Toddler advice thread

[watermelon sugar]

Oh my goodness, written down like that makes me feel guilty I always have a little snack at 9, and wake up starving! My poor kids

same im just constantly hungry

 

[Rainbow_rhythms]

This is something else I waiting until she understood a bit more.
She again only had it when she slept, but we got rid of it just before she turned 3.
I felt like things were easier to do if I waited until they understood what was going on and I could explain to them.

I've seen lots of people do it where you take their dummies to "pay" for a toy they choose. And then anytime they ask for the dummy, you remind them they have the toy instead

Completely agree. We waited til my little one was nearly 3 and then told them that the dummies were going to the fairies. It's a lot easier to wait until they are older and can communicate with them. It was relatively easy to be honest - because we could explain that the baby fairies needed the dummies now etc x

 

[watermelon sugar]

I still have a video monitor but I keep it on quiet cos I know I’m a light sleeper and if he woke up I’d be able to hear him. I just like being able to check on the monitor if I woke up through the night. Perhaps just get rid or turn it on quiet? If you think you’d wake up that is

 

[WhatABore]

Hi all Looking for some advice regarding my 2 year old constantly saying everything is hers.

If I’m eating my breakfast she will say MINE and try and snatch. She knows not to snatch with me and ask for some.. she really kicks off if she doesn’t get her own way there and then!?

She is awful with it, so fast forward to nursery (she’s been going since she was 8 months old, 2 days a week), the last few months everything is MINE.

She won’t let anyone else sit where she has sat and it’s just awful. Nursery told me she’s not getting any better.

She’s an only child and she shares with me, we go to plenty of toddler groups the days shes not at nursery and she’s ok there. Any advice?? Nursery just say it’s her age but it’s just abit urgh when they’ve told me she’s been snatching again x

Unfortunately it is her age.
Sharing skill doesn't develop until between 3 and 4.
If you're continuously repeating to her about sharing ect, then you're doing everything you can.
She will grasp it eventually however, I can imagine it's frustrating watching it happen

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks guy, honestly I was merely curious as she's the first kid that has actually properly exhausted me with trying to keep up with her lol, I remember when I was a kid an my aunt would go on about my cousin having ADHD, my memory from that was his boundless energy an not keeping focus with anything, so it's not somthing I really know alot about as I was a kid an only seen a fraction of his ADHD

I'll try other toys that aren't loud an light up, she seems to have mostly those so maybe they aren't the greatest intrest for her an see if other simpler toys will hold more intrest, she does have the ones where you put shapes through the little spaces but they end up being thrown at you if she doesn't get it first time lol or maybe cardboard boxes she can rip to bits lol, thankfully with the weather getting better maybe I can get her out, she was a winter baby so last summer she was just too young to be running around a garden an we were back to winter when she was finally on her feet

 

[Definitelyme]

Thanks for such a quick reply! Appreciate it. You've definitely put my mind at rest a little! My list was pages long - calpol etc. Typical worried FTM here! My husband was saying I was being ridiculous... and I think he's right now!

All the little snacks!
some small toys for the hotel room/ when you’re out to eat
Bibs

 

[Jellybean093]

@PillowsofFluff same as @WhatABore
Mine have always been amazing at the transition if cot to bed
It’s never disturbed their sleep, thank god!

 

[Justwannaseescreenshots]

My daughter will be 4 in July and she sleeps in our bed every night. I have to stay with her to go to sleep every night she has never fallen asleep by herself. I also have a 16 month old who was parented pretty much the same and we co slept for the first 9 months and then all of a sudden decided she wanted her own space she wasn’t settling next to me and preferred being the cot. She now goes to sleep independently every night but still wakes once for a feed. For a long time I blamed myself that my older one couldn’t sleep without me and wondered why she was so scared about sleeping by herself but I just believe that they all have different needs. There’s only just over 2 years between them yet are very very different in terms of sleep. Sorry for the long message but there were many times I encouraged her to sleep independently in her ‘big girl bed’ I tried everything honestly and nothing worked as she got too upset. I have now accepted that this is what she needs and will continue to sleep with her until she’s ready to sleep by herself. So I have no advice, just that it’s completely normal and in their own time they will sleep independently. Even now she will wake up more times in the night than my younger one. She is very independent in the day and very confident but at night she needs that support.

Totally totally agree with this. My 2,5 yo we have always bedshared and never really bothered us, now I’m bedsharing with my 10 month old and my partner with the toddler in another room and it’s come to the point where he will stick his fingers in his dads ears and up his nose and steal his pillow throughout the night just cos he is there but he never wakes he sleeps from 6-6:30 so now my partner comes and sleeps with me and baby cos we realised it’s just cos his dad is there that he fidgets and no longer needs that comfort.

All in their own time as you say they’re all different!

 

[PillowsofFluff]

What about staying with her to see if she’d go to sleep quicker that way? Once she gets upset it is presumably harder for her to then get to sleep, so maybe having you there the whole time would soothe her and relax her enough to drift off?

I know this is going to sound really awful but I don't want to start a slippery slope of her needing me there? I guess I just worry that once I start that, it will never stop, and she'll not settle for her grandparents etc (because they definitely would not be willing to sit with her for half an hour or whatever..) She may have changed but in the past us being there just made her act silly, blowing raspberries and poking our faces etc. But I'm so desperate, I'll try anything!

The only thing I would suggest is putting her to bed earlier ? My little boy goes to sleep between 630&7 and he doesn’t have a nap and he’s up between 6&7am. I take him up for a bath at 545. Worth a try. Maybe she’s too over tired that’s why it’s taking so long. If she’s up at 530:6 it’s a long time til 8pm x

Thanks, this was my thinking but on the occasions I have tried an early bed, it still takes til nearly 8 to fall asleep.

This was today's schedule:

Wake at approx 7.20am (she stirred about 5.30 but must have gone back off with no trouble as I didn't hear any more)
Nap at 12.45 - 2pm
Bath at 5.45 after dinner
CBeebies until 6.30pm
Upstairs for teeth brushing, pyjamas and a story.
Now it's at this point she starts to run around like a loon, full of energy and hyper.
Calm her down, maybe have another story, bed at 6.50pm

Because of my social anxiety I don't take her out to soft play or any playgroups or anything, so the most exercise she gets is playing in the garden, so I'm wondering if this is all my fault? She's not been to childcare in almost two weeks as her minder is on holiday, but she spent lots of time playing with her cousins over half term.

She's still awake now

 

[nurseren]

Tbh, it sounds terrible, but my daughter picked up a lot from TV she went from talking jibberish to talking sentences within months

With potty training though, personally I'd wait until he's got the speech to be able to tell you he needs to go

same with the TV. However now my Yorkshire accent son will saying bottom and water like an American…

I agree that toddlers do learn loads from TV. These days the programmes are much better and more educational than they were 20 years ago when my first baby was born.

Also I would highly recommend Canadian app ‘Super Simple Songs’ - it’s brilliant for language development and understanding.

LOVE SUPER SIMPLE SONGS!!! They have such good bangers on there! Rumbly in my tummy is a BOP

 

[watermelon sugar]

This is my little girl
I don't know if she like this due to my family being tall and were all soild but slightly overweight family amd half of the family is tall both sides (his family about the same as us) I just don't want people to think she heavy due to over eating (my neighbours know she doesn't eat much and active but do say she heavyweight but it's great it's just other people on the street that don't know us well)

honestly she looks fine, my son is not far off the same going off your pics, and he had his 2 year review the other day and my HV said he was normal
weight and height for his age. Try not to worry about it, I know that things people say can bother you though but try not to let it. People should keep their nonsense to themselves x

 

[Dollenganger]

Yeah he does. I can usually figure out what he wants pretty quick. Like he will point to something he wants so I’m sure once he realises what the potty is for he will get it or point to it? He’s starting school next sept not this one but just feeling the pressure. Every time I see my mum she’s like you need to get the nappies off him. But do I have to do it riiiight now?

I’d say you know him best. He doesn’t need to be talking to PT if he can communicate in other ways. But. It should be your decision, not people around you putting pressure on.

 

[WhatABore]

Does anyone have any advice on how to drop the night feeds. My one year old- only just turned one, wakes 2/3 times a night to feed- bottle fed. And it’s probably my fault but he associates settling to sleep with a bottle. Which makes night times hard. We really need to break the habit. He drinks very little in the day, despite it being offered and available at all times. And saves himself for all fluids at night.

We still a bottle of milk at bed time, she doesn't fall asleep drinking it though.
But up until a month ago, she was still waking for a bottle (she's 11 months)
So we started by only offering 2oz for a week.
And then fed her the 2oz whilst still in the cot and just shhhing and rubbing her stomach until she went back to sleep.
It took a bit of patience, she wasn't keen to start with. Kept getting up. So we just kept laying her back down.
Eventually she got the hint it was bed time and she'd only get up once to be laid back down. And then we removed the bottle completely and if she'd wake, we'd just shhh her and rub her stomach and now she rarely wakes.
Occasionally she will wake still, but we just shh her and it literally takes minutes now

 

[Babyyoda88]

Hello all please can I get some advice? I've got myself in a bit of a state so I'm looking fo some kind of reassurance - if any. My little boy turned 2 in November and he is super sociable and outgoing, and such a cheeky little guy. He goes to nursery 2 times a week and I picked him up today and his nursery worker said "nothing to worry about, but I just wanted to let you know that he is struggling with transition with activities." She basically said that for example he will be playing lovely with other children on the floor and then they will say to him right, we're going to make cakes now and apparently he gets really upset and needs reassurance from them?
I have never really noticed this at home before, he has his usual 'tantrums' but all children are like that. I'm starting to blame myself now and wondering if it's my fault?! Also not sure what she was trying to get at and now I'm panicking that they think something is wrong with him. I think I am probably just making something out of nothing, but adding that into being a hormonal pregnant mess it's really not helping. If anyone has experienced this or has any knowledge I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you x

Sorry I haven’t read all the replies so it might have been mentioned. I’m an early years teacher and really anyone, not just young children, would find it really hard and annoying being told to stop engaging in the activity they’re engrossed in and to move onto something they’re not particularly in the mood for. Have they tried giving him warnings/a heads up before the next activity or task is going to start e.g in five minutes we are going to be baking or you have five minutes before it’s time to bake etc and then (because what’s the concept of time to young children) having an actual sand timer or some form of measurement of time in view of your little boy so he can physically see when it’s time to stop playing and do something else. Might not necessarily mean he’s happy to stop his lovely game especially at first, but at least it’s visually giving him support in transitions.

 

[Definitelyme]

Question for those of you with experience of toddlers. Have a 2 year old staying over the weekend. Was told by mum that they’re a good eater with a list of foods they love but currently not finding that to be the case and worried they’re not eating enough. Today they’ve managed a crumpet, a little bit of cheese, half a bag of crisps, 2 chips and a bag of iced gems.

Also worried that most of the above has little nutritional value. Have tried fruit and vegetables, pasta etc. they’re being refused.

Is there anything you would recommend to try that is a crowd pleaser?

For a weekend I wouldn’t worry massively about the nutritional gaps, it won’t have a long term effect. Toast with peanut butter and banana is a go to here for a snack or small lunch. And I’ve never met a child yet who doesn’t like pizza. Fish fingers or chicken goujons and potato waffles are always a winner too.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Mine is 14 months and has dropped to just one nap at lunch time. He’s naturally now going to bed earlier 7 instead of 8 and waking up later. So is still getting the hours in.
I’m so glad to see I’m not the only one who feeds them to sleep and allows them to sleep in their bed. Everyone says to me ‘no no that’s really wrong’ but I do what I have to to get decent sleep. Even then he’s very wakeful in the nights. None of my others were like this, all sleeping through from 6-9 months.
He’s still very young so I’m continuing as long as he needs.

You’re defo not the only one! If you don’t have a wakeful baby it’s easy to say what not to do but the reality is so different. Especially when you have more than one!
You’re right he is very young, and there’s no need to change anything unless you or your little one needs it to. Mine was still really wakeful until I stopped nightfeeding at 20 months. She’s still not the best sleeper, especially if she’s teething or unwell but much better compared to then.

 

[al255]

I’ve not started potty training with my 2.5 year old yet. She isn’t showing any signs and if I ask her if she needs a wee she says no or if she’s done a poo when she has she says no. She’s 0 concept of her bladder control yet, or knowing when her nappy needs changing etc. I’m going to leave it a few more months and try it then. I’m not in any rush to be honest just one of those that needs doing before they start school. I’d rather wait and she was ready then try and force it.

 

[Definitelyme]

My kids all wake up until over age 3, or 4. I breastfeed at night until around 2, on demand, as anything for a quiet life it is really normal for older kids to continue to wake - as it is for adults as well.

 

[Jellybean093]

No advice but my 3 year old is exactly the same even down to times, we’ve kind of accepted it now as we don’t want him to wake up our nearly 2 year old screaming the place down by forcing him to stay in his bed (also cba to fight that battle when there’s so many other joyous battles at 3!) He’s already said when our new baby comes he’ll be sleeping in his own bed so he doesn’t have to hear the crying he knows what he’s doing! But he obviously feels safe in our bed so I’m just rolling with it.

This Was my 5 year old when he was about 2.5/3. Crept in every night, but when I was heavily pregnant, we told him he was going to be a big brother and he had to stay in his bed and be a big boy, which worked, until last night when he snuck in and took up half the bed I’m dreading moving my 2 year old into a bed, as he’s such a good sleeper, I don’t want to ruin that by giving him the freedom

 

[WhatABore]

When did everyone start potty training their sons? FTM mum here and my LB is 19mo, just wondering when I should start?

Also, we're going through an awful stage of him trying to bite and nip/grab - any suggestions on how to stop it?

We started right after she turned 2.
Lockdown happened a month after her birthday and we were like.. You know what? We're home 24/7 let's try.
And it worked.

Just remember that night time is a separate thing though. That's a hormone that develops. She's only just started being dry at night since she turned 4