“The Ick”

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The flip side of hairiness is men who shave their chests completely smooth. Why!!!
I love a hairy chest!!!!

I just remembered this other thing that winds me up. Men who try to "take care of you" like you are helpless and only he can save you. I was chatting to this guy for ages but he kept pushing me to talk about my feelings when he would ask how i was. He could never accept that some days I was tired or fed up, it was always some deeper issue that I must have and only he can help me with it. Like he wanted me to be depressed or something.
 
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The flip side of hairiness is men who shave their chests completely smooth. Why!!!
Ohhh or those fitness guys who shave their arms, chest and back and then they have ingrown hair and there's a million red inflamed dots all over - whyyyyyyyy? :sick:
 
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Ohhh or those fitness guys who shave their arms, chest and back and then they have ingrown hair and there's a million red inflamed dots all over - whyyyyyyyy? :sick:
I get it if they are competing as it shows off the muscles better but thats some upkeep.
 
I love a hairy chest!!!!

I just remembered this other thing that winds me up. Men who try to "take care of you" like you are helpless and only he can save you. I was chatting to this guy for ages but he kept pushing me to talk about my feelings when he would ask how i was. He could never accept that some days I was tired or fed up, it was always some deeper issue that I must have and only he can help me with it. Like he wanted me to be depressed or something.
I used to have a male friend who would analyze everything and similar to that, he would always think there was a deeper issue at play. "It's very telling that *insert meaningliness thing I did*". And he would probe and grill me, used to wreck my head.
 
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Everyone is at it these days tho, you're supposed to be hairless except for the hair on your head, brows and lashes - these have to be thick and lustrous! ;)
 
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talking of bad tattoos, my friend used to go out with a guy who had a massive tat of his toddler's face on his chest. She said it was really off putting during sex.
I've had to look at an ex's name on a chest before (they're back together now) 😂 ... but it's more when your cuddling you don't wanna see that do you and also the words 'go hard or go home' from someone else. Not great:ROFLMAO: I would take those over a toddlers face though!!
 
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I've had to look at an ex's name on a chest before (they're back together now) 😂 ... but it's more when your cuddling you don't wanna see that do you and also the words 'go hard or go home' from someone else. Not great:ROFLMAO: I would take those over a toddlers face though!!
He had a tattoo of go hard or go home and his ex's name on his chest? Jesus that's awful!
 
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I don't know if this even counts as 'the ick', but this guy I went to school with has asked me out three times this year (first before the pandemic, second after lockdown and third last week). Every time he does I explain that I'm not interested in dating and, if we were to go out, it would definitely just be as friends catching up, but even this makes me nervous that he'll get the wrong impression.

Last week he asked again and actually used my busy schedule against me this time, as this was my excuse last time (i.e. 'I know you work, go to uni & train everyday but you surely have an hour to give me?') and then, after I agreed to a meet up as friends, proceeded to say that 'we'll go on a few dates and take it slow'. The idea that already he thinks it's a romantic date and expects to be taking it slow has made me cringe. I can't even use lockdown as an excuse as we (in Wales) come out of it on Monday 😂 I feel like I just had to get it off my chest - the ick is now so strong I can't face the meet up, but I feel awful telling him for the third time I am not interested
Omg I had the same thing happen to me with a guy at uni. Kind guy but he asked me out like 4 times and each time I would have to politely decline - after a certain point it just became so exasperating and he insisted that we should just go out for a meal or something.

It gave me the ick too lol. I felt kind of bad because he was a sweet guy but I just wasn't attracted to him in the slightest. I ended up saying that I was seeing someone (a white lie) because it got so annoying!
 
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I went out with someone who was overly competative about everything. If I said I had busy day at work, his day was busier. If I said I got praised for finishing a work project on time he'd say he got praised for finishing a work project a week before the deadline.

He would brag about naff things like 'I've got amazon prime so I get free shipping' then when I said I had it too he asked how long ago i joined to see if he got their before me. He was like a man child, just so childish. If it was something like id been to new york and he hadnt we couldn't talk about new york. He would change the subject but if he'd been somewhere i hadn't he would go on and on for ages. The last straw was when we went to a pub for burger and chips. He smiled when the food arrived and said 'oh dear i got more chips than you' I said the portions look the same so he started to count his chips out.
I just get ick as soon as there's a whiff of FES - fragile ego syndrome. Any bragging or boasting is a total put off. I think modesty is one of the most attractive attributes a person can have.
 
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I went out with someone who was overly competative about everything. If I said I had busy day at work, his day was busier. If I said I got praised for finishing a work project on time he'd say he got praised for finishing a work project a week before the deadline.

He would brag about naff things like 'I've got amazon prime so I get free shipping' then when I said I had it too he asked how long ago i joined to see if he got their before me. He was like a man child, just so childish. If it was something like id been to new york and he hadnt we couldn't talk about new york. He would change the subject but if he'd been somewhere i hadn't he would go on and on for ages. The last straw was when we went to a pub for burger and chips. He smiled when the food arrived and said 'oh dear i got more chips than you' I said the portions look the same so he started to count his chips out.
I just get ick as soon as there's a whiff of FES - fragile ego syndrome. Any bragging or boasting is a total put off. I think modesty is one of the most attractive attributes a person can have.
Christ, this sounds like some old friends that I have, but thankfully don't see or hear from very often. They only message me when they want to talk about themselves and want compliments on their amazzzzingggg life and amazzzinnggg job 😴 and when I try and catch them up on my own life, it's always a competition about how they're doing better. So exhausting!

How long did you go out with the competitive guy, if you don't mind me asking?
 
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How long did you go out with the competitive guy, if you don't mind me asking?
I went out with him for around four months. I tried to put up with it because I really fancied him but in the end the childishness diminished the attraction. It just became too tiresome and I didn't look forward to seeing him in the end. Even something like just going to the cinema was a pain. When he chose the film he'd say 'that was brilliant blah blah blah' if I chose the film he'd say ' it was okay, nothing special or he'd make a joke about getting a refund. I believe its insecurity and low self esteem based.
 
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He would brag about naff things like 'I've got amazon prime so I get free shipping' then when I said I had it too he asked how long ago i joined to see if he got their before me. He was like a man child, just so childish.
Bet he also finished in bed FIRST 🤣
 
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Omg I had the same thing happen to me with a guy at uni. Kind guy but he asked me out like 4 times and each time I would have to politely decline - after a certain point it just became so exasperating and he insisted that we should just go out for a meal or something.

It gave me the ick too lol. I felt kind of bad because he was a sweet guy but I just wasn't attracted to him in the slightest. I ended up saying that I was seeing someone (a white lie) because it got so annoying!
I’m glad others feel this way too. I’ve had two guy friends like this. After a certain point it just made me quite angry - it just felt so disrespectful that they wouldn’t take my ‘no thanks’ seriously? The bit from @bookworm1403’s post where the guy said “we’ll just take it slow” really enraged me actually.

One of the guys ended up being a reasonably good mate after I unequivocally but kindly told him I wasn’t interested, and then I was in a relationship quickly after that. But even when I officially knocked him back he basically said OK I understand but we have loads in common and you’re xyz this and you like xyz that, and you don’t come across that very often. And even though I knew it was a compliment, it was just baffling to me that he clearly didn’t respect my agency of decision at all? It’s odd because he’s actually a very kind guy who would never think of himself as sexist, but it was the fact that he felt that his reasons for wanting to go out were more important than my reasons for not wanting to! Does that make sense?

He’s also a bit like @CherryAcid and @SqualorVictoria mentioned where everything is deep and meaningful and he won’t keep a dignified / appropriate distance. For example, he also lent me some books (that I didn’t ask for) and put index cards in them with ‘thought provoking’ notes. He just goes a tiny bit too far - like always buys chocolate for the girls in his team, does too many favours for people, and is the one in the group who always initiates everything. He’s lovely and kind but it’s just like dude, don’t be such a weird combination of needy wet blanket and secretly domineering psycho.
 
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I’m glad others feel this way too. I’ve had two guy friends like this. After a certain point it just made me quite angry - it just felt so disrespectful that they wouldn’t take my ‘no thanks’ seriously? The bit from @bookworm1403’s post where the guy said “we’ll just take it slow” really enraged me actually.

One of the guys ended up being a reasonably good mate after I unequivocally but kindly told him I wasn’t interested, and then I was in a relationship quickly after that. But even when I officially knocked him back he basically said OK I understand but we have loads in common and you’re xyz this and you like xyz that, and you don’t come across that very often. And even though I knew it was a compliment, it was just baffling to me that he clearly didn’t respect my agency of decision at all? It’s odd because he’s actually a very kind guy who would never think of himself as sexist, but it was the fact that he felt that his reasons for wanting to go out were more important than my reasons for not wanting to! Does that make sense?

He’s also a bit like @CherryAcid and @SqualorVictoria mentioned where everything is deep and meaningful and he won’t keep a dignified / appropriate distance. For example, he also lent me some books (that I didn’t ask for) and put index cards in them with ‘thought provoking’ notes. He just goes a tiny bit too far - like always buys chocolate for the girls in his team, does too many favours for people, and is the one in the group who always initiates everything. He’s lovely and kind but it’s just like dude, don’t be such a weird combination of needy wet blanket and secretly domineering psycho.

slightly off topic but sort of relevant, I don't want to blame the media but I do think a lot of the reasons men act this way is because in a lot of rom com-esque films when you strip it down, it is just the male character pestering the woman until she says yes which is spun as romantic. I suppose when you see this constantly and when in media meant for men, women are essentially just there for the male character (see manic pixie dream girl), it's no surprise really that men think they should just chase. Then add on that women who tell their friends "oh give him a chance, he's nice".

It's not just in media, have you ever seen a really old couple being interviewed about how they got together and then the man will say "oh she didn't like me at first but I kept asking and she gave in and we've been together ever since." Maybe I'm just a raging feminist but it really gets on my nerves .
 
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It’s male inborn sense of entitlement and it’s bought into by women too...hopefully less so as the world becomes more enlightened.
 
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The last straw was when we went to a pub for burger and chips. He smiled when the food arrived and said 'oh dear i got more chips than you' I said the portions look the same so he started to count his chips out.
I just get ick as soon as there's a whiff of FES - fragile ego syndrome. Any bragging or boasting is a total put off. I think modesty is one of the most attractive attributes a person can have.
This is hilarious 🤣🤣
Ah fragile ego syndrome....
I completely agree, modesty is such an attractive quality. And ability to laugh at yourself!
 
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Not knowing the anatomically correct names for genitals. tina... labia majora and minora... clitorus... cervix... pubic mound... these are not interchangeable with the VILE word P.U.S.S.Y
 
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