Not saying that parents age is the reason, but there is a theory that there is a correlation between the average age of parents getting older and children being nd / sen .
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I also read some articles/scholarly journals that implied it is more the age of the father (sperm quality) than the mother and that an age gap between the parents (with the father being the older one) of about ten years can be a factor sometimes. Everyone in my family who is ND (quite a few including me lol so I believe being ND is generally way more likely in my family regardless of parental age) has parents where at least one parent (usually the father) was over 40 (usually the mother is younger by a decade) when the ND child was born. I think it's interesting.
I saw some artwork my teenager had done , and they were characters for something, and she'd jotted down a little backstory for them. They were all lbtq and autistic or adhd. I think she's put aspects of herself in her characters.
If school is busy we dial right back on participation in anything outside of school. We are lucky in that school is on the same page as us but they don't always get it right (and neither do we).
I find the run up to Christmas in particular is always difficult. So many things happening and all out of routine.Is anyone still on this thread? Do you have any coping strategies for how to get a child through school? I’m getting so angry about how many extras they’re expected to attend, multiple costume days and plays already and the PTA is like they’ve taken speed the sheer volume being thrown at us all, it’s too much and my child is falling apart
As someone has mentioned below, reducing demands outside of school is a good strategy. Although if you're life is anything like mine, we don't do much at the weekends/after school anyway because they just can't cope with it. My youngest has swimming lessons once a week but he's missed a couple of weeks now as it's just too much for him.
Ah, sorry, I didn't make myself clear. We are the same with our school so if they have events on during the day, we don't arrange anything at all outside of school that week.
The school know about our child's ND and there is provision to sit out one full class a day in the designated quiet space. Sometimes this isn't enough, but equally, I don't want too much school to be missed. We're in Scotland so no fines if we miss a day here and there.
The school know about our child's ND and there is provision to sit out one full class a day in the designated quiet space. Sometimes this isn't enough, but equally, I don't want too much school to be missed. We're in Scotland so no fines if we miss a day here and there.
How old is your child?
Tbh, if school aren't willing to be helpful and accommodating I would just keep my child off for the day. This time of year is absolute overload for a lot of ND kids and school really should be more understanding. Plus the amount of actual learning they'd be missing is negligible.
I'm fortunate that we've only had one year when things were really difficult, but she just missed the last two weeks of the winter term completely.
Tbh, if school aren't willing to be helpful and accommodating I would just keep my child off for the day. This time of year is absolute overload for a lot of ND kids and school really should be more understanding. Plus the amount of actual learning they'd be missing is negligible.
I'm fortunate that we've only had one year when things were really difficult, but she just missed the last two weeks of the winter term completely.
Can anyone relate to this?
Sometimes I speak around people and there is no reaction from them at all , no acknowledgement that I've spoken. I've been trying to come up with explanations
- There's some unspoken rule that we are not talking at this time. Like talking time is over and I haven't got the memo.
- I didn't actually say it out load / at the correct volume and they haven't heard.
- They have deliberately ignored me.
It happened with my child's teacher, and I feel like it's odd , as parents often need a quick word.
Sometimes I speak around people and there is no reaction from them at all , no acknowledgement that I've spoken. I've been trying to come up with explanations
- There's some unspoken rule that we are not talking at this time. Like talking time is over and I haven't got the memo.
- I didn't actually say it out load / at the correct volume and they haven't heard.
- They have deliberately ignored me.
It happened with my child's teacher, and I feel like it's odd , as parents often need a quick word.
Is this in a one on one situation? If so, that's very odd of the other person.
If it's in a group situation, do you make eye contact, use their name to get their attention before you start speaking? Is the person clear that you are directing your comment at them? Are you speaking loudly enough?
I know that the teachers at my daughter's really don't like having a quick word in the playground, so we have to send questions by email or call school to make an appointment, but all schools are different.
If it's in a group situation, do you make eye contact, use their name to get their attention before you start speaking? Is the person clear that you are directing your comment at them? Are you speaking loudly enough?
I know that the teachers at my daughter's really don't like having a quick word in the playground, so we have to send questions by email or call school to make an appointment, but all schools are different.
Not like one to one conversation, more like in public. I can remember it happening on the school run , and at work, to colleagues. Sometimes people might not hear, especially if there is background noise. Other times I may fail miserably at small talk.
We have an app to send messages on at our school too, bur people do make verbal comments at the door too.
I think in group/public situations it can be tricky, there's often people who dominate proceedings, sometimes deliberately, sometimes unwittingly. (I am one of those people - blame the ADHD! 
) Now I'm older and a bit more self aware I make a much bigger effort to ensure that everyone gets heard in meetings, and I keep it zipped unless I have something vitally important to say, but not everyone gets that.
I do think getting the attention of the person you want to address is sometimes the hardest bit, then you're golden. Most people don't ignore others on purpose, unless they're wicks.
) Now I'm older and a bit more self aware I make a much bigger effort to ensure that everyone gets heard in meetings, and I keep it zipped unless I have something vitally important to say, but not everyone gets that.I do think getting the attention of the person you want to address is sometimes the hardest bit, then you're golden. Most people don't ignore others on purpose, unless they're wicks.
I get more work and concentrate more on my wfh days. I also find the office yapper really irritating sadly they are a nice person but I can’t hear myself think when they’re nattering away. Are there some people who have adhd who actually thrive as extroverts and constantly chatter ? This person always speaks so fast and random topics and never stays still it drives me nuts I have no idea when and how they ever get deep work done. I know it’s not for me to say but I was thinking they must have adhd but not like me at all, they don’t even let others get a word in or ask anyone else questions just go on about themselves. Im always mindful of the people in the room and people I’m speaking to and make sure everyone is included but I have done work on myself. I guess we’re all different
I used to have this happen to me before. I don’t know about you but I had to learn to have a stronger voice as I was soft spoken so essentially assert myself, look in there eyes eye contact and make sure it’s a question and also use their name, it took practice. Also worked on my body language so I can appear more confident, it’s sad but people ignore when someone doesn’t appear confident in themselves so not looking down, head held high up. If someone pretends they or didn’t hear you the first time I would repeat but if they ignore again then that is rude and other people will notice that. Did the teacher see you? I would arrange to meet her book an appointment so it’s definite, and you won’t be ignored then
I've had a bit of a day today and it has properly exhausted me. I forgot my bag , and phone when I went out, I drove to somewhere I don't normally. We went to the cinema, which is a sensory nightmare. I hate the surround sound , and hate the way the screen makes me feel disorientated. I also felt quite trapped in the auditorium.
I can't do anything else today as I feel like I have to recover from all that .
I can't do anything else today as I feel like I have to recover from all that .
I went to the cinema yesterday on my own which I’ve never done before! I really enjoyed what I went to see (six the musical) so I was able to hyper focus on it. I get overwhelmed in the cinema too but by people making lots of noise eating, talking and rustling wrappers. Does your cinema do autism friendly screenings? I think they reduce all the noise that you don’t like - they don’t do many of them though
I think there are sometimes autism friendly screenings , usually early mornings. I'm not sure if they'd help me because I find the screen itself too high definition. It tries to make you feel like you are there, in the action. My son doesn't like it either , he felt sick .I went to the cinema yesterday on my own which I’ve never done before! I really enjoyed what I went to see (six the musical) so I was able to hyper focus on it. I get overwhelmed in the cinema too but by people making lots of noise eating, talking and rustling wrappers. Does your cinema do autism friendly screenings? I think they reduce all the noise that you don’t like - they don’t do many of them though
I think I'd have coped better if every little bit had been just so.
It's good you went yourself. I only ever go to the cinema because someone else wants to.
Quoting again to add, autism screenings are once a month on a Sunday morning. It doesn't mention visuals , only audio so not sure if my son would find it an improvementI went to the cinema yesterday on my own which I’ve never done before! I really enjoyed what I went to see (six the musical) so I was able to hyper focus on it. I get overwhelmed in the cinema too but by people making lots of noise eating, talking and rustling wrappers. Does your cinema do autism friendly screenings? I think they reduce all the noise that you don’t like - they don’t do many of them though