If it helps at all, women tend to show less hyperactivity than males. It tends to be more of the attention deficit side.
I unfortunately don't have much in the way of advice as it really is personal and what works for you.
The things that help me personally:
I hate to sound like an absolute
twit but I do find healthy eating and exercise really helps. I really hate to
bleeping say it cause it's so
bleeping annoying but I personally find that exercising (first thing in the morning for me but any time is good!) helps (HIIT or swimming). It gets my energy out and I find I can focus a lot more and experience less sensory overload. I appreciate that isn't do-able for everyone though although even just a quick stretch, a quick dance around, some star jumps helps.
I use phone reminders constantly. As I type this my phone has just binged to tell me to get the washing in. If a notebook is more suited to you, use that (I do like that too but I have to rememeber to read it which I won't).
I find abandoning all sense of 'should' helps and I just do/buy whatever it is to make my life easier (I call it neurodivergent tax lol). I think it's really easy to get bogged down by what she should be able to do/remember but there's not shame in making life easier. So things like:
- A slow cooker - absolute life saver
- Buying pre-cut veg or bulk frozen veg- yes it's more expensive but it makes life easier when I can chuck it in the slow cooker or pan.
- I have a whiteboard on my fridge to write stuff on like to do lists, what I've run out of, appointment dates
- I also have a calendar next to it on the fridge (magnet) so that I can see the month ahead, helps to remember important dates and it means I can go 'oh it's mother's day the end of march, let me write on my whiteboard that I need to buy cards'
- Writing everything down.
- Reference points for everything so for example, when I go to the supermarket, I try to park in the same area or I'll line my car up to a reference point of the store so that my car is (e.g) aligned with the end of the trolley cover. I sometimes will walk directly in a straight line (within reason obviously) until I hit the reference point. That way when I leave the store I go the end of the trolley cover outside the shop and walk directly straight line back until I find my car. There has been too many occasions of me crying in the car park cause I've lost my car.
- Post it notes galore - my house looks like stacey solomon's but less instagram worthy lol. I stick them on everything. My meals in the freezer with details and a date. My milk so I know when I opened it (i'm really fussy with use-by dates so I won't guess, I will just throw it out.)
- The "put away not down"/'everything has a home' motto - If I dump something on the stairs, it will stay there. I also apply that logic to things like hanging my clothes up with the outside out so that when I go to get dressed I can put stuff on straight away.
- I have timers for things. I literally have a 2 minute tooth brush timer in my bathroom like a child but time is a bizarre concept for me anyway and I like to wander while I brush my teeth so having a timer means I can wander in and out of the bathroom and still brush my teeth for the correct amount of time.
- Keep everything as visible as possible (clear bins - also helps to keep stuff organised - 'everything has a home')
- Keep everything in a home that makes sense and is easy to get to. Stuff I use frequently stays in top drawers so they are easy to grab. My everyday clothes are on the right side of the wardrobe organised in outfit order (bottoms and top, bottoms and top) so I can literally just open the wardrobe, grab them and go.
- I write everything that needs doing around the house down and separated into daily, weekly and monthly - sounds absolutely nuts and it goes back to my point above like I should be able to remember to do my washing/hoover the floor etc but I won't until it gets to chaos and then it feels impossible. So I find that a list means I can do a daily check of 'floor = hoovered and mopped, bag and lunch for tomorrow = packed, dishes = washed and put away, counters = disinfected, breakfast stuff = set up ready to go'. So in your case you could be like 'evening routine goes 1,2,3' with the visual list as an aide-memoire if you will.
- Spend money on stuff that will help you and make your life easier. If having labels, storage, post it notes whatever will help then do it.
Basically the logic is to abandon all sense of should and do whatever makes you feel better and life easier.
I also think it might be worth seeing what is giving you your dopamine fix too. People with ADHD have naturally lower levels of dopamine so we tend to gravitate to quick fixes like spending, sugar, social media/doom scrolling, fast food, fatty foods, gambling etc.
. I just wondered what people’s thoughts were, I wouldn’t be bothered about getting a diagnosis but I would be keen for tips on how to manage it, especially regarding my weight and finances!