Toddler advice thread #4

[al255]

It sounds confusing.
I'm still confused how even getting 10 hours a week free means you're only saving £35 a month? £35 a week sounds more likely?

I pay £266 now and my bill for April is £230.

My invoice atm says 11 hours free (that’s the 15 hours free government funded for 2-3 year olds) then cos she goes from 7:30am and stays till
5:30pm that’s at an added cost. It’s madness how much they charge.

For instance if she went term time and I wanted to pay from 7:30am to 9am it’s £12.50! Wow i just feel like it makes
No sense how I’m still paying out £230 when she’s meant to get free hours and she only goes 2 days a week!
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Is it because they add extra costs to cover food and nappies when you’re using the free hours?

She’s not in nappies but when she was I’d have to bring them anyway. The added costs are crazy for term time only. I’m going to speak to her tomorrow again cos it’s madness the cost really. Is it even worth me doing the extra bit at work

 

[al255]

Ah, that’s fair enough. I love doing the evening , and was gutted we couldn’t do it. Kids love it. Haven’t done any other havens. Done Park last year, and that was ok
I’m a sucker for any caravan holiday though and would love to own one when I’m old and grey (although I’m half way there with the grey hair )

I wish she wanted to do it but I’m so tired anyway I don’t think I’d stay awake I was looking at doing the NC500 in Scotland but it’s either hire a camper-van (I don’t trust myself driving a campervan LOL) or take the car and camp, or hire hotels which is pricy this is instead of going away abroad in May for 10 nights.. it’s just so expensive. I don’t wanna go in the uk really as if it pisses it down it’ll be a waste

 

[al255]

Started potty training this morning. Not going well at all. Happy to sit on the potty/toilet but won't do anything on it. Comes off and straight away goes and wees herself or pees on the floor in the playroom.

Do you think she’s “enough” ready? I found with mini A the first time she wasn’t ready no matter how much I tried. Months later it was a breeze, shes been potty trained since end of October I think / beginning of November and it’s been a breeze. It was only since January she’s stopped having daily accidents

 

[WhatABore]

I was telling my dad how it works and he said so it’s
Not free at all and I said well no! I certainly can’t afford to just do termtime only and have to find childcare for the 6 weeks off etc, it’s madness! I’m purposely staying part time at work (3 days) when she starts school next year as it’s easier to find 3 days childcare than 5
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We will have abit of help but the 6 weeks are gunna be a killer, I’ll take 2 weeks off, her dad will have to and then 2 weeks holiday club

I do think it's just your nursery's policy that seem to do it this way.
Is there other nurseries?

Unfortunately it's the joy of being a working parent, something everyone struggles with

 

[WhatABore]

It’s just me needing a pass so paid outright as was only £89 so not bad really. When mini A is older it’ll be worth it I think for her but thankfully most places she’s not too pricy. What website allows you to pay monthly?! I think the more premium passes was monthly but didn’t need the dates anyway as I’d checked the dates and it fits us well. It’s such a good bargain, I was going to buy the pass when it was at £69 and I thought oh I’ll leave it for abit and it went up!

On the actual merlin website.
Just looked and it's 10.99 now. But it still would have saved us a lot of money!
This is just for the standard one

 

[WhatABore]

I’m confused with it all. I don’t get it and it baffles me, I understand the “minimum” I guess but even so, i get 11 hours free now with the 15 hours but even that’s 11 hours. Makes no sense sorry I’m moaning I know we are lucky to even get any free hours but I was looking forward to not having to pay out for nursery much from April and it’s a grand saving of £35
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It’s daft. Even if I did the term time only I’d be paying £12.50 for 7:30-9am and I can’t change my hours at work to suit as I’m the only one who does my job they are a fab nursery though but the policy is daft

It sounds confusing.
I'm still confused how even getting 10 hours a week free means you're only saving £35 a month? £35 a week sounds more likely?

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Oh really. What happened with you if you don’t mind me asking. This is all new to me. Should I email them outplaying my concerns and ask for a meeting or is a WhatsApp message ok? We usually use WhatsApp to talk.

I would prefer face to face if it was me. i feel like I don’t get my point across on email very wel.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

@strawberrysunshine_x Sorry I didn't see your reply until I saw @al255 's reply if that makes sense.

Fridays are the only days he gets a proper nap in his cot and sometimes he plays catch up for the days he doesn't nap or just has a 20 minute snooze in the car. He's also frequently awake at 5.30-6am and usually very keen to go for a nap at 10.30am on Fridays. But perhaps today I mis-read the signals today and will try taking him for a later nap next week.

A nap ending at 2pm would be a bit dicey as I've got the school run at 2.30-3.30. Doing that with a grumpy toddler is definitely not fun!

It’s so hard isn’t it trying to decide whats best for them. Especially when they are grumpy. Does he not get chance to nap properly during the week. Try nap for 1130 see how that goes.

 

[al255]

I know! I wouldn’t tell my older kids that at the ages they are now! I honestly feel traumatised for the little girl having to hear it. Stay close or you’ll be taken. Stay close or you will die.

I’ve said it twice to her. It’s not a common occurance no harm done. She’s not going to grow up to be an anxious mess cos two times at 3 years old I’ve told her not to run off or go near the road cos it’s not safe and I’ve been drastic about the wording when I’ve told her in less dramatic ways and it doesn’t get my point across.
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We were often threatened with the "naughty children's home" and Christ it put the fear of god into me.
I still misbehaved though, because the children's home never materialised.
In reality, my parents should of got down to my level and reasoned with me in an appropriate way and offered me an alternative solution.

My Dad always used to tell me if we were naughty we’d get sent to a naughty boys and girls school. I’m talking being 8, 9, 10 years old. My dad used to shout when we were naughty and it doesn’t do anything. Granted there’s days I shout at mini A but it makes the situation worse

 

[LT2201]

First time posting, my almost 2.5yr old son never dances and doesn't really like to sing. He does like music(if I go to hell I'll hear green grass on repeat forever). Otherwise he's developmentally normal, just wondering if anyone elses toddler is like this?

 

[Definitelyme]

My husbands grandma has died, daughter is 3, should I tell her tomorrow? First death that she’ll sort of understand I guess. She wasn’t particularly close, grandma was 102 and in a care home so not someone we saw often and she last saw her in January. Do I sit down and tell her tomorrow or deal with it as it arises? E.g. if she sees daddy upset then explain ‘daddy is sad because great grandma has died’.

Even if she didn’t see her a lot did you guys talk about her at home?
My granny died last year, and my 3rd was just about to turn 4, she hadn’t seen my granny in a while because of care home, Covid etc. but I would have visited my granny and talked about her a lot so she was very much part of our life. I told them when it happened. My older two obviously understand more and were upset, my 3rd wasn’t overly fussed as it doesn’t mean so much at that age.
If his gran isn’t someone you spoke about often, then I think the second way you mentioned is fine.

 

[givemethegossx]

my daughter is 1.5 years old and still can't fall asleep on her own, will someone please say i'm not alone in this

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Is he hungry mid afternoon? My 4yo has a real dip in the afternoons when she is tired anyway, but when her bloody sugar dips she can get really cross. A good, filling, snack really helps even her out.

I always give him a snack at 2/3 and he sometimes has something else at 4 as well. He’s got a good appetite. I think he’s just got loads of energy cos he’s been a bit stuck in we went a walk Sunday and he couldn’t wait to run off but he was very cautious with his arm he can’t run the same. But he’s going on a nice trip with nursery this aft. He was up 3-5 I feel dead groggy today but I’m hoping things will get better now he’s back at nursery

 

[LilyRose1234]

Similar to that really. He hasn’t woken in the night for agessssss now. I can’t remember the last time. I hope I haven’t jinxed myself . I changed his nappy at 1130 the other night and he didn’t wake

Haha fingers crossed but in that case I’d risk it!

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Since my 3 y/o had her flu nasal spray in October she’s hardly been as cough/cold/chest type bugs from nursery .. the nurse who did it told me it can help them not pick up as many colds (not sure how true it is..) but she seems to have less!

She's had the flu spray and it's not made a difference - gutted!

On that note, she'll be 3 and 4 months next week, and I haven't heard anything about her preschool jabs. Should I have heard by now or do you think the process starts once she hits that age?

 

[al255]

Oh, so you're only getting 20 hours then?
30 hours is term time, so it'd be 24 hours.
But it looks like you're only getting 20 hours, not 30

Even if it was 13 hours a week free, should still be more than £35 a month

There’s a minimum amount of days she has to go I think it’s 3 to have the 30 hours.. I’ve asked nursery and they said it’s right what I’ve been told by accounts. It’s just stupid. Funded hours are only 9-3 so even anything outside of that is paid for

 

[al255]

We do hair in the shower, a sponge or flannel to cover eyes and I just keep repeating to look up at the ceiling and it rarely goes in their eyes

she hates the shower head that’s even worse. I use a cup and tell her to put her head up but she just screams, it’s dreadful. I’m washing her hair daily now it’s summer and I try and do it soon as she gets in the bath. She just hates any water going on her face but then she’s happy to play on holiday with water going on her face drama queen

 

[Hushpuppy]

Hello do any of you have headbutters? My youngest is two and headbuts things when angry the floor ,walls, objects anything she can get to. She bruised herself the other day. It's repeatedly as well. One of my children is autistic and I've seen some really extreme behaviour from them but this headbutting is something else

Yes my little boy is a head-butter. He's 18 months and it started a few months ago with him almost "charging" (crawling) at people in excitement and bashing into them. But now it's more if he's sulking he will headbutt things (mainly the sofa because it doesn't hurt). He headbutt the bathroom floor the other day and burst into tears and stopped straight away. I spoke to the HV about it and she advised to try and distract him when he's doing it, or to move him.

 

[xoxo GG]

Has anybody explained death/loss to a toddler before?

I don’t exactly want to explain death to him as it’s grim and scary but my little one keeps asking about his grandma, my mum, who died when I was a teenager. Tbh it’s upsetting me because I miss her so much every day, and I get really emotional when he asks about her. I’ve always made sure he knew who his grandma was and we have photos up, but it’s only recently he’s starting to ask where she is and saying he wants to see her/she’s going to come and visit etc. I’ve sort of brushed it off and just said she isn’t here anymore but it’s building up and up to him asking the inevitable “why isn’t she here?” Question and I don’t know how to answer it. All I know is that I don’t want to say she got poorly because I’m worried he will think he’s going to die whenever he’s poorly.

We didn’t say about my Granny being poorly we just said when you get old, your body stops working as well and she’s died. Simple and sweet because the question crops up again and again, and she doesn’t really understand different ages. She gets confused about not being able to visit Granny and I just say if she ever feels sad to talk to her picture of Granny. We repeat the same thing each time to avoid confusion and just trying to avoid her having a fear of death/how it happens x

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My 3yo has picked up the phrase "what the hell" which I hadn't even realised we said the way she says it is hilarious
Also, "bloody adverts" if an advert interrupts her watching Spider in the Bath on Youtube

It’s only this week and last I’d say maybe slightly longer he has started repeating what we are saying !! I’m going to have to watch my mouth. Especially in the car I have bad language due to other drivers


Another topic does anyone know a good brand for nappies that are bigger than size 8. Mine has out grown these now and I’m struggling to find any that fit. I have tried to Aldi night time ones but they leave blue stains on his bum and I was panicking about it . I’m just looking at Nuggies night time but I’ve never used this brand before.