Toddler advice thread

[Definitelyme]

Also.. to add.. my daughter used to have the BIGGEST meltdowns, over small stuff. Terrible twos for sure, in the last 2 months I’ve really tried to get down to her level and get her to speak to me when she’s frustrated so rather than getting frustrated with her when she’s crying or shouting etc I will say “mummy can’t understand you when you are screaming, speak to mummy and tell me what you want” , it’s really effective and works. I follow this amazing lady on tik tok about gentle parenting and alot of her techniques really work on my child. I know it isn’t for everyone as every child is different but it’s helped SO much defuse lots of tantrums and we hardly have any.



Yeah this is what I do. Generally we are out the door for days out by 8am and can have lunch out too and back for 12, asleep for half 12. My friends who have kids who dropped naps at 2 all don’t get it. Why would I force my child to stay awake over lunch so we can do something when she’s tired. I’d rather be out the door early and have chilled afternoon!! Anyway I better shush on that cos it winds me up haha.

I am with you! My sister in law & brother never cared about their kids' naps, just let them sleep in the car or whatever (and complained the kids were all grumpy and badly behaved ), and my own sister didn’t have children until I had 3, and they never got why I was always saying "no sorry, we can’t, that’s no time, we have to leave early' etc. Now my sister has her own kids she’s just like me

 

[al255]

I am with you! My sister in law & brother never cared about their kids' naps, just let them sleep in the car or whatever (and complained the kids were all grumpy and badly behaved ), and my own sister didn’t have children until I had 3, and they never got why I was always saying "no sorry, we can’t, that’s no time, we have to leave early' etc. Now my sister has her own kids she’s just like me

YES THIS EXACTLY!!! My friends who’s kids are older said oh she will sleep in the car. Yes for all of 20 mins? How is that fair when she needs a proper rest to recharge. It’s only me that’s looking after her so why would I put myself through only letting her have a 20-30 min nap and she’s in a right mood all afternoon they didn’t get why I do things in a morning. I’d purposely book our toddler groups as early as possible so we have time for lunch and naptime, that’s how my life runs. I can’t be a fluid parent who doesn’t have a clue how long they’ve slept for etc it would drive me insane. I love routine and my daughter thrives off it x

 

[Definitelyme]

YES THIS EXACTLY!!! My friends who’s kids are older said oh she will sleep in the car. Yes for all of 20 mins? How is that fair when she needs a proper rest to recharge. It’s only me that’s looking after her so why would I put myself through only letting her have a 20-30 min nap and she’s in a right mood all afternoon they didn’t get why I do things in a morning. I’d purposely book our toddler groups as early as possible so we have time for lunch and naptime, that’s how my life runs. I can’t be a fluid parent who doesn’t have a clue how long they’ve slept for etc it would drive me insane. I love routine and my daughter thrives off it x

I feel we would be very good friends in real life we could have endless morning fun before nap time was needed!

 

[pinksunsetx91]

Also.. to add.. my daughter used to have the BIGGEST meltdowns, over small stuff. Terrible twos for sure, in the last 2 months I’ve really tried to get down to her level and get her to speak to me when she’s frustrated so rather than getting frustrated with her when she’s crying or shouting etc I will say “mummy can’t understand you when you are screaming, speak to mummy and tell me what you want” , it’s really effective and works. I follow this amazing lady on tik tok about gentle parenting and alot of her techniques really work on my child. I know it isn’t for everyone as every child is different but it’s helped SO much defuse lots of tantrums and we hardly have any.



Yeah this is what I do. Generally we are out the door for days out by 8am and can have lunch out too and back for 12, asleep for half 12. My friends who have kids who dropped naps at 2 all don’t get it. Why would I force my child to stay awake over lunch so we can do something when she’s tired. I’d rather be out the door early and have chilled afternoon!! Anyway I better shush on that cos it winds me up haha.

I just wanted to say I have the same routine as yourself. We are up in the morning ready and out be it park or groups, lunch like yourself sometimes while we are out and back for nap at 12.30. I have a couple of friends who children are two also and tell me my life shouldn’t revolve around him napping and he should nap while I’m out. My son has a much more settled sleep when we are at home which is why during the week I’m more than happy to come home and let him nap. If we happen to be on a day out at weekend to farm park etc he will nap in his buggy but it won’t be as long. I also got told he would sleep better during the night if I dropped his nap. I couldn’t not let him nap as he’s very active and come lunch he is exhausted. My son sleeps ok during the night he’s never been one for sleeping 12 hours but I feel they are all different with sleep just like adults. He will sleep 8pm til 6am/6.30am. Sort of went off went on a bit but just wanted to say I’m the same as you and if it works for our children and us that’s all that matters

 

[WhatABore]

I just wanted to say I have the same routine as yourself. We are up in the morning ready and out be it park or groups, lunch like yourself sometimes while we are out and back for nap at 12.30. I have a couple of friends who children are two also and tell me my life shouldn’t revolve around him napping and he should nap while I’m out. My son has a much more settled sleep when we are at home which is why during the week I’m more than happy to come home and let him nap. If we happen to be on a day out at weekend to farm park etc he will nap in his buggy but it won’t be as long. I also got told he would sleep better during the night if I dropped his nap. I couldn’t not let him nap as he’s very active and come lunch he is exhausted. My son sleeps ok during the night he’s never been one for sleeping 12 hours but I feel they are all different with sleep just like adults. Sort of went off went on a bit but just wanted to say I’m the same as you and if it works for our children and us that’s all that matters

People always think dropping a nap will make them sleep better when in actual fact, if they need that nap, dropping it will probably make them sleep worse because they're over tired

 

[pinksunsetx91]

People always think dropping a nap will make them sleep better when in actual fact, if they need that nap, dropping it will probably make them sleep worse because they're over tired

Yes I completely agree my dads the worst for saying it to me

 

[Definitelyme]

I was just thinking the same as @WhatABore When they are over tired at night because they’ve dropped their nap (or missed a nap) I find they sleep horrendously. My 3yo sleep has been poor since she stopped nappy, but if she does nap she doesn’t go to sleep until 9pm+ and then is exhausted the next day because she hasn’t had enough sleep

 

[Jellybean093]

Nap time is also my time to relax, have a hot cup of tea and a decent lunch. My toddler still sleeps. He’s just over 2 and a half. Have to wake him by 2 otherwise he’s a pain to settle at night. He can go without a nap if we’re busy, but it doesn’t bother him. He sleeps best in his cot and Will only have a little cat nap or nothing if we are out in the buggy. I think lockdown had a lot to do with that

 

[al255]

Nap time is also my time to relax, have a hot cup of tea and a decent lunch. My toddler still sleeps. He’s just over 2 and a half. Have to wake him by 2 otherwise he’s a pain to settle at night. He can go without a nap if we’re busy, but it doesn’t bother him. He sleeps best in his cot and Will only have a little cat nap or nothing if we are out in the buggy. I think lockdown had a lot to do with that

Thanks for the naptime support guys when my daughter was at her old nursery she used to get all of 20-30 mins and her night time sleep was awful. I don’t get why as a parent you’d purposely not give your child the rest they need in the middle of the day? If we’ve been up since 6:30am and out the door at 8am, I need a sit down and a brew etc! I think cos my friends have to do the school run first they’re limited, BUT I only have my daughter to worry about

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My son loves sleep!! He dropped a nap briefly but he started having one when he got Ill and got back into the routine again. But I’m not that bothered as like others have said it’s your time. I can have a brew in peace , sit and read a book or have a choc biscuit ans not have to share. He likes to have 2 hours but would sleep for more if I let him & he still sleeps all night. If he doesn’t have a nap he doesn’t want to eat a proper Tea and is cranky all evening. Makes the day feel endless. Much prefer the days when he has a nap. I also plan our lives around his naps Like someone else has said it’s us that have to deal with them when they’re over tired. Plus I don’t think it’s fair on them.

 

[al255]

Anyone got any tips on hitting? My daughter 2 years + 3 months keeps hitting me. She only does it as in like a playing sense but sometimes it really hurts and I tell her she’s hurting mummy and we use nice hands / kind hands! I’m fed up of it

 

[Definitelyme]

Anyone got any tips on hitting? My daughter 2 years + 3 months keeps hitting me. She only does it as in like a playing sense but sometimes it really hurts and I tell her she’s hurting mummy and we use nice hands / kind hands! I’m fed up of it

My sister has a books called "hands are not for hitting". It’s not something we have had much experience with but we usually say similar, and then second time it happens I would say "I am not going to let you hit me, if it happens again I am going to leave the room/stop playing", and then if it happens again I simply walk away without a word. If it’s very bad I would just do the "I won’t let you it me" and then second time just walk away.

 

[WreckingBall]

My sister has a books called "hands are not for hitting". It’s not something we have had much experience with but we usually say similar, and then second time it happens I would say "I am not going to let you hit me, if it happens again I am going to leave the room/stop playing", and then if it happens again I simply walk away without a word. If it’s very bad I would just do the "I won’t let you it me" and then second time just walk away.

I recommend the YouTube vids that go with that book too

 

[al255]

My sister has a books called "hands are not for hitting". It’s not something we have had much experience with but we usually say similar, and then second time it happens I would say "I am not going to let you hit me, if it happens again I am going to leave the room/stop playing", and then if it happens again I simply walk away without a word. If it’s very bad I would just do the "I won’t let you it me" and then second time just walk away.

Thanks both!! She laughs and even when I fake cry she realises she’s hurt me. But she will forget about it and do it more or less straight after. I will try the above technique you mentioned first and see how I get on, thank you xx

 

[Definitelyme]

Thanks both!! She laughs and even when I fake cry she realises she’s hurt me. But she will forget about it and do it more or less straight after. I will try the above technique you mentioned first and see how I get on, thank you xx

Such a minefield, as they all will react so differently to different techniques. Definitely try a few bits out, and see if anything helps her out.

 

[DownBelow21]

Joining this thread - mum of a 17mo.
Have coslept since around 7months old. He usually falls asleep on our bed then we move him over to his cot (still in our room as I just can't bare the thought of putting him in his own room yet!) He will sometimes sleep in there for a good run, sometimes between 5-6 hours but then cries to come back with us. Sometimes we can soothe him back to sleep in his cot, but ultimately he ends up back with us. But then on some nights, i Just leave him in with us!

As much as I love cosleeping with him, sometimes it's a nightmare as he can be such a wriggler and wakes us up by kicking us!

Is anyone else still cosleeping, or have done until this time? How did you/are you planning on moving over to stay in their own cots?

 

[Definitelyme]

Joining this thread - mum of a 17mo.
Have coslept since around 7months old. He usually falls asleep on our bed then we move him over to his cot (still in our room as I just can't bare the thought of putting him in his own room yet!) He will sometimes sleep in there for a good run, sometimes between 5-6 hours but then cries to come back with us. Sometimes we can soothe him back to sleep in his cot, but ultimately he ends up back with us. But then on some nights, i Just leave him in with us!

As much as I love cosleeping with him, sometimes it's a nightmare as he can be such a wriggler and wakes us up by kicking us!

Is anyone else still cosleeping, or have done until this time? How did you/are you planning on moving over to stay in their own cots?

Have you considered moving him to a floor bed? We moved my eldest son at 20 months to a floor bed, I would lie with him to go to sleep, and then when he woke in the night bring him back in with us. My 3yo is in a double so she sleeps alone until she wakes up then my husband sleeps in with her. All my older ones have then slept longer and longer stretches alone once In their bed.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Joining this thread - mum of a 17mo.
Have coslept since around 7months old. He usually falls asleep on our bed then we move him over to his cot (still in our room as I just can't bare the thought of putting him in his own room yet!) He will sometimes sleep in there for a good run, sometimes between 5-6 hours but then cries to come back with us. Sometimes we can soothe him back to sleep in his cot, but ultimately he ends up back with us. But then on some nights, i Just leave him in with us!

As much as I love cosleeping with him, sometimes it's a nightmare as he can be such a wriggler and wakes us up by kicking us!

Is anyone else still cosleeping, or have done until this time? How did you/are you planning on moving over to stay in their own cots?

Oh gosh. My son went in his own room from 6 months. Was fine in his big cot until 10 months and wouldn’t sleep alone. He’s still in my bed and he’s three next week . He is a bit clingy tho and likes to be with me. Sometimes in the night he reaches out to touch me to see if I’m still there. I’m planning on putting him in his own room next few months. I can’t bare to leave him to cry it out. He gets so upset and makes himself sick it’s just not worth it.

 

[DownBelow21]

Have you considered moving him to a floor bed? We moved my eldest son at 20 months to a floor bed, I would lie with him to go to sleep, and then when he woke in the night bring him back in with us. My 3yo is in a double so she sleeps alone until she wakes up then my husband sleeps in with her. All my older ones have then slept longer and longer stretches alone once In their bed.

Never actually thought of this! Thank you! Will show my hubby and might give it a go

Oh gosh. My son went in his own room from 6 months. Was fine in his big cot until 10 months and wouldn’t sleep alone. He’s still in my bed and he’s three next week . He is a bit clingy tho and likes to be with me. Sometimes in the night he reaches out to touch me to see if I’m still there. I’m planning on putting him in his own room next few months. I can’t bare to leave him to cry it out. He gets so upset and makes himself sick it’s just not worth it.

I know what you mean! Some of my friends/family said I should just let him cry it out etc but I don't have it in me to do that! Just doesn't sit right with me letting him cry himself to sleep!

 

[quinzel]

Was hoping to get some advice about temper tantrums. We are truly in the throes of the terrible 2's in my house. Son is 2 and a half and I know temper tantrums are normal but just wondering to what extent? My son gets really angry. We call it his 'red mist' he will try to find something in his reach to throw. He has even started trying to lash out and hit us! is this normal? I will add here we don't display that type of behaviour so I am really struggling to see where it's coming from. His behaviour at nursery has always been good, never any problems there. Just seems to be with mum and dad he is like this. Anyone had any experience of this?