TTC #3

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Ahh yes I am honestly awful for symptom spotting! My google search history the past few months is like ‘feeling hot 10dpo’ ‘feeling cold 10dpo’ and of course there is always someone who did have that thing!
I’ve literally just searched “earache 5dpo” and had to have a word with myself! I know it’s far too early for symptoms but I can’t stop myself
 
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I can’t lie to you and say it goes away. Because four years on from losing our daughter, I’m still utterly in the shit tunnel of grief and I still have days where it consumes my entire being. Some days what I want to do, and what my grief will allow me to do are two completely different things. But I will say this. I have better days now. I have more good days than bad days. I even probably have more good weeks than bad weeks. The pain doesn’t go away. I wish I could say it did, I wish I could take it from you. But it will always be there, just some days will feel a little more raw than others. I found the ‘firsts’ were the worst. I had to accept that I was sat under a storm cloud, that no amount of positivity could drag me out of it, but accept that. I had to learn to accept that how I felt was valid.

I wish I could tell you a positive quote that would make it feel better. But I know it probably wouldn’t. What you have experienced is utterly fucking shit and I am so sorry it has happened to you. It must still be very raw, your future has changed, everything you hoped and dreamed for has faded away. But the sun will creep in. Just maybe not yet.
 
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Yaaaaaaaaaaaaas!!!!!!! Congratulations, hoping you've got a sticky bean getting all comfy in there.

I get you. I've had tears today too. You're not alone.

I would've been 12 weeks today. I imagined the different ways I'd finally tell our closest friends our news, to plan then nursery (well, clear the room out!) I thought I'd be cradling a little bump, buying that first little comforter or sleepsuit, but it wasn't to be.

My heart still hurts, my head spins with it all and last months negative hit me hard. My little bit of hope I'm clinging onto is I've had a positive test before so surely that means it can happen again? It's the only thing I have to hold onto, so I'm grabbing it with both hands!

Your heart may still hurt, but the healing process is happening it just takes time. A lot of time. One day your rainbow baby will arrive and although your heart will still hurt, a part will find peace.
 
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Congratulations lovely, sending you all the love and well wishes
 
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This is AMAZING!!! Congratulations

OK, so I've politely liked your post, but seriously, for some of it Can't believe I didn't take my own cup advice this month Definitely going to follow in your footsteps next month!

I'm so sorry, I've never lost a baby, but I did lose my brother. I think you'll feel bad until your "due date" and beyond. I remember being really obsessed with thinking "8 weeks ago, you were here". It's now been nearly 20 years, I now only occasionally go "18 years ago you were here" or imagine what he would be doing. Time has fuzzed up the memory a bit and other things have filled my life. Just yesterday I found a old DVD he made on our old camcorder, I held it up to my ear and just pretended he was standing next to me and talking to me.

Time will make the pain feel less painful, this is a stage of grieving, so let yourself cry, let yourself feel this way. Better out than in. If you genuinely feel you can't cope or the grief is too much, please get some help or therapy x x
 
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Thinking of you and sending lots of love
 
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I used preseed last cycle and didn't get a sniff of a fertilised egg. I don't know whether I used too much even though I followed the instructions! Or maybe my body was just sorting itself out after June.

Interesting about the cup though! I'm going to try that this cycle. Willing to try anything
 
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I used quite a lot I think, did you use the syringe thing? As I put the most amount you could in the syringe

The cup thing I just felt like I may as well try, it can’t really do any harm @Louk mentioning it earlier in the thread is what pushed me to try it!
 
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Yeah I did! Was very bizarre at first! Then I had fears I'd drowned the swimmies hmmm I was only putting in to the 3 line I think! Maybe I didn't drown them enough.

The cup sounds like a good idea if I'm honest. I alwaaaaays try to fall asleep and not move but *tmi* I hate waking up in the middle of the night bcus my thighs feels sticky and wet. So this is definitely a solution.

Not sure how attractive my husbands going to find me, but who cares.

My husbands twin brother (evil twin I'll add) is getting married in Feb and I'm just so hoping I'm pregnant before then so I can escape early or not go at all...!
 
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So tmi but actually the sticky thing kind of sold using the cup to me after the first time and I was like.. oh.. this is actually a lot more comfortable

I do feel a bit bad for my husband but I’m just glad we conceived this month as I can just say it to him that all the lube syringes and silicone cups and general science lab DTD sessions were worth it

Although we did say now if this pregnancy doesn’t work out I’m going to feel like we have to do all the same things again in order to conceive. Hopefully we don’t need to
 
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Oh God, what have I started I didn't even take my own advice this month either!!! Please Google the cup thing ladies, I know one source used preseed IN, or around the edge of the cup , so I guess I'm off shopping on the internet. Sadly I'm staying with my ultra religious MIL, I seriously hope the packaging is discreet
 
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Hi guys, how reliable are First Response pregnancy tests? I took a CB digital yesterday (10dpo) and it was negative and did a FR today (11dpo) and I have a faint line! But it’s my first time using FR so is it an indent line? Are indent lines pink in colour too?
 
I think the CB digital need more HCG so won’t show a positive as early as a FR (if it is the FR early response 6day early test). If the line on FR is pink I would think it’s probs a positive rather than indent but if you’re not sure maybe test again in the morning. It’s still early so it’s likely to be faint.
Got my fingers crossed for you
 
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Thanks so much for replying! Been TTC for 8 months now without a sniff of a successful pregnancy. This is the first cycle where I’ve been testing early (usually wait for AF’s due date) The previous times I’ve tested I’ve used CB which are brutal when you see “not pregnant”. This is my first time using FR so I’m possibly just being hopeful it’s a faint line as it’s the closest I’ve ever been to a BFP. I’ll enjoy this moment regardless I guess, a step in the right direction hopefully.
 
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The ‘anniversary’ of my miscarriage is this week and I’m finding it really tough. It will be 3 years since it happened and I can’t help but think about the fact I’d have a toddler running around. Still no bump or baby though.
I hope all of you lovely ladies are still holding strong
 
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Hope you’re ok, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. Sending positive thoughts to you.
 
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Hey ladies, I was a regular posting on here a few months ago after my first miscarriage. When I fell pregnant again I didnt say anything, just lurked on here as I didnt have the guts to join the pregnancy thread as I felt like something was going to go wrong and I was right. I found out today i have had a MMC at 10 weeks and so I'm back on the TTC train. Well I will be once I've had my procedure on Friday and wait for my next period. I'm absolutely devastated. I am so blessed to have my 4 year old boy but I am so desperate to make him a big brother. Life can be cruel. Wishing you all the best of luck in your quests for babies. Xxx
 
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Thank you so much for everyone who took the time to reply to my moan yesterday. I really do appreciate it so much. I hate being negative and sad on here but sometimes it is just overwhelming, I am so jokey and fun on other threads but I really feel this is my place I can be me and (try to) explain how I feel. I finally unfollowed the pregnancy thread yesterday after realising that, as much as I love reading people’s stories, it probably isn’t helping me.

When I read your stories, my heart aches for all of you and I truly wish I could take all the pain away I wish there was something I could say to make things better but I know there isn’t.

I’m so glad we have this community on here to share our journey with… sending so much love and baby dust to all of you brave ladies 🤍🤍🤍
 
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Hi everyone, always been a long time lurker on this thread and have always found comfort in all of your comments through your TTC journey You are all so inspirational. Currently in my fifth month TTC (I know it’s not long at all in comparison), and really having a hard time staying optimistic. My issue is that as soon as I feel any mildly related pregnancy symptoms I convince myself that I am, that and also the temptation of testing too early when I know in my head that I shouldn’t but yes, just wanted to pop here to say hi and thank you all for being so open and honest with your own journeys and experiences, they’ve really helped me and so many others.
 
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just pee’d
Hi welcome!
Really relating to your post at the moment! I’m 6dpo and feeling ALL the symptoms (that probably aren’t even there!)

I caved and took a cheapy internet test earlier for no valid reason! I know it’s far too early and it was always going to be negative but i kinda feel like I’d rather get the negative out the way to remove any last bit of hope I have left during the two week wait and I can kinda try and stop thinking about it? I know it makes no sense but I dunno I guess I’m really struggling this month. One of those months where it seems so impossible sorry for the rant just wanted to put my thoughts into words xx
 
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