Vignettes and Pets

[Milking Keynes]

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Darling - @Milking Keynes I’m not going to need this on the landing any more so I am having it delivered to you. I will be thinking of you xx

Oh, dearest cousin, @Oops - what a glorious and most unexpected gift! As you know, I am a servant of the Church of England and cannot thank you enough - oh, what glory and respite the altar has been for my poor nerves.

I am wondering, dearest cousin, if I might even donate it to the Bishop of Bath and Winklespoop and, indeed, find a nice vicar for my troubled Lizzie, in exchange? Of course, I would love to keep this magnificence all to myself - but Mr. Bennet is, as you know, a most difficult and contrary individual. One would need, like myself, the patience of a saint and truth be told!

There might be some transaction of mutual convenience. It is most certainly a glorious piece with which you have betrothed me. I am of the certainty that there is not a cathedral that would not vie for this magnificent pulpit from which to blow, admonish, spew and damn better than this one, dear heart!

However, you understand the difficulties that face your poor, troubled, cousin, as always - Oh, how I would love to donate but have so many responsibilities and daughters - unmarried - so many - Oh, dear! I would discuss further but a dropcloth is being administered and I am not one to interfere with medical science.

I hope to hear from you soonest. Yours, Elizabeth Bonnet-Bennet.

 

[Geranium]

Thank you ladies for your lovely messages. I am so happy we have each other to vent and ask for advice.
My heartbroken dad is not doing well. He has literally aged overnight. He says he feels lost. My parents spent all day, every day together. And so to find a new normal, is proving to be especially difficult for him.
We have arranged for him to speak to a grief counsellor, suprisingly, he agreed to doing so. He had previously spoken to a Cancer counsellor while my mum was in hospital ("She made me cry" was his response to our question how did it go )
So that is a step in the right direction.
I, on the other hand, just seem to be blocking my emotions, which I know is wrong, but I feel if I start crying, I may not stop. I'm just taking it day by day.

Sending each and every one of you lovely ladies lots of love xoxoxo

I feel so very sad for you and your dad. My own dad was much the same but he did eventually start to take some pleasure in life again, making little changes in the house that mum would never have allowed!
Grief is such a horrible, horrible thing. We have no choice but to endure it. I know friends who have lost parents that they did not have loving relationships with, and they grieved for a love they never knew.
I hope you can have a good cathartic cry one day soon, it might help a little.
Sending you love and hoping you feel us with you in spirit xxx

 

[Milking Keynes]

So, so agree. I was thinking of @blueorchid recently and the guilt that comes with ‘choosing a career’ or ‘being so far away’ and I honestly wanted to tell her - it makes no difference, at all.

I was with my mum three times a week, my siblings saw her - well, one of them never, one of them once every two years, and one maybe every three weeks? I still have way more guilt than any of them because of what I did say - they only have regret for what they didn’t. I love this thread - I really do - and I hope @blueorchid pays us a visit.

 

[Miscanthus]

Thank you ladies for your lovely messages. I am so happy we have each other to vent and ask for advice.
My heartbroken dad is not doing well. He has literally aged overnight. He says he feels lost. My parents spent all day, every day together. And so to find a new normal, is proving to be especially difficult for him.
We have arranged for him to speak to a grief counsellor, suprisingly, he agreed to doing so. He had previously spoken to a Cancer counsellor while my mum was in hospital ("She made me cry" was his response to our question how did it go )
So that is a step in the right direction.
I, on the other hand, just seem to be blocking my emotions, which I know is wrong, but I feel if I start crying, I may not stop. I'm just taking it day by day.

Sending each and every one of you lovely ladies lots of love xoxoxo

Dear Namima, I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug. Your father must be devastated but how great that he is willing to see somebody and allow the tears to flow.
Do you think it's something you should do?
I know I tried to work (commute, busy job, deadlines) my way through my mother's death and block out the pain, but the truth is you never get over the death of your mum. You just learn to live with it.
I'm not much help, I'm afraid, but you know we are all thinking of you. Any time you need us we will be here. Sending hugs

 

[Oops...]

Have there been any comforting developments @Geranium ? You’ve been on my mind…

 

[Geranium]

Have there been any comforting developments @Geranium ? You’ve been on my mind…

We found out a week ago the wedding is off.
We don’t know how either of them feel about that.
His mum seems to be under the impression it may still go ahead. She hasn’t told her family as she still seems to think a final decision hasn’t been made. We don’t know if they still consider themselves engaged or even a couple.
We have told our family and I’m gradually trying to tell friends but it’s hard as they ask “how are they feeling?” “What happens next?” Etc and I have no answers.
My daughter seems fine and is busy working and running and basically getting on with life. I genuinely don’t know if she is broken hearted but bravely carrying on or relieved the wedding is off and planning a future without him or anything in between. Because I don’t know I am floundering, is my support needed? I’m lost.
He booked a foreign holiday for them both with friends a mere few weeks ago and they are apparently going ahead with that.
they are still living together as although he’s leaving his job he still has to work up here until end of July
I asked if he was job hunting and he said he was giving himself time.
I have been struggling with another bout of severe anxiety and depression/ suicidal thoughts prior to this and I’m not coping well so I’m going to be back on medication hopefully just for a short period.
Yesterday I gathered together all the wedding stuff I have in my house (table decor, hen party stuff, stuff for a sweetie table, favours, cake stuff, those bloody love heart sweets!!! etc) to go to a charity shop and I found the box with her veil in it. I felt like I’d been punched. She hasn’t mentioned the dress or veil and I can’t face brining it up yet.
I have asked him to take the stuff to charity and not the shop I volunteer in otherwise I’ll go in on Monday and it will all be waiting for me to price and put on display
My husband, his mum, my other daughter and myself are all distraught, confused, worried, sad and in the dark.
Thank you for asking xxxx

 

[Hi there]

@Geranium Oh all of this must be so so upsetting and heartbreaking for all especially you. I so wish I could do/say something that brings comfort to you. I’ll be praying for you, lots of hugs xxxx

 

[Oops...]

We found out a week ago the wedding is off.
We don’t know how either of them feel about that.
His mum seems to be under the impression it may still go ahead. She hasn’t told her family as she still seems to think a final decision hasn’t been made. We don’t know if they still consider themselves engaged or even a couple.
We have told our family and I’m gradually trying to tell friends but it’s hard as they ask “how are they feeling?” “What happens next?” Etc and I have no answers.
My daughter seems fine and is busy working and running and basically getting on with life. I genuinely don’t know if she is broken hearted but bravely carrying on or relieved the wedding is off and planning a future without him or anything in between. Because I don’t know I am floundering, is my support needed? I’m lost.
He booked a foreign holiday for them both with friends a mere few weeks ago and they are apparently going ahead with that.
they are still living together as although he’s leaving his job he still has to work up here until end of July
I asked if he was job hunting and he said he was giving himself time.
I have been struggling with another bout of severe anxiety and depression/ suicidal thoughts prior to this and I’m not coping well so I’m going to be back on medication hopefully just for a short period.
Yesterday I gathered together all the wedding stuff I have in my house (table decor, hen party stuff, stuff for a sweetie table, favours, cake stuff, those bloody love heart sweets!!! etc) to go to a charity shop and I found the box with her veil in it. I felt like I’d been punched. She hasn’t mentioned the dress or veil and I can’t face brining it up yet.
I have asked him to take the stuff to charity and not the shop I volunteer in otherwise I’ll go in on Monday and it will all be waiting for me to price and put on display
My husband, his mum, my other daughter and myself are all distraught, confused, worried, sad and in the dark.
Thank you for asking xxxx

Oh no! I am soooo sad to hear all this. All that effort, planning and cost to you and now this. Why on earth do they not communicate with you? It seems particularly cruel. I hate the thought of you harbouring all this sadness and being so anxious. I think you deserve a frank and full disclosure of exactly what’s what and whats going on. My shin-kicking services were never more available to you than now. Xxx

 

[Namima]

We found out a week ago the wedding is off.
We don’t know how either of them feel about that.
His mum seems to be under the impression it may still go ahead. She hasn’t told her family as she still seems to think a final decision hasn’t been made. We don’t know if they still consider themselves engaged or even a couple.
We have told our family and I’m gradually trying to tell friends but it’s hard as they ask “how are they feeling?” “What happens next?” Etc and I have no answers.
My daughter seems fine and is busy working and running and basically getting on with life. I genuinely don’t know if she is broken hearted but bravely carrying on or relieved the wedding is off and planning a future without him or anything in between. Because I don’t know I am floundering, is my support needed? I’m lost.
He booked a foreign holiday for them both with friends a mere few weeks ago and they are apparently going ahead with that.
they are still living together as although he’s leaving his job he still has to work up here until end of July
I asked if he was job hunting and he said he was giving himself time.
I have been struggling with another bout of severe anxiety and depression/ suicidal thoughts prior to this and I’m not coping well so I’m going to be back on medication hopefully just for a short period.
Yesterday I gathered together all the wedding stuff I have in my house (table decor, hen party stuff, stuff for a sweetie table, favours, cake stuff, those bloody love heart sweets!!! etc) to go to a charity shop and I found the box with her veil in it. I felt like I’d been punched. She hasn’t mentioned the dress or veil and I can’t face brining it up yet.
I have asked him to take the stuff to charity and not the shop I volunteer in otherwise I’ll go in on Monday and it will all be waiting for me to price and put on display
My husband, his mum, my other daughter and myself are all distraught, confused, worried, sad and in the dark.
Thank you for asking xxxx

Oh @Geranium I am sending you the tightest hug !!! I wish I could wipe away all your anxiety and fears.
I am so terrible at expressing my emotions, but please know, I think of all of you, my friends, throughout the day, and am so grateful for you all.

 

[Geranium]

I can’t tell you how much your kindness means to me. I have been able to talk to you guys here more frankly than anyone else. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you xxxx

 

[Milking Keynes]

We found out a week ago the wedding is off.
We don’t know how either of them feel about that.
His mum seems to be under the impression it may still go ahead. She hasn’t told her family as she still seems to think a final decision hasn’t been made. We don’t know if they still consider themselves engaged or even a couple.
We have told our family and I’m gradually trying to tell friends but it’s hard as they ask “how are they feeling?” “What happens next?” Etc and I have no answers.
My daughter seems fine and is busy working and running and basically getting on with life. I genuinely don’t know if she is broken hearted but bravely carrying on or relieved the wedding is off and planning a future without him or anything in between. Because I don’t know I am floundering, is my support needed? I’m lost.
He booked a foreign holiday for them both with friends a mere few weeks ago and they are apparently going ahead with that.
they are still living together as although he’s leaving his job he still has to work up here until end of July
I asked if he was job hunting and he said he was giving himself time.
I have been struggling with another bout of severe anxiety and depression/ suicidal thoughts prior to this and I’m not coping well so I’m going to be back on medication hopefully just for a short period.
Yesterday I gathered together all the wedding stuff I have in my house (table decor, hen party stuff, stuff for a sweetie table, favours, cake stuff, those bloody love heart sweets!!! etc) to go to a charity shop and I found the box with her veil in it. I felt like I’d been punched. She hasn’t mentioned the dress or veil and I can’t face brining it up yet.
I have asked him to take the stuff to charity and not the shop I volunteer in otherwise I’ll go in on Monday and it will all be waiting for me to price and put on display
My husband, his mum, my other daughter and myself are all distraught, confused, worried, sad and in the dark.
Thank you for asking xxxx

@Geranium, I was honestly holding off asking you about the wedding until the end of the month, knowing that D-day was June 1. So - the wedding is off. At last, you have been informed. I’m irrationally vexed on your behalf; the lack of communication, the lack of thought for the guests who had planned to travel and the lack of appreciation for the amount of work you put into planning the wedding. It’s maddening, to be honest.

I think you and your husband and other daughter have every right to be confused and sad - along with his mum too. It’s all very messy and vague. Why are they going on holiday together? Why hasn’t one of them moved out? Why do they have to stay together until July because of his job? Why haven’t they broken up - properly - if taking the huge step to cancel the wedding? No wonder his mum believes it will go ahead. All the signs are that the relationship is still on!

I cannot understand their thought process at all. It seems selfish and oblivious. I can perfectly understand why the anxiety that previously dogged you has returned. It is grief, frustration, loss and confusion. I would be desperately upset too and I feel that they haven’t even figured your feelings into the equation. I don’t want to criticize your daughter too much, though, because she might feel that the more casual she appears, the less you will worry.

I really feel for you - I really do. The questions and explanations are exhausting and draining most especially as you have no definitive answers to offer. Try to be as honest as possible and say outright that you don’t even know, yourself, and that you are just trying to pass on the information that the wedding is off and that you have no further explanation.

The most important person is you. Manage your meds, look after yourself, feel loved and treasured by us because you are a wonderful, strong, insightful person who we value as a friend. You have done everything perfectly and with meticulous attention to detail now spend all that same energy on yourself. Sending lots and lots of love and support your way. Xxx

 

[Namima]

Omg guys, it's been raining nonstop here for 2 days and we are experiencing flooding again !!! Pls keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

 

[Miscanthus]

We found out a week ago the wedding is off.
We don’t know how either of them feel about that.
His mum seems to be under the impression it may still go ahead. She hasn’t told her family as she still seems to think a final decision hasn’t been made. We don’t know if they still consider themselves engaged or even a couple.
We have told our family and I’m gradually trying to tell friends but it’s hard as they ask “how are they feeling?” “What happens next?” Etc and I have no answers.
My daughter seems fine and is busy working and running and basically getting on with life. I genuinely don’t know if she is broken hearted but bravely carrying on or relieved the wedding is off and planning a future without him or anything in between. Because I don’t know I am floundering, is my support needed? I’m lost.
He booked a foreign holiday for them both with friends a mere few weeks ago and they are apparently going ahead with that.
they are still living together as although he’s leaving his job he still has to work up here until end of July
I asked if he was job hunting and he said he was giving himself time.
I have been struggling with another bout of severe anxiety and depression/ suicidal thoughts prior to this and I’m not coping well so I’m going to be back on medication hopefully just for a short period.
Yesterday I gathered together all the wedding stuff I have in my house (table decor, hen party stuff, stuff for a sweetie table, favours, cake stuff, those bloody love heart sweets!!! etc) to go to a charity shop and I found the box with her veil in it. I felt like I’d been punched. She hasn’t mentioned the dress or veil and I can’t face brining it up yet.
I have asked him to take the stuff to charity and not the shop I volunteer in otherwise I’ll go in on Monday and it will all be waiting for me to price and put on display
My husband, his mum, my other daughter and myself are all distraught, confused, worried, sad and in the dark.
Thank you for asking xxxx

So sorry to hear this. It's a very sad situation but has been dragging on. I wish I could scoop you up
I don't have much to add to what the others have said. I do feel cancelling has got to be for the best while they sort out how they feel about their future, together or apart.
I'm wondering if your daughter didn't chat to you because she could see you were not in a great place, although the situation seems to have exacerbated your anxiety anyway.
I really hope they learn that open, honest communication is the best approach and all this burying heads in the sand has not helped anybody.
Going back on meds is a really sensible decision. You need to put your own health first xx
You don't need to be in a rush to deal with the wedding items and certainly not the veil. Maybe just parcel it up and give it to her discreetly or hold into it for now.
I hope you feel better soon and that this is all resolved.

 

[Milking Keynes]

Omg guys, it's been raining nonstop here for 2 days and we are experiencing flooding again !!! Pls keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

My God, I saw the footage - horrific - especially around Umdloti beach. I hope everyone was evacuated safely. Sending love, @Namima.

 

[Oops...]

Dearest Namima it’s one thing after the other. The world has gone utterly mad hasn’t it? It’s too much. You were in my thoughts anyway but even more so now again. Please keep us informed if you can xxx

 

[Oops...]

My God, I saw the footage - horrific - especially around Umdloti beach. I hope everyone was evacuated safely. Sending love, @Namima.

I looked too and it’s so frightening/upsetting!

 

[Geranium]

Omg guys, it's been raining nonstop here for 2 days and we are experiencing flooding again !!! Pls keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Oh no, how terrifying. Praying so hard for you dear friend xxx

 

[Namima]

Thank you so much
2022 is really playing games with us

 

[Oops...]

How have you got on this week @Geranium? Has it got any easier/ better for you? I have been thinking about you and glad to see the odd post off yours show up from time to time.

Are you coming to Kitchen Disco tonight? I’m taking the train down and will be leaving for the station in an hour. I have made myself some marmalade sandwiches and filled a thermos with Irish Stew (for the journey).

Sending big hugs xxx



@Namima how is your father, how are the weather conditions and mostly how are you? Some amazing photos drops from you this week! You have really caught some hum dingers and our friend who appears cracks me up!

Sending much love (I STILL haven’t been able to manifest the monkeys from your lovely garden to appear in mine btw! ) xxx

 

[Milking Keynes]

How have you got on this week @Geranium? Has it got any easier/ better for you? I have been thinking about you and glad to see the odd post off yours show up from time to time.

Are you coming to Kitchen Disco tonight? I’m taking the train down and will be leaving for the station in an hour. I have made myself some marmalade sandwiches and filled a thermos with Irish Stew (for the journey).

Sending big hugs xxx



@Namima how is your father, how are the weather conditions and mostly how are you? Some amazing photos drops from you this week! You have really caught some hum dingers and our friend who appears cracks me up!

Sending much love (I STILL haven’t been able to manifest the monkeys from your lovely garden to appear in mine btw! ) xxx

Yes! I also want to know how @Geranium is doing and @Namima too - sending love to both.

@Miscanthus - safe travel tomorrow and enjoy a wonderful holiday.

@Oops I’m not sure you will be doing much dancing tonight - marmalade sandwiches with Irish Stew.... might I gently persuade you to consider Irish soda bread as an alternative? Perhaps without marmalade? My dear buddy, I don’t want to see your disco moves compromised by dicky tummy?

I, myself, will be in pink spandex bodysuit, freshly permed hair and feather earrings. Just so you can picture me. Later, guys!