear to be parted and I don’t think he could do the journey. I did say that if Johnny won his case I would be tipping up to Dublin. I dream of doing that! Such fun
Hear, Here,’Ere and Ear - I also feel the same for @Geranium - so not fair to her at all. So glad you said that - I just feel there is a lack of sensitivity that is beyond. I think we are on the same page - you, me and @Miscanthus and God knows, we can’t all be wrong. Sending so much support, @Geranium - but, in the words of Donna Summer/Barbra StreisandWeeeeerrrlllll….better late than never! I have just read through all the posts I have missed. I was oblivious and it just goes to show what happens when you don’t remember to check in when you should! I have given myself a jolly good kick in the shins..by way of apology!
Dearest Geranium
Your lot are selfish! None of them are considering your feelings or your position or your well-being. If they aren’t happy they should not get married and they should acknowledge you for all the concern, effort and indeed money you have so kindly spent. Also, when you do nothing - nothing happens! So doing nothing is infuriating and not expedient. It’s cost you a fortune so far and they are seemingly impervious to that. In addition your sister will be spending a small fortune coming over to attend. If they do marry you will still be worrying they aren’t happy. This is a no win situation and the love hearts are the heartbreaking cap on the man! I really feel for you! Isn’t it odd how just a small thing like that has the power to unleash a whole torrent of feelings? They know you are sensitive! A bit of sensitivity from them would not go amiss would it? I feel a bit miffed on your behalf as you can probably see…I know what I have written isn’t useful but I think you have been put in an untenable situation. My shin kicking skills are entirely at your disposal; if you want to despatch the culprits I will be happy to oblige!
Dearest Namima
I have been thinking of you so much. Your posts have been even more spectacular lately (if that was even possible). How is your father now you have gone home? I know you will know we are all there for you. It‘s such a time of quiet reflection and introspection. I really hope you are being kind to yourself at the moment and spoiling yourself as much as possible. I am only 3 inches tall so will quite easily fit in your pocket as your pocket rocket if you need a tiny bit of extra support in this area. I can easily get someone to post me to you!
Dearest @Milking Keynes -
Just shut your teenagers in a lockable cupboard and get on the ferry with Gem NOW!
In fact can someone work out a way we can all get together please? I often think how lovely it would be for us lot (@Miscanthus has just had a tax rebate so no excuses!) to meet up for a long weekend. I get teary just thinking about it. Big sigh xx
Enter @MissMidnight and @Namima SL
Miss Midnight and Namima (in unison): Oh! Yes! Absolutely - we are just popping over to UK for a long weekend…
I was thinking it might make a lovely screenplay to actually write about how we all found each other and then met up!
Enough is Enough OMG - I would love if y’all came to Dublin - Imagine? We would have the craic - I honestly do believe we will all get together one day!
@Namima, like @Oops said - hoping you are coping with the loss of your mum - I understand that your priority is your dad but this is also a huge loss for you. We have spoken about grief a bit on our threads and Mothers Day is a really profound one for us, so I can appreciate the rawness of your grief. Look after yourself and remember that we are here.
For my part - I’m trying to keep a certain teenage boy from my daughter’s bedroom - I feel like I haven’t read the memo on what is considered acceptable in this scenario - I spent the afternoon with my sister actually afraid to go home and face it! Eventually arrived home and her younger sister told me that they have been in her bedroom all afternoon? Mr MK was at a rugby match and, anyway, there is no way I would share that information with him because a) he would go ballistic, and b) he would wonder why I hadn’t stopped it.
My sister thinks young love is everything as she is with her partner since they met in college at 19. My daughter’s bf is lovely, well mannered- and - as you all know - she has had severe anxiety issues and an actual breakdown, so .. a blind eye for the greater good? I don’t know. I’ve looked after the contraceptive side but I just feel the ick about the entire afternoon? I dunno, back in the day, it was a furtive fumble.. but a whole afternoon? And what does that say to the younger sister?
Listen, I know it’s no big deal and thank you for listening but you know those moments when you’re not quite sure what way to react in unchartered territory. On the one hand, we hid everything from our parents and, on the other, it’s maybe too in your face? Anyway, lots love to all of you this weekend - as I said before, the climate will be nothing compared to Moll Dives / Northamptonshire but we will live in hope
This is a simple one my darling. I heartily recommend the three-pronged attack method (below) which worked so well for me two hundred years ago…This method has been sitting on my shelf of ‘Useless advice no-one wants’ for donkeys years. Sustainability is a wonderful think you know…Hear, Here,’Ere and Ear - I also feel the same for @Geranium - so not fair to her at all. So glad you said that - I just feel there is a lack of sensitivity that is beyond. I think we are on the same page - you, me and @Miscanthus and God knows, we can’t all be wrong. Sending so much support, @Geranium - but, in the words of Donna Summer/Barbra Streisand
OMG - I would love if y’all came to Dublin - Imagine? We would have the craic - I honestly do believe we will all get together one day!
@Namima, like @Oops said - hoping you are coping with the loss of your mum - I understand that your priority is your dad but this is also a huge loss for you. We have spoken about grief a bit on our threads and Mothers Day is a really profound one for us, so I can appreciate the rawness of your grief. Look after yourself and remember that we are here.
For my part - I’m trying to keep a certain teenage boy from my daughter’s bedroom - I feel like I haven’t read the memo on what is considered acceptable in this scenario - I spent the afternoon with my sister actually afraid to go home and face it! Eventually arrived home and her younger sister told me that they have been in her bedroom all afternoon? Mr MK was at a rugby match and, anyway, there is no way I would share that information with him because a) he would go ballistic, and b) he would wonder why I hadn’t stopped it.
My sister thinks young love is everything as she is with her partner since they met in college at 19. My daughter’s bf is lovely, well mannered- and - as you all know - she has had severe anxiety issues and an actual breakdown, so .. a blind eye for the greater good? I don’t know. I’ve looked after the contraceptive side but I just feel the ick about the entire afternoon? I dunno, back in the day, it was a furtive fumble.. but a whole afternoon? And what does that say to the younger sister?
Listen, I know it’s no big deal and thank you for listening but you know those moments when you’re not quite sure what way to react in unchartered territory. On the one hand, we hid everything from our parents and, on the other, it’s maybe too in your face? Anyway, lots love to all of you this weekend - as I said before, the climate will be nothing compared to Moll Dives / Northamptonshire but we will live in hope
1) Buy a blunderbuss.
2) Show it (secretly) to said very nice spotty youth
3) Threaten (convincingly) to use it using the word ‘smite’ as frequently as possible when your moment of great oratory arrives.
4) Take Gem and get on ferry!
5) Place younger daughter with Sister Purity at the Convent of the Little Sisters of the Skint on your way to the ferry.
I always found that placing a pulpit on the landing worked well too.
I am sending you a very fine pair of blind eyes in the post. They were the ones that I used to turn every day when I walked past them and are as good as new - all things considered. They are blue so I know they will suit you…
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@Milking Keynes oh no, young love/sex, I feel for you!
when I was growing up things were simple, boys were never allowed in my bedroom. Even when I was engaged. Not that it stopped me having sex but it wasn’t in the family home with mum and dad around. I honestly think that would have given me the ick though!
my dad did however make me feel extra marital sex was filthy and disgusting and I never wanted my kids to feel like that. It’s a hard thing to balance.
I wonder how your daughter would feel if you and Mr MK decided to spend an afternoon romping in your bedroom while she was around?
I imagine she might be shocked, because sex is only for the young after all
my daughters sheer HORROR when they realised that their old parents still indulged was hysterical
In the end me and Mr G sort of compromised on no sleepovers at ours unless relationship was well established (mainly because we wanted to get to know a boy before encountering him in his underwear on the landing) but even that had us branded incredibly old fashioned!
I hope you get through this minefield dear friend, there really is no right way - you just have to hope for the best.
And buy a blunderbuss and a pulpit!
when I was growing up things were simple, boys were never allowed in my bedroom. Even when I was engaged. Not that it stopped me having sex but it wasn’t in the family home with mum and dad around. I honestly think that would have given me the ick though!
my dad did however make me feel extra marital sex was filthy and disgusting and I never wanted my kids to feel like that. It’s a hard thing to balance.
I wonder how your daughter would feel if you and Mr MK decided to spend an afternoon romping in your bedroom while she was around?
I imagine she might be shocked, because sex is only for the young after all my daughters sheer HORROR when they realised that their old parents still indulged was hysterical
In the end me and Mr G sort of compromised on no sleepovers at ours unless relationship was well established (mainly because we wanted to get to know a boy before encountering him in his underwear on the landing) but even that had us branded incredibly old fashioned!
I hope you get through this minefield dear friend, there really is no right way - you just have to hope for the best.
And buy a blunderbuss and a pulpit!
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Thank you very much, @Oops and @Geranium for your advice. I am preparing my shopping list as we speak - blunderpuss, pulpit, ferry ticket (blind eyes in post, courtesy @Oops), prodded fork and letter of admission posted to Sr. Purity. Job done! Thank you both for making me laugh so much - you sometimes have to when you realise the absurdity of the situation. Right - I know what to do now. Onward and upward. XO
Darling - @Milking Keynes I’m not going to need this on the landing any more so I am having it delivered to you.
I will be thinking of you xx
Thank you ladies for your lovely messages. I am so happy we have each other to vent and ask for advice.
My heartbroken dad is not doing well. He has literally aged overnight. He says he feels lost. My parents spent all day, every day together. And so to find a new normal, is proving to be especially difficult for him.
We have arranged for him to speak to a grief counsellor, suprisingly, he agreed to doing so. He had previously spoken to a Cancer counsellor while my mum was in hospital ("She made me cry" was his response to our question how did it go
)
So that is a step in the right direction.
I, on the other hand, just seem to be blocking my emotions, which I know is wrong, but I feel if I start crying, I may not stop. I'm just taking it day by day.
Sending each and every one of you lovely ladies lots of love xoxoxo
My heartbroken dad is not doing well. He has literally aged overnight. He says he feels lost. My parents spent all day, every day together. And so to find a new normal, is proving to be especially difficult for him.
We have arranged for him to speak to a grief counsellor, suprisingly, he agreed to doing so. He had previously spoken to a Cancer counsellor while my mum was in hospital ("She made me cry" was his response to our question how did it go
)So that is a step in the right direction.
I, on the other hand, just seem to be blocking my emotions, which I know is wrong, but I feel if I start crying, I may not stop. I'm just taking it day by day.
Sending each and every one of you lovely ladies lots of love xoxoxo
Oh, Namima - I am sorry.Thank you ladies for your lovely messages. I am so happy we have each other to vent and ask for advice.
My heartbroken dad is not doing well. He has literally aged overnight. He says he feels lost. My parents spent all day, every day together. And so to find a new normal, is proving to be especially difficult for him.
We have arranged for him to speak to a grief counsellor, suprisingly, he agreed to doing so. He had previously spoken to a Cancer counsellor while my mum was in hospital ("She made me cry" was his response to our question how did it go
So that is a step in the right direction.
I, on the other hand, just seem to be blocking my emotions, which I know is wrong, but I feel if I start crying, I may not stop. I'm just taking it day by day.
Sending each and every one of you lovely ladies lots of love xoxoxo
It’s a terrible time for you. If I was you, I would be livid that my mum was taken before you even had time to process her illness at all let alone the seriousness of it. Very tough - you miss her, your dad misses her, your kids miss her. I think it’s normal to be numb and put your feelings on the back burner while you prioritise your dad and deal with your family and everyday responsibilities. I think the brain goes into survival mode in order to compartmentalise for your own health.
It might take some time before you can truly grieve - I think I said before on this thread that I was so busy looking after my mum after my dad died that I didn’t get to grieve properly until she died. Grief is a horrible thing - no avoiding it and no knowing when it’s going to hit - I wish you nothing but love and all the very, very best on this rollercoaster of pain, dear friend. My heart goes out to you but remember - we are here and you can share anything and everything.
Going in search of the new rest of your life is never a journey we choose is it? There is a good book by Judith Viorst called Necessary Losses. It’s sprinkled with humour, trenchant insight and not a few funny poems. She discusses the many losses we all go through during the course of a lifetime. She does help shine a light on each situation in a thought provoking way. I had a verse from one of her poems written on my office wall at home many years ago as it always made me smile to read it in those days. I will share it: in this chapter she is discussing love and hate in the married state and this is the sixth verse in a really funny poem depicting the loss of unbridled passion…Thank you ladies for your lovely messages. I am so happy we have each other to vent and ask for advice.
My heartbroken dad is not doing well. He has literally aged overnight. He says he feels lost. My parents spent all day, every day together. And so to find a new normal, is proving to be especially difficult for him.
We have arranged for him to speak to a grief counsellor, suprisingly, he agreed to doing so. He had previously spoken to a Cancer counsellor while my mum was in hospital ("She made me cry" was his response to our question how did it go
So that is a step in the right direction.
I, on the other hand, just seem to be blocking my emotions, which I know is wrong, but I feel if I start crying, I may not stop. I'm just taking it day by day.
Sending each and every one of you lovely ladies lots of love xoxoxo
Oh somewhere there are lovely little boudoirs
With Porthault sheets and canopies and whips
He lion hunts in Africa at weekends
She measures thirty-three around the hips…
She goes into the loss of loved ones in the book and I think you may find a resonance in her words. Your father might do too. I will send you a photo of it. My copy is battered because it’s been so well read over the years.
I hope it may help a little. Sending huge hugs xxx
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