Toddler Advice Thread #2

[Definitelyme]

@CrimeJunkie a few of mine have been pretty annoyed about shoes as well. Not as upset as ToddlerCJ (neither ToddlerCrime nor ToddlerJunkie works well ) but certainly apprehensive and we’ve have a few refusing to move moments over the years.

What sort of shoes are they? My personal preference is for Clark’s pre walkers for their first shoes (even though they are walking!) as they are so soft and flexible. I would possibly try when you take her to the park as she’ll be more distracted than at home.

 

[CrimeJunkie]

@CrimeJunkie a few of mine have been pretty annoyed about shoes as well. Not as upset as ToddlerCJ (neither ToddlerCrime nor ToddlerJunkie works well ) but certainly apprehensive and we’ve have a few refusing to move moments over the years.

What sort of shoes are they? My personal preference is for Clark’s pre walkers for their first shoes (even though they are walking!) as they are so soft and flexible. I would possibly try when you take her to the park as she’ll be more distracted than at home.

Yesss I never know how to shorten her name but ToddlerCJ is perfect I originally tried Clark’s walker shoes, then some cheaper soft pram shoes just to get her used to having something on her feet. I’ll try the park or something where there’s more of a distraction, thank you!

 

[TreeBranch]

Can I jump in and ask a potentially daft question please?

My 18 month old daughter has chickenpox, spots have just come up today and she’s got a bit of a temperature. She is absolutely fine in herself, just a bit spotty and warm.

My parents have very kindly offered to look after her the three days this week that I am at work as she cannot attend nursery with chickenpox (and they love any excuse to look after her!). My question is, can they take her out?

I know it’s super contagious so I’m not thinking any classes/library sessions/play groups or even playgrounds, but would they be ok to take her to a park? Like a wide open outdoor space where they can easily avoid people and not touch anything? Or is that a big no-no still? They would be walking there or driving in their own car, not taking any public transport.

We obviously don’t want to risk putting anyone else in harm’s way, but are we putting people at risk in an outdoor space with nobody super close by? If it’s a bad idea, please do tell me, but if it would be okay, it would be great for my daughter because she has a LOT of energy and loves to charge around outside! But overall, we want to be as safe as possible, and we can absolutely sacrifice trips to the park for a few days if necessary.

Many thanks in advance for your input/views.

 

[Definitelyme]

Can I jump in and ask a potentially daft question please?

My 18 month old daughter has chickenpox, spots have just come up today and she’s got a bit of a temperature. She is absolutely fine in herself, just a bit spotty and warm.

My parents have very kindly offered to look after her the three days this week that I am at work as she cannot attend nursery with chickenpox (and they love any excuse to look after her!). My question is, can they take her out?

I know it’s super contagious so I’m not thinking any classes/library sessions/play groups or even playgrounds, but would they be ok to take her to a park? Like a wide open outdoor space where they can easily avoid people and not touch anything? Or is that a big no-no still? They would be walking there or driving in their own car, not taking any public transport.

We obviously don’t want to risk putting anyone else in harm’s way, but are we putting people at risk in an outdoor space with nobody super close by? If it’s a bad idea, please do tell me, but if it would be okay, it would be great for my daughter because she has a LOT of energy and loves to charge around outside! But overall, we want to be as safe as possible, and we can absolutely sacrifice trips to the park for a few days if necessary.

Many thanks in advance for your input/views.

I mean technically the answer is no, because if anything happened eg a car accident and she was then in and around other people, you don’t know who is vulnerable. Same way it was with Covid, if that makes sense?
Personally, I would probably do it anyway, all things considered.
Lovely that she will get some extra time with grandparents I hope she stays feeling well.

 

[Kim Mild]

Can I jump in and ask a potentially daft question please?

My 18 month old daughter has chickenpox, spots have just come up today and she’s got a bit of a temperature. She is absolutely fine in herself, just a bit spotty and warm.

My parents have very kindly offered to look after her the three days this week that I am at work as she cannot attend nursery with chickenpox (and they love any excuse to look after her!). My question is, can they take her out?

I know it’s super contagious so I’m not thinking any classes/library sessions/play groups or even playgrounds, but would they be ok to take her to a park? Like a wide open outdoor space where they can easily avoid people and not touch anything? Or is that a big no-no still? They would be walking there or driving in their own car, not taking any public transport.

We obviously don’t want to risk putting anyone else in harm’s way, but are we putting people at risk in an outdoor space with nobody super close by? If it’s a bad idea, please do tell me, but if it would be okay, it would be great for my daughter because she has a LOT of energy and loves to charge around outside! But overall, we want to be as safe as possible, and we can absolutely sacrifice trips to the park for a few days if necessary.

Many thanks in advance for your input/views.

I've seen parents doing the school run and bringing another child with them who has been off poorly with chickenpox.

It's only really covid that people were told the HAVE to stay at home for , everything else people used their own discretion.

Thinking back , I'm sure when my oldest had chickenpox, I still took them out for fresh air.

 

[al255]

Can I jump in and ask a potentially daft question please?

My 18 month old daughter has chickenpox, spots have just come up today and she’s got a bit of a temperature. She is absolutely fine in herself, just a bit spotty and warm.

My parents have very kindly offered to look after her the three days this week that I am at work as she cannot attend nursery with chickenpox (and they love any excuse to look after her!). My question is, can they take her out?

I know it’s super contagious so I’m not thinking any classes/library sessions/play groups or even playgrounds, but would they be ok to take her to a park? Like a wide open outdoor space where they can easily avoid people and not touch anything? Or is that a big no-no still? They would be walking there or driving in their own car, not taking any public transport.

We obviously don’t want to risk putting anyone else in harm’s way, but are we putting people at risk in an outdoor space with nobody super close by? If it’s a bad idea, please do tell me, but if it would be okay, it would be great for my daughter because she has a LOT of energy and loves to charge around outside! But overall, we want to be as safe as possible, and we can absolutely sacrifice trips to the park for a few days if necessary.

Many thanks in advance for your input/views.

i hope I don’t get jumped on BUT we’ve just been to Haven for the week (beginning of the month), and on the Friday my daugher had chickenpox. We went on the Monday - I thought if nothing else it’s a change of scenery and I didn’t wanna waste my annual leave / us to miss out.. we didn’t go to the arcade etc or inside anywhere it was all outside and we didn’t come into close contact with anyone at all until they’d scabbed over by the Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

I highly recommend head and shoulders, literally bath her in the stuff and leave it on her body until she’s about to get out the bath! It helped turn the blisters into scabs within 3 days for my daughter and we was able to enjoy it more from the Tuesday onwards. At the end of the day it’s just advised they stay inside.. my daughter would feel worse being cooped up in the house and good old fresh air you can’t beat it x

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

First time here and I just needed somewhere to talk/put this.

This morning my two year old bit me and I had a fight or flight response and lashed out at him, hitting his cheek. No mark was left, and I profusely apologised afterwards. He’s fine about it and we both have talked about it more and said we don’t hit or bite.

I feel absolutely awful about it. I’m totally against corporal punishment (even if I’ve been at breaking point before it would neverget that far). I just literally saw red and the place he bit (fleshy but in the side of my back) had me reaching straight back with a slapping hand, I’d have done it to anyone biting me there. It was instinctive, but I feel so much shame. I’ve been crying about it on and off since it happened.

I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest & see if anyone had similar stories to make me feel a bit more normal & not like the monster I current feel like.

 

[Definitelyme]

First time here and I just needed somewhere to talk/put this.

This morning my two year old bit me and I had a fight or flight response and lashed out at him, hitting his cheek. No mark was left, and I profusely apologised afterwards. He’s fine about it and we both have talked about it more and said we don’t hit or bite.

I feel absolutely awful about it. I’m totally against corporal punishment (even if I’ve been at breaking point before it would neverget that far). I just literally saw red and the place he bit (fleshy but in the side of my back) had me reaching straight back with a slapping hand, I’d have done it to anyone biting me there. It was instinctive, but I feel so much shame. I’ve been crying about it on and off since it happened.

I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest & see if anyone had similar stories to make me feel a bit more normal & not like the monster I current feel like.

That sounds like a really awful situation for you both. I do genuinely think that when someone hurts us out of the blue, we do sometimes react without thinking and lash out. I know certainly in the past when I’ve been breastfeeding and I’ve been bitten, my immediate response has been a squeal and a hand towards them - and yes, once or twice it has hit them as an instinct to get them off.
There is a HUGE difference between actively deciding to hit your child, and that automatic response to pain though. It all happens in a split second, and I don’t actually think you even could make the conscious decision to hit them in that space of time.
You feel awful because you’ve done something that you really never want to do. If you didn’t care, that would be the worrying part.
You will feel bad, certainly any time something similar has happened to me I have felt awful afterwards, tears definitely shed. But we are all human and, no matter what people say, I don’t think we can always control our reaction and response in a situation like that.

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

That sounds like a really awful situation for you both. I do genuinely think that when someone hurts us out of the blue, we do sometimes react without thinking and lash out. I know certainly in the past when I’ve been breastfeeding and I’ve been bitten, my immediate response has been a squeal and a hand towards them - and yes, once or twice it has hit them as an instinct to get them off.
There is a HUGE difference between actively deciding to hit your child, and that automatic response to pain though. It all happens in a split second, and I don’t actually think you even could make the conscious decision to hit them in that space of time.
You feel awful because you’ve done something that you really never want to do. If you didn’t care, that would be the worrying part.
You will feel bad, certainly any time something similar has happened to me I have felt awful afterwards, tears definitely shed. But we are all human and, no matter what people say, I don’t think we can always control our reaction and response in a situation like that.

Thank you, really appreciate that response. It was such a split second and instantly regretted reaction. Lizard brain on autopilot kind of thing.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

First time here and I just needed somewhere to talk/put this.

This morning my two year old bit me and I had a fight or flight response and lashed out at him, hitting his cheek. No mark was left, and I profusely apologised afterwards. He’s fine about it and we both have talked about it more and said we don’t hit or bite.

I feel absolutely awful about it. I’m totally against corporal punishment (even if I’ve been at breaking point before it would neverget that far). I just literally saw red and the place he bit (fleshy but in the side of my back) had me reaching straight back with a slapping hand, I’d have done it to anyone biting me there. It was instinctive, but I feel so much shame. I’ve been crying about it on and off since it happened.

I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest & see if anyone had similar stories to make me feel a bit more normal & not like the monster I current feel like.

Oh bless you. I can imagine you’re feeling terrible. It’s good you spoke about it. Do you know why he bit you. I’ve been bitten by my son before snd it bloody hurts.Try not to feel guilty about it as I’m sure he won’t remember by tomorrow it happened
Hope you’re ok

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

Oh bless you. I can imagine you’re feeling terrible. It’s good you spoke about it. Do you know why he bit you. I’ve been bitten by my son before snd it bloody hurts.Try not to feel guilty about it as I’m sure he won’t remember by tomorrow it happened
Hope you’re ok

He was showing off and hyper, basic toddler behaviour

 

[LunaCharles]

I'm so sorry to hijack this thread but I don't know where to turn. I've posted similar on Mumsnet but I'm just desperate for advice. My son is 10 months old (nearly 11) sorry I know this is a toddler thread but I'm thinking you guys here might have been through something similar with yours!

I am at my wit's end my nipples are severely damaged from my son's teeth. He has 4 and the top 2 constantly rubbing have caused open wounds on my areolas. Both sides. It's been like this for a few weeks now, I've done absolutely everything to improve latch etc, I'm feeding in different positions too but I'm in agony every time I feed no matter what position etc I try. Honestly I was getting to the point where I was done mentally with breastfeeding anyway, I had started to introduce a sippy cup with pumped milk in to try get him used to it ready for me going back to work..but now this pure agony is making me want to stop ASAP. Even when I'm not feeding my nipples are constantly hurting. My son feeds to sleep so I know this is going to be difficult. After a nap he will take 4oz at the very most out of a sippy cup and this takes a lot of encouragement and distraction to get him to do so. And then he still cries for boob after. Honestly I'm on the edge of a breakdown. I don't know how I can keep feeding with the pain I'm in. And I just don't want to. I know I need to do this slowly and gently for both of us but part of me just wants to book a hotel for the weekend, leave baby with dad and a fridge full of pumped milk and just leave them to it. I feel awful for saying it but honestly I feel on the edge of a breakdown.

Some one please tell me how you got your EBF baby off boob fairly quickly

Sorry for the essay, and I am booked to see a GP about my nipples tomorrow as the wounds are quite open and oozing. Help!!!!
My mental health feels in the gutter at the minute. I should also add he had 2 sippy cups of milk yesterday that replaced 2 feeds but he didn't even manage 4oz each time and then he ended up waking in the night 3 times when he hasn't done that for weeks
Sorry this is so long winded I just feel really desperate and don't know where to get support really.

 

[ChattyMammy]

I'm so sorry to hijack this thread but I don't know where to turn. I've posted similar on Mumsnet but I'm just desperate for advice. My son is 10 months old (nearly 11) sorry I know this is a toddler thread but I'm thinking you guys here might have been through something similar with yours!

I am at my wit's end my nipples are severely damaged from my son's teeth. He has 4 and the top 2 constantly rubbing have caused open wounds on my areolas. Both sides. It's been like this for a few weeks now, I've done absolutely everything to improve latch etc, I'm feeding in different positions too but I'm in agony every time I feed no matter what position etc I try. Honestly I was getting to the point where I was done mentally with breastfeeding anyway, I had started to introduce a sippy cup with pumped milk in to try get him used to it ready for me going back to work..but now this pure agony is making me want to stop ASAP. Even when I'm not feeding my nipples are constantly hurting. My son feeds to sleep so I know this is going to be difficult. After a nap he will take 4oz at the very most out of a sippy cup and this takes a lot of encouragement and distraction to get him to do so. And then he still cries for boob after. Honestly I'm on the edge of a breakdown. I don't know how I can keep feeding with the pain I'm in. And I just don't want to. I know I need to do this slowly and gently for both of us but part of me just wants to book a hotel for the weekend, leave baby with dad and a fridge full of pumped milk and just leave them to it. I feel awful for saying it but honestly I feel on the edge of a breakdown.

Some one please tell me how you got your EBF baby off boob fairly quickly

Sorry for the essay, and I am booked to see a GP about my nipples tomorrow as the wounds are quite open and oozing. Help!!!!
My mental health feels in the gutter at the minute. I should also add he had 2 sippy cups of milk yesterday that replaced 2 feeds but he didn't even manage 4oz each time and then he ended up waking in the night 3 times when he hasn't done that for weeks
Sorry this is so long winded I just feel really desperate and don't know where to get support really.

Sounds like a really tough time for you both is there any bf support in your area you could maybe contact? I don’t really have any advice as I was lucky my boy weaned really easily but I know a lot of babies really struggle, I hope the GP can help with your nipples I can only imagine it’s agony !

 

[Definitelyme]

I'm so sorry to hijack this thread but I don't know where to turn. I've posted similar on Mumsnet but I'm just desperate for advice. My son is 10 months old (nearly 11) sorry I know this is a toddler thread but I'm thinking you guys here might have been through something similar with yours!

I am at my wit's end my nipples are severely damaged from my son's teeth. He has 4 and the top 2 constantly rubbing have caused open wounds on my areolas. Both sides. It's been like this for a few weeks now, I've done absolutely everything to improve latch etc, I'm feeding in different positions too but I'm in agony every time I feed no matter what position etc I try. Honestly I was getting to the point where I was done mentally with breastfeeding anyway, I had started to introduce a sippy cup with pumped milk in to try get him used to it ready for me going back to work..but now this pure agony is making me want to stop ASAP. Even when I'm not feeding my nipples are constantly hurting. My son feeds to sleep so I know this is going to be difficult. After a nap he will take 4oz at the very most out of a sippy cup and this takes a lot of encouragement and distraction to get him to do so. And then he still cries for boob after. Honestly I'm on the edge of a breakdown. I don't know how I can keep feeding with the pain I'm in. And I just don't want to. I know I need to do this slowly and gently for both of us but part of me just wants to book a hotel for the weekend, leave baby with dad and a fridge full of pumped milk and just leave them to it. I feel awful for saying it but honestly I feel on the edge of a breakdown.

Some one please tell me how you got your EBF baby off boob fairly quickly

Sorry for the essay, and I am booked to see a GP about my nipples tomorrow as the wounds are quite open and oozing. Help!!!!
My mental health feels in the gutter at the minute. I should also add he had 2 sippy cups of milk yesterday that replaced 2 feeds but he didn't even manage 4oz each time and then he ended up waking in the night 3 times when he hasn't done that for weeks
Sorry this is so long winded I just feel really desperate and don't know where to get support really.

That sounds awful, really horrendous for you. Have you tried using silver cups to protect your nipples between feeds? They are like little metal fortresses, and keep your nipples safe from being rubbed and banged on. Expensive, but well worth it.
If you are still feeding for a short time, have you used nipple shields to protect your nipples?
I don’t think anyone can answer how to get a baby off the boob quickly, as it will be so different for each baby. If he uses the sucking for comfort have you tried a dummy or other comforter?
Don’t feel awful at all, as you’re going through a really horrible physical pain, but the emotions attached as well are so hard. Be kind to yourself, and remember you are doing all you can to help him x

 

[al255]

@LunaCharles i don’t have any advice as I only breastfed for 8 weekssorry! Hope you get it sorted it sounds awful.

Anyone been to CBeebies land? I’m going tomorrow with A and can’t wait! I’m hoping she will nap in the car on the way home, (however that’ll be late on like 3pm, and I REALLY don’t want bedtime to be late and I’ve got work Friday morning we have to be up early) but going to take her pram and snoozeshade just incase! I hate big days out having to think she will need a nap. She only has an hour so not a huge amount but she’s a disaster without it..

The only day she’s never napped she was an absolute nightmare for days after it, overtired and just couldn’t catch up. Hopefully it’ll be a lovely day out anyway

 

[watermelon sugar]

any boy mums here I need some advice please??

I am on the phone to the GP but been on hold since 8am and have been googling. Last night I was getting my little boy ready for bed when I noticed he had a small white spot on his willy? A bit towards the end. Just looked like a white head. It weren’t causing him any pain and he’s ok in himself, eating and weeing etc but just cos it is on his penis it worried me. I’ve been googling and a lot says about smegma pearls when the penis begins to retract? I was just wondering if anyones had anything similar to put my mind at rest whilst I wait for the doctors to answer the phone (if they ever do) thank you!

 

[WhatABore]

any boy mums here I need some advice please??

I am on the phone to the GP but been on hold since 8am and have been googling. Last night I was getting my little boy ready for bed when I noticed he had a small white spot on his willy? A bit towards the end. Just looked like a white head. It weren’t causing him any pain and he’s ok in himself, eating and weeing etc but just cos it is on his penis it worried me. I’ve been googling and a lot says about smegma pearls when the penis begins to retract? I was just wondering if anyones had anything similar to put my mind at rest whilst I wait for the doctors to answer the phone (if they ever do) thank you!

We had this exact thing when he was about 2
I had no idea what it was, so I contacted the doctors and they said it's basically what you've said.
Where the foreskin separates.
They went away after a week!

 

[watermelon sugar]

We had this exact thing when he was about 2
I had no idea what it was, so I contacted the doctors and they said it's basically what you've said.
Where the foreskin separates.
They went away after a week!

Oh good it must just be that then! It caught me off guard because it was on his Willy. I’m waiting for a call back from the doctors now

 

[WhatABore]

Oh good it must just be that then! It caught me off guard because it was on his Willy. I’m waiting for a call back from the doctors now

I had absolutely no idea what it was and didn't even know their foreskin separating was a thing tbh!
My partner had no idea either

 

[Magnolia4]

Not sure if this is the best thread for this question but you’re all so wise I’ll just give it a shot
Soo I have a (just turned) 2yo and will welcome her baby brother in hopefully the next 2/3 weeks. She basically still needs me or dad to lay next to her until she falls asleep - we’ve tried to do the *progressively slowly moving away* trick but lately she just screams and I’m also honestly too pregnant to put a lot of effort into it (plus the cuddles are the best )
Therefore: any tips to doing bedtime with toddler + baby once I’m alone with both? This would be the case already from mid September on, at least some good 4 times a week. I guess last case scenario if baby’s awake would be to bring him also into bed with us and feed him/hope he’s not to fussy and end up waking her up? Any tips are welcome