Tiffany Thinks #18

[OH.FFS]

IMO this video was a joke. Yeah she named her surgery and that's about it. She has some mental problems and should seek psychological help asap. It's always the same, when the subject is hard she's saying that she will explain something quickly (as here with PE, she started by saying that she has an ileostomy but she didn't say more) and then she drops the subject and starts to focus on some trivial stuff and she always repeats herself when she's nervous. She's so weird, not talking about having your organs removed won't make them come back. She didn't say anything of substance again.

But maybe she doesn’t want to share with anyone and sundry what she’s lost. It’s all very personal and private.
I don’t think I’d want to talk about the finer details if I’d had to go through what she’s been through.
I think she’s entitled to privacy. We, the viewers, cannot demand she tells all. It’s up to her to share what she’s comfortable with.
I’m not trying to be argumentative. But, I really find it unnerving that people expect her to tell them what they want. It’s her channel surely she can talk about and tell what she’s comfortable with.

 

[suzeq]

Yes agree … I too have been utterly disgusted by the escalation that occurred on the other thread. Hopefully it does put some perspective into just how mentally damaging social media can be for the viewer at the hands of the person (influencer) running the ‘show’ from YT.
Very alarming indeed … please look after yourself

I actually just unfollowed all the cancer "influencers" because of this recent drama. I have no further interest in someone who wants to shut people up, dictate what the internet can say, threaten people with a differing opinion, etc.

Yes, the hypocrisy of someone slagging and naming & shaming people. A person somehow loses any purported "moral high ground" when they themself excoriate and even threaten those whom they feel are sharing critical opinions.

If you are putting your whole journey and life along with it out there, then you should have expected that.

Exactly, it should be no secret that if you put your personal life, your struggles, and your efforts to gain monetarily from it on the internet for the world to see, no doubt people may have opinions about the choices you make, irrespective of their compassion for the raw deal you've been dealt. That's the trade off. It is the public's compassion that was drawn into the tragic soliloquy to begin with, that's what was being sought. We do care, I see it repeated here so often. We become invested in the story, very much like being engrossed in a documentary, we do know it's real and we care how it turns out. That's what the person sharing the worst time of their life with strangers wanted, the public's support.

But, it is more often than not a feeling of inequity that creates the criticisms on TL. At least that is what I've gathered as I read the same complaints echoed here more than once towards 'influencers' for the same behaviours.

Like hospital resources that are finite and will never meet the demand, goodwill also has the capacity to be drained for the next deserving person and we can never meet the real and desperate human need in our inequitable distribution of worldwide resources. When we see what we perceive as those taking advantage of the generosity of their viewers, we become more cynical and sceptical towards them which impacts the next person we see with a request for funds. It DOES affect charitable contributions: our compassion may persist, but our billfolds may be closed or empty to the next person seeking outreach. And yes, we may have a problem and express it here towards those we view as draining or altering that limited pool of kindness and funds. This isn't an autocratic system whereby the audience is silenced and forced to blindly accept the narrative that's been put forth. We didn't leave our critical thinking skills behind and mutate into gullible sheep. We do have a valuable voice, we can question and draw our own conclusions.

We aren't generally trolls on the internet looking to pile on with glee to the misfortunes of others. I would make an educated guess that most who follow the health struggles of others at all have a sincere empathy towards those who are vulnerable and who publish their health misfortunes online. Unfortunately, our sense of unfairness is triggered when adequate explanations are not given to assuage our scepticism or suspicions, or if our feedback is shut down elsewhere. Even someone who writes a work of nonfiction (or "quasi-nonfiction") opens themself up to the exact same level of critical discourse (have you seen the 300+ pages that Sparry & Megs have birthed here?! ). This is just what happens when someone shares their narrative with the public, especially if they seek to profit from it: their audience does not need to blindly accept it, but is also entitled to share their opinion about it too!

 

[Grow-a-Pear]

Aw, that’s devastating. I think I need to stop watching cancer stories on YouTube.

I started watching cancer videos because I was really interested in medical issues since part of me always wanted to be a doctor. I also watched surgeries online and dementia stories, etc. But like some doctors, especially surgeons, before I interacted with (watched) these YouTubers with cancer, I was thinking of them as medical stories. I wasn't thinking about them being real people, some of them great people and some not so much. When I really got involved in their stories, I got a little addicted to keeping up with them. Of them all, Tiffany was the worst because of all her psychological issues, which were both fascinating and disturbing.

I'm just saying the following in case it helps anyone, and not saying anyone else should be doing this. But what I've now done is unsubscribed to ALL of the vloggers with cancer (I think I followed 12). Last week, I moved them over to bookmarks in my browser. Once a week, on Sundays, I'll check on them and check in here. Or that's my intention. I am no longer looking at YouTube's front page or letting it suggest videos to me. I will decide what to look for and watch, not Google. So now, except Sundays, when I go to YouTube (I enter on my subscriptions page) I see happier or better-for-me videos. I just haven't felt good needing to check up on someone like Tiffany every day or two and posting about her when I really don't feel like she's worth that much of my life energy. I am also planning on not bookmarking any new "cancer influencers" - as they get better (or not) they should drop off my list. I'll still be around, but I want to spend more of this year focusing on me or people that are important to me, and Tiffany is not.

 

[Daisychain4]

But maybe she doesn’t want to share with anyone and sundry what she’s lost. It’s all very personal and private.
I don’t think I’d want to talk about the finer details if I’d had to go through what she’s been through.
I think she’s entitled to privacy. We, the viewers, cannot demand she tells all. It’s up to her to share what she’s comfortable with.
I’m not trying to be argumentative. But, I really find it unnerving that people expect her to tell them what they want. It’s her channel surely she can talk about and tell what she’s comfortable with.

Yes, you’re right regards it’s her channel to do as she likes, however… if you want your business kept private then drop the dramatic *cancer* clickbait’s and get on with it!

 

[ladyt7087]

She said something along the lines of “whatever happens the doctors tried their best” and “it’s now in gods hands”.

I get the feeling they haven’t been able to remove all of the cancer. Could be wrong and hope I’m wrong!

Exactly my thoughts and she probably knows this too. So, more chemo?

 

[Snow Fu]

Hello everyone. Happy New Year. On my channel (a tiny one) I have purposely chosen not to talk about my cancer journey because I simply can not commit to fully discussing it. Not to mention I’ve had so many family members die of cancer and I know I don’t have the luxury of expecting any amount of years. I had a person post they wanted me to make videos (cdrama lol) forever and even this innocent comment threw me off. None of us know for sure of course how much time we have. I admire people who do post about their journey, it’s just something I can’t do. I don’t think I ever will. :/

 

[PuzzlesAndWine]

I agree and I think people should probably watch the entire video and then make their conclusions. It left me sad. I was sort of hoping there would be a bit of hope or mention of family visiting etc. She is really fighting depression and I guess that would happen to most of us given this situation.

Ahhh, so I did.(rolling my eyes at myself, not you). I'm going to be really reserved here. I feel for her and her situation. I hope she continues to get well and recover. I am going by ALLLL of the history I have of watching her videos for over a year and my interpretation of them. I don't think much has changed. And nope, one can't expect to please or win over everyone all of the time, I'm not saying she has to, she should do her, not try to appeal to me or anyone else that has any opinion that doesn't include a blue heart.
As for the video, I wonder what was meant by reports or results aren't back yet? Is this video very old that it would be talking about surgery pathology or does that take that long to get back? It did sound a bit grim in the end, but then who knows. I sure don't.

 

[ladyt7087]

To me, she looked very troubled and sad. The comments about "let's see what happens" were very telling. I think her surgeon has told her they couldn't get all the cancer and/or it's likely to have spread, tho may not yet be detectable. She also said they did the best they could. It all points to a dicey prognosis, IMO. I note she wasn't joyously proclaiming to be cancer free. With the cancer cells found throughout her large colon, that is not good. She had that removed as well as uterus and vagina, if it was a PE, as she stated. Only bladder was spared.

Ahhh, so I did.(rolling my eyes at myself, not you). I'm going to be really reserved here. I feel for her and her situation. I hope she continues to get well and recover. I am going by ALLLL of the history I have of watching her videos for over a year and my interpretation of them. I don't think much has changed. And nope, one can't expect to please or win over everyone all of the time, I'm not saying she has to, she should do her, not try to appeal to me or anyone else that has any opinion that doesn't include a blue heart.
As for the video, I wonder what was meant by reports or results aren't back yet? Is this video very old that it would be talking about surgery pathology or does that take that long to get back? It did sound a bit grim in the end, but then who knows. I sure don't.

She stated they did their best, leading me to believe the surgeons told her they couldn't get all of the cancer. She also said it's in god's hands. Doesn't sound good. She seemed almost resigned to her fate.

i think she went longer today than expected and she seemed to gain strength from knowing her TT YT is back on schedule. She is addicted but at this point with so few diversions available to her maybe it is the lifeline that she needs. She did mention she/
Amma and Matt reading the cards that come to the PO box and that it means so much to her. Maybe YT is her therapy now. I got the impression that family has not been able to visit yet. No idea when today was recorded. She did mention some "results" from I assume pathology which I assume is not whether it is cancer but more info on the make up of her cancer cells to tell them whether to go next. Not an expert here but with entire colon gone that must have touched many organs in the body...wonder if other organs that perhaps could not be removed have cancer. I sure did not get a good vibe from her on the prognosis which I assume was becoming more clear in the days/weeks after the surgery. She did not even call in Amma or Matt for the usual hello. No it was a very different Tiffany I saw today.


we don't know when this was filmed and clearly this is a woman who has not been given a good prognosis. I think the only thing any further pathology reports would indicate is type of cells to sort out further treatment. She has been given a very clear idea of what they found and what the future holds. Based on her video today I don't think it is great.

Your take was mine too. I think cancer is still there but can't be removed. Her comment that they did their best was very revealing.

I really do wonder what the result would have been had she chosen surgery in August? I guess we'll never know. But the watch and wait was not a good choice, IMO. Especially with no treatment from then til mid December!

 

[Turaj]

To me, she looked very troubled and sad. The comments about "let's see what happens" were very telling. I think her surgeon has told her they couldn't get all the cancer and/or it's likely to have spread, tho may not yet be detectable. She also said they did the best they could. It all points to a dicey prognosis, IMO. I note she wasn't joyously proclaiming to be cancer free. With the cancer cells found throughout her large colon, that is not good. She had that removed as well as uterus and vagina, if it was a PE, as she stated. Only bladder was spared.


She stated they did their best, leading me to believe the surgeons told her they couldn't get all of the cancer. She also said it's in god's hands. Doesn't sound good. She seemed almost resigned to her fate.


Your take was mine too. I think cancer is still there but can't be removed. Her comment that they did their best was very revealing.

Yep she could not really muster up much positive spin on the results as they were told to her and her family. This has to be a very tough time. I understand not wanting to share much with anyone in the beginning although my anyone was only friends and extended family. My results were good but I still have not told many...just want to move on. Not sure what moving on means for TT. I guess we all see this differently.

 

[ladyt7087]

I'll never understand her insatiable need to vlog. She talked of how much she missed it. But she's essentially talking into a camera lens to an audience of total strangers. And that's more comforting to her than engaging with family and friends??? I don't get it at all.

 

[Turaj]

To me, she looked very troubled and sad. The comments about "let's see what happens" were very telling. I think her surgeon has told her they couldn't get all the cancer and/or it's likely to have spread, tho may not yet be detectable. She also said they did the best they could. It all points to a dicey prognosis, IMO. I note she wasn't joyously proclaiming to be cancer free. With the cancer cells found throughout her large colon, that is not good. She had that removed as well as uterus and vagina, if it was a PE, as she stated. Only bladder was spared.


She stated they did their best, leading me to believe the surgeons told her they couldn't get all of the cancer. She also said it's in god's hands. Doesn't sound good. She seemed almost resigned to her fate.


Your take was mine too. I think cancer is still there but can't be removed. Her comment that they did their best was very revealing.

I really do wonder what the result would have been had she chosen surgery in August? I guess we'll never know. But the watch and wait was not a good choice, IMO. Especially with no treatment from then til mid December!

Of course all speculation in terms of results back in August vs Dec. but one thing is for sure W and W did NOT help or avoid surgery.

 

[Saydee]

Clearly she is still happy with her team and feels that the lead surgeon kept his word to treat her as family. Have some in the family questioned him as to the W and W protocol and how it impacted the end results here...I bet they have. I think there is one cousin that is in medical field and I think Elodie may be quite verbal too. That is something that has to have come up. It seems that scans etc. right before surgery told them it was throughout the entire colon so not sure what the point was of all the painful biopsies? Did that just serve to spread the cells. We really don't know what all she was told in advance...she was and clearly is still holding out for a miracle. She said that more or less today.

Do you watch a different channel to what everyone else does?
Elodie is verbal? The same elodie that went to one appointment and said it’s complex?
You have repeat that t has no hope? Did t state that? Post op appointments are usually 6 weeks. She needs to heal before future plans are discussed.
where do you get your info that Tiffany sought out this surgeon herself? T herself said St George’s referred her? A few times you have said t looked him up

 

[LeonorG]

I'll never understand her insatiable need to vlog. She talked of how much she missed it. But she's essentially talking into a camera lens to an audience of total strangers. And that's more comforting to her than engaging with family and friends??? I don't get it at all.

That's cause she likes the adoration and praise she gets from her youtube family. I think it's all based in attention-craving and the money she gets out of it. It's all an ego boost for her. If noone was watching and subscribing and commenting she would not post much, maybe once per year like before the cancer.

 

[Saydee]

I agree.. I was actually surprised with how well she looked. I’m not surprised her video is almost 17 minutes.. repeating the same things over.
-she can’t edit because she can’t sit for long so she’ll post clips from the hospital.
-she talks about editing and posting videos for her tiffany thinks family.
-she hasn’t talked to family or friends as she’s been a low moods
-she mentions a few times how she misses her Tiffany thinks family
-she again mentions she should have turned the camera on sooner and provided an update.. but she cries if she does so. Mentioning a few times she wasn’t ready.. seems like she knew about the criticism she was getting so she’s maybe? defending herself that she couldn’t do videos because of her crying.. feel bad for her.. you can tell reality is hitting her.

These points she mentioned a few times throughout it the video… sigh.

does anyone know if her medical team gave her the next steps to take after surgery? Or the results of the surgery? Or is it still too early to tell?


Sheesh.. Tiffany really has a hold on her followers.


edit; whoops sorry! I continued watching. She said now they wait for results.

Her case will be discussed at the MDT. Her surgeons done his part so it will be upto medical oncology to decide the next steps

 

[SueB]

She maybe has nerve damage affecting the bladder? Or post op issues with retention? Might be having to self catheterise..

That is absolutely the risk. I didn't have a problem after my total colectomy but I did after my hysterectomy . It took weeks to get the catheter out for good- I had 7 trips ( on bus,train and tube ) back to London, they would remove it, I would be unable to completely empty my bladder and another catheter would go in. Almost 7 weeks before I could actually empty my bladder fully but I still have no feeling at the top of my thighs/groin area 7 years later.
You are told of this risk pre-surgery and I'm guessing her risk was higher than mine.

Saying her colon was full of cancer on scan as well ..why on earth did this 'brilliant' surgeon 'watch and wait'? Wasn't it more like 3.5 months delay in the end?!

Hopefully she is on a recovery trajectory now. I don't envy her this period at all and I am concerned regarding spread via the lymph nodes . My cervical cancer was supposedly in one tiny area of my cervix, but they found cancer cells in one lymph node in my groin.

 

[Saydee]

i think she went longer today than expected and she seemed to gain strength from knowing her TT YT is back on schedule. She is addicted but at this point with so few diversions available to her maybe it is the lifeline that she needs. She did mention she/
Amma and Matt reading the cards that come to the PO box and that it means so much to her. Maybe YT is her therapy now. I got the impression that family has not been able to visit yet. No idea when today was recorded. She did mention some "results" from I assume pathology which I assume is not whether it is cancer but more info on the make up of her cancer cells to tell them whether to go next. Not an expert here but with entire colon gone that must have touched many organs in the body...wonder if other organs that perhaps could not be removed have cancer. I sure did not get a good vibe from her on the prognosis which I assume was becoming more clear in the days/weeks after the surgery. She did not even call in Amma or Matt for the usual hello. No it was a very different Tiffany I saw today.


we don't know when this was filmed and clearly this is a woman who has not been given a good prognosis. I think the only thing any further pathology reports would indicate is type of cells to sort out further treatment. She has been given a very clear idea of what they found and what the future holds. Based on her video today I don't think it is great.

Clearly this is a woman that’s not been given a good prognosis? I thought Tiffany didn’t see discuss prognosis?

That is absolutely the risk. I didn't have a problem after my total colectomy but I did after my hysterectomy . It took weeks to get the catheter out for good- I had 7 trips ( on bus,train and tube ) back to London, they would remove it, I would be unable to completely empty my bladder and another catheter would go in. Almost 7 weeks before I could actually empty my bladder fully but I still have no feeling at the top of my thighs/groin area 7 years later.
You are told of this risk pre-surgery and I'm guessing her risk was higher than mine.

Saying her colin was full of cancer in scan as well ..why on earth did this 'brilliant' surgeon 'watch and wait'?

Hopefully she is on a recovery trajectory now. I don't envy her this period at all and I am concerned regarding spread via the lymph nodes . My cervical cancer was supposedly in one tiny area of my cervix, but they found cancer cells in one lymph node in my groun.

Sue, was that lymph removed during surgery? Did you have any post operative treatment? Hope you don’t mind me asking.

Aw, that’s devastating. I think I need to stop watching cancer stories on YouTube. Because yes, although Tiffany has frustrated me and I’ve called her out plenty of times, she’s still a human being and we don’t know her life and experiences that made her the way she is. It’s a very sad situation. And if what you said is true, and if posting on YouTube again three times a week makes her a bit happy, then so be it. I can’t imagine having a boyfriend, family she loves, friends and a niece and nephew, while being young to go through such a major life change and possibly not given good news. It’s heartbreaking.

Unless Tiffany outright says any of this, I would take what you read on here with a pinch of salt.

 

[LeonorG]

That is absolutely the risk. I didn't have a problem after my total colectomy but I did after my hysterectomy . It took weeks to get the catheter out for good- I had 7 trips ( on bus,train and tube ) back to London, they would remove it, I would be unable to completely empty my bladder and another catheter would go in. Almost 7 weeks before I could actually empty my bladder fully but I still have no feeling at the top of my thighs/groin area 7 years later.
You are told of this risk pre-surgery and I'm guessing her risk was higher than mine.

Saying her colon was full of cancer on scan as well ..why on earth did this 'brilliant' surgeon 'watch and wait'?

Hopefully she is on a recovery trajectory now. I don't envy her this period at all and I am concerned regarding spread via the lymph nodes . My cervical cancer was supposedly in one tiny area of my cervix, but they found cancer cells in one lymph node in my groin.

Yes the spread to the colon took place during the long watch and wait period. I still don't get the watch and wait and how her scans and biopsies showed 'no cancer cells' back in August.

 

[Karolina1985]

But maybe she doesn’t want to share with anyone and sundry what she’s lost. It’s all very personal and private.
I don’t think I’d want to talk about the finer details if I’d had to go through what she’s been through.
I think she’s entitled to privacy. We, the viewers, cannot demand she tells all. It’s up to her to share what she’s comfortable with.
I’m not trying to be argumentative. But, I really find it unnerving that people expect her to tell them what they want. It’s her channel surely she can talk about and tell what she’s comfortable with.

Of course, I understand your point of view. But if this is the case please change the title of the video, because it wasn't about "my cancer surgery", it was about "my youtube posting schedule". She's always alluding in her titles and even in the video itself that she will spill the tea, but she never does.

 

[Turaj]

That is absolutely the risk. I didn't have a problem after my total colectomy but I did after my hysterectomy . It took weeks to get the catheter out for good- I had 7 trips ( on bus,train and tube ) back to London, they would remove it, I would be unable to completely empty my bladder and another catheter would go in. Almost 7 weeks before I could actually empty my bladder fully but I still have no feeling at the top of my thighs/groin area 7 years later.
You are told of this risk pre-surgery and I'm guessing her risk was higher than mine.

Saying her colon was full of cancer on scan as well ..why on earth did this 'brilliant' surgeon 'watch and wait'?

Hopefully she is on a recovery trajectory now. I don't envy her this period at all and I am concerned regarding spread via the lymph nodes . My cervical cancer was supposedly in one tiny area of my cervix, but they found cancer cells in one lymph node in my groin.

I wonder too....'colon full of cancer on scan" but could not see anything before and went with W and W. Something off...maybe the W and W was not really recommended at all and it was per her insistence that they take this approach as Tiffany hoped for a miracle? We will never know.

Of course, I understand your point of view. But if this is the case please change the title of the video, because it wasn't about "my cancer surgery", it was about "my youtube posting schedule". She's always alluding in her titles and even in the video itself that she will spill the tea, but she never does.

Well she did talk about the cancer surgery...maybe not the details you wanted but it was clearly named and stated the extent of the spread in the colon. From what she said I think all surgeons were called on and it was as extensive as the worst scenario presented to her in advance with the exception of retention of the bladder. At first I was concerned that nothing was going to be said so I heard more than I expected. I bet Amma and Matt are really going thru the hell too.

 

[SueB]

I just looked back at the dates and yes, from the w&w video to the 12th when I think she had surgery is about 14 weeks. Imagine what may have happened in that time
I've been convinced all this time that her surgeon knew he was going off sick and either couldn't or didn't want to hand her over to another surgeon- maybe noone else there was able or willing to do this surgery?

Hence the so-called watch and wait. I'm not impressed!