Brandy Kearns for the the 7 o’clock Tattle Life Digest update. Earlier today, locals saw what they thought was 4 children at Swamp Creek Beach rescuing a brown whale that became beached.
Upon closer inspection, it was a very short dad-uncle and his 3 son-nephews rescuing their Nutella-filled mum-aunty/sister-wife from chucking a gigantic tantrum after doom-scrolling a snark forum and getting her heavy frame stuck in soft sand.
Town mayor Swampthew McCreekerson overhead her saying “Quick Brad, Knoxxxxaaayyy, Finaaaay and bubbbaaahhh toddlaahhh, look like a happy family while I’m filming you so I can show the world we’re beyond fine and maybe even still attracted to each other!!!!!”
Another local heard her say, “I know; I’ll get pregnant and that’ll put the rumours to bed! We’ll call her Matilda Charlotte after all our favourite sports teams if it’s a girl. Or if it’s another boy, we’ll call him Bronco Hornet.” Brad apparently looked at her in disgust and suggested another dog before running down the beach with the children.
More to come.
Upon closer inspection, it was a very short dad-uncle and his 3 son-nephews rescuing their Nutella-filled mum-aunty/sister-wife from chucking a gigantic tantrum after doom-scrolling a snark forum and getting her heavy frame stuck in soft sand.
Town mayor Swampthew McCreekerson overhead her saying “Quick Brad, Knoxxxxaaayyy, Finaaaay and bubbbaaahhh toddlaahhh, look like a happy family while I’m filming you so I can show the world we’re beyond fine and maybe even still attracted to each other!!!!!”
Another local heard her say, “I know; I’ll get pregnant and that’ll put the rumours to bed! We’ll call her Matilda Charlotte after all our favourite sports teams if it’s a girl. Or if it’s another boy, we’ll call him Bronco Hornet.” Brad apparently looked at her in disgust and suggested another dog before running down the beach with the children.
More to come.
it honestly fits them too.
