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thegreencow

VIP Member
LUXURY CABIN IN THE WOODS FULL TOUR!

There has been a rush out this morning because Isla forgot her swimming costume. Isla says it wasn't her fault and Lazy moans about how she got independence but forgot the most important item. Yes because the world will end if Isla goes 5 days without getting into a hot tub for an inappropriate thumbnail. There is a mad rush to find a shop that sells swimwear. Lazy says she should've checked that she had everything before they left but Isla likes to choose her own clothes. Instead of being in the hot tub they're shopping. First stop is Aldi for passata for Lazy's slow cooked meal.

The Inghams are back and managed to find a swimming costume. No shops there sell chuldrens clothing. Lazy wants to film the slow cooked meal, her favourite - flavoursome and delicious. She chops tomatoes, carrots, celery, mushrooms and onion. She struggles to say 'paprika' but forgot the garlic - a tragedy. You throw the veg, stock cube, paprika, passata, tomato puree, baked beans and Worcester sauce into the slow cooker and leave it. Lazy likes to do it on low for 7 hours but as they had to go to the shops she has to do it on high or it won't be ready until midnight. Or you could've got up earlier rather than putting the dinner on at 3/4pm. Lazy is putting it on high for 5 hours. There are no limited amounts to the recipe. Lazy moans about the washing up. Everyone wants to make pancakes for pancake day so they're having them for lunch.

Lazy get all the spreads out for the pancakes. Then she chops the fruit. Of course Jace is the first to have one. Lazy gives him some Nutella on a teaspoon, which he spread on the pancake as Lazy tells him he's clever. Jace then puts fruit on and then asks for sauce before Lazy gives him some jazzies. Esme shows us how she does her first pancake; layer of nutella, strawberries, raspberries, one piece of banana because she doesn't really like banana, strawberry sauce and cream. Isabelle keeps it simple with lemon and sugar like Creepy has it (although he adds golden syrup too).

Mila isn't having pancakes but is loving the strawberry Creepy gave her. Lazy moans about him forgetting to put a bib on Mila. Creepy shows us outside the cabin and goes over to the hot tub. They had swimming booked but might not go because it's a little late in the day and it's going faster than Creepy expected. They have a 2 hour session but might go tomorrow. They're in the middle of nowhere with no phone signal. They filmed a tour of the cabin yesterday before they trashed it.

Drone shots. Shots of the lodge. I guess the camera died because the footage of the outside seems to have been taken on a phone. Lazy says hello to Prinny, who jumps up at her. She asks Mila if she can hear the birds. They were going to go to the leisure centre but it was a rough night for Lazy. Mila woke her up vomiting in her face because they co-sleep. Mila is never, ever sick but is really tired. The girls are going in the hot tub and Lazy has come outside for fresh air because it stinks of pancakes inside the lodge. Jace says he loves Lazy. She tells him she needs to get Mila to sleep. Jace looks out the window and says the Gruffalo is out there. Lazy cackles at Prinny. The girls are in the hot tub and Jace wants to go in there too. Lazy cannot believe how fast the year is going, we're a quarter of the way through the year at the end of this month and Mila has had her cast on for a month. They're watching van lifers on Youtube.

Footage of Mila asleep, Jace being babysat by Youtube, Prinny asleep ad Isla playing with Lazy's hair. Creepy is feeding Mila her dinner whilst Lazy finishes their dinner. The second to last ingredient is gnocchi "is it knock-i or no-key?". Whilst it cooks on high Lazy is going to grate cheese. She puts the no-key into the unappetising pot of mince, ladles the mixture into a casserole dish and puts cheese on top. It's delicious with mozzarella but Lazy forgot that so the usual orange cheddar had to do. It's stringy and delicious.

Dinner and movie night is done. Creepy is taking himself outside to do the 'funniest' jump scare on Esme and Isla. He's pulled it once before so the second he does it they'll know it's him. He's unlocked their window when closing the curtains but they don't know. He tells us their room is next to the bathroom. . The scare kind of fails and Creepy doesn't get the big screams he wanted for a big clickbait title. He make a weird high-pitched noise as he tells the girls he opened their window when closing the curtains. Esme calls him an idiot. He says he's childish and it isn't funny. Something mega is happening tomorrow.

End of vlog

"Alexa, add Just for Men to the shopping list. My hair is going ginger again foooo."
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New chain of restaurants called Only Pasta by Sarah Ingham, coming to a town near you soon. First 10 customers will receive a free mouldy pepper straight from the Inghams' own fridge.
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Ziggzaggz

VIP Member
So they took Jace on the not so secret holiday as soon as they left hospital, not only that they took him swimming, it beggars belief.
 
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Charmball

VIP Member
OMG I HAVE CRACKED IT!

Chris’s white/grey ensemble isn’t just him trying out new clothes. HE IS JOINING SARAH AND HER WHITE COAT TO REFORM EAST 17!!
 
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getmeoutofhere

VIP Member
Lazy says they clean the accommodation when they leave and the cleaner will just need to change the beds .
what an insult to cleaners even if they have left it ticy it will most likely be thoroughly cleaned
She also said they even strip the beds, then immediately walked into the girls room with no stripped beds and made some excuse as to why they’d not done theirs 😂

Sarah darling you don’t clean your own shit tip I don’t believe for a second you clean one that you don’t have to
 
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Betty Bujo

Chatty Member
Insensitive c¥nt!
If you've had a miscarriage you know exactly how many weeks along you are and you never forget......
 
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Few thoughts from tonight.

Sarah complaining about how she doesn’t like her phone camera because it washes faces out or something. Now I’m almost sure that could be fixed in settings but I guess trying to figure out how is too much like hard work for Lazy.
Though if it really isn’t producing good pictures and videos and that’s how you earn a living (earn is a bit of a stretch I know) you’d think you’d replace it and invest in something of better quality. I thought you were set for life.

Constantly buying piles of books for the little two yet Isla, who apparently inhales books gets one new book about once a year? I would have thought you’d have fewer books for younger kids as you’d re read stories at night and more for a child Isla’s age who wouldn’t keep reading the same books over and over.
Or better yet, get her signed up at the library.

Sarah tells Isla to stop running around Asda. She never says that to Jace or Esme.

Again being vicious pointing and laughing at Isabelle for not knowing a word. Vile bitch.

Isabelle’s beige clothing haul. Guess the edgy gaming girl phase didn’t last long. Good thing nobody threw 700 quid at it.
Oh wait…

A doctors set for a nearly 10 year old? 🤦‍♀️
 
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Bored83

Well-known member
Ingham family drinking game, have a shot every time they mention (insert name of child here) is dinky.

Seriously though, don't try this, you will die 🤣
 
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thegreencow

VIP Member
OUR DOG GOT ATTACKED IN THE NIGHT!

The vlog starts with Jace telling Lazy that Mila is so cute. Lazy has been trying to capture him saying that on camera for ages because she never wants to forget how Jace says "Mimis is so coot Mama". They're up bright and early to check out. She moans that they have to check out at 9:30am and Esme says she wants to check out at 3pm, although Lazy says that takes the mick for the cleaners coming in to clean. Isabelle points out that they don't know how bad the cleaning will be. I recon it will take at least three hours to clean up after the Inghams, at least the showers and bath won't need to be cleaned though. Esme say they clean up before they leave. Lazy has heard from hospitality cleaners that people leave their rooms really bad. The Inghams hoover the floors, make sure the dishwasher is unloaded, put the table back how it was and strip the beds.

Esme and Isla haven't stripped their beds because they wanted to leave it looking like it was, and they've also written 'thank you' into the cushions with their fingers. Creepy walked in with cups of tea in the morning. It's 10:10am because the Inghams managed to get a check out for an hour later. Lazy tells us that when they check in they ask for a later check out and if the place isn't busy they manage to get an extra hour. They've messed up because Lazy has packed Jace's socks and the food except bread for breakfast, got the bread out and realised they have no butter. Jace is eating a Smarties thingymabobbydo for breakfast so they're pretending it's Easter. They'll get something to eat when they leave. Jace asks for McDonalds but Lazy says no. They had pancakes for breakfast on Monday, bacon sandwiches yesterday and the cream buns they made so they're definitely not having McDonalds breakfast. Isla says that next year Easter is on her birthday. Lazy thinks they should celebrate Easter a day early or a day later next year but Isla doesn't want to.

Lazy starts talking about Jace's outfit. Creepy starts moaning that it's half 10, Lazy says it's 10:20 and tells him to shut up because he doesn't pick up the camera. She never puts Jace in jeans because he's dinky but she got some for him in size 18-24 months in Primark and they're falling down. Isla hops into the background and tells Lazy that Jace has her foot. The Inghams are heading to Skegness.

Footage of the drive to Skegness. Its very wet but Creepy says the place looks insane as the fog is blocking the view of the sea. He reminds us this is where Jace fell sick before going into hospital. Creepy feels like he's in the desert. All the arcades are shut. Creepy walks over to film the sea because he wanted to, although no one else wanted to get out of the car. Skegness is on Creepy's bucket list so they'll be back on a nicer day. He moans that his camera is getting soaked. They're off to Costa.

Creepy and Isabelle walk down a street. Mila has fallen asleep so they're not getting her out. They're getting something to go. They come out and Creepy says he can smell the chai already. Driving footage.

The Inghams have been home for an hour. Mila and Isla are playing with some toys on the living room carpet. Jace is tired and Lazy says he looks like a ragamuffin. Creepy is hoovering in the kitchen because Jace dropped something. Then he comes in and takes Jace because he needs to get changed.

Lazy bought Mila a present for her first Easter. She wouldn't usually spend this amount of money on Jace or the girls. She's has a theme going on and will continue with it until Mila's first birthday, much to Creepy's amusement. Lazy got a pink one when she was born, Granny Jane got one for her first Christmas and so Lazy had to get one for her first Easter. There are four and Lazy fell in love with two so eventually decided to get both. They're dozy dinkums - cackle. Lazy says they're special to keep forever. They'll go on Mila's shelf in her bedroom and she can keep them forever and ever and ever before passing them onto her chuldren, if she chooses to have chuldren, or maybe she won't.

Lazy told Creepy she feels like they've been on an extravagant, high-activity holiday and now she needs to go to bed for two weeks. She feels exhausted and there's no reason why she should feel like that. She has been doing the photography for her blankets to keep herself awake and Isabelle is upstairs helping. They've also been coming up with new designs for Teen and Me because Isabelle hasn't had a chance to do that in the past few months. They've been finalising designs and they're the favourite ones Lazy has ever chosen. Creepy and Mila are asleep on the sofa, which is what Lazy wishes she was doing right now. Jace is sat eating crisps and watching tv whilst Esme and Isla are doing crafts. Isla is doing her egg excavation set. Esme is making something for the 'miscarried' baby using resin. Lazy repeats the story of the 'miscarriage', although she can't remember exactly what week of pregnancy she was. If she'd really miscarried I'm pretty sure she'd remember the week it happened. It's a traumatic event and something you're unlikely to forget. The girls want to keep the pregnancy tests in their memory boxes. Lazy picks up the piece of napkin with 'big brother' written on it and asks Esme how they revealed the pregnancy to them. Esme is making a resin thing with it.

Lazy heads upstairs. She and Isabelle are going room to room taking pictures of the products. She hates taking photos because she never gets the colours of the blanket right. They were fiddling around with the setting and finally got the right pictures. There is a black galaxy blanket but the colour is coming out as purple so Lazy isn't listing it. Creepy keeps saying they need to list it and can just say it's black in the description, but Lazy doesn't want to in case she gets bad feedback. Isabelle shows us the photos she took and Lazy moans that it's hard to take photos. Isabelle used the nursing home chairs for the adult blankets. Isabelle feels like she has no energy and Lazy says it's the weather. Lazy lays on Isabelle's legs for a brief head massage before getting up and moaning about the Tat and Me products again.

Mila has had her dinner. She likes to throw food everywhere. Creepy decides to do a quick storytime because Mila melted his heart this morning. Lazy walked across the bedroom corridor in the cabin, Mila clocked Creepy and said "Dada da". She then said "ay Da". She's said "mama" loads of times recently. Esme was teaching her to clap her hands. She says she usually smiles when you say "cleeeeeever giiiil" to her and tries to demonstrate but Mila refuses to co-operate.

Lazy reads to Jace and Isla. Creepy says he wasn't supposed to come home and fall asleep on the sofa, although it was needed because he's been feeling ropey all day. He woke up feeling rubbish and that is why the vlog was late Jace is full of cold tonight. Prinny terrified Creepy last night. She was let outside and sniffed around the perimeter of the cabin. Creepy waited for her to come back and when she did she started making a weird nose (which Creepy does an impression of). She bolted around the corner with her head down and a cut on her eye. Creepy tells the fooooo/rascal to come over to him. She has a cut on her eyebrow and Lazy says it was a hedgehog or badger. Lazy suggests it was a cat so Creepy does an impression of one. He says she was like a pirate dog with one eye shut. He shows us the tiny cut above her eye.

It's 7pm but everyone is off to bed for a really early night. Lazy has a surprise for Isabelle tomorrow, to which Creepy creepily says "oh yeah". Lazy tells him no clues.

End of vlog

After Lazy told Isabelle they have a surprise for her tomorrow.
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When you go for a blind date and see Creepy sat there
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thegreencow

VIP Member
WE HAVE A SECRET..

The vlog starts with Jace talking about how the Gruffalos are hiding in the trees. Lazy tells him they're his friend. Jace says Lottie told him they're so angry. I bet Esme had a role in that as well. Despite Lazy trying to convince him the Gruffalo want to be his friend; he never wants them to be nice. Creepy and Lazy tell Jace the Gruffalo is hungry. Jace says the Gruffalo smacks the table when he's hungry. Lazy tells him to sit on the stool and tell her about the Gruffalo and the Grump whilst she makes his toast. Time lapse of Esme and Isla sat in front of the laptop home schooling. It doesn't look like they're getting tutored either, just copying something off the internet.

Lazy tells Jace to tell us what happened to his arms. She asks if his arms fell off, he says no and then she cackles because she's the funniest person who's ever lived. Jace has to have a sleepsuit on him at night because he pushes the quilt off. The arms of Jace's sleepsuit are detachable so Lazy took them off last night as it was warm. No one knew they came off so Lazy unzipped them quietly, pulled them off and said "da-da". It was funny because no one expected it. Now that it's getting warmer Lazy is going to keep the arms off. The sleepsuits are one of her new Tat and Me products of course. Jace climbs onto her back and starts rolling his car over Lazy's back. There are two girl designs and two boy designs but Lazy gives permission for boys and girls to wear either. The car one is Jace's favourite.

Mila is sat on her bean bag. Jace wants to play with his cars. He's given Lazy a broken one. His favourite is the green one and he gives it to Lazy. Time lapse of Lazy playing with Jace and waving a toy in front of Mila's face.

Creepy is holding Mila as Lazy advertises one of her wankets, which Mila is wearing. She is wearing the smallest one and Creepy reminds us that Mila is dinky. They're getting the products up this weekend. Mila is getting fussy so Lazy thought she'd pop her in the sling. She was taking Jace and Mila for a walk and Creepy asked to go with them so Lazy said yes. She tells Jace he can't put his stick in the hot tub.

Creepy moans about the rain. He moans that Lazy has taken his Greggs caramel shortbreads. Lazy says he can have one whilst she and Jace share the other one. Footage of Lazy and Jace walking through the forest with Prinny. Creepy films the privately owned cabins in the gorgeous forest. Lazy has been creepily looking into the cabins again, and she says the bedrooms are massive, proper big double bedrooms. More walking.

A breathless Lazy says they're almost back at the cabin for a cup of tea. Mila is still asleep. The girls should be finished with their schoolwork as it's 3pm. I don't know why they bother, it's not like they're learning much. Copying down info from Google and then forgetting about it is not home schooling. They're heading up to the leisure centre and Lazy is so excited. She lets us into the secret that they had a secret holiday they didn't vlog. It felt naughty. It was the cabin they had booked when Jace was ill; he was discharged from hospital, they went home and got up the next day, thinking of what to do. Jace was bouncing off the walls whilst Lazy was thinking of what to do so suggested they go swimming. Then Creepy suggested they go to the empty cabin and go swimming there. Jace was fully better so they decided to go. They love the leisure centre.

It's an hour later, 3pm. Lazy has been stuck to the stool with Mila on her. The girls are in the hot tub and it's time for lunch. They're off to the leisure centre between 6-7pm. For lunch is Lazy's absolute favourite; Brazillian black bean stew with tomato, cashew and quinoa. Lazy spent too long pronouncing quinoa as ki-noah or ca-noah.

Creepy closes the car door and follows the girls into the leisure centre. Esme says she's wearing her favourite swimming costume. Jace is wearing his life jacket. Lazy says the last time they came there was very special because it was Mila's first and last chance to go swimming. She loved it. Music to shots of the leisure centre. Creepy is missing out on having a wash because he's looking after Mila. Esme forgot her goggles so can't open her eyes underwater. Footage of the girls swimming. Isabelle is babysitting Jace whilst Lazy films.

Lazy goes to the outside pool. There are birds in the tree. The pool is really hot and cosy, and the rain makes it cosier. More footage of the kids in the pool.

Creepy tells us a fun story about how they got an Indian takeaway the last time they were at the cabin, and it was the best Indian takeaway he'd ever had. They watched a movie and it was the best night ever. They had to recreate it after swimming because they had the munchies. Everyone crashed afterwards and has gone to bed, leaving Creepy to say goodnight to us. He's been left to clean up the mess and say goodnight to us. Something cool is happening tomorrow and something cool is happening every day they're at the cabin. They go home on Friday so have one full day left. Prinny has a bone that lazy bought her. Creepy loves editing in the cabin because the bedrooms are at the other end of it so there's no possible way him pottering around or watching another movie will disturb anyone. Closing the door blocks out the sound. Thumbs up for that. I very much doubt you want to block out just the sound of a movie you pig.

End of vlog

His nails are filthy. Has he never heard of nail clippers?
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He thinks he's gorgeous
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I think the first part of this describes him.
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I don't think sausage fingers needs to point at Creepy, he could be seen a mile away with that stupid hat on.
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Abbvay

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I don’t believe that’s where they’d booked to go when Jace got sick. They were in the caravan. Why would they have taken the caravan to those cabins? I reckon Creepy got on the internet when he was sitting next to Jace’s hospital bed and spent all of his waking hours trying to find somewhere to go. They’re on the run from something. Their behaviour is just too odd for them not to be.
Its so weird either way. To be sat next to your child in hospital thinking "we should be on holiday now, hope we don't miss too many days" or "I'm going to sit here and book a holiday for the second he gets out"
 
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MissWinnie

VIP Member
Poor Jace getting dragged out after spending that time in the hospital. Who in their right mind takes a child with an infection that was still healing to a holiday park - they keep stooping lower and lower. No wonder they were so eager to leave the hospital and probably assured them he would go home and rest because that is what would have been recommended in agreeing to discharge early.

How much longer are they going to keep getting away with this neglectful behaviour because they sure as hell aren’t putting their kids needs first - Chris needs to grow the hell up, the children need stability and routine not getting dragged around the country to feed his addiction to running away from whatever it is he seem’s to be dodging and Sarah is just as despicable for enabling this behaviour.

Filming in a changing room & pool as well 😡
 
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kizzy

VIP Member
The state of the straps on Milas highchair 🤢🤢🤢🤢
Any guesses as to where they've gone??
Wherever it is they've gone, they've transported their baby daughter there illegally and unsafely, they just don't give a shit as long as they get another 'holiday' in.
 
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hatetealovewine

VIP Member
If my husband suggested I pack up my family to go and stay in a self catering lodge for 4 nights an hour from we live (where we wouldn't move from) I know exactly the words I'd say.

I'm sorry if I offend Tattlers and I understand everyone has different budgets.

To me, I 'holiday' to see different areas/countries to immersion myself and my family in their heritage/culture.

Spending 4 nights within an hour drive from where you live and keep locked up in your accommodation is bloody weird.

Thought there was something 'mega' happening in the previous 'episode' but stay tuned there's something 'really exciting' happening in tomorrow nights 'episode'
 
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Abbvay

VIP Member
Isla really got a doctor set to play with? My 5 year old will still sometimes play with hers, my 9 year old wouldn't. I can't imagine many 10 year olds are choosing that kind of thing to buy. Most have them as toddlers.

When she's talking about looking for toys for Mila, how have they not got things appropriate for her age from when they had Jace? Its a small age gap, why do they get rid of everything to then buy new again soon after. If they just looked in the garage they'd find some.
 
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getmeoutofhere

VIP Member
So the girls are terrified of their own house because their mother keeps saying they have stalkers. So what does the fuckwit father do, try and scare them at bedtime by creeping up to their bedroom
Window. Way to fuck up your kids guys

More cheese and slop for dinner I see. What a riveting holiday. Same shit different location. Not like they have a hot tub at home is it?
 
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hatetealovewine

VIP Member
My dear beloved Tattlers, I need some advice. I know you good soles will help & guide me.

I am about to undertake some renovations (aka redecorating the master bedroom)

We will be moving out of said room while all renovations take place.

We will be moving into another room in the house.

We will be performing all normal duties.

CAN I CLASS IT AS A HOLIDAY? (like the Inghams, I am sleeping in a different bed)
 
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HuncaMunca

VIP Member
I don’t believe that’s where they’d booked to go when Jace got sick. They were in the caravan. Why would they have taken the caravan to those cabins? I reckon Creepy got on the internet when he was sitting next to Jace’s hospital bed and spent all of his waking hours trying to find somewhere to go. They’re on the run from something. Their behaviour is just too odd for them not to be.
 
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