Certainly not me!
Is that people who end up cooking non-vegan stuff for their families?
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Is that people who end up cooking non-vegan stuff for their families?
possibly Idk . Commenter was basing off something she saw on reality tv.I would say that most ppl won't do that as a general rule and if they want non meat they cook it themselves. Having said that though I was angry (still am tbh) when my friend gave up being a vegetarian when she moved in with her now husband because he was military and ate a lot of meat. IDK my partner smokes but i can;t see him ever insisting i start nor has he asked me to give up drinking because he doesn'. To me it's all the same.
I would say some but i'd hesitate to go further into a lot or most territory..
Definitely not me! When I still lived with my family I shared a fridge with them, they are all non-vegans (not even veggie). After multiple fights and me getting VERY upset after my brother kept putting raw chicken and meat on "my" shelf in the fridge (next to cut open melon! wtf) I got permission from my parents to get my own fridge.
I live alone now for quite a while and my household is definitely cruelty free. I would also never cook up meat for family. Each their own, but it's not for me. I could never, I would get incredibly upset and probably start crying.
Well, they're not vegan if that's what they do.
I'm vegan and cook meat for my partner who eats a stereotypical 'western' diet. How does this mean I'm not vegan?
Handling and cooking animal products is basically condoning animal exploitation and abuse. I understand that it's tricky when those close to you are not vegan, but it's still hard to understand why you would do this. If you kill an animal but don't eat it yourself, you still killed it.
I'm still vegan though. I've been with my partner a long time, we both have very busy lifestyles, if for the 1 meal we eat together a day is protein with veg, and I can cook a chicken breast for him, then I will. He often shares my vegan meals because he genuinely likes them, and ofc that's easier. I have made the decision to be vegan for myself, I wouldn't dream of forcing it on my partner.
I don't think we should judge either other's life choices too much when it comes to veganism and how to other people handle social settings. Everybody is different and I'm sure everybody is doing the best they can.
I also know vegans who buy meat and other animal products for their partner, because they say if they don't their partner will and they share a bank account it's just a different person picking it up. Or when you pizza and one person wants pizza with salami for example, would you just leave it at the door so that the partner can pick it up themselves?
I understand it's different than actually cooking it up, but I understand that when living together with non-vegans lines can get a bit blurry and sometimes it's just not worth it to make a fuss about every single detail.
As I said before, a lot of us are not able to do this, but I do think we shouldn't judge vegans who do things we wouldn't do too harshly. I think that by sticking up for animals we shouldn't put each other down but rather listen to each other and listen to their choices and why. We can learn from each other. I think within the vegan community there is a lot of judgement and almost a competition of who is the most vegan and who does it better.
Please note I'm not calling out anyone specifically here (I understand it may look like it, but honestly I'm not!).
I think @ShadesMint is doing a lot and has found a way to incorporate veganism into their life with a non-vegan partner and I think we need to keep in mind that living with non-vegans is not always easy and I respect couples who have found ways to respect each other's life choices.
I am interested though, @ShadesMint , how is it for you living with someone who does not share your beliefs and your morals? Personally when I lived with my non-vegan family I thought it was incredibly difficult. I kept feeling anger, intense sadness and also a lot of internal conflict between wanting to say something but also wanting to respect their life choices. How do you navigate that? Especially when you feel comfortable even cooking meat for your partner? Do you just switch of that part of your brain? Because I even felt uncomfortable seeing cooked meat on the stove. All I could see was a dead cow laying there cooked up. Not good for the mental health. Do you not suffer from it mentally?
I know it sounds very close-minded but I just can't picture myself in a relationship with a non-vegan. Vegetarian would be okay (just not in my house), but that is where I draw the line. What I seek in a partner is a shared view on things like this, things that make me who I am.
I am interested to hear what other people here think about this? Let's have an open conversation?
I also know vegans who buy meat and other animal products for their partner, because they say if they don't their partner will and they share a bank account it's just a different person picking it up. Or when you pizza and one person wants pizza with salami for example, would you just leave it at the door so that the partner can pick it up themselves?
I understand it's different than actually cooking it up, but I understand that when living together with non-vegans lines can get a bit blurry and sometimes it's just not worth it to make a fuss about every single detail.
As I said before, a lot of us are not able to do this, but I do think we shouldn't judge vegans who do things we wouldn't do too harshly. I think that by sticking up for animals we shouldn't put each other down but rather listen to each other and listen to their choices and why. We can learn from each other. I think within the vegan community there is a lot of judgement and almost a competition of who is the most vegan and who does it better.
Please note I'm not calling out anyone specifically here (I understand it may look like it, but honestly I'm not!).
I think @ShadesMint is doing a lot and has found a way to incorporate veganism into their life with a non-vegan partner and I think we need to keep in mind that living with non-vegans is not always easy and I respect couples who have found ways to respect each other's life choices.
I am interested though, @ShadesMint , how is it for you living with someone who does not share your beliefs and your morals? Personally when I lived with my non-vegan family I thought it was incredibly difficult. I kept feeling anger, intense sadness and also a lot of internal conflict between wanting to say something but also wanting to respect their life choices. How do you navigate that? Especially when you feel comfortable even cooking meat for your partner? Do you just switch of that part of your brain? Because I even felt uncomfortable seeing cooked meat on the stove. All I could see was a dead cow laying there cooked up. Not good for the mental health. Do you not suffer from it mentally?
I know it sounds very close-minded but I just can't picture myself in a relationship with a non-vegan. Vegetarian would be okay (just not in my house), but that is where I draw the line. What I seek in a partner is a shared view on things like this, things that make me who I am.
I am interested to hear what other people here think about this? Let's have an open conversation?
I was of the same mindset before I got together with my omni partner many years ago. I'm quite a moderate vegan by the community's standards and believe in changing people's minds and behaviours more gently, mainly through sharing food and having non-judgemental conversations. Obviously lots of people respond to a more militant approach, but I certainly wasn't one of them when I still ate meat. I don't think your choice/view is 'wrong' in any way, it's completely understandable.
The reality is, there was not a lot of vegan or vegetarian single people in my area to date in the first place, and relationships are so much more nuanced than having shared beliefs on something like veganism. My partner eats meat, but he's also one of the most caring people I know, always willing to go out of his way to make sure others are ok. Over the years, he started eating far more vegan meals, mainly due to my influence. He is now interested in trying new vegan foods and going to completely vegan restaurants.
I think it will become more complicated when we eventually move in together. I don't love the idea of having animal products in my fridge, and shared finances mean that some of my money could end up being spent on them. I don't believe that you can force someone to become vegan, it's something they have to come around to themselves. Frankly, I don't think he will become vegan but it doesn't particularly matter to me. I find myself more focused on activism at a policy level now, such as working to end animal subsidies and making sure public places like hospitals have a vegan option to choose in the first place.
I have a vegetarian partner and over time (10 years) I've become more that way. I now don't cook meat at home anymore but will order it when out if I fancy some. The way I currently eat now for health reasons ( cholesterol) 99% of the time is 'vegan with oily fish' which isn't worth discussing with anyone and I'll eat with those parameters in mind when out IF I can, otherwise I'll deviate back into a bit of dairy or red meat if unavoidable while dining out. These days it's so easy to make other choices. That might change . It's a fluid thing and no label is possible. I assume many others are doing similar. I know lots of true vegans who take the moral stance and that's different to what I'm doing. My partner is nearly 30 years vegetarian but not a label reader so if you're being picky even he isn't truly so. He will be buying the odd thing with an animal ingredient (chips in animal fat - he never asks) sour cream etc. Rennet in cheeses.
I knew my first comment on this subject was problematic, but I decided to post it anyway. I think it's a very complex and ambiguous topic, and the comments that have come up because of it are so interesting. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. But I agree, definitions are not effective even for strict vegans, as there will always be areas where it is impossible not to harm any being. Of course I, too, have people in my close circle that are not vegan. However, I differentiate between relations I was born into and those I choose myself. For me, it would be hard or impossible to tolerate a partner who consumes animal products. I would not want them in my home, and I would not want to handle them. Of course it's an act of love and respect if you take your partner as he is, but still. I can't imagine spending my life with someone who doesn't share my core values. The fact that many (I assume) ethical vegans are able to accept animal cruelty in others for the reason that diet is personal, you don't try to change people, etc., shows just how little value the lives of animals still have even in the minds of vegans. We are still so conditioned that animal exploitation is just a normal part of life (as of course, unfortunately, it is), and that it's not something we can call others out on without being disrespectful or unreasonable. If we saw animal abuse on a par with issues like racism, domestic violence, or child abuse, we would probably not be able to just tolerate it and say, well, that's just how my partner is, I support him in it. Animals are still at the bottom of the list in the collective unconscious. I really wonder how long it is going to take to change this.
Hopefully this won't come across in any way as combative as I respect your viewpoint, but do you find that this ends up creating an echo chamber at all? I remember people a few years back signing up to the Liberation Pledge where they wouldn't eat at a table that was also serving meat, and a few people mentioned that this had caused issues with family etc.
I can't help but think that if we restrict our social circle to the point where we are only associating with any depth with other vegans, we're preaching to the converted. It also seems to encourage the view that vegans are 'other'.
No, I agree with you. I don't want to sever ties to friends and family (or anyone) either because of this. But this is because there are still too few vegans and the mentality of society is too contrary. Vegans would completely isolate themselves (and not be able to educate by example), which is simply unrealistic and detrimental. It's so frustrating that the very large group of exploited animals is represented by a vulnerable minority. There needs to come a tipping point when animal rights are more widely recognized. At this moment, it's an impossible situation to navigate, you just cannot win. I was trying to say, that it is emotionally not okay for me to share my life intimately with someone holding a different opinion on this subject. But it's still a dichotomy I cannot resolve in many areas of my life.
I come from quite a rural area, I recently moved to a city but I don't know many people here apart from the few I already knew before moving here. I don't know any other real life vegans. I don't even know anyone who is vegetarian. If I were to cut out all non-veggie/vegans, I would be all alone in this world.
What kind of life is that?
I think we can hold onto and practise our morals and at the same time engage with those who do not share out views. At first I struggled with it, but after years I have come to realize it's most important to not force your diet and morals onto someone else when they are not open to it. In stead, I have learned that it means more to slowly and lovingly bring my values and views to them. I gently tell them how I feel about certain things and I have noticed that throughout the years a lot of people around me have changed their views a little bit. I see they are much more gentle when it comes to animals and I have noticed they have become open to eating vegetarian or vegan meals once or twice a week. It may not be a lot, but I see it as progress. For example, my dad would kill any animal in his sight at first, but now I notice he doesn't anymore. He used to refuse to even try to eat vegetarian or vegan meats, but now he has a couple he thinks that are "alright" (alright = high praise for my dad, he is not easily impressed when it comes to food lol). The same goes for my brother.
I have baked vegan cakes or banana bread for my friends in the past, and I even got a couple of them asking for recipes because they or their partners (very very much non-veg) liked it so much.
I know on the big scale it's not a lot of change, but I see it as progress when people become more open-minded about it throughout the years and understand/accept it more.
When I got really angry and upset with people I noticed they closed off pretty quickly and wouldn't listen to what I was saying.
It's a difficult world to navigate isn't it?
It's difficult to do the right thing when so many people think it's wrong what you are doing. I just don't understand how they think what I am doing, not harming animals, is NOT the right thing to do and that harming animals IS the right thing to do.
As someone who is very ill, I frequently get emails or articles mailed to me why I should quit my vegan "diet" because they are sure it's the cause of my illness. Sorry but what do you even know? They have no idea what I eat, what I consume, what I do. Also, I got ill way way before I went vegan, so that doesn't even hold up. But when I tell them, they still tell me it would be better to just eat animals again. No, it's not. The things I'm dealing with don't even have anything to do with the food I do or do not eat.
It's just weird that at this point all my doctors say it's totally fine to eat vegan yet people around me think they are some kind of doctor telling me to quit being vegan because that sure as hell will solve all my issues
Anyone else here ever dealing with this? People blaming all your life problems on you being vegan?
What kind of life is that?
I think we can hold onto and practise our morals and at the same time engage with those who do not share out views. At first I struggled with it, but after years I have come to realize it's most important to not force your diet and morals onto someone else when they are not open to it. In stead, I have learned that it means more to slowly and lovingly bring my values and views to them. I gently tell them how I feel about certain things and I have noticed that throughout the years a lot of people around me have changed their views a little bit. I see they are much more gentle when it comes to animals and I have noticed they have become open to eating vegetarian or vegan meals once or twice a week. It may not be a lot, but I see it as progress. For example, my dad would kill any animal in his sight at first, but now I notice he doesn't anymore. He used to refuse to even try to eat vegetarian or vegan meats, but now he has a couple he thinks that are "alright" (alright = high praise for my dad, he is not easily impressed when it comes to food lol). The same goes for my brother.
I have baked vegan cakes or banana bread for my friends in the past, and I even got a couple of them asking for recipes because they or their partners (very very much non-veg) liked it so much.
I know on the big scale it's not a lot of change, but I see it as progress when people become more open-minded about it throughout the years and understand/accept it more.
When I got really angry and upset with people I noticed they closed off pretty quickly and wouldn't listen to what I was saying.
It's a difficult world to navigate isn't it?
It's difficult to do the right thing when so many people think it's wrong what you are doing. I just don't understand how they think what I am doing, not harming animals, is NOT the right thing to do and that harming animals IS the right thing to do.
As someone who is very ill, I frequently get emails or articles mailed to me why I should quit my vegan "diet" because they are sure it's the cause of my illness. Sorry but what do you even know? They have no idea what I eat, what I consume, what I do. Also, I got ill way way before I went vegan, so that doesn't even hold up. But when I tell them, they still tell me it would be better to just eat animals again. No, it's not. The things I'm dealing with don't even have anything to do with the food I do or do not eat.
It's just weird that at this point all my doctors say it's totally fine to eat vegan yet people around me think they are some kind of doctor telling me to quit being vegan because that sure as hell will solve all my issues
Anyone else here ever dealing with this? People blaming all your life problems on you being vegan?
Yes I think vegans end up being subject to so much unnecessary scrutiny and are expected to be the perfect picture of health, and anything less is blamed on the diet. It's always the people with awful diets themselves who are most vocal as well!
I take offence at this tbh, I'm vegan mainly for health reasons but I also care about animal rights/animal cruelty and OF COURSE I exclude all animal products from my diet/body. How does this mean that I don't value the lives of animals because my partner eats meat? Or because I am with someone who chooses to eat meat? My partner being a meat eater doesn't mean I think he is a bad person, or that he doesn't care about animals either. My partner is tolerant of my diet, he will very happily share vegan meals with me, eat at vegan restaurants, etc but when we do go out as long as there is a vegan option I'm not fussed and neither is he. I'm a laid back person, I think it would be very miserable to be so intolerant of others, where does it end? Some vegans don't allow food in their fridge, find it difficult watching family members eat meat. I sit in a busy staff room on my lunch break at work, I'm the only vegan, if I took offence at what others were eating it would just be uncomfortable and awkward? So my question is why be offended? Just let them eat what they want. I'm not eating the food myself, they made that choice. I'm not 'accepting' animal cruelty at all by doing this. What would be the alternative? Refuse to eat in the same room as them? Remind them they are eating a dead animal while they tuck into their chicken?
I was just thinking about the conversations we've been having here.
I am interested to hear from you guys how you guys would feel working in a supermarket for example or a distribution center of any other food-related establishment? In that kind of work you are often handling with animal products.
For example, selling/packing/distributing them etc.
I know some would say take a different job, but that's not really possible for everybody is it? Often these kinds of jobs still get their employees long-term contracts and so that means financial stability, something that some people or families need.
Way before I went vegan, I was still vegetarian back then (we are talking about a very long time ago here), I worked in a supermarket for a long period of time. I was working as a head cashier, but when there weren't a lot of customers I did all kinds of other jobs around the supermarket. I had a colleague-friend who worked at the in-store butchery, from time to time I would come and help him out because they were always short staffed (I also helped colleague-friends at the in-store bakery or at the fruit and veg section etc. - just whoever needed me most basically). I did not handle meat, nor did I help packing stuff or so, but I would help them putting stuff in the coolers, tidying up, seeing what was left and what was needed, put new stuff in the coolers, check the dates, mark things down... stuff like that?
I was still young back then, so please don't judge too much, and I really needed that job. I just did what I had to do and actually really loved working at the supermarket (still best job I ever had lol and I worked really hard, too, it was very busy). I can not work anymore now because of my illness, but at the same time I often wonder if I would still be able to do that kind of job now with the strong morals that I have. I can't help but think "no". It would be really difficult, especially because I remember some folks buying SO MUCH meat. But, it also depends on how desperately I needed a job and if it was the only thing I could get then maybe?
Something like this is such a dilemma, no?
Please note, this is not my situation, but just something I sometimes wonder about (as you do).
I am interested in hearing what you guys think about something like this?
I am interested to hear from you guys how you guys would feel working in a supermarket for example or a distribution center of any other food-related establishment? In that kind of work you are often handling with animal products.
For example, selling/packing/distributing them etc.
I know some would say take a different job, but that's not really possible for everybody is it? Often these kinds of jobs still get their employees long-term contracts and so that means financial stability, something that some people or families need.
Way before I went vegan, I was still vegetarian back then (we are talking about a very long time ago here), I worked in a supermarket for a long period of time. I was working as a head cashier, but when there weren't a lot of customers I did all kinds of other jobs around the supermarket. I had a colleague-friend who worked at the in-store butchery, from time to time I would come and help him out because they were always short staffed (I also helped colleague-friends at the in-store bakery or at the fruit and veg section etc. - just whoever needed me most basically). I did not handle meat, nor did I help packing stuff or so, but I would help them putting stuff in the coolers, tidying up, seeing what was left and what was needed, put new stuff in the coolers, check the dates, mark things down... stuff like that?
I was still young back then, so please don't judge too much, and I really needed that job. I just did what I had to do and actually really loved working at the supermarket (still best job I ever had lol and I worked really hard, too, it was very busy). I can not work anymore now because of my illness, but at the same time I often wonder if I would still be able to do that kind of job now with the strong morals that I have. I can't help but think "no". It would be really difficult, especially because I remember some folks buying SO MUCH meat. But, it also depends on how desperately I needed a job and if it was the only thing I could get then maybe?
Something like this is such a dilemma, no?
Please note, this is not my situation, but just something I sometimes wonder about (as you do).
I am interested in hearing what you guys think about something like this?
No judgement from me, people need to pay the bills.
Personally, I've only ever had jobs with indirect ties to the animal industry. I work in an office based role now and some of our clients have links to animal testing, so I could end up doing work indirectly for a company where I actively don't buy their products.
In terms of a more direct role, if I ended up having to take any job at all to get by, I would probably take it then look to find something else in the future. A role cooking or handling meat would be unpleasant. I remember seeing a documentary (BBC?) about a group of people in Wales who became vegan for a period of time and one of the girls worked in her mum's burger van and it really bothered her. I think she found another job eventually.
Personally, I've only ever had jobs with indirect ties to the animal industry. I work in an office based role now and some of our clients have links to animal testing, so I could end up doing work indirectly for a company where I actively don't buy their products.
In terms of a more direct role, if I ended up having to take any job at all to get by, I would probably take it then look to find something else in the future. A role cooking or handling meat would be unpleasant. I remember seeing a documentary (BBC?) about a group of people in Wales who became vegan for a period of time and one of the girls worked in her mum's burger van and it really bothered her. I think she found another job eventually.
Why in goodness is Nicole in her pants in the thumbnail of a food video?
I wondered the same! I stopped watching her videos because there was a lot of parading around and posing when they were meant to be about food
