Toddler advice thread

[BettyCrockerr]

Thank you all so much for your replies the other day. Little update - I rang his nursery this morning and his key worker said "I only meant he was having tantrums, didn't mean to worry you!" . She said it was transition issues on Monday but hey ho, I felt like saying to her find me a toddler who never tantrums!

Glad you got it sorted out, sounds like she was just saying it for the sake of saying something to you at the school gates so to speak, as you say it sounds like it’s just normal toddler behaviour and she really didn’t need to frame it in that way.

 

[GlennCoco]

I did mine at 3 and a half and honestly it was easy because she understood what we were saying more and could communicate with us better. Like yours, she didn't want to know and even when we did try she was a bit hesitant but we just kind of did it without forcing her if that makes sense? We just made it fun and read stories on the potty / toilet (we let her pick).

The first day she literally went on the potty twice and there was no accidents. The second day she had about 3 or 4 accidents, day 3 (she went back to nursery) she had 1 accident and then by day 4 that was it.

She didn't need pull ups (i didnt really like them and neither did she) and we put a nappy on at night (didn't want to overwhelm her) but she told us she didn't want a nappy on at night. So we just put a puppy pad down on her mattress for a couple of weeks. She had a few accidents but not many at all and most we learnt from (don't let her drink too much before bed )

I felt so much pressure from my mum in particular. She kept telling me I had left it too late and that she is going to school in August and she would still be in nappies etc. But I just ignored her and followed my little one's lead for the most part

 

[DownBelow21]

It's a really good family day out.
Even better when they're older and tall enough to go on the big rides. I took my son when he was 7 & he's now an adrenaline junkie

Can't wait for them days! Although, I've got a feeling I'll be a bag holder whilst him and his dad go on the exciting rides!

 

[Definitelyme]

If you’re early pregnant, and she’s going through a bad patch, definitely not a good time to start. Wait until you’re both more settled and in a good frame of mind. I always reread "oh crap potty training" before I start with my toddlers, some good advice and guidance in there.

 

[hol20x]

Not really an advice thing but if your kid went to nursery did you name label everything?? I’m looking at his wardrobe now and he’s got about 3000 pairs of trousers I thought about just naming things like coats, fleeces, bag etc. I’m clueless!

Name tag absolutely everything! Even pants!

 

[Definitelyme]

We have tried the ignoring him, but he’ll go on for hours, or do something to get our attention. If he hurt himself in a tantrum, it would never be intentional, he’d then come to us for a cuddle, but if we pick him up mid tantrum he will smack or scram.
We’ve spoken to the health visitor and she is sure it’s just a phase. His nursery said he’s an absolute delight there and have never seen him tantrum once.
He has limited speech, says a few words but understands everything we say, if we ask him to put shoes on etc he will go get them, again doctors, nursery HV and speech therapists aren’t concerned because he understands everything.
I’m sure it’s a phase, just hoping we’re over the hill and one day something will work to nip them in the bud before he starts

Maybe part of it is him being unable to express himself. Have you been able to identify any triggers for him, anything that consistently sets him off?
It is miserable when you try and go out and do fun things and you feel the time is ruined, but I’m sure there are plenty of those times he’s really enjoying too.
I would stay close when he does it, but be firm and say "I can’t let you hurt me, I will sit here and I’m here if you need me".
When you sense a tantrum coming try giving him some choices eg if you’re at the park say "do you want to go on the swing or the slide now?" To see if part of his upset is not being able to be in control. They get so little control over their lives that giving them choices within boundaries can help them regain some of that.

It sounds absolutely exhausting for all 3 of you Knowing it’s just a phase is great, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with when it’s happening every day. It’s great he’s not doing it at nursery, so part of it is you guys being his safe space where he can let all his emotions out knowing you are there for him.

 

[WhatABore]

Curious on other children's speech.
My 4 year old has been talking from quite an early age.
However. She struggles to pronounce words.
I can't remember at all with my son if it was normal or not.
But I feel like I see other 4 year olds and their pronunciation is quite clear.
We often struggle to understand what she's saying.
I can understand her more but others have a hard time understanding her sometimes.

Just listening to her now say odd words and just picking some.. "Fwush" instead of flush.
"Drong" instead of Strong.
"Cwap" for Clap.
"Toiwet" for toilet
"Pway" for play

It seems to be S's and L's she struggles with.

Just wondering if it's normal or not

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks, its nice to know that she's just like other kids even if she is quite energetic, an one day hopefully things will calm down, I love her to bits I really do but it's been a learning curve figuring this all out, there is one thing that does keep her intrested an that's my guinea pigs but honestly am just too nervous to let her get full access to them, my poor pigs run for hiding when they see her now lol they aren't quite used to the shouting she does but I'll try the cardboard boxes, maybe those will give her some interest

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Shes not that child at all to put it this way - she would sit on the sofa all day and say no for a nap, when she needs one and becomes overtired and a screaming, unhappy mess. She also needs a dark room and her bed to fall asleep in. She’s not the type of child to fall asleep anywhere tbh.

It's as though we have the same child! Haha. When she's sick is the only time mine will fall asleep on the sofa.
In a way, I really can't wait until we drop the nap as then we can go out for the whole day and do stuff without worrying about her becoming a wreck. But I also love my time on my own in the middle of the day so I guess I have to just suck up the late bedtime and stuff and just crack on.

We're going to Cyprus in August for 2 weeks, she'll be 2 years and 8 months. I am a little bit dreading what we are going to do about bedtime and stuff already. I want to relax and go with the flow but also don't want to start any bad habits. She's still in a cot, and I think she may have to sleep in a bed in Cyprus so that will be fun.

Also, anyone else just not ready to transition to a bed yet? Hers has been up in her room for months but I'm too scared to move her, she's such a solid sleeper in the cot.

 

[al255]

Hey everyone thanks for all your advice and Thanks for all the comments about the gro clock, I asked my other half to order one off Amazon prime but he forgot (fucking men) so I’ve done it myself. She’s slept in her own bed fri sat night 7:30-6, cried and kept getting out of bed but by 8:15 both nights she was asleep.. last night was a bit tricky but she’s got a cough so went in a few times to see to her but didn’t give in. She’s asleep now, just heard her start snoring. We’ve moved her into the bigger room so her black out blind doesn’t fit the new window so I’ve ordered a new one

Yay amazing! So glad it’s worked. If she’s waking up with the light still put some tin foil on the windows stupid but it works! I had to do it for a little while until the blind for my daughters room came. Glad she’s sleeping better x

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you ladies! All of above I’ve got on my list so think we’ll be ok, I just need to stop I literally said to myself don’t feel guilty for buying/asking for money towards farm/zoo/various memberships for him as I know he’ll enjoy that so much more than loads of toys (especially after Christmas) but you know when you just look at stuff and feel instant guilt we went so overboard for my eldest when he was 2 so really trying to reign it in!

Tbh at that age mine are OVERJOYED with a wee pack of haribo, so that’s what they get, plus a book and a day out! I hate having too many toys in the house so we are very “minimalist” on that front

 

[WhatABore]

I know this is going to sound really awful but I don't want to start a slippery slope of her needing me there? I guess I just worry that once I start that, it will never stop, and she'll not settle for her grandparents etc (because they definitely would not be willing to sit with her for half an hour or whatever..) She may have changed but in the past us being there just made her act silly, blowing raspberries and poking our faces etc. But I'm so desperate, I'll try anything!



Thanks, this was my thinking but on the occasions I have tried an early bed, it still takes til nearly 8 to fall asleep.

This was today's schedule:

Wake at approx 7.20am (she stirred about 5.30 but must have gone back off with no trouble as I didn't hear any more)
Nap at 12.45 - 2pm
Bath at 5.45 after dinner
CBeebies until 6.30pm
Upstairs for teeth brushing, pyjamas and a story.
Now it's at this point she starts to run around like a loon, full of energy and hyper.
Calm her down, maybe have another story, bed at 6.50pm

Because of my social anxiety I don't take her out to soft play or any playgroups or anything, so the most exercise she gets is playing in the garden, so I'm wondering if this is all my fault? She's not been to childcare in almost two weeks as her minder is on holiday, but she spent lots of time playing with her cousins over half term.

She's still awake now

Does she require you to go in when she's still awake or does she stay in bed?

My 4yo had a gro clock.
And once we set it, she knows not to get out of bed.
She's had it since about 2 and a half.

She doesn't go to sleep instantly when we put her in bed. Sometimes she can take an hour.
But I can get on with whatever I'm doing because she'll just chat away to herself or her teddies until she falls asleep.

Hi all. When did you get rid of the monitor? My 2.5 year old daughter screaming in her sleep is driving me mad. I get broken sleep every night at the moment and I’m finding it hard!! We live in a terrace house and unless I left our doors open at night I wouldn’t hear her. I’ve moved the monitor away from her bed so it’s not directly near it and turning the settings down so it’s not as loud still doesn’t really work. She sleeps through overall but should i just do a night without it in the hope I don’t worry and lie awake all night??
Any advice be grateful xx

Can she get up and come in to you if she needs something?
That's when I stopped using one. Once we moved her into a bed and she knew she could come and get us

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

My 3 year old hasn’t slept though in her bed since September. I’ve mentioned this before, I’m over it now, but I’m wondering if anyone else has been through this and when does it end
So she goes to bed in her own bed around 7:30pm. But anytime between say 11-2 she wakes up and either comes into our room or cries in her room for one of us to go and get her. We’re lucky enough to have a spare room so my other half will just go in there and I take her into our bed when this happens. She does go back asleep straight away till about 6:30/7 but yeah was just keen to hear similar experiences, surely this won’t go on forever? She has been out of nappies day and night for about 10 months and doesn’t nap during the day anymore x

also echo the comments about potty training, don’t start until you think they’re definitely ready. I’ve only got one child though so can’t really compare

 

[Jellybean093]

Recently planned a few overnight trips in the coming weeks... but I must admit I've got a bit of brain fog!!

One of the trips away is going to Alton Towers/Cbeebies Land with my 17mo. It's going to be out first 'big day out away from home' like this (thanks Covid).

What on earth do I pack during the day? Minds gone totally blank! and I'm worried incase I'm going to miss something and it's like 3 hours away from home.

We're going into the park 1 day, stay over that night and back to the park the next day. Have booked breakfast and tea (dinner for you southerners) out.

Nappies
Wipes
Bottle (milk)
Water cup
Clothes for day 1 and 2, a couple of spare pair of outfits
Snacks
Breakfast if he’s fussy

If you do forget something, I’m sure there’s a shops around

 

[al255]

Please can someone give me some hope regarding potty training. My daughter is 2.5 yrs and very sensitive. She’s a genre soul and is a bit anxious atm - going through a fear phase. She’s very strong willed and sensitive to any pressure. I’ve tried to potty train a few times now, most recent being yesterday. But she is so resistant. She got so upset yesterday when I tried to put her on the potty after a few hours and some accidents so I called it a day and we’re back in nappies for now.

I’m just worried she won’t get there and putting pressure on myself as everyone else I know seems to have cracked it with their toddlers. Im also 6 weeks pregnant so feeling like I need to do it before the baby arrives. It doesn’t help my partner just thinks you can force your will on her and as im “home all day” I should have had it done by now

If she isn’t ready you can’t force it. My daughters dad seems to think I should do it with my 2.5 year old and I said she isn’t ready. Talking to other mums the older they are the faster it is - don’t listen or compare to those saying it needs to be done. NO it doesn’t! Jo Frost even said that if you force it, it’ll have the opposite reaction. If anyone asks just say she’s not ready, you gave it a go and you’re going to try again in a few months when she’s showing more signs and is more ready, explain forcing will have an adverse effect and remember there’s not really a time limit on when they should be potty trained, generally before they start school!

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

My son is going through a phase of having meltdowns after nursery at the moment. He's fine on the journey home but once we get in the house he has a tantrum because he doesn't want to eat what we have cooked for his tea and it just snowballs from there. It's just so, exhausting? I don't know what to do anymore. He gets into such a state. We try everything and really try not to back down (we didn't tonight and he did try a bit of his meal). It always ends in an argument with me and my partner too we disagree so much on parenting styles.

Do you think he could be overhungry? Maybe he needs a little snack to get him home. He could just be knackered and hangry and too far gone for dinner. Does he eat well at nursery? I hear you with the different parenting styles it really makes it so much more wearing!
Edited to say my daughter doesn’t usually eat dinner, we have tried a few things but we usually have dessert regardless of if she’s eaten dinner or not. Usually a banana or yoghurt, nothing fancy. Or we offer that after her bath so she’s not going to bed hungry but it doesn’t just save herself for dessert. It depends on the day and how she’s eaten when we offer it.

 

[Kim Mild]

Hi all long term lurker just looking for a bit of advice really.
I have a recently turned 2 year old who still isn't talking has anyone had any experience with this? he will be starting nursery soon and I’m hoping this will help him a lot. its just worrying me a lot but HV etc have said not to worry. He is being sent for a hearing test but I am 99% sure that it’s fine.
I suppose I’m just worried if there is an overall problem also with the lack of speech he has never pointed or waved. If he wants things he brings them over etc. he claps his hands and babbles just no real words. He’s very smiley and does give eye contact unless he is distracted in something. He’s an excellent sleeper, was a fantastic eater as a baby but since about 18m has become fussier although I can live with that. The other thing is he is quite expressive with his hands at times but Im not sure if that’s because he can’t speak he is showing excitement the way.
Any thoughts, am I over thinking? Google isnt very helpful!

My oldest never said a word until a couple of months after turning 2 , the health visitor sent someone out to see us . Then they started talking and it all came at once. My younger 2 were using words from being 1and a half. Now kids don't get there 2 year check til 27 months where I live as apparently so many of them weren't talking by 2 years. It's all normal .

 

[BlueRose]

Hello I posted this on another thread.
Sorry if your on that one seeing this twice.
I have a two year old who was born early (late prem) Health been 90% fine. No issues with growth or weigh(wait) Eats well but not much due to reflux & gagging. Now 2 years old I'm worried due to what everyone says oh your heavy, your some weight, weighing at 2 stone (height about 37inc). I'm freaking out as the "ideal weight" should be 1stone 8lbs. We always eat healthy.. fruit is always eaten, go for long walks, go to soft play etc. Only as junk once a week. Now I was a heavy baby but soild. I just wish people would stop saying it cause it hurts

 

[Jellybean093]

How long should a 2 year old nap for? My little boy naps for 1.5 hours still and sometimes takes ages to get up that sometimes it stretches to 2 hours. Is this too long? Tia

As long as i wake him up by 2, he goes down ok. He goes nursery 3 mornings a week, so goes to sleep at 12.45ish, but the days he doesn’t, maybe 12? He would probably sleep for 3 hours, but I like him going to bed and not being a fuss pot

 

[WhatABore]

Thank you and thank you @Definitelyme

I have been thinking about a bed but she throws herself around a lot so I think she’d fall out I’m not sure if lying with her would work as we’ve tried that in our bed and most of the time she’ll cry and want to be rocked. It’s what she’s used to I know but I think I thought she would grow out of it earlier than this. She does generally sleep through the night now so we are lucky in that respect but her sleep was dreadful until she was about 2 so it was always the lesser of two evils to rock her to sleep.

I don’t mind helping her to sleep but she is so heavy now and she often seems to fight sleep at the moment too.

The bed guard definitely keeps them in.
You could always get 2 so it's the full length.
My 4 year old still doesn't stay still.
For the first year of her being in the bed, she'd often wake up upside down or length ways across the bed