Toddler advice thread #3

[WhatABore]

I think it’s shocking parents have to fork out for a costume!! Its not your issue if they want to hold a nativity especially with the rising cost of living and bills.. the last thing you wanna be pissing around for is a costume

The letter says "We understand times are difficult so we'll accept a hand made costume"
Like we have time or anything to even hand make one anyway?
She's an angel so it says she needs an angel costume, white tights, white shoes, wings and a halo!
Of course all of amazon are sold out of her size.
Found a white fairy costume on Argos and that'll have to do. Had to buy her a halo, £7 for that as its the only one that will arrive on time.
Not buying shoes. She's got some silver sparkly ones. She can wear them. Even though it says white

 

[WhatABore]

Anyone have any tips on taking a toddler to the zoo? He has just turned 3 but is more like 2 in his behaviours, temperament and ability to communicate. He loves animals but I’m worried it might be a bit overwhelming for him.

Don't set your expectations too high. At that age, my 4yo wouldnt have had any interest, and if she did, she'd see them and want to move on as soon as she's looked at them for 1 second
It was the same when we went to sea life, we'd get through the whole thing in about 15 minutes

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Sent mini Pillows back to her childminder today as she's been off sick with a cold/cough that she came down with on Saturday.

She lasted 2.5 hours before I got a call to pick her up as she was 'in floods of tears and wanting her mummy'. Got her home and she's been fine the rest of the day. Tempted to send her back tomorrow as there's actually nothing wrong with her and I need to work but I know I'll get the same happen tomorrow.

A childminder called you to collect her because she was crying and wanted you? Whaaaaaat?! Kids always want their mum. How are you meant to plan anything or get anything done?!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My dad was always shouting at us when we were younger. Especially if we were fighting. He used to get really bad migraines so it made him grumpy. And I always said I wouldn’t shout like he did. But I think I do . Not very often but sometimes they need a telling off don’t they

He’s woke up in a good mood so hopefully we’ll Have a nice day

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Awwwww I found the nights Mini A would say yes to my bed she was wide awake and it was just abit of a disaster I’ve always been slightly jealous of those who get snuggles at night but the odd times she’s fallen asleep in my bed I think there’s no way you’re staying hun

The other morning I woke up and my little boys hand was on my cheek . It was adorable. I don’t mind most nights but if we have a bad night and he disturbs me by being restless it does take it toll but that’s quite rare

 

[al255]

I don’t have any experience in the area tbh, but I know with my own kids they find it harder if I take them to my parents and leave them (so I walk out) than if my parents come to pick them up, or if we meet eg at the park and my parents take them home. It’s then them going with granny and grandad rather than me leaving them.
I know you say her dad is a lazy one when it comes to transport, but I would say to him “look, this isn’t working right now and we need to try a few things to fix it. Either you make the effort or she won’t be able to come”

Or have you anyone who could do the drop of for you?

Sounds like shit for you and her

No, I don’t really see the point in getting anyone else to drop her off and it’s their time messing around, if my dad did it she would just get confused thinking she was going there and it shouldn’t be as rubbish as it is for her being sad but I can’t do anything else, she knows she’s going. I feel like I go round in circles sometimes with him cos he doesn’t think of nice things to do inside with her. He could easily take her places but it’s hard with the current rail strikes and he doesn’t drive. But I think eventually she will get bored and won’t go at all

It could be literally that her preference is to stay with you. My daughter’s preference is to be with me 24/7, it’s a very natural urge for kids. She loves her dad but that compulsion to be tucked into my side is much bigger. It also might be an extra part of her routine she hasn’t got capacity for yet. She’s only 3, she will need some time to adjust, it’s really hard, you could maybe ask her dad what he’s got planned for her ahead of drop off so you can get her excited about going?

she’s been going to his house since she was 1 it’s not a new change for her, it’s just got worse since winter has come! He doesn’t do anything with her so I can’t even say he is taking her anywhere cos it doesn’t happen. His mum took her to the park today and he didn’t go which I thought was a shame!

 

[Pinkii]

We're having an awful time of it lately, with everything - sleep has gone to pot, she's wild and hyper at bedtime, bites and scratches me during the day if I do something she doesn't like ie, turn the tv off, make her get dressed etc. I've shouted at her a lot, and I'm not proud of it. Then I spend the evening in floods of tears feeling guilty. God, 3 is an AWFUL age.

everyone goes on about terrible 2’s but NO ONE mentions threenager years!!

3 without a doubt was the hardest age for me, i spent many evenings crying for thr exact same reason.

I found once she went to preschool (part time) it really helped, and happy to report 4 has been SOO much easier! ( there are still tough days because they have such attitudes at this age and answer back but actually have more understanding if you ask something of them )

 

[WhatABore]

Oh, so you also leave him, even though you think he’s dead, because anything’s better than actually waking him up, right? Because this is definitely me

Yes. And then to convince myself it's okay to leave them (it sounds terrible and would like to confirm if I was seriously worried, it wouldn't be the case )
But I'm like well, if they're already dead, waiting another 30 minutes or so to see if they get up won't make a difference.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Depends on the day for us Some days he is a little angel sent from heaven others he’s like the devil. Overall he is a lovely kid though

 

[Jellybean093]

Hope all the poorly minis get better asap and hopefully all out of the way before the big man comes
3yo has the brightest bed cheeks tonight and poorly eyes. Hope he’s not getting ill again. These poor kids can’t catch a break xx

 

[LongishCat]

Yeah If I’ll just say something about mine like oh he still doesn’t wanna sleep I’m his own bed. She is like well mine loves her room snd wants to show it off to everyone. I know she is proud her kid is doing so well but sometimes I don’t need to know things like that. I sent her a quote the other day about embracing the time they want to sleep in your bed etc and she said we never allow them to sleep in our bed cos of what could happen. Like each to their own but thanks for that . Sometimes I wish I didn’t tell her he sleeps in my bed.

So you're both trying to prove you're right and getting on each other's nerves?

 

[GlennCoco]

MiniGlenCoco handled today better than I thought she would. Last year she was really overwhelmed and I was expecting the same only with the addition of the baby.

But she did really well. I have a feeling that being at our house with just us really helped whereas last year we were at my mum's and it was chaos anyway we'll have to see how we get on next year

Hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas, thank you for all the advice everyone gives

 

[Jellybean093]

There’s nothing quite like the guilt after you’ve blown up at them during a meltdown, and they snap out of it and you’re left feeling like shit because they’re just the best little person & really you should know better but in that moment? It’s breaking point & you just can’t take anymore, then you start shouting. The worst.

I don’t know if it’s the build up to Christmas & they’re starting to be over stimulated, but EVERYONE I know with 3/4 year olds is having a shitter of a time at the moment.

You’re all doing amazingly, even with the shouty breaks.

My 3yo was testing me yesterday. Probably not as bad as I felt, but because I felt shit, he was really getting to me. Anyway, I sat with him about 7 last night, and he went ‘feeling better mummy?’ And I honestly nearly suffocated him I hugged him so hard

 

[GlennCoco]

MiniGlenCoco goes "GET OUT OF THE WAY" when we're behind another car

 

[xoxo GG]

The one thing we found that worked was options. Do you want to wear this or this, which shoes those or those, with her uniform I give her the option of trousers, dress or skirt etc. It takes away a bit of the desperation to be independent and allows her some control over the situation. It doesn’t always work but it’s definitely improved it

 

[Definitelyme]

Don't set your expectations too high. At that age, my 4yo wouldnt have had any interest, and if she did, she'd see them and want to move on as soon as she's looked at them for 1 second
It was the same when we went to sea life, we'd get through the whole thing in about 15 minutes

I think that is a thing with sea life places. We’ve been to two and been in and out in 30 mins. Biggest wastes of money ever! Neither were huge but still

 

[watermelon sugar]

I used to do the “excuse me” method.. so something I’ve done for ages is ask her to roll over and give her teddy a cuddle then I’ll say “excuse me I need to go and turn the heating on” and she won’t want to come cos it’s boring and pointless.. then I manage to get out! Some nights she wants me to lie next to her for a little bit and that’s fine but I’d say 5/7 nights the excuse me method works for me!

God you’re lucky, mine jumps up and goes ‘I’LL COME TOO’

 

[Meg78]

My child’s toy of choice today is……. A bag of baby new potatoes

 

[Definitelyme]

I didn’t think of it that way but I was just sending it to say isn’t this cute. It was about them not staying little for long. I’ve said she is a fab mum and her kids adore her.

But if you know it’s not how she parents then she obviously won’t find it cute, think how you’d feel if she sent you something front her “side”…
You guys obviously have very different parenting styles, and that can make friendship difficult while you have young kids.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

It’s just us two so I have time and unfortunately, I’m full of patience to make sure she eats something before bathtime/bedtime it’s my own fault..!!

My daughter is very picky and a terrible sleeper so I always make sure she has something in her tummy for bed. We do a safe food with dinner and then a plain bedtime snack about 45 mins later like a banana or yoghurt or toast. That way she doesn’t associate not eating dinner and getting more food.