Toddler advice thread #3

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@WeHadFunRight Thank you for replying. I may have mis-represented Mr B here a little. He's always been a night owl and quite happy to stay up late. Meanwhile I am a bit more of an early riser. Sometimes I wake up at 5am but my eldest is a light sleeper. One time I did head downstairs to catch up on some house stuff and even creeping past his bedroom door woke him up. So now I lie in bed, doom scroll and read my Kindle if I can be bothered. Different schedules at play here. Weekends are a bit iffy as 5yo plays two sports on both days. Mr B takes him on Saturday and I take him on Sunday. I do admit that on Sundays I get an hour to listen to a podcast whilst waiting for him to finish.

At the moment it feels like we get so little family time and I feel I can't ask for big chunks of the weekend to myself. Especially as he tends to keep his hobby time to when the kids are in bed. As @Megatron1298 says, it's finding the energy to focus on something. Mr B does offer to make packed lunches etc. but it's the mental load of delegating that. I've tried before and it just doesn't set in.

I am hoping once the 2yo gets a bit older and more independent in a sense that I'll get a bit more time back.
I totally get you with the mental load thing. My husband offers to help with things, but I’m like unless you just DO I’m not going to tell you what needs to be done as then I may as well just do it myself!
 
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Hello all, parent here to a very demanding 2yo and a placid 5yo. Think if the 2yo had come first we would have stopped at one 😂

A bit of a deep query but how are people doing with finding themselves again post-motherhood? I was very late to the idea of having children. It was definitely not something I had in my life plan at all, not even as a "will maybe do that someday."

I find parenting extremely exhausting and enjoy working as a break from this. At the moment I work PT whilst Mr B works FT. He seems to have more energy than me and still finds time for many hobbies and interests whilst most of mine had faded away. Unfortunately evenings are the only time I have to spend on myself and usually I'm in bed by 9pn because I'm so shattered. Both kids are in bed by 7.30pm and usually asleep by 8pm. That leaves the window of an hour of sorting out what needs done from the day plus getting ready for the next.

I know this isn't toddler centric but I'm really resenting the time Mr B has had to grow professionally as well as doing other hobbies. I do say my only hobby is reading but that's purely because it's easy to do around the children. We use grandparents for childcare whilst I'm working and there's no-one else that can babysit really.

What I suppose I'm asking is has anyone else encountered this and what have they done to overcome it?
The best thing I ever did was work longer days and take more time off. I work 30 hours over 3 days but I have childcare for 35 hours so Thursday mornings are mine to do what I want (not housework, food shopping, laundry). I jump out of bed with a spring in my step on Thursdays 😀
 
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Has anyone on here had experience with a broken arm before. Yesterday I pretty much followed him round all day 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m really scared of him tripping up and banging it !! Bless him he’s doing so well but is struggling to do some things as he is right handed and it’s his bloody right arm 😭😭😭.
 
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Has anyone on here had experience with a broken arm before. Yesterday I pretty much followed him round all day 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m really scared of him tripping up and banging it !! Bless him he’s doing so well but is struggling to do some things as he is right handed and it’s his bloody right arm 😭😭😭.
Not an arm, but a leg. They adapt really quickly, and after a few days (and when the hard cast is on) we found the pain was minimal. I know it feels like the hardest thing in the world now, but he will adapt very easily, and the time passes much more quickly than you’d think. The first few days are hardest.
 
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Not an arm, but a leg. They adapt really quickly, and after a few days (and when the hard cast is on) we found the pain was minimal. I know it feels like the hardest thing in the world now, but he will adapt very easily, and the time passes much more quickly than you’d think. The first few days are hardest.
He hasn’t been in that much pain from what I can tell which I’m very surprised at. But it’s just hard 😞 at least he’s sleeping thank god. I hope it does quick. I don’t like he’ll be missing out on nursery as well. And I’m not getting paid at work for the next week I’ve had to take special parental leave. He is doing very well I’m just so worried about him hurting it. He was a bit wobbly on his feet yesterday but he’s doing ok. My partner said to take him a walk outside so I think we might do that tomorrow or a car ride just for something to do.
 
He hasn’t been in that much pain from what I can tell which I’m very surprised at. But it’s just hard 😞 at least he’s sleeping thank god. I hope it does quick. I don’t like he’ll be missing out on nursery as well. And I’m not getting paid at work for the next week I’ve had to take special parental leave. He is doing very well I’m just so worried about him hurting it. He was a bit wobbly on his feet yesterday but he’s doing ok. My partner said to take him a walk outside so I think we might do that tomorrow or a car ride just for something to do.
It is really hard for them to hurt it when it’s in the cast. Any bumps don’t hurt it, and since they can’t use their hand well they aren’t picking much up to put strain on it.
Have nursery said they won’t take him? If not, I would send him anyway, a change of scene and toys will be good for him.
 
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It is really hard for them to hurt it when it’s in the cast. Any bumps don’t hurt it, and since they can’t use their hand well they aren’t picking much up to put strain on it.
Have nursery said they won’t take him? If not, I would send him anyway, a change of scene and toys will be good for him.
I think he is allowed back when the pins are out 😊. Which is sometime next week. So hopefully next Monday he’ll be able to go.
 
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Has anyone on here had experience with a broken arm before. Yesterday I pretty much followed him round all day 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m really scared of him tripping up and banging it !! Bless him he’s doing so well but is struggling to do some things as he is right handed and it’s his bloody right arm 😭😭😭.
My only experience is my nephew who got home from getting his cast out on and proceeded to hit his sister with it 😆
 
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My only experience is my nephew who got home from getting his cast out on and proceeded to hit his sister with it 😆
Oh thank god I don’t have that problem. I’ve had to cut up an old on top I can’t get anything on him. He’s got it in a sling they advised to leave it on. I don’t think I’d get it back on him if I took it off.
 
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Not toddler related as such but me related 😭 I went into a glass door and it smashed….. this is the result! I’ve got surgery on Tuesday. (Click spoiler to see the awful cut - TW ITS AWFUL!



My daughter has been with her dad all weekend as I’m not much use, can’t really pick her up or play as it’s so so sore 😫 .. she came to see me today and she kissed it better. Glad surgery is Tuesday as she’s going to be at nursery. Need to ask nursery if I can drop her off 5-10 mins earlier. I need to be at hospital 25 mins away at 8am and nursery opens at 7:30am…. 🙈 there’s always loads of traffic so getting her inside for 7:35am and leaving even means I’ll be late. Hoping they won’t bother but I’m thinking their insurance won’t cover them till half 7 would it?? 😫
 
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Not toddler related as such but me related 😭 I went into a glass door and it smashed….. this is the result! I’ve got surgery on Tuesday. (Click spoiler to see the awful cut - TW ITS AWFUL!



My daughter has been with her dad all weekend as I’m not much use, can’t really pick her up or play as it’s so so sore 😫 .. she came to see me today and she kissed it better. Glad surgery is Tuesday as she’s going to be at nursery. Need to ask nursery if I can drop her off 5-10 mins earlier. I need to be at hospital 25 mins away at 8am and nursery opens at 7:30am…. 🙈 there’s always loads of traffic so getting her inside for 7:35am and leaving even means I’ll be late. Hoping they won’t bother but I’m thinking their insurance won’t cover them till half 7 would it?? 😫
Can her dad not take her just this once. Hope you’re ok
 
Can her dad not take her just this once. Hope you’re ok
he works in another town and he gets a lift as he doesn’t drive, just frustrating. She will be unsettled if I don’t take her as it’s pretty much been me, I’m just gunna get there for 7.25am if I can’t drop her off any earlier ☹ fml….. I’m dreading surgery tbh , I’ve never had anything stitched up so I’m scared for the pain after 😂🙃
 
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he works in another town and he gets a lift as he doesn’t drive, just frustrating. She will be unsettled if I don’t take her as it’s pretty much been me, I’m just gunna get there for 7.25am if I can’t drop her off any earlier ☹ fml….. I’m dreading surgery tbh , I’ve never had anything stitched up so I’m scared for the pain after 😂🙃
I think you’ll be ok. When I gave birth I had stitches and they honestly weren’t bad at all and were healed afteR two and a half weeks. Can you keep her off nursery and ask a grand parent to have her instead. Would that be easier
 
Not toddler related as such but me related 😭 I went into a glass door and it smashed….. this is the result! I’ve got surgery on Tuesday. (Click spoiler to see the awful cut - TW ITS AWFUL!



My daughter has been with her dad all weekend as I’m not much use, can’t really pick her up or play as it’s so so sore 😫 .. she came to see me today and she kissed it better. Glad surgery is Tuesday as she’s going to be at nursery. Need to ask nursery if I can drop her off 5-10 mins earlier. I need to be at hospital 25 mins away at 8am and nursery opens at 7:30am…. 🙈 there’s always loads of traffic so getting her inside for 7:35am and leaving even means I’ll be late. Hoping they won’t bother but I’m thinking their insurance won’t cover them till half 7 would it?? 😫
Speak to the nursery manager and explain… it’s just 5 minutes and a VERY special circumstance- could they take her at the door for you at 7:30 at very least save you doing all the getting in and faffing? I’d be so surprised if they couldn’t help in some way x
 
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@al255 do you not have family that she could go to instead or drop her off for you? Ouch that looks painful you poor thing
my parents are away in Spain, my daughters dad can’t help as he has work and can’t get a lift any other way understandably it’s just one of those things.. his mum has work (she’s a taxi operator and can’t get out as no cover) and there’s nobody else really. My best friend is taking me to my appt and my other best friend is a teacher so she has to be at work for half 7, my bf is on jury service in the opposite direction to our town. It’s just stressful, ir would be more stressful if it was on a non nursery day though 🙈 If my parents weren’t away it would be no issues all as they’re retired😂 typical!!!
Thanks for the wishes, it was painful at the time. The tetanus jab they gave me in a&e hurt more 😂😂😫
 
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We'd taken to not shutting mini Pillows stair gate at night as she'd never made any attempt to leave her room.. anyway the last couple of weeks, she's started to toddle on through to our bed and just climb in in the middle of the night. Stupidly we let her do it.. anyway last night it was midnight, and I decided that was too early (I don't mind 3/4am) so took her back in her room and shut the gate this time. Cue massive meltdown, clinging on to the gate, for over an hour... eventually my partner slept on her floor and she was fine.
If you ask her in the morning why she came in, she says she's scared of monsters. I know we shouldn't have let her do it to begin with and she's now understandably confused by the mixed messaging.. but does anyone have any tips? How do I get her to stop being scared of her room? She has a nightlight etc. Or do I just go with it and let her come in to our bed?
 
We'd taken to not shutting mini Pillows stair gate at night as she'd never made any attempt to leave her room.. anyway the last couple of weeks, she's started to toddle on through to our bed and just climb in in the middle of the night. Stupidly we let her do it.. anyway last night it was midnight, and I decided that was too early (I don't mind 3/4am) so took her back in her room and shut the gate this time. Cue massive meltdown, clinging on to the gate, for over an hour... eventually my partner slept on her floor and she was fine.
If you ask her in the morning why she came in, she says she's scared of monsters. I know we shouldn't have let her do it to begin with and she's now understandably confused by the mixed messaging.. but does anyone have any tips? How do I get her to stop being scared of her room? She has a nightlight etc. Or do I just go with it and let her come in to our bed?
I can only talk from a push over puppy parent perspective (try saying that after a few) but I think I’ve just accepted they’re only little and it’s weird waking up by yourself in a big room without the two people you love more than anything. Mine was saying this morning when she wakes up she feels scared without us. I asked her where the most likely place for us to be is and she said “in the house” but it doesn’t stop their little minds going to a worst case scenario.

As for her only just starting to do it maybe she’s processing something at the moment or there’s a change going on in her routine? It’s probably a phase and I guess it’s working out whether to ride it out with option A or option B - whatever they are? (Sorry I should add half this is from a gentle parenting author so not really my opinion but something I’ve got off someone who has done research on children’s sleep and culture norms) I’ll try and find the name x

this woman https://sarahockwell-smith.com/
 
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We'd taken to not shutting mini Pillows stair gate at night as she'd never made any attempt to leave her room.. anyway the last couple of weeks, she's started to toddle on through to our bed and just climb in in the middle of the night. Stupidly we let her do it.. anyway last night it was midnight, and I decided that was too early (I don't mind 3/4am) so took her back in her room and shut the gate this time. Cue massive meltdown, clinging on to the gate, for over an hour... eventually my partner slept on her floor and she was fine.
If you ask her in the morning why she came in, she says she's scared of monsters. I know we shouldn't have let her do it to begin with and she's now understandably confused by the mixed messaging.. but does anyone have any tips? How do I get her to stop being scared of her room? She has a nightlight etc. Or do I just go with it and let her come in to our bed?
Oh bless her. Well if you’re ok with her coming in to your bed I would just put her to sleep like normal in her room and if she wakes up and won’t go back in try the sleep on the floor again and sneak out when she’s asleep? And last resort let her in your bed if you want to.
I think it’s normal to be scared when they wake up alone. Mine gets upset when he wakes up in my bed alone in the morning when I’m getting ready for work Downstairs.
 
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