My mum was & still is obsessed with cleaning, every Saturday afternoon was set aside for cleaning, couldn’t use the toilet all day till tea time, my bedroom was immaculate wasn’t allowed anything on the floor or posters on my wall, it was basically a show home, she reminds me of Hyacinth Bucket, when I had my kids I was on edge all the time because in case they made a mess & if they did she would start huffing & puffing, I hardly ever went round. There was zero love in the house, when my nana died I was gutted because her house was tidy but lived in & could do what I wanted. Plus she showed me affection my parents never did. My dad just goes along with my mum to keep the peace in his words.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
My mum is the same. She never put the effort in when I was little and wonders why now we are not close and I don't want to see her. She has a terrible temper and can go off on one shouting / slamming doors / being physically aggressive over the littlest things. She can't control it either and she's not allowed in my dad's house because she once went over there and started slamming doors when she got agitated. i'm not a doctor but I think she has MH issues. Well I know she has as she was diagnosed as a manic depressive (I think that's bipolar now but I have no idea). She's switch from rage to crying so quickly. One time she pushed me over because I interrupted her phone conversation and I hurt myself quite badly and she started crying saying she was a bad mum.
I didn't inherit her temper, I think I went the other way. I barely express any emotion that isn't "positive" because I hate causing an atmosphere. Even when something is really upsetting me I'd rather just keep quiet and pretend everything is okay instead of having an argument.
The ‘When are you going to settle down.. We want you to be happy’ comments. I want to be happy too but they know I’ve been heartbroken this year 🥹
Annoying little things like making something about them. It can be something simple like me saying “oh I didn’t sleep the best last night” and it’ll be all “oh I’m the same, I was awake at 3am and 4am and 5am”
It’s not a bloody competition!
It’s not a bloody competition!
Last edited:
Both my mum and Nan are like this. You can’t say there’s anything wrong with you because both of them have had the same issue but 100 times worse.
mine is like this too. Or she’ll use it to manipulate me. If I say I’m upset about something, she uses it as a moment to tell me how much of a good mother she is. Drives me nuts
Mine also don’t want us to feel upset about anything. It’s always ‘Forget about it/You’ll be fine..’. It sounds like such a small thing but it’s annoying.
I can’t just magic my problems away.
I can’t just magic my problems away.
Excessive cleaning. Your plate would be taken away, washed up and put away before you'd even finished eating. House would be spotless and wouldn't be allowed anything downstairs.
One vivid memory is when I was about 6, (I was also scared of the dark for reference). I'd had a tantrum about something, what 6 year old doesn't, and they picked me up and threw me outside the front. It was pitch black and the middle of winter. I was hysterically screaming and crying, knocking on the door begging to be let back in.
We had a long winding driveway which had tall bushes either side. The wind and the fact I was scared and hysterical and 6! I was sure I could see someone in the bushes. It was terrifying. I was left out there for about an hour then dragged in and sent to bed.
I'm still scared of the dark and I'm 32, I can't sit in the kitchen alone with the lights on and it dark outside as we don't have blinds on the back doors, I always think someone is going to be there. I won't take stuff to the dustbin or get anything from the car if it's dark and I definitely won't answer the door in the dark!
I've spoken to them about it before and they just try and laugh it off.
I could never be that horrible to my children. I'm sure because of how strict my parents were, I am overly soft on my own children!
One vivid memory is when I was about 6, (I was also scared of the dark for reference). I'd had a tantrum about something, what 6 year old doesn't, and they picked me up and threw me outside the front. It was pitch black and the middle of winter. I was hysterically screaming and crying, knocking on the door begging to be let back in.
We had a long winding driveway which had tall bushes either side. The wind and the fact I was scared and hysterical and 6! I was sure I could see someone in the bushes. It was terrifying. I was left out there for about an hour then dragged in and sent to bed.
I'm still scared of the dark and I'm 32, I can't sit in the kitchen alone with the lights on and it dark outside as we don't have blinds on the back doors, I always think someone is going to be there. I won't take stuff to the dustbin or get anything from the car if it's dark and I definitely won't answer the door in the dark!
I've spoken to them about it before and they just try and laugh it off.
I could never be that horrible to my children. I'm sure because of how strict my parents were, I am overly soft on my own children!
My parents were just lovely. I have no complaints apart from the fact that I tended to suffer with car-sickness, and they, both smokers, would light up in the car on our Sunday drives, with typically all the windows shut. It really made me feel extra nauseous. When I complained, I was told to stop being so crabid!
The not sleeping is a usual claim. I had to go to the mother in laws flat to do a job for her. She was asleep, I used a hammer drill and she didn't wake up. Later claimed she wasn't even asleep, she never sleeps.
The smoking in the car was the same with me. Couldn't enjoy where ever we went as I'd be sick on the way there and back in the smoke filled car. They put a bucket in the back for me.
The smoking in the car was the same with me. Couldn't enjoy where ever we went as I'd be sick on the way there and back in the smoke filled car. They put a bucket in the back for me.
My dad can never be wrong and he always talks with his mouth full no matter how many times he’s told 
My mum is such a martyr. Moans how much she does indoors but when I go there to help, (I’ve been moved out a few years) I get moaned at.
They are both getting so miserable as well. Sometimes I dread seeing them which I feel awful admitting
ETA: they aren’t bad parents. They would do anything for me, my brother and my partner. Just getting old and cantankerous I think
My mum is such a martyr. Moans how much she does indoors but when I go there to help, (I’ve been moved out a few years) I get moaned at.
They are both getting so miserable as well. Sometimes I dread seeing them which I feel awful admitting
ETA: they aren’t bad parents. They would do anything for me, my brother and my partner. Just getting old and cantankerous I think
well this is probably more of a word dump rather than anything coherent, and I’m not really sure how to describe it - I guess maybe narcissism? I don’t know as the word is thrown around so much these days, but my mum somehow manages to make everything about her. At 17 I was r9ped, my parents have no idea, and this year I had a cancer scare, again my parents have no idea, as it would alllll be about her. It’s a tit way to live and I’m jealous of these people who are close with their parents, as it could never be me.
she’s also obsessed with calling people fat/ugly/old looking when she’s literally 60 years old herself?
as someone said in a post earlier in the thread, why can’t parents just grow up? I feel like our generation of parents will hopefully be better as people tend to actually address their issues these days
she’s also obsessed with calling people fat/ugly/old looking when she’s literally 60 years old herself?
as someone said in a post earlier in the thread, why can’t parents just grow up? I feel like our generation of parents will hopefully be better as people tend to actually address their issues these days
Mine were not able to parent. At the ages of 0-2, my mum would lock me in the house alone while she went shopping. When I was 3, my mum would nap on the sofa and leave me to my own devices. Luckily I was a docile child who didn’t do anything drastic.
When I was seven, my parents left me in charge of my siblings while they went to a neighbours party
. I had instructions to phone if one of them cried but anything could have happened.
My mum worked weekends so we would be left to our own devices while my dad did nothing but lie on the sofa watching TV.
Even now, if there’s a problem, they don’t like to be bothered (they can’t cope with it). I now have problems asking for help and very independent. What’s even sadder is, I’m now my brother’s go to whenever he needs help instead of my mum and dad.
When I was seven, my parents left me in charge of my siblings while they went to a neighbours party
. I had instructions to phone if one of them cried but anything could have happened.My mum worked weekends so we would be left to our own devices while my dad did nothing but lie on the sofa watching TV.
Even now, if there’s a problem, they don’t like to be bothered (they can’t cope with it). I now have problems asking for help and very independent. What’s even sadder is, I’m now my brother’s go to whenever he needs help instead of my mum and dad.
My mum is always late. Like 2ish hours later. It doesbt matter what the occasion, even for special occasions. I asked her to come to see my wedding venue with my wedding co-ordinator. She was so late and its usually because she doesnt leave on time/faffs around doing other things. It upsets my kids when they wait for her. It screams ‘its not important to me.’ We all tip toe around and dont say anything so nothing changes. I think I need to get braver and call her out on it.
My parents are also late to things because they faff about. Two incidents stand out:
1. We were going to see my gran one day and my mum was busy hoovering (it didn’t need to be done) and my dad was sorting the dog out. I got so fed up of waiting for them so I grabbed my bag and went to sit in the car. My mum sent my brother out to tell me to get out of the car.
2. A few years ago, they offered me one of their old chairs and offered to drop it off one Sunday morning and drive me over to my brother’s for dinner as they were giving him the other chair. They told me around 12pm but they didn’t actually get to mine (30 minute drive) until 4pm.
1. We were going to see my gran one day and my mum was busy hoovering (it didn’t need to be done) and my dad was sorting the dog out. I got so fed up of waiting for them so I grabbed my bag and went to sit in the car. My mum sent my brother out to tell me to get out of the car.
2. A few years ago, they offered me one of their old chairs and offered to drop it off one Sunday morning and drive me over to my brother’s for dinner as they were giving him the other chair. They told me around 12pm but they didn’t actually get to mine (30 minute drive) until 4pm.
Same with the lateness. The amount of times I stood in the cold waiting for her as a kid. It was always embarrassing being the last one left places cause my mum couldn’t be arsed to pick me up on time
Can't remember if I have posted this before but not being direct. As I've grown up I don't beat around the bush, I will say what I am thinking/is bothering me. Being indirect seems to run in my family and it drives me nuts. My parents have only visited me a couple of times in the country I have lived in for a decade and I know it's because my mom doesn't like it but she won't say why. When I ask why she doesn't like it, she says she does but I know that isn't true. She always hints at me going home to visit which just isn't fair. I don't live in a tit hole country btw, it's Canada 
.
.
If I told my mum I hated a certain food. She would then cook that food ALL THE TIME, then try gaslighting me into thinking I told her it was my favourite food ever.
honestly could throat punch people when they offer me corn beef hash
Also if we said we liked something, you would hardly ever get it.
honestly could throat punch people when they offer me corn beef hash
Also if we said we liked something, you would hardly ever get it.
My dad drank too much when I was young, we never saw him because he was always at the pub. Thankfully, he was generally a happy drunk but occasionally he'd come home angry and then he'd needle my mum for hours, just ranting about shite. When I was about 11, I started coming downstairs and have a go at him for it. I really hated him it for it and being a child, I couldn't see his good points at all so it ruined my relationship with him until I was about 16.
Both my parents ignored the fact that my brother was an out of control, nasty bully and delinquent. He used to hit me and bully me mercilessly. I feel like I was a victim of domestic violence and my parents ignored it. They didn't ignore it but they never stopped it. I believe my brother has anti social personality disorder so I don't know how they could have dealt with it. People ignored things like that back then, they would never have known he was ill and wouldn't have been able to deal with it even if they had known. My brother has since been diagnosed with a mental illness but won't say which one, so I think I'm right in thinking it's ASPD. I just wish they had protected me from it.
In spite of that, I adore my parents now. My relationship with my dad, until he died, got so much better as time went on and now I don't rely on my mum to protect me, I think she's lovely and that she did her best. Of course, she denies that her best wasn't good enough but I know she doesn't really think that, she knows she made mistakes and I suffered because of it.
Both my parents ignored the fact that my brother was an out of control, nasty bully and delinquent. He used to hit me and bully me mercilessly. I feel like I was a victim of domestic violence and my parents ignored it. They didn't ignore it but they never stopped it. I believe my brother has anti social personality disorder so I don't know how they could have dealt with it. People ignored things like that back then, they would never have known he was ill and wouldn't have been able to deal with it even if they had known. My brother has since been diagnosed with a mental illness but won't say which one, so I think I'm right in thinking it's ASPD. I just wish they had protected me from it.
In spite of that, I adore my parents now. My relationship with my dad, until he died, got so much better as time went on and now I don't rely on my mum to protect me, I think she's lovely and that she did her best. Of course, she denies that her best wasn't good enough but I know she doesn't really think that, she knows she made mistakes and I suffered because of it.
this is really sinister and at the very least neglectful. i'm really sorry you and your 6 old self experienced that. that's bleeping awful. this hurt my heart imagining this. no wonder you're still scared of the dark! not only is it creepy as duck but you've got that traumatic memory on top now (the body never forgets!)
i think smoking in the car is absolutley rancid
same! and then i'll feel guilty and walk on eggshells because she can't put her ego aside to accept help that she actually really wants and needs
i'm so so so sorry
Last edited: