Toddler advice thread #3

[smellsofbiscuits]

Yes definitely witching hour!! I have started doing their baths separately which has helped (more tiring for me) weekdays I can jusy about manage as its a short time but weekends my husband works and i’m left with both of them
On my own

they’re arent at the age where they can enjoy the same activites yet either, so if we go park/softplay they both want my attention for doing their separate things and then obviously they have tantrums cause i have to sort the other out

just have to keep reminding myself its a short period of life

Oh absolutely, it goes a bit off routine when Mr B works away or isn't around to help out. There are evenings that bath time for one kid (usually the toddler as I can wrestle them into an afternoon bath if particularly grimy). If he's not around then there's a mutual agreement that kids, cooking and basic house cleaning are the priorities. If he comes home and the house is a tip then tough. Should add that Mr B has much higher standards of tidying than I do. Which he's welcome to maintain when he's around

I do get a glimmer of hope with a friend who has slightly older children with a similar age gap. She's at the stage where both kids can head off together at soft play whilst she has a coffee. That's the dream!

 

[Jellybean093]

yeah I do pack a lot in! But she enjoys it and I’m off with her for 2 days during the week so I guess that’s why I do so much as it compensates for nursery it’s easier in summer though when we can just be out all day

Do you think you do too much with her, so she’s never bored , and once she is bored, she’s miserable? Mr B always over compensated with his eldest, to the point he couldn’t be bored and he was miserable and couldn’t even sit for 5 minutes because he was always being taken out and spoken to and played with. Yet, my kids don’t go out much and they all independently play

 

[al255]

Do you think you do too much with her, so she’s never bored , and once she is bored, she’s miserable? Mr B always over compensated with his eldest, to the point he couldn’t be bored and he was miserable and couldn’t even sit for 5 minutes because he was always being taken out and spoken to and played with. Yet, my kids don’t go out much and they all independently play

no, she can easily spend an afternoon at home if it’s raining with her cars , or playing puzzle games or Zingo. She just prefers to be outside, she would rather run around outside than be in watching tv or doing anything indoors. I’d rather be outside at the park than stuck inside. Saying that, she can easily sit and watch junk on YouTube for 2 hours She will happily sit and play with her cars if I’m making tea or washing my hair.

 

[Jellybean093]

no, she can easily spend an afternoon at home if it’s raining with her cars , or playing puzzle games or Zingo. She just prefers to be outside, she would rather run around outside than be in watching tv or doing anything indoors. I’d rather be outside at the park than stuck inside. Saying that, she can easily sit and watch junk on YouTube for 2 hours She will happily sit and play with her cars if I’m making tea or washing my hair.

Ah, we are the complete opposite. Well, I am. I love being at home. I hate the park, especially when I have all the kids off in different directions. Would rather go for a walk if I had to go out

 

[al255]

Ah, we are the complete opposite. Well, I am. I love being at home. I hate the park, especially when I have all the kids off in different directions. Would rather go for a walk if I had to go out

My friend is the same, her 5 year old has never been to a zoo, she hates being outside with her kids

 

[Neo2021]

My friend is the same, her 5 year old has never been to a zoo, she hates being outside with her kids

But that’s fine? Each to their own.

 

[al255]

But that’s fine? Each to their own.

yeah im not saying it like that sorry! , I meant it as she never takes her kid outside unless it’s to the shops 🫠

 

[Jellybean093]

My friend is the same, her 5 year old has never been to a zoo, she hates being outside with her kids

Oh, I don’t mind being outside. I hate the park. We have a theme park by us that we have passes for and use a lot. I prefer soft play than standing in a park. I always find them so cold, even on a boiling hot day. I don’t think I’ve ever actually taken mine to the zoo, apart from Chessington, but I don’t think you can call that a zoo
Anyway, I spend enough on rent and bills, that home is where you will find me

 

[Neo2021]

yeah im not saying it like that sorry! , I meant it as she never takes her kid outside unless it’s to the shops 🫠

But that’s also fine! There’s no shame! That’s her choice!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

yeah im not saying it like that sorry! , I meant it as she never takes her kid outside unless it’s to the shops 🫠

Yeah I don't.
Perhaps she has anxiety? I don't particularly leave the house often with my kids, unless there's another adult. I can do shops on my own solo but that's my limit.
I'd reach out, there could be an underlying issue.

 

[al255]

Oh, I don’t mind being outside. I hate the park. We have a theme park by us that we have passes for and use a lot. I prefer soft play than standing in a park. I always find them so cold, even on a boiling hot day. I don’t think I’ve ever actually taken mine to the zoo, apart from Chessington, but I don’t think you can call that a zoo
Anyway, I spend enough on rent and bills, that home is where you will find me

mini A isn’t a huge fan of soft play, I’ve took her to a few and she just wants to leave after an hour or so. She keeps asking to go back to CBeebies land, she’s obsessed with it. We did the £25 toddler and parent pass that’s only week days and non school hols and it’s such a good day out. We go CBeebies all day and carvery on the way home roll on spring & summer

 

[watermelon sugar]

 

[al255]

Yeah I don't.
Perhaps she has anxiety? I don't particularly leave the house often with my kids, unless there's another adult. I can do shops on my own solo but that's my limit.
I'd reach out, there could be an underlying issue.

She’s openly said she just cba she’s one of these mums who says she can’t afford a day out for her kid then gets her nails, brows done every month but moans she’s no money to take her child on a day out.. ‍

 

[Jellybean093]

She’s openly said she just cba she’s one of these mums who says she can’t afford a day out for her kid then gets her nails, brows done every month but moans she’s no money to take her child on a day out.. ‍

Oh, I’m definitely one of those CBA mums. Like, I love my kids, but I also don’t want to go out and chase after you and/or deal with bratty kids. I’m not good with confrontation. Even if it’s to tell a 3yo to stop pushing one of my kids
I don’t go to many places because I actually don’t like children (ex nursery nurse. There’s a reason!!) and my kids are just miserable. I think an hour at soft play is a good amount though. There’s only so much up and down a slide you can do!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

She’s openly said she just cba she’s one of these mums who says she can’t afford a day out for her kid then gets her nails, brows done every month but moans she’s no money to take her child on a day out.. ‍

Yeah I say I can't be arsed too. Easier than explaining I'm actually scared to leave the house .
I always use the excuse I'm skint. There's no shame in not taking your kids out tbh, you occupy them, they're unhappy, you don't they're unhappy. Toddlers are just arses.

 

[Jellybean093]

Yeah I say I can't be arsed too. Easier than explaining I'm actually scared to leave the house .
I always use the excuse I'm skint. There's no shame in not taking your kids out tbh, you occupy them, they're unhappy, you don't they're unhappy. Toddlers are just arses.

And then they fall asleep for a second in the car and that’s bedtime out the window

 

[al255]

Yeah I say I can't be arsed too. Easier than explaining I'm actually scared to leave the house .
I always use the excuse I'm skint. There's no shame in not taking your kids out tbh, you occupy them, they're unhappy, you don't they're unhappy. Toddlers are just arses.

that’s so true actually. Before Christmas I took mini A to a winter light trial 2 years in a row and all she did was moan both times and I thought I’m not doing it this year not paying money for her to moan for a 3rd year! Then if we don’t do anything Christmassy I feel guilty. I think I’m going to do Lapland UK this year though as it looks amazing and she will be nearly 4

 

[Jellybean093]

that’s so true actually. Before Christmas I took mini A to a winter light trial 2 years in a row and all she did was moan both times and I thought I’m not doing it this year not paying money for her to moan for a 3rd year! Then if we don’t do anything Christmassy I feel guilty. I think I’m going to do Lapland UK this year though as it looks amazing and she will be nearly 4

Have you not got a grotto in a garden centre or something? We went to a light thing when I was pregnant, so Xmas 2021, and I took my then 5yo and 2yo and they weren’t fussed, but we all love a grotto

 

[al255]

Have you not got a grotto in a garden centre or something? We went to a light thing when I was pregnant, so Xmas 2021, and I took my then 5yo and 2yo and they weren’t fussed, but we all love a grotto

so this year gone we did Chester Zoo lanters which was amazing, we did it in 2021 too and she loved it. We do Dunham Massey also which she’s hated,won’t be doing it again. I take her to the grotto in my local town as I refuse to pay £15 to queue up and then have to pay for a photo on top. We go to garden centres near us which are usually really festive. Lapland is going to cost probably £130-40 for us both then I’ve booked a hotel but that’s a really big treat for Xmas and it’s meant to just be so magical. I’d love to go to “proper” Lapland but that’s for when she’s older defo

 

[watermelon sugar]

Ahhh I’m too skint to do anything me