When my toddler was “exercising his own choices”, he was very much like this. I use to leave things mortified that he didn’t want to sit and bang a drum, but rather play somewhere else. I totally agree with
@Definitelyme; give him a choice for everything and a plan. We still do this with littlepotato now and he’s 5 in May. I ask him what cup he wants, what colour cheese, what bubble bath… it doesn’t matter as the answer is always the same for me, he’s going to drink, he will eat, he will wash but it gives him control and power over his decisions. If a temper tantrum starts, allow him to cry and scream and patiently wait. If you can, carry them to a safe place. I’ve sat down in the middle of Aldi before saying that I understand, I’m here if you want a cuddle etc. that’s the only time someone has complimented me on my parenting as he soon came out of the tantrum with a minute or so. Btw I say If they are safe to move… little has broken my nose before.
with plans, I always say “we are going to Asda first, then the doctor, then the park.” & get him to repeat it back to me. Sometimes he asks for the park first, but I remind him that it’s in an order for a reason because Mummy needs X.
If it’s any help, littlepotato hated toddler groups.