I dont think appearance necessarily has anything to do with self care as such. It is not about having a bath and painting your nails either. Real self care is more than that, it's looking at what your needs are and whether they are being met or not. It's about self compassion and 'allowing' yourself to get what you need. I really think she should have researched the topic more..like going for a walk or a swim can be self care for someone but there has to be reason why...it has to give you something..it cant be because that's what Mary does it for her self care so I should too. And on appearance not everyone has fancy hair or clothes or nails done. I know I don't because that is not me. Hygiene is something else and if that is what you mean that is basic life skills not self care. Prob a bit of a ramble there.