I totally agree with everything you've said. She just couldn't get behind a cause because she was monarch from such a young age plus I feel like back then the cause-based work wasn't what they did? It was meeting the public and opening hospitals.In her excuse- she did ascend the throne when the expectations were different. Who knows what she would have done hadn’t she become Queen for another 20 years. If you look at HoS it is actually pretty rare they pick a specific cause while in office. Because their role has a much broader expectation. It’s the spouse that picks specific causes if at all.
She might not have pursued a role like Charles even given the chance. She might have led the more carefree life of a rich aristocrat wife as long as possible. Or she might have gotten involved with something. I doubt it because I think she consciously molded herself for her future and probably didn’t see the need.
Complete speculation/interprovincial on my part: I do wonder though, if she felt as a woman, she had take on a certain behaviour to succeed. More private, less emotional- we all know that women are quickly discarded as hysteric. Same for her relationship with the children. Especially in the beginning she might have felt she had to prove she is as capable as a man and shouldn’t give up responsibilities because she is also a mother. So acting like one of the guys and simultaneously act acceptable for a women. Women still fight those prejudices today and we have come so far. Just imagine how it must have been then. So modelling herself after her father and her female predecessors was a save way. She managed to fill the position with minimal sexism and still behaved inside the role expectations of her time. To me, that must have been hard to keep up the balance.
I also strongly do believe that she had to behave in a certain way being a woman in power surrounded by men, especially at that time. She would have known that she wouldn't be taken seriously if she was seen to be emotional etc. She had to put on an act and I totally think that impacted how she mothered her children. Again, as much as she may have wanted to be the mum that hugged her kids and read their bedtime stories, she would never have been taken seriously by the men around her if she insisted on putting her children first, in fact even today it would be an uphill fight (wrongly)
I think those close to her and the children themselves would perhaps suggest she mothered Charles and Anne totally differently to Edward and Andrew, in fact I've always thought that's why she had 2 more children. She never really got the chance to be the mother she wanted to be to C&A but had perhaps found her confidence with those around her to stand her ground and be a mother too by the time she had Edward and Andrew.